Monday, September 7, 2026

The Mummy (Unfortunately, The One w/ Tom Cruise)

The Mummy (2017)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Alex Kurtzman

Starring: Tom Cruise, Annabelle Wallis, Sofia Boutella, Jake Johnson, Russell Crowe

From: Universal

The Dark Universe is especially funny now, almost a decade later. How badly this movie flopped at the time and it killing off a franchise after just one movie is an incredible failure. So is releasing an IMAX trailer that accidentally only included a vocal track and not any of the other audio tracks (score, sound effects, etc.), resulting in a hysterical video that everyone guffawed at. In 2026, I have long been fed up with shared universes, or the attempts to start a shared universe, needless sequels, etc. The Mummy popping up on Prime was the main reason why I even gave this a shot, almost a decade after the fact.

Not even Tom Cruise could save this; I enjoy him as a movie star… him as a person, not as much. They tried to make this an adventure in exotic Middle Eastern locations with horror elements and end-of-the-world implications… this is a mixed bag at best. Cruise and odious comic relief pal Jake Johnson are military men who are in Iraq and they sell antiquities on the black market. Well, they uncover an Egyptian tomb (actually, a prison) and release the supernatural Sofia Boutella.

The Mummy is forgettable nonsense; a modern blockbuster in the most pejorative sense… mindless, disposable crap. They attempted to add more horror to the adventure than was in the ’99 Mummy (however, they ended up with a mummy version of a Mission: Impossible picture, to mention a frequent complaint) yet this has failed attempts at “humor”, little of the charm, bad ideas, wasn't scary at all, & bombastic spectacle that is tiresome… and I’m someone who’s avoided most of those superhero films.

The fact that they blatantly ripped off an 80’s horror movie (from Universal, as a matter of fact) and probably were inspired by a cult 80’s horror movie didn’t help either, nor did the time wasted establishing a cinematic universe that never occurred. Russell Crowe and Annabelle Wallis were fine, I guess, although the former as Dr. Jekyll (!) was quite wacky. I didn’t hate everything, re: The Mummy. They tried for atmosphere at times, and that wasn’t bad. The plane crash sequence was cool, although it should have been in a Mission: Impossible or a similar Cruise action film.

Instead of what many proclaim is Cruise’s worst film-a movie so lousy that something starring him flopped worldwide-I would have vastly preferred a 70’s Hammer movie involving a mummy, knights from the Crusades, and havoc across London. That at least would have been FAR more memorable than this poppycock.

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