The Professionals

The Professionals (1966)

Runtime: 117 minutes

Directed by: Richard Brooks

Starring: Lee Marvin, Burt Lancaster, Robert Ryan, Woody Strode, Claudia Cardinale, Jack Palance

From: Columbia

Thank goodness that this film of all films has been on Netflix for years. This was back when they rarely had movies of this age and now in recent times, the platform cycles different vintage pictures in & out on a regular basis. The presumption is that someone high in the hierarchy of Netflix is a giant fan.

To me, that’s understandable; there is plenty to like. While not a masterpiece like some Westerns of old, what was then the new trend (Spaghetti Western) or ones that would come later like The Wild Bunch, this seemed like a nice bridge between them. The setting is the Mexican Revolution; the particulars of that don’t need to be known beforehand, except that the setting was the late 1910’s… both the dying days of the Revolution & the Wild West.

Ralph Bellamy hires Lee Marvin, Burt Lancaster, Robert Ryan, and Woody Strode for a daring mission to Mexico to rescue his kidnapped wife from Jack Palance-of course I’d enjoy such a motion picture. Yeah, Palance is in brownface but of course that was still common back then; at least it was a quality performance from him. As the wife was Claudia Cardinale, no wonder Bellamy wanted her back so badly! Of course, this scenario is more complicated than expected, they can’t trust everyone they meet on this trek, and not everyone on the team agrees with each other.

There is quality action throughout (mainly shootouts but the raid on Palance’s camp was great in a different way) between the great actors interacting w/ each other, the inherent drama of this dangerous journey, and the added dynamic once Cardinale starts interacting with our leads. The print Netflix has both looks and sounds great-a boon for the stunning cinematography of the desert landscapes and natural rocky features-filmed in the deserts of California and Nevada-which proved to be the biggest foe for everyone.

As there’s also a Maurie Jarre score that’s emotional-always fitting to the on-screen action-this is a movie well worth seeing, especially if you’re a Western connoisseur. This is far better than much of the gruel, the tripe that Netflix has on their platform. I’m sure most of those movies don’t have the amazing final bit of dialogue that this does.

The Frozen North

The Frozen North (1922)

Runtime: 18 minutes

Directed by: Buster Keaton/Edward F. Cline

Starring: Keaton, Joe Roberts, Sybil Seely, Bonnie Hill, Freeman Wood

From: First National Pictures

Buster Keaton once did a short as an FU to someone who insulted his friend! I’ll explain later but this friend in question was… Fatty Arbuckle, and yes in reference to the whole Virginia Rappe thing. It’s upsetting if you don’t know what happened to her and how Arbuckle’s career was ruined despite never being convicted of a crime against her. This was portrayed by fictional characters in Babylon.

Alaska is the setting, presumably in the last years of the 1800’s; it’s the Klondike Gold Rush, as also presented by Chaplin in The Gold Rush. Keaton arrives in a snowy landscape and comes across a gambling hall in town. He attempts a daring robbery but suffers a defenestration. His character is known as The Bad Man and is a coward robber who shoots people from behind, attempts to hook up w/ married women, and other shameful behavior.

The Frozen North was meant as a parody of William S. Hart, often said to be the first cowboy star in cinema. I’ve only seen one of his films & perhaps I’d find this even funnier if I was more familiar. As is, this was still amusing even w/o the added context. The reason why Buster wanted to give Hart the proverbial middle finger: the cowboy star repeatedly bashed Fatty Arbuckle to the press, presuming he was guilty. Apparently, Fatty presented this outline of a story to Buster. I’ve heard differing accounts of how long Hart avoided taking to Keaton after this released, but it was for at least one year and possibly many years.

This is not the best Keaton by any regards; that is more a testament to his legendary career than the quality of this short on its own. I laughed & was entertained; Buster in a snowy landscape was different from the norm. I was also amused that a few gags from The Frozen North were lifted for the 1940 Three Stooges short Rockin’ thru the Rockies. Such things happened back then-and who knows if those gags made their debut on celluloid here or if there were earlier examples-so I am not stating that as a negative.

Buster Keaton fans that are captivated by the thought of him depicting a character exhibiting villainous behavior will be well-served to check this out on YouTube.

Heroes of the East

Heroes of the East (Zhong Hua Zhang Fu) (1978)

Runtime: 105 minutes

Directed by: Lau Kar-Leung

Starring: Gordon Liu, Yuka Mizuno, Cheng Kang-Yeh, Ching Miao, Yasuaki Kurata

From: Shaw Brothers

Communication & compromise are important in a marriage.

I say that as a single dude but the arranged marriage of a Chinese man and Japanese woman in the 1930’s and their arguments over which country’s martial arts is “better” is the backbone of this motion picture. Now, there’s still nationalistic pride here and the wife doesn’t play a big role in the second half of the movie, but even with that noted, I still had a swell time.

Ah Tao & Yumiko are the young couple. The newlyweds appeared to be doing alright-despite some in town rejecting her due to her heritage & different customs-until they start beefing over which of their martial arts is superior. This escalates as both their fighting and weapons are compared & contrasted. This is all humorous, especially when Tao’s servant (the movie’s comedic role and a patsy) is stuck in the middle. Yumiko is so offended, she returns to Japan; via circumstances, several masters of the Japanese martial arts-mainly portrayed by Japanese actors who I’ve seen in Japanese movies before-come to China to all challenge Tao. What a quandary Ah is in.

Unlike what you typically saw from the Shaw Brothers, the Japanese were not portrayed as OOT villains and ultimately, their martial arts are respected. Let’s not dwell on the relations between the two countries as the fractious history they’ve had… as a nerd of course I appreciated seeing these different styles. Those arts from around the world are all fascinating, each having their strengths and weaknesses. Gordon Liu was unforgettable as Ah Tao, even if his character was a jerk and he did fumble the bag w/ Yumiko due to his haughty pride.

I wanted to watch an action film last night; this more than delivered with the number of fights and demonstrations, featuring all matters of weapons. Heck, there’s even a ninja, giving us a long creative segment where Ah Tao engages in trickery himself to thwart the art of illusion tactics of his ninja foe. It’s a relief that after having viewed a few dozen Shaw Brothers movies, all those action beats felt different and it never became hackneyed.

 

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star (1983)

Runtime: 92 befuddling minutes

Directed by: Alex Cheung

Starring: James Yi Liu, Cherie Chung, David Lo, Leung Tin, Tam Tin

From: Shaw Brothers 

This was NOT what I was expecting from “Shaw Brothers sci-fi movie that isn’t Super Inframan” It’s been almost six months since viewing anything from the studio; it’s mostly been oddities like this the past few years. Tomorrow I’ll finally review one of their traditional martial arts efforts; that should help wash out the taste of whatever this was. I mean, how can you explain something you don’t understand yourself?

A major problem: this has a lot of “Hong Kong Humor”, which is something that doesn’t always translate well for me and almost all of it here was as “funny” as rectal cancer. One scene here (involving a woman taking “an IQ test”) was HORRENDOUS beyond belief. To paraphrase a Letterboxd mutual, this had SIX writers-apparently each one wrote fifteen minutes of material independent of each other and it was all combined together. To steal a line from another source, the “plot” was more like a discombobulated bucket of body parts!

I’ll mention details as haphazardly as they were presented:

* The only “sci-fi” in the opening act: a drunk is burned by radiation from a UFO
* Sexism abounds as-among other things-the camera leers on a woman as wind blows up her dress a la The Seven Year Itch
* One of the private eye leads opens his shirt to reveal… not the Superman S but rather a blue shirt with the Shaw Brothers logo (!) as he makes a rescue
* A mad scientist accidentally drinks a potion meant for his caged gorilla. This guy becomes HORNY. That element further stains the film, how there’s “laughs” concerning sexual assault and “close encounters of the fourth kind”
* The opening credits are a blatant riff on Superman; that is matched by a theme song that’s a lightly-veiled disco riff of the John Williams theme. “Lightly-veiled” could be said by me often. In the second act, we see an insane version of the Millennium Falcon, along with what seemed to be Star Wars sounds directly lifted instead of mock versions.
* This isn’t entirely bottom of the barrel. There are two musical numbers (?!), the first featuring disco music, the other, the Cantonese attempting an imitation of an ABBA song! The music was better than the amateur nature of the numbers themselves. There are some scenes in general that looked real nice visually

The film does improve the longer you endure it; that’s mainly because the opening act stunk like yesterday’s garbage. The final act is when the sci-fi elements become more prominent. This includes Temu Darth Vader doing battle against a character I won’t name in a UFO. While that did go on for WAY too long, this did also give us a moment you’ll only see here: a lightsaber sword vs. lightsaber nunchaku battle!

The movie does have its moments & I can’t fault such aspects as the set design. However, the “humor” sank what could have been a fun sort of bonkers motion picture with a bizarre plot. Of course, your mileage may vary.

 

Vampyr

Vampyr (1932)

Runtime: 74 minutes

Directed by: Carl Theodor Dreyer

Starring: Nicolas de Gunzburg, Maurice Schultz, Rena Mandel, Sybille Schmitz, Jan Hieronimko

From: Tobis Filmkunst

I’m thankful to be in the camp that was a big fan of this German/French motion picture. Going in, I’ve known for years that this flick was driven by images, mood, vibes, and shadows more than dialogue and traditional narrative storytelling in presenting its plot. Some naturally won’t vibe w/ this style and might even consider the exercise “boring.”

My esoteric tastes, I was fascinated by this tale where “student of the occult” Allan stops at a French inn and becomes involved with the case of a young woman bitten by a vampire. The film takes its time and as this was the first sound picture for Carl Theodor Dreyer, this was the reason for the minimal dialogue. Pages from a book about vampires serve as the info dump for viewers. Meanwhile, the film was shot in soft focus for atmospheric reasons.

Buttressed by an excellent, moody score from Wolfgang Zeller, Vampyr was a rewarding journey that always was a visual treat. Shadows are seen often, always presented creatively-there’s also a long out-of-body sequence that was a stunning sequence of creativity. Not to reveal too much but the supernatural threat is felt more than seen, a specter that enveloped the atmosphere and loomed large over the film.

An experience like this will naturally not work as well for some film fans; Vampyr is still worth a shot… besides the sub-75 minute runtime, most at least respect the work if they don’t love the film. In hindsight, I should have checked this out in the fall, closer to Halloween. This would work well whether or not you officially participate in any Letterboxd lists for horror movies during the spookiest time of the year.

The Mask

The Mask (1994)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: Chuck Russell (RIP)

Starring: Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Greene, Peter Riegert, Richard Jeni

From: New Line Cinema

RIP Chuck Russell

Yesterday, news broke that Russell (no relation) passed away on Wednesday. While he did not make that many films, I have viewed all his famous efforts. Reviews were done for the third Nightmare on Elm Street and The Blob remake-both worthy of viewing for 80’s horror fans-along with Eraser and The Scorpion King, both amusing action films. However, The Mask hadn’t been tackled since the youth of my 90’s, making this an easy choice.

It wasn’t until years later that I heard the comic this was based on was MUCH darker; that’s irrelevant in this case as I was amused by this wacky live-action cartoon set in an otherwise serious world. Thankfully Jim Carrey wasn’t OOT constantly and was instead normal as the humongous dork Stanley Ipkiss who transforms after putting on that mysterious wooden mask… hilariously attributed to Loki.

As goofy as you expect a live-action cartoon to be, I was still amused. Thankfully, Ipkiss is a likable dork without the mask on, Cameron Diaz was a lovely dame in her debut and the late Peter Greene was quite the villain, along w/ Peter Riegert as the cop foil. It’s a shame that Greene had his personal demons as he was both classic here and as Zed in Pulp Fiction. It was also nice seeing Milo (a very memorable dog) and Amy Yasbeck & Richard Jeni in supporting roles.

Edge City was quite the colorful world-not just the awesome Coco Bongo club. The music was the highlight for me; the swing tunes were awesome, as was the rumba song Cuban Pete-an actual tune from the 30’s. Thankfully, most of the effects haven’t aged poorly. I also saw Ace Ventura: Pet Detective and Dumb & Dumber as a youth. One day D&D will be reviewed here; Ace Ventura I don’t hate yet Carrey was OOT constantly plus there’s that one key plot point…

Carrey did put out a nice statement concerning the great time he had filming The Mask and thanked Russell. New Line Cinema was hesitant about a comedian from In Living Color and a model turned first-time actor as the leads, yet Russell stuck to his guns and helped make two careers. There are rumors that one day there will be a remake which is more in tune w/ the Dark Horse comic series; no matter how that turns out, I’ll be glad that I can like this version, whether as a kid or an adult.

The Great Alligator

The Great Alligator (Il Fiume Del Grande Caimano) (1979)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Sergio Martino

Starring: Barbara Bach, Claudio Cassinelli, Mel Ferrer, Romano Puppo, Fabrizia Castagnoli

From: Dania Film/Medusa Distribuzione

I expect to see a few movies for Spooky Season (starting in just a few weeks!) from the Eternal Family platform; there’s no harm in seeing one or more horror film on EF until then. This was Italian trash from Sergio Martino w/ a Stelvio Cipriani score starring Barbara Bach featuring other recognizable actors like Mel Ferrer, Richard Johnson-he is only in one scene, albeit one where he portrays a wacky character-familiar Italian face Romano Puppo and the dude who was TONY THE PIMP in Demons… yes I was interested.

The film is not a must-see and from what I’ve checked out, his giallos are better. That doesn’t mean there was not fun to be had w/ this nonsense. Mel Ferrer is the A-hole who owns a new resort in a tropical location-this was filmed in Sri Lanka. The local tribe capitulated and allowed these dumb white people to arrive… this angers a local god, who becomes a huge alligator & starts chomping on fools.

Alligator takes a long while to get going, some of the effects are rather quaint (I’m not talking of the fine miniatures; rather, the title creature sometimes has the “incredibly phony” appearance) and the ending made it clear for the viewer what film this was “inspired” by if they somehow didn’t know by that point. There’s unintentional comedy that included dialogue you’d only get in old Italian genre efforts… someone tells their pal in the water that they can go ahead and have a bowel movement, as no one would be able to tell!

Many (me included) won’t complain about seeing Bach in a film, the unexpected absurd moments, a memorable finale-even if it did not include the gore that some would desire-or the random 6-year-old girl who provided comic relief by delivering blunt comments… she actually was funny. However, the highlight wasn’t Bach or the Sri Lankan scenery; it was the Cipriani score. Sometimes funky, sometimes disco, always awesome. That was greatly appealing to my tastes & elevated the material.

I haven’t viewed many killer crocodilia films and there likely are better examples… thankfully The Great Alligator isn’t a CROC…

The Invite

The Invite (2026)

97% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 251 reviews)

Runtime: 107 unforgettable minutes

Directed by: Olivia Wilde

Starring: Wilde, Seth Rogen, Edward Norton, Penelope Cruz

From: A few studios, including A24

Yes, I am giving a high rating to a 2026 theatrical movie in wide release!

By now people are probably shocked at this development. Theatrical releases this year, some I liked rather than loved, while a few popular films I went Scorched Earth on. Before this, the only thing that received a ringing endorsement was the Baz Luhrmann documentary containing mostly new Elvis concert footage. I know people will be APPALLED by this admission but this is my first film directed by Olivia Wilde; what enticed me: knowing that after the opening scene this was a four-hander and a comparison was made to the all-time classic Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Even Wilde herself noted that it was an influence, and not just on the plot.

It’s no shame then that The Invite isn’t an all-time classic like Woolf; be that as it may, I still found it to be great… yes, that was despite the sometimes constant usage of a certain overused curse word. That wasn’t my preference yet there was the suspicion going in that this would be the case-perhaps that didn’t ruin the experience as this IS about Wilde and Seth Rogen as a middle-aged couple who have one (unseen) daughter but are unhappily married and sometimes engage in caustic arguments. She invites Edward Norton and Penelope Cruz-upstairs neighbors in their apartment complex-to dinner.

The film was shot well—the apartment set didn’t feel confining or limiting until there are moments which require that claustrophobic feeling. I wasn’t familiar w/ Devonte Hynes but they delivered a memorable score. I also didn’t know this was based on a 2020 Spanish film unknown to me (The People Upstairs); at least I can say Will McCormack and Rashida Jones delivered a memorable script where the film was a comedy featuring funny moments-most of them rather adult in nature-yet also featured serious conversation and brutal honesty when it came to the fractured relationship of Rogen & Wilde. It’d be a crime to reveal anything more, except that the ending was the cherry on top of this cake.

The quartet all delivered great, nuanced performances-yes, even Rogen. OF COURSE at one point he smoked pot but that is likely a prerequisite for any part he takes. It was a relief to see a mature motion picture which will hit too close to home for those that are also middle-aged & in a troubled relationship with a spouse or a significant other… one which also has mature humor, including talk of sex… and the lack of sex in a relationship.

Not only will I see more from Wilde in the director’s chair going forward, it’d be wise to better support such motion pictures at the cinema when I’m able to. Flicks like this are much more appealing to me than what is usually seen as “popular” currently by most.

Shipwrecked: Nightmare at Sea

This is a new Netflix documentary that sadly was a bit of a letdown: 

This is a Netflix documentary I am disappointed in. The reason for viewing: more than one YouTube video has been viewed of this incident. On January 13, 2012, the Italian cruise ship Costa Concordia passed by too closely to the reef off the shore of Giglio Island, Italy, resulting in a huge gash that sunk the ship.

It was nice to hear from both passengers and the crew of the ship as the villain of this story (Captain Francesco Schettino) decided to deviate from the route to sail that close to the island… to impress the people of the island and allegedly, to also impress his mistress… but this did not bring up the mistress aspect at all, nor that on the bridge he wasn’t wearing his glasses. I’m not sure why they tried to downplay the Captain’s role, but that was baffling. Arguably, Shipwrecked should have better stressed how poor a decision it was to deviate from the route. Some have mentioned that they should have paid better tribute to those that lost their lives; agreed, plus they didn’t even have a tribute to those individuals, not even a blurb. 

Yeah, they did at least present that Schettino was an A-hole who waited WAY too long to call evacuation, then worst of all abandoned ship (deliberately ignoring the orders of the Coast Guard) instead of going down with the ship-figuratively… they’re supposed to leave last. Besides hearing from those on the ship giving their thoughts on what a disaster this was, footage filmed on the night and the days after was truly fascinating.

However, the complaints I’ve heard that this should have included more technical detail and less extraneous details from the passengers… yeah, that can be argued. That said, I recommend reading the Wiki article concerning this tragedy for the proper context. Those YouTube videos I saw were only like 20 minutes long; no specific examples can be given of videos that are at least an hour long but I’m sure a proper search plus reading the comments can guide you in the right direction as they will for me eventually. Hopefully those will do a better job of properly raking Francesco Schettino over the coals.

Gordon's War, Revisited

I watched this movie last night; it was reviewed here 15 (!) years ago but this new review was posted on Letterboxd a little earlier: 

An obscure blaxploitation picture I was happy to revisit for the first time in 15 years. It’s still a shame that the film never made it past the DVD era & the only way to track it down is now incredibly rare showings on the Fox Movie Channel or a YouTube rip; that’s how last night’s viewing came about. Awhile back, someone I know online mentioned the movie elsewhere-about time I finish that discussion.

Paul Winfield (the main reason I first checked this out) is a soldier returning from the Vietnam War; his girl OD’ed from heroin, and he is quite upset that Harlem has been ruined by pimps & drug dealers. He meets a trio of buddies who were also former soldiers and they systematically come down hard on those scumbags via a series of steps with military precision. That’s as complicated as the plot becomes—sometimes you don’t need complex, thought-provoking cinema; instead, the visceral thrill of brutal revenge on sleazy criminals is all you need to be satisfied. A background of The Bad New York City of Old is only icing on the cake. 

Only some genre efforts were directed by someone Black; this was the case here w/ famed actor Ossie Davis. He only had a few directing credits but between this and Cotton Comes to Harlem (even better) he could have had a fine career in this role as well. War always intrigues between the strategy of our heroes, the genre trappings-funky score, clothing, slang, OOT personalities, etc.-a nice vehicle chase and a great moment involving an aerosol can.

While a better physical media release will hopefully occur one day, not every obscure movie even has the luxury of a YouTube upload which looks rather good for a 480p stream. Winfield is the highlight acting-wise but the rest of the cast was fine. There’s even Grace Jones for a scene, although her role was of the stereotypical sort. Even a more “serious” blaxploitation like this can still be a blast.

I'll Catch Up Tomorrow

THREE reviews will be posted Thursday evening, including one for a new movie I actually rate quite highly.

Demonwarp

Demonwarp (1988)

Runtime: 90 unforgettable minutes

Directed by: Emmett Alston

Starring: George Kennedy, David Michael O'Neill, Pamela Gilbert, Billy Jayne, Colleen McDermott

From: Vidmark Entertainment

Attention chat, an HD print of Demonwarp is now available for streaming! A mutual recently did a review revealing this fact. To clarify, it is the 4K print that Vinegar Syndrome created for their recent UHD release of the movie. That print is pristine.

I know some will be like me in that they always waited for a rip that wasn’t from a VHS to appear, and others will be happy that they can now do a rewatch of a movie in much better quality than before. As this is a cult favorite in some circles, this news will make some quite happy. This new print is also on Eternal Family and everyone’s favorite service, Tubi.

Demonwarp is certainly a hoot. After we see a spaceship crash in the California woods, George Kennedy and his daughter are in the Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter cabin playing Trivial Pursuit (the one question asked related to movies. I hope everyone here would know the answer) before what looks like Bigfoot breaks in and kidnaps her. A quintet of goofball young adults-including one whose main acting style is “brooding look”-later spend time in that cabin for a particular reason. Note that this cabin and the surrounding land are owned by a dude known as CLEM, and the cabin is rented out like it’s an Airbnb property.

The first two acts are relatively straightforward as both Kennedy and the goofballs are looking for Sasquatch. The lead dude is not the most likable character but everything is fine, including the moments of gore and the many scenes spent in the California woods. I don’t know what to make that Bigfoot likes to BITCH SLAP people, but… there’s also gratuitous scenes of topless women-including Michelle Bauer, because of course-for those that enjoy such sights! Then the final act occurs… bring on the absurdity. A blitz of disparate elements are combined in a blender than thrown at the screen. It’s totally WTF, and also unforgettable.

A movie this wacky won’t be for all tastes; yet, if they hadn’t made the pivot into the bizarre in the final half hour, far less people would have remembered Demonwarp, there wouldn’t have been as strong a clamor for an upgrade, and Vinegar Syndrome wouldn’t have created a fancy 4K release. Props to John Carl Buechler for conjuring such an oddball plot for a Sasquatch movie truly like no other.

O Brother, Where Art Thou?

O Brother, Where Art Thou? (2000)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: The Coen Brothers

Starring: George Clooney, John Turturro, Tim Blake Nelson, many famous faces in smaller roles

From: Touchstone/Universal

This seemed like the logical film to watch last night! I imagine most will know why, but so we’re all on the same page, this is an adaptation of… The Odyssey, transplanted to the 20th century. I don’t plan on checking out this weekend’s big release, but not for the nonsense reasons that the far-right have stirred up to upset their own kind. My not loving Nolan like everyone else is the reason why, that’s all. Concerns over how dark the movie looked in the trailers and being able to hear all the dialogue are FAR more logical concerns rather than what some snake oil salesmen have claimed… 

Now, my opinions, re: this motion picture-it of a clever blending of a Greek poem, The Great Depression, religion, politics, folk music-among other genres of the South-selling your soul to the devil at the crossroads like you’re Robert Johnson, and real-life figures who I dare not reveal. George Clooney is the de facto leader of a misfit trio who aren’t too bright-he at least uses fancy $5 words but isn’t that intelligent himself. They escape a chain gang and are on an odyssey to acquire buried treasure. Along the way, they meet an onslaught of wacky characters, and even record the hit song I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow for a quick buck. 

Even if you’re not familiar with The Odyssey story, that is irrelevant as characters and moments were lifted but this wacky, absurd tale is still enjoyable without that context. The plot overall is pure Americana representing the late 30’s in the Deep South. John Turturro and Tim Blake Nelson are also swell as the other two in the trio, along with nice supporting turns from various familiar faces. It should be no surprise that the direction, the editing, the Roger Deakins cinematography, and the idiosyncratic moments-there’s way more discussion of pomade than anticipated-you’d expect from our directing duo range from solid to great. 

However, of course it’s the tremendous music that’s the soundtrack which is likely what everyone remembers most from the film. I Am a Man of Constant Sorrow is the standout although all the folk, blues, gospel, country, and bluegrass was delightful-also serving to set the mood for the distinct location. It’s a rich, unique setting, as Sinners proved. Heck, in my head-canon, both movies are in the same universe. Coen Brothers comedy typically don’t work for me as well as their dramas but this did provide solid laughs & was fun. Everyone else that just saw & loved The Odyssey and want to see a different take, this is worth a shot if you’ve never pressed “play” before.

One last detail: I don’t know if Miles Canton will have the same acting career as Chris Thomas King: primarily a musician who only has a few acting credits despite having a memorable supporting role in a big film. King here was Tommy Johnson, a real-life blues musician who has the same crossroads story attached to him as non-relative Robert Johnson. King only has a few other acting appearances: 2004’s Ray is no surprise. However, I howled with laugher that the other one of note is Kill Switch, an apparently awful DTV effort from… Steven Seagal! As awful as Seagal is as a human being, his musical taste is good. I imagine that’s why Isaac Hayes is in Kill Switch as well.

The Land Before Time

Yes, I'm discussing the famed 1988 animated feature from Don Bluth: 

This film was viewed for several reasons.

A) It’s on Netflix
B) I saw this movie theatrically as a little kid with my even littler sisters
C) I promised in the past that more Don Bluth would be viewed.
D) Hysterically, last night on a messageboard there was a mention that there are now TWELVE movies in the Sniper series. I’ve never viewed any of those; of course, a famous example of a franchise w/ an absurd number of sequels is this, which somehow had THIRTEEN, none of which were seen by me and all those were apparently much lighter in tone given that they were musicals while this sure as heck wasn’t. There is a fine Diana Ross song during the end credits, though.

Instead, the OG Land Before Time concerns several baby dinosaurs on a migration to The Great Valley to escape famine. Despite prejudice based on species, they are on their own after major events that include a heartbreaking death. The memories are hazy but I don’t recall me or my sisters reacting badly to that death. The movie is charming despite those dark moments or how scary the T-Rex villain was. 

The movie was obviously edited down at the last minute to remove “scary elements” to appeal to children. When the executive producers are Spielberg, Lucas, Kennedy, & Marshall, I suppose it was out of Bluth’s hands. Whether or not this was the “right” decision for adults or children who were at the age of 7 in ’88 like I was, that’s up in the air. That's why this is barely an hour before the end credits hit.

As an aside, this played on the big screen with the Family Dog episode of Amazing Stories that was also the backdoor pilot to the TV show. I never watched Amazing Stories, Family Dog, or even have any memories of watching this before the movie.

Adult me can appreciate such aspects as the lovely animation, those dark moments, and the James Horner score. Who knows what Gen Z would think of this movie specifically or Don Bluth in general; me, I’m glad to have grown up in the 80’s & 90’s for the entertainment alone. In the future I will check out even more Bluth… both first-time watches and rewatches.

It! The Terror from Beyond Space

It! The Terror from Beyond Space (1958)

Runtime: 69 minutes... nice

Directed by: Edward L. Cahn

Starring: Marshall Thompson, Shirley Patterson, Kim Spalding, Ann Doran, Dabs Greer

From: United Artists 

My apologies for posting this review later than typical. Shock of shocks, Letterboxd wasn’t working right and I had things to do so there wasn’t time to wait.

This film was in fact an inspiration for Alien. That’s what John Carpenter claimed Dan O’Bannon told him. Last night on Turner Classic Movies, he was the guest as Alicia Malone presented a night of 50’s creature features, Carpenter offering his comments before and after.

Concerning It, they both praised the movie despite its silliest moments and the tidbit that the guy in the bipedal humanoid suit reminiscent of the Gill-man (Crash Corrigan) was too drunk to appear for the suit-fitting. Long story short, his melon head (and I say that as a guy with a large melon head myself!) was too big for the suit’s head, necessitating the adding of the toothy mouth to hide his chin. That tidbit is also on Wiki so that isn’t breaking news.

Set in the far-flung future of 1973, the first manned mission to Mars goes awry. This world’s version of NASA got their asses to Mars again by sending a rescue ship for the lone survivor of Ship 1. The creature surreptitiously boards Ship 2, and like in Alien, the creature is impossible to kill and sneaks around the ship. Another moment reminded me of Alien, but it’s a spoiler so an explanation won’t be provided. The creature itself wasn’t bad for a man in a suit, although the idea to keep it in shadow frequently was a wise one.

The movie is easy to criticize if you want to be pedantic. Even Carpenter noted how laughable it was that grenades then a BAZOOKA were used on a rocket ship flying in space! He then noted that it doesn’t matter to him as Terror was a favorite from childhood, where cinema was an escape while growing up in the Jim Crow south and he was bullied due to carrying around a violin-his father wished he would learn the instrument.

I’ve viewed goofy 50’s sci-fi before; this is better in quality than something as kitschy as Cat-Women of the Moon. That has its charms yet Terror does not have annoying characters-although yes they are stereotypical nonetheless. These characters attempt to stop an unstoppable monster, even using logic to do so. The direction, sets, performances, and score were all acceptable at worst.

For those that are huge fans of Ridley Scott’s 1979 classic, this is especially worth a look. So is 1965’s Mario Bava picture Planet of the Vampires, the other credited inspiration for the movie.

 

Green for Danger

Green for Danger (1946)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Sidney Gilliat

Starring: Trevor Howard, Sally Gray, Alastair Sim, Leo Genn, Henry Edwards

From: Individual Pictures

For those that love their sassy, carefree detectives… in the continuing quest to have variety in July, I chose a British mystery thriller picture which had been on my Criterion Channel watchlist for awhile now.

The setting is a rural UK hospital in 1944-the year allows for the Germans to frequently bomb the area via air raids. World War II and the German air raids are key plot points, for reasons that won’t be elaborated on. Time is spent getting to knew the paired-down set of doctors and nurses-their catty arguments and disagreements-before a postal worker dies during an operation.

Green for Danger (the title refers to a key moment in the film) features actors I wasn’t too familiar w/, but one was Trevor Howard—the other Alastair Sim of 1951 Scrooge fame. If you only know him from that, Sim’s character will be eye-opening. He was an unseen narrator at first before appearing as a Scotland Yard detective. His Cockrill was in fact sassy and carefree as other detectives before and since. The humor thankfully wasn’t constant and he used detective skills while talking to the suspects; after a major event, he enacts a bold plan to reveal the killer.

Green was filmed well by Sidney Gilliat (also a writer who worked for the likes of Carol Reed & Hitchcock), featuring quality cinematography and sets; most of the film is set in the hospital. Of course, most delicious was viewing all the characters & how they interacted with each other. This typically included the expected dry acerbic British wit. The mystery itself always kept me at rapt attention.

For those that lap up such entertainment, Green for Danger is undoubtedly worth a shot.

Sleeping Dogs

Sleeping Dogs (1977)

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: Roger Donaldson

Starring: Sam Neill (RIP), Ian Mune, Ian Watkin, Davina Whitehouse, Warren Oates

From: Several New Zealand companies

RIP Sam Neill

I can echo the thoughts of everyone who was saddened upon hearing this recent news, especially after remembering that just months before, a cancer remission was announced. Of course, as someone born in ’81 I’ll remember him best as Dr. Alan Grant in the Jurassic Park franchise; that was the first film I saw him in. Only later on did I check out the likes of The Hunt for Red October, Possession, and In the Mouth of Madness. Even in lousy movies I never had a problem with his performance and off-screen, I found it fascinating he ran a winery in New Zealand & cared about Aboriginal causes both in NZ and Australia.

Choosing a film not watched yet was a priority; this was selected for several reasons. It’s on Arrow’s streaming platform, was the first New Zealand movie that made international waves, was the first feature film from the country shot in 35mm from a fully national crew w/o foreign involvement (!), was Neill’s first featuring film starring role, and was the feature film debut of director Roger Donaldson.

No comment on why, but the concept of the movie made me laugh sheepishly more than once. After all, a fascist government in NZ has began a police state and started martial law after there’s turmoil related to oil in the Middle East… then later in the film, the United States Army becomes involved in an attempt to squash The Resistance. Neill is on a remote island by choice-his wife cheated so he wanted to peace out & be alone. It’s farcical then that due to circumstances, he’s arrested then unwittingly becomes a face of The Resistance.

I use the term “farcical” yet Sleeping Dogs was a downbeat 70’s movie which had some light moments but our lead Smith’s world becomes a nightmare that only becomes more frightening by the day as the fascist government increases their pressure as the vice grip tightens, Smith’s freedom diminishing. More than a few deaths are shown—my downbeat comments were not an exaggeration. At least the score was interesting, as was the decision to include… 70’s New Zealand country music?! They were good tunes, at least.

Those interested in discovering that even in the nascent portion of his great career, Sam Neill had the goods and could deliver quality performances… that plus the significance this had for New Zealand film makes this curio worth a shot. In addition, the presence of the U.S. Army allowed for the inclusion of one then-known actor in the cast: Warren Oates. While not a lengthy role in terms of the few scenes he was in, he of course delivered another nice performance. There definitely are Neill movies to be viewed in the future that probably should have been tackled long ago, I was glad to have selected this.

A Tourist's Guide to Love

A Tourist's Guide to Love (2023)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Steven K. Tsuchida

Starring: Rachael Leigh Cook, Scott Ly, Thanh Truc, Glynn Sweat, Missi Pyle

From: Netflix

So, on Sunday I met Rachael Leigh Cook… again! That’s why I was gone for the entire day. I’ll explain more later but this finally felt like the time to check out this Netflix movie. For years now she’s done these sorts of romantic/Hallmark films which to be frank aren’t in my wheelhouse so that’s why those haven’t been viewed even though yes, I’m a fan of hers.

Her character Amanda works in the travel industry, she breaks up with her dope boyfriend, she goes undercover for a tour in Vietnam as her company wishes to buy that Vietnamese company, the tour leader is a handsome Vietnamese man, you can guess the rest. 

Yeah, the comedic moments, the lovely sights of the country, the exotic setting itself, and the onslaught of facts concerning Vietnam (a secondary purpose did seem to present this like an advertisement to visit the Southeast Asian country… thankfully it’s not pushy in the messaging) were of more interest to me than the romance elements… your mileage my vary. The other people on the tour include a Black lesbian couple w/ a teen daughter-you won’t see that in a Hallmark movie!-who starts to become romantic w/ Andrew Barth Feldman, who I understand the Broadway people would know but I’m not a Broadway guy either.

As for how I was able to meet Ms. Cook both times, both of course were at comic-cons in the Miami suburbs, necessitating road trips of a few hours each. I explained in 2018 (when I had a fraction of the followers I do now) that the first meeting in ’18 wasn’t the best… solely due to me. I did left out the detail that a panic attack occurred before the meeting—that’s why I came off like a buffoon & I’ll leave it at that. Don’t worry, on Sunday I did not freak out beforehand so that interaction went much better. Both times, she was a VERY nice lady, a fact others have stated for a long time.

I won’t share what Sunday’s conversation entailed, except that I finally did explain to her why the first meeting was a debacle… well, that was her term for it! I shouldn’t have been too surprised that she recalled meeting a truly unique, one-of-a-kind individual like myself, but she also remembered that first encounter! Yeah, it WAS a debacle (plus, it’s a great word) so I couldn’t be chuffed at that comment. Thank heavens Sunday wasn’t a disaster this time and I had that second chance. 

As for the film… yes it’s predictable and easy to nitpick; plus, especially today I won’t be unbiased towards a picture where the star was also a producer. Not that large a percentage of my Letterboxd mutuals are even that interested in “romcoms” but hopefully those that are would not disagree w/ my opinion if they ever do give this a shot in the future. Cook and leading man Scott Ly are at least a charming couple. Also, Missi Pyle appears in a few scenes, for those that remember her fondly as well.

I can give the highest recommendation if she’s ever at a con that you attend. Even with a socially awkward, eccentric fellow like myself, she was great. Who knows when or even if a third meeting will happen. Viewing more of her movies and doing new reviews of previously-discussed movies that have brief reviews should occur more often.

Scary Movie (The New One)

Scary Movie (2026)

24% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 131 reviews) 

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Michael Tiddes

Starring: All the returning faces, + the likes of Olivia Rose Keegan, Cameron Scott Roberts, Savannah Lee Nassif, & Sydney Park

From: Paramount/Miramax

You know, I didn't think this was that bad. Many will disagree & that's fine. The bad buzz was why the film was only watched yesterday, while I was elsewhere all of Sunday (I'll explain in tomorrow's review how crazy Sunday was) & took in a theatrical viewing.

As mentioned a few months ago, I did watch the first two movies in the franchise on the big screen-and none of the subsequent sequels, whether at the cineplex or at home-so might as well do the same now that the Wayans family returned. The crowd was predominately Black; of course not every Black person has the same tastes but they were fans of the film & perhaps that did improve my opinion, re: Scary Movie 2026. They definitely knew Kai Cenat; me, it was a name heard beforehand-otherwise, even now I don't know a damn thing about him!

Even I can admit that the humor didn't always land, the most “controversial” moments only earned sporadic chuckles & didn't mean all that much... that and them cramming in the last 25 years of genre references wasn't always to the film's benefit. I actually was concerned as some major horror pictures of recent years hadn't been viewed by me so that might make those references a little awkward. Thankfully, the bones the plot are built on are: the 5th & 6th Scream movies and the 2018 Halloween. As all have been seen by me-heck, all were theatrical experiences-that meant my concerns were unwarranted.

It was nice to see the cast, both old & new. I realize some of the performances have been bashed-fair, although IMO some characters were meant to be that OOT. I also didn't mind the satiric barbs at certain liberal talking points-they also took potshots at the conservatives, don't worry. The random background or random non-sequitor gags & a clever conclusion-where multiple people noted that the motivation for Ghostface here was better than in Scream 7!-helped in my enjoyment. No offense to those in Gen Z but I didn't mind the digs at your generation!

As mentioned by me more often as of late, I love everyone that follows me on Letterboxd (almost six thousand!) yet there should be more caution applied when looking at what users in general rate, especially modern popular cinema. It was a relief that the new Scary Movie worked better than expected.

Pitch Black

Pitch Black (2000)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: David Twohy

Starring: Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser, Keith David, Lewis Fitz-Gerald

From: Polygram Filmed Entertainment/Interscope Communications

The color grading on this film is insane.

I know people will be shocked-probably not appalled but shocked nevertheless-that none of the Riddick movies were ever viewed by me. As people elsewhere discussed it and I believe it was promised by me at this location that at least the first would be given a shot one day… thanks to Netflix that occurred.

Pitch Black sure was a movie released in 2000. After the opening crash on the desert planet where a ragtag group of people are stuck (including some Muslims) I thought this’d be the yellowest motion picture in history, before it turned a blue hue before alternating back to yellow for the rest of the exterior scenes, aside from a green scene. I’m not insulting the film by noting it is something from the early 21st century… as mentioned before, I’ll always be nostalgic for how cinema of this time looked and felt, during my college days way back when.

This picture is not perfect by any means-even in the creature feature genre-and the CG is usually of its time. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t entertained. This ragtag group was sometimes cliché yet still intrigued. Vin Diesel as RICHARD B. RIDDICK was of course the most memorable as the criminal with the surgically-altered eyes, necessitating the usage of those oh-so-cool shades during daylight. It’s the sort of character that of course Diesel is best at for a man of his particular skillset. The rest of the cast was fine, regardless if they were familiar faces.

I’m glad that this was a fun sci-fi creature feature w/ some interesting ideas & touches, along with thrilling horror & action beats. One day in the far-future I should check out the sequels, including the upcoming Furya. Hopefully they all have nice scores like the one Graeme Revell provided here, or Riddick hiding in plain sight like he did in the first act.