Sheba, Baby

Sheba, Baby (1975)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: William Girdler

Starring: Pam Grier, Austin Stoker, D’Urville Martin, Rudy Challenger, Richard Merrifield

From: AIP

This Pam Grier blaxploitation effort is leaving Prime at the end of the month; this plus “Director: William Girdler” intrigued me.

The fact that most of the movie is set & filmed in Louisville, Kentucky was also of interest; that’s not a common filming location, especially for blaxploitation. Grier is an ex-cop in Louisville turned Chicago PI-she must be successful, judging by her Gucci bag-who returns to her hometown to protect her father-owner of a loan company-from gangsters that want him to sell out. Austin Stoker is her dad’s business partner and potential love interest.

Is Sheba as good as Coffy or Foxy Brown? Nope. This does not mean there wasn’t fun to be had. The acting, action beats, characters, period clothing, funky score, & scenarios are all fine. The villains are all hissable; the setpieces include action on a river and a chase through a county fair. For the older Americans reading this review, you might be amused that a short scene is set at a Burger Chef restaurant; there’s a long-defunct chain from the past.

It was also nice seeing Austin Stoker and D’Urville Martin in major roles—the latter was a bad guy known as PILOT. The movie is funny as there are multiple characters w/ pro wrestling monikers: BRICK, SHARK, HAMMERHEAD, KILLER, WHALE, RACKER, and TANK. Pilot was one of several hysterical OOT characters.

It was the standard boilerplate blaxploitation that included some offensive terms I won’t repeat here; thankfully, I enjoy the standard boilerplate, along with the few William Girdler films I’ve checked out. Grizzly and Day of the Animals were unpolished yet still fun animal attack pictures. In the future, more will be viewed.

 

Do Not Enter

Do Not Enter (2026)

Runtime: 91  long minutes

"Directed" by: Marc Klasfeld

"Starring": Adeline Rudolph, Jake Manley, Nicholas Hamilton, Francesca Reale, Javier Botet

From: Lionsgate!

It’s also good advice: Do Not Enter the world of this movie!

By now I’ve heard many bad things about this film from Lionsgate that was dumped on Prime; however, the detail that this is based on the novel Creepers by David Morrell (! Yes, the dude who wrote First Blood) made me curious. Curiosity definitely killed the cast in this case.

From a popular review on Letterboxd from someone I don’t follow, many changes were made from page to screen. The book didn’t include Gen-Z asstagonists as our urban explorer leads. These bozos (including a guy I’ll call Temu Austin Butler) are YouTubers, although not even successful YouTubers. Given how unlikable they are, no wonder. They can’t even find success after discovering alleged Basquiat graffiti. Well, they and a Vice News reporter (!!)-the novel did come out in 2014-visit an abandoned hotel purportedly containing the missing money of real-life gambler/gangster Meyer Lansky.

The movie is just wretched. Do Not Enter is as “scary” as a basket full of fluffy kittens, is the entertainment equivalent of soma pills when it isn’t insufferable, it was impossible to even somewhat like any of the characters besides the reporter until villains that are even worse show up, and they rip off ideas from much better horror pictures. This includes the actual big bad that has killed previous visitors, and of course wasn’t in the novel either. The climax was not only WTF, but also pathetic.

I could dwell on Do Not Watch-how the place has no electricity (most of the movie is dimly-lit, which sadly is a common modern genre problem) yet security cameras are running… or how a key character survived a fall from a great height, or how insulting the scene after the climax was. Instead, one solace I can take for viewing a crummy motion picture: warning others to stay away. I know it dropped 5 months ago but don’t watch this at Halloween-or any other time of year-as it’s not even a funny sort of bad.

Hallucinations

Hallucinations (1986)

Runtime: 60 minutes

Directed by: Mark Polonia/John Polonia/Todd Michael Smith

Starring: The directors

From: CineGraphic Productions

I know some will laugh that this is my first POLONIA BROTHERS joint. I’ve never viewed one of Mark Polonia’s solo efforts either. Zero budget horror is not something I partake in; who knows what I’d think of his modern films (usually involving sharks) but I do have to give Mark and his late twin brother John props for making a horror picture an hour long that wasn’t so bad the viewing experience was like an endurance test… and it was all done at their house during one snowy Pennsylvania winter when they plus the other director-their friend Todd Michael Smith-were all gangly teenagers.

They portrayed siblings (Smith’s character was adopted; one of the twins was “mentally handicapped”) whose unseen mother “always worked,” explaining why the trio are the only actors in the film. The three have a fractious relationship w/ each other; subsequently, the teens all experience the titular hallucinations that range from “bad thing happens to their cat” & “figure in monk robes” and “snake/tube demon” to other phallic imagery; as this is a film where one of the brothers in his tightie-whities adjusts his peen right on camera… only teenage boys could create such a film!

This is not the time to be pedantic; while the rating isn’t that of a 5-star masterpiece, this does not mean that mad respect won’t be given to them by me. This had more practical effects than expected-and they typically looked great for what presumably was hardly any cash. This includes fake blood and various props. There’s even a prosthetic chest and a DIY version of Freddy Krueger, along w/ other things I dare not spoil. The plot is rather threadbare and more like a demo reel. At the same time, there was a lo-fi musical score + an explanation at the end for the bizarre imagery. Sure, the tape goes wonky a few times and at times the dialogue is quite difficult to decipher; who cares when you see a puppet urinate on a photograph!

I won’t go down the rabbit hole of zero budget horror yet I was still glad to have seen something unique like Hallucinations. If John Polonia hadn’t passed away in 2008, I’m sure he and twin Mark would still be making movies together, nevermind the critical opinion or their quality. The exuberance, the teen excitement, the authentic awkward teen moments, this helps the viewer overlook its limitations.

Raising Cain

Raising Cain (1992)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Brian De Palma

Starring: John Lithgow, Lolita Davidovich, Steven Bauer, Frances Sternhagen, Gregg Henry

From: Universal

Heck, why not start Spooky Season now? Especially when you unknowingly watch the Director’s Cut of Raising Cain… originally made by Dutch director Peet Gelderbrom-based on the original script-and so liked by De Palma, he had Shout Factory work w/ Gelderbrom to make an HD version for release on Blu. Don’t ask how I “have a copy” of the film & just realized after viewing which version it was. The reasons for me starting the season of spooky movies now-the earliest I’ve done so: 

* I never participate in Cinemonster’s annual Hooptober lists (this year will be the 13th installment!)

* There’s a competing challenge of watching 100 horror movies in 92 days that has already began

* On a messageboard (technically, it’s a Discord thread… but the thread used to be on a messageboard; long story) last night there was discussion of Brian De Palma. Someone watched Blow Out and wasn’t a fan; that was disappointing to hear. As others discussed which De Palma they liked the most… might as well check out something new to me. I’ll say more about my Halloween lists at the end so people don’t have to wait for discussion of the movie.

John Lithgow returning to the De Palma world to star in a psychological horror piece where he portrayed a child psychologist who has multiple personality disorder, is bonkers to begin with & goes haywire when discovering his wife Lolita Davidovich is having an affair… I was intrigued. Lithgow and his performance(s) ruled, but I have to note that Davidovich also did a swell job, especially in the opening act as she helped established what a weird, wacky movie this is. Truthfully, this is so odd, it might as well be an Italian movie from the 70’s or 80’s! That’s a compliment.

I won’t go into detail on why this is so weird aside from the multiple personality disorder aspect, except that at least in the Director’s Cut, the film made the viewer feel as if you were peering into the mind of Dr. Carter Nix & it felt like you had schizophrenia yourself. From research, the differences between this and the theatrical is mostly the order of several scenes. Naturally, the movie was shot well, had nice atmosphere (the San Francisco area), fine scares, dark humor, and a sweet score from Pino Donnagio. Raising Cain isn’t one I rate at the top of the director’s filmography; that said, the movie’s still pretty good.

Several reviews have compared this with Peeping Tom; that’s a film people will be GOBSMACKED I haven’t seen yet. That should be one I finally tackle by Halloween this year… the Psycho allusions were obvious, right from the opening credits to one scene blatantly lifted. In a few weeks, De Palma will turn 86. I hope he will live for years to come but you never know. What an entertaining filmmaker with all his genre films-sometimes trashy, sometimes not-that I usually at least like. Looking at the latter days of his career is a task for the future.

As always… whenever I do Spooky Season, the list won’t be posted publicly until it’s completed, around November 2. I watch whatever the heck I want. More so than typical, there are some ideas of what will be tackled; there might be the widest variety of films, shorts, cartoons, and what have you this time, but we’ll see.

Road Trip

Road Trip (2000)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Todd Phillips

Starring: Breckin Meyer, Seann William Scott, Paulo Costanzo, Amy Smart, DJ Qualls

From: Dreamworks

As sometimes occurs, a movie from my high school or college days was revisited for the first time in ages. This is from my college years; you can imagine the reaction Road Trip got when I was at a friend’s place in my hometown during college break-me and several other people of similar age greatly enjoyed the movie and its vulgar humor. I can’t even repeat the convo-it was as adult as the dialogue in the film-that was had after the scene at the sperm bank and whether “a certain technique” shown on camera was real… looking at Google now, evidently it is!

Road Trip is a silly film revolving around a sex tape and the titular road trip being taken to prevent the accidentally-mailed tape from being seen by a long-distance girlfriend. There are crass moments and topless women, although there’s also the uber-nerd DJ Qualls growing up & becoming more assertive. The lead quartet was entertaining-Breckin Meyer was fine as the lead-although the character portrayed by Seann William Scott was a clone of Steve Stifler.

I know this won’t be a popular take but even at the time I never understood the popularity of Tom Green; nobody better ever ask me to ever tackle Freddy Got Fingered… I wouldn’t watch that even if you gave me $10,000! In Road Trip, Green wasn’t as intolerable-and his role was only supporting-so that doesn’t ruin Road Trip. An opinion we will be more in harmony with: Andy Dick is a gigantic creep. He’s only in two scenes so that doesn’t ruin the film either. Thankfully, Fred Ward also has a supporting role.

Road Trip isn’t the best movie of its type; the movie & its humor is uneven. There are fat jokes but those were still popular at the time. Be that as it may, I was still entertained. The edgiest moments haven’t aged as horribly as the most controversial scenes in a picture like Revenge of the Nerds. I am relieved the film could still entertain me approximately a quarter-century after first viewing. The directorial career Todd Phillips had: this never could have been predicted by me at the time.

 

Mr. Wong, Detective

Mr. Wong, Detective (1938)

Runtime: 69 minutes... nice

Directed by: William Nigh

Starring: Boris Karloff, Grant Withers, Maxine Jennings, Evelyn Brent, George Lloyd

From: Monogram 

Why not view Boris Karloff in yellowface? In the past I’ve checked out both Warner Oland & Sidney Toler as Charlie Chan, along w/ Peter Lorre as Mr. Moto. Courtesy of low-budget B-movie purveyors (Monogram Pictures) I was expecting to see another Pacific Rim Asian character as a stereotypical wise man who uttered fortune cookie aphorisms & used the word “please” often.

In this first of several films in the series, this wasn’t really the stereotypes exhibited by the character James Lee Wong. I never can complain about the job Oland, Toler, Lorre, and now Karloff did in yellowface, as poorly as that has aged. Simon Dayton is a businessman (he owns a “Chemical Works” company) who has several people he has heat with; they’re all suspects after Dayton is found dead in his office. One stereotype that was present: there’s also a white police detective who has a churlish attitude-here, more so than usual-and is made to look a fool by his Asian counterpart.

Mr. Wong, Detective is one of many serious 30’s or 40’s low-budget mystery pictures which aren’t must-see yet are competent and watchable, featuring fine detective work & intrigue. This was the first which had a scene where because reasons, a scene involves a glassblower and he made a pipe with a globe on one end that would eventually be separated from the stem. At that point, though, it resembled… a giant meth pipe! No, I don’t use meth myself-I’ve just watched shows like Cops and Live PD in the past. 

Boris Karloff-the highlight of the movie, undoubtedly-sounded like standard Boris Karloff. That at least made the experience not as awkward. Who knows if I’ll ever check out another Mr. Wong picture; at least this initial installment was a decent watch.

 

Juice

Juice (1992)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Ernest R. Dickerson

Starring: Omar Epps, Tupac, Khalil Kain, Jermaine Hopkins, Cindy Herron

From: Paramount

Peer pressure steered me this way. I’ve never good about fulfilling requests in a timely manner (although in the next few months I will try harder to fulfill a few ones made months ago) but when a few people recommended this in the comments for my review of another Ernest R. Dickerson joint-Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight-I’d better fast-track this & make a viewing a priority. I'd have... gotten squeezed if there was a long delay. Juice was a movie I was glad to see. Some “Black movies” from the 90’s were viewed by myself (a dumb white guy) in the past... Boyz in the Hood and Menace II Society; it was nice to see one on the East Coast instead of the West Coast.

A quartet of teen male friends are followed in Harlem. They are a crew who don’t like going to school-instead, they visit pool halls, run a-foul of a Puerto Rican gang, and swipe LP’s from a record store. Omar Epps (Q) has aspirations to be a hit deejay; the other three don’t have such lofty ambitions yet. The opening is a hangout movie as we get to know the quartet; hints are dropped that once a major event occurs and things go wrong, one of the four shows their true colors. A classic film of the 40’s is a huge hint.

Juice was well-directed by Dickerson; impressive for a quality cinematographer making his feature-film debut. The quartet of leads (Omar Epps, Tupac, Khalil Kaid, Jermaine Hopkins), the first three made their acting debuts. They all performed well although a certain character was able to show menace and intimidation once the film shifts. Samuel L. Jackson had a small yet memorable role, and another acting newbie (Queen Latifah) did well in the few scenes she was in.

The world was unvarnished, a true-to-life examination that Black teens could have experienced in Harlem; the acquisition of a certain item caused someone to lash out and take revenge against others, or show their true colors. In addition, the hip hop score/soundtrack added texture to the experience. I don’t want to sound like a curmudgeon so I won’t elaborate on why I feel the rap songs here are MUCH better than modern rap. At least people like Big Daddy Kane, Naughty by Nature and Erik B. & Rakim didn’t use AI for all (or part) of an album, like Tyga just released.

No matter your race/ethnicity, anyone can enjoy Juice, especially if you’ve viewed such pictures like Boyz in the Hood and Menace II Society. This was a quality recommendation from several Letterboxd members, in other words.

Skyscraper

Skyscraper (1996)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Raymond Martino

Starring: Anna Nicole Smith, Richard Steinmetz, Charles M. Huber, Jonathan Fuller, Branko Cikatic

From: PM Entertainment

“This isn’t Dostoevsky!” A quote that I remember someone in the production made at the time of filming.

Yes, it was recent online chatter elsewhere which inspired me to view this motion picture on YouTube. I’ve mentioned PM Entertainment before; they were a direct to video outfit which was predicated on crazy explosions & even crazier stunts. The latter would equal or even eclipse what was seen in Hollywood productions of the era. The few I’ve witnessed were all cheesy yet a lot of fun. This is one of their most famous efforts, solely due to the lead: Anna Nicole Smith!

She is a helicopter pilot (!); the filmmakers did give the audience what they’d desire in an era where the Internet had not quite yet taken off: a gratuitous shower scene then a gratuitous sex scene involving Smith. She’s married to a cop who becomes involved in a case involving a suitcase MacGuffin; this leads to a hostage crisis they’re both involved with. Besides the sexy moments, there’s also shootouts, martial arts, a rocket launcher, and impressive stunts. It’s not the best I’ve seen in a PM picture yet still stands out from the CG action of the 21st century. 

Some of the acting you wouldn’t want to see in a Dostoevsky adaptation-not just from Anna Nicole. Speaking in a critical sense, Skyscraper is rather poor in terms of acting, logic, storytelling, fake accents, etc. Lord knows it’s an idiotic version of Die Hard. Yet, it can be fun for B-movie afficionados. This has Croatian kickboxer Branko Cikatic, after all-would you believe that both he and Smith were Associate Producers-men in leather pants & Anna Nicole in a shootout w/ Malibu from American Gladiators. It’s all inane yet it has enough action beats & hilariously bad moments to make this OK.

I never mention what YouTube channels I see films on but I will in this case. It was Crap Film Club, which also has the likes of a movie called Cybertracker 2 and Ninja Terminator, from GODFREY HO.

I'll Catch Up Tomorrow

The plan is for THREE reviews to be posted.

Survival Quest

Survival Quest (1989)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Don Coscarelli 

Starring: Lance Henriksen, Mark Rolston, Steve Antin, Dermot Mulroney, Catherine Keener

From: Starway International Inc.

RIP Reggie Bannister

Last night on Twitter I saw the news that the actor had passed away. He received hospice care at his home for almost a year and a half (!) and managed to hang on for this long. I’ve seen the first three Phantasm films and the fourth one is suddenly impossible to find online (at least legally) so instead I went with another Don Coscarelli joint, a survival film in the woods. Bannister’s role-a pilot-is small and only appears in the beginning then the end but I still wanted to inform people of his passing. I viewed this on YouTube; it’s a shame that AFAIK Survival Quest never made it to the HD era.

There are two pairs of survivalists out in the California woods. One is a group of teen boys led by a tyrannical leader who resembles ECW/WWE wrestler The Sandman but of course is the dude who played Drake in Aliens; it’s run like a paramilitary group full of brutal challenges. The other is much more laid-back-the titular Survival Quest-led by another Aliens alum, Lance Henriksen. The latter features such challenges as scaling a wall, climbing a rope wall, swinging on a rope, rock-climbing, hiking in the lovely woods, and other activities done together as a team. This includes a person on release from prison-Dermot Mulroney!-a bride-to-be, a gap-toothed Catherine Keener, & an elderly man. Naturally, the militaristic folks start trouble with Survival Quest. This was how Mulroney and Keener first met; they were married for years.

The movie doesn’t have too many surprises. Of course, “the convict” is standoffish at first but becomes more vocal and starts working w/ everyone else, there’s other conflicts between them, someone who struggles at first notably improves, worms are eaten… OK, that last bit wasn’t expected but it sure made me chuckle. Plenty of time is spent getting to know everyone as they deal with various challenges before the enemies go after them. The challenges the heroes went through even before they’re targeted are legit as they go through an ordeal climbing a mountain, for example. In the final act there’s no lack of thrills with the various stunts that occur or them otherwise trying to cheat death.

Survival Quest isn’t a must see, not the best survival thriller you’ll ever check out by any means. That said, hopefully one day a label like Vinegar Syndrome can restore the movie & give it the proper HD or even UHD treatment. There’s also some familiar B-movie faces-Brooke Bundy, Traci Lind-in roles big or small. As for Bannister, it’s a shame he passed away due to complications of both Lewy body dementia & Parkinson’s. I’ve heard he was a great dude at conventions so those illnesses are just awful. The Phantasm movies are quite weird & not for all tastes; however, it’s great that a dude like him who (to be frank) didn’t look like a movie star became beloved for starring in an idiosyncratic horror franchise as an ice cream vendor turned badass.

The Immigrant

This is a highly-regarded 1917 Charlie Chaplin silent short: 

Due to circumstances beyond my control, much of my time since yesterday afternoon had been taking up by other activities. At least I was able to check out a famous (and popular, at least in terms of the number who have watched it on Letterboxd) Chaplin short. Indeed, The Tramp is immigrating to the United States from Europe & saw the Statue of Liberty as the ship docked at Ellis Island in New York Harbor.

Even while attempting to fulfill The American Dream and the poignancy of seeing the Statue of Liberty at the end of the journey, Tramp of course found himself engaging in nonstop mischief on the ship that constantly rocked back & forth. Some of the trouble he stumbled into wasn’t even his fault. Meanwhile, he takes a shine to frequent co-star Edna Purviance; as the Tramp character was kind-hearted by this point, he performed a magnanimous gesture for them.

Even upon arriving in New York City, Tramp was a victim of circumstance & experiences trouble in a restaurant when a coin he found unwittingly fell out of his pocket. It’s a joint which literally beats you up if you’re short about 2 ½ dollars-adjusted for inflation.

As I expected, there’s the puns involving the intertitles, slapstick goodness, and absurd scenarios. There’s even a sad moment, which was unexpected in a Tramp short subject comedy but resulted in a rather sweet ending. The Immigrant has heart and that coinciding with this laughs made this worthwhile.

Losin' It

Losin' It (1982)

Runtime: 100 minutes

Directed by: Curtis Hanson (!)

Starring: Tom Cruise (!!), Jackie Earle Haley, John Stockwell, Shelley Long, John P. Navin, Jr.

From: Embassy

Here is an oddity. Somehow, Losin’ It is only a film only discovered by me recently. The director is Curtis Hanson (!), the star is Tom Cruise (!! This was his first leading role) and was shot by Gilbert Taylor (!!!! He was the cinematographer for the likes of Repulsion, Dr. Strangelove, and… STAR WARS, no lie) so I was genuinely curious about them what sounded like a sex comedy w/ 4 Southern California teens driving down to Tijuana in 1965 for a night of debauchery.

Yes there are boobs, a DONKEY SHOW (which isn’t shown on camera) and Jackie Earle Haley stuffs a rolled-up sock down the front of his white briefs but the movie is mild in comparison to something like Porky’s or Revenge of the Nerds. Cruise, Haley, and John Stockwell are high schoolers either 17 or 18 who head on down to the Mexican border town of Tijuana-just south of San Diego-for the type of sex-filled night most teenagers dream of. Because of circumstances, a 14-year-old named Wendell is also along—don’t worry, he isn’t part of the sexcapades and is only present to acquire fireworks as he’s a pure capitalist! Oh, and SHELLEY LONG is also along for part of this journey. Via more circumstances, she’s in their car to get a quickie divorce after she and her husband “had a row.”

Apparently any American should be wary of visiting Tijuana now; I understand the crime rates are extremely high and the Mexican cartels are heavily nested there. Back in ’65, though… some residents are happy to take advantage of dumb gringos; the characters portrayed by Haley and Stockwell are the jerks of the film so they are punished for their actions. Those concerned about moments that are horrifying by 2026 standards-Haley does slip what he believes is Spanish Fly in a woman’s drink. Spanish Fly is alleged to, ahem, “increase sexual desire” so YIKES at this version of dropping a roofie in a woman's drink. However, don’t worry, the movie is accurate in stating that Spanish Fly is an old wives’ tale and doesn’t work. In fact, he is punished for the gross action he attempted against an innocent woman.

Losin’ It is not overly vulgar nor does it have aspirations like a Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Be that as it may, the movie was still fine in my eyes. At least Wendell and Cruise’s character (WOODY) had a nice relationship resulting in his maturation. There are still wacky moments and OOT characters that are the foils for our leads. I understand why people wouldn’t like Losin’ It. Vulgar comedies aren’t for everyone, yet this is mild compared to a Revenge of the Nerds. At the same time, while I haven’t checked out Risky Business (yet), by repute that is a clearly better motion picture concerning a young Tom Cruise coming-of-age.

At the same time, even if many would likely grumble upon viewing this only to complete their own journey through the filmography of Cruise or Hanson… somehow I still liked this silly motion picture. If you’re brave or completing a filmography, don’t see the version Shout uploaded to YouTube. I skimmed through it only after watching it on Prime… boobs are blurred and among the laughs I had throughout, the biggest came from a literal piano player in a whorehouse. He created incredibly uncouth song lyrics for the crowd, none of which I can repeat here but were somewhat censored in the YouTube video. What a job to aspire to… entertain patrons downstairs in a Tijuana bar by singing crass songs while prostitution occurs upstairs and topless women are hanging out w/ you while you play!

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight (1995)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Ernest R. Dickerson

Starring: William Sadler, Jada Pinkett, Billy Zane, C.C.H. Pounder, Dick Miller

From: Universal

I am subscribed to Shudder again, and unlike last time, I wanted to see this film before it leaves the platform. Several years ago, Shudder had this and Bordello of Blood, but it was for only a month. You typically have to try and find what’s leaving Shudder elsewhere; it’s typically on Reddit, of all places. Before anyone asks, both this and Bordello are leaving August 31; the latter will be viewed later this month.

Demon Knight is a blast. William Sadler (who starred in the first Tales from the Crypt episode on TV; he also had the all-timer name FRANK BRAYKER for this motion picture) is chased by Billy Zane; the latter is in fact a demon looking for a specific item that has end-of-the-world consequences. After a fiery car crash, both are in a remote New Mexico town, at a church converted to a boarding house. Those two leads are awesome-Zane successfully blended menace, seduction, and humor-as were the supporting characters. This included Jada Pinkett (to use her name at the time), Dick Miller in a large supporting role (yay!), C.C.H. Pounder, Brenda Bakke, Charles Fleischer, and in what is now my favorite Thomas Haden Church role… his leather pants-adorned ROACH.

The film has funny moments that land, badass moments, practical effects, creatures, creative lore, graphic gore… this take won’t be popular yet ‘tis true that horror like Demon Knight is quite a bit preferable to much of the “popular” modern horror in the past 15 or so years. The film is never lit poorly despite the nighttime setting that’s the vast majority of the runtime-the pace never lags, and there’s even a nice score/soundtrack. The picture opens with a car chase set to Filter’s Hey Man Nice Shot; now that brought me back.

I never saw too many episodes of the 90’s HBO show Tales from the Crypt-as it’s on Shudder, perhaps I’ll check out some episodes without mentioning it on Letterboxd. The show adapted various stories from 50’s EC Comics, and not just from the Tales comic but other horror comics the company released. Demon Knight is a wholly original story but matched the series for including some laughs that coincided w/ the scares. The inclusion of wicked characters is also a trademark, regardless if there’s a supernatural presence.

It's a shame that Ernest R. Dickerson did not have more commercial success & did not direct more high-profile pictures. Still, at least among nerds like us, we can appreciate the Black cinematographer (for the likes of Spike Lee) turned director; both Demon Knight and Surviving the Game are greatly entertaining genre pictures.

 

Delirium

Delirium (1979)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Peter Maris

Starring: Turk Cekovsky, Debi Chaney, Terry Tenbroek, Bob Winters, Barron Winchester 

From: Delirium Associates/Worldwide Productions

How ironic for the plot of this film that a key supporting actor resembles Matt Gaetz*! I hate to bring up American politics as this can lead to trouble but that’s the crux of the plot to Delirium. I looked at the Eternal Family platform to see what they were playing on one of their 24/7 streaming channels. This had just begun. As the movie’s also available on Arrow’s platform, I went there to see it in full.

This regional filmmaking oddity (Missouri, in this case) concerns a Vietnam vet named Charlie that starts killing women, as two horndog police detectives-who like calling women “broads”-investigate. As the plot descriptions everywhere let the cat out of the bag, I’ll do the same. Charlie was hired by a secret organization which involves businessmen who wish to “clean up the streets” so ex-soldiers are tasked with targeting criminals that the legal system didn’t convict. At least such things couldn’t happen in real life… unfortunately for those vigilantes, Charlie has PTSD from ‘Nam and escaped from a mental health facility.

Yeah, this is low-budget to the max (there are ‘Nam flashbacks, where “Vietnam” is obviously the woods of Missouri, the acting is as uneven as you’d expect) yet how unique the plot was still intrigued. This mix of police procedural-styled after a 70’s cop TV show, to borrow a phrase-proto-slasher, and conspiracy thriller leans on the police procedural yet I eventually warmed up to those detectives—their behavior was just emblematic of the era. If it sounds like an uncompleted film was grafted onto a completely different new film… allegedly this was exactly the case.

The film went in some unexpected directions & always fascinated me, from the opening set at night with the city lights in the background, to the squibs, to the two cars exploding, to an astounding 1970’s flowery couch. There’s also the sleazy elements for some… topless women and a bit of gore. This landing on the infamous Video Nasty list is a little baffling as none of the gore was that gruesome.

A motion picture like Delirium will be more to my tastes than it will for many on Letterboxd. At least some will think of it no better than cheap, boring nonsense. Thankfully, this curio worked for me.

* For those not from the United States, Gaetz is a former member of Congress who resigned in disgrace due to allegations of heinous behavior made against him. He wasn’t convicted in a court of law but the Ethics Committee for Congress found evidence of this. Gaetz now has a radio show on a far-right platform.

Apache Drums

Apache Drums (1951)

Runtime: 75 minutes

Directed by: Hugo Fregonese

Starring: Stephen McNally, Coleen Gray, Willard Parker, Arthur Shields, James Griffith

From: Universal

A Western that (possibly) inspired Assault on Precinct 13 which isn’t Rio Bravo… sign me up!

Recently, a Letterboxd mutual reviewed this film and made this comparison. This was enough motivation to check out a film new to me in a genre I only dabble in occasionally. Stephen McNally is Sam, a gambler who is booted out of Spanish Boot due to his shooting of a man… even if it was in self-defense. The people of the town-some of whom are Welsh miners, believe it or not-are pious jerks who want to “clean up” even though many of them come off as irritating. The other “undesirables” include prostitutes and a Black servant. If it wasn’t for his love of Coleen Gray, I wouldn’t have blamed Sam if he thought, “The hell with Spanish Boot!” When even the town’s mayor despises you… as Gray’s Sally does live in the remote town, he returns to warn that the Apache are in the area.

Many people likely know by now that Assault was in essence a version of Rio Bravo. It’s unknown if Carpenter has ever commented on Apache Drums but the final half hour is straight fire. The Apache (none of whom were portrayed by Native Americans, as it’s still the 50’s. Instead, they were played by lifeguards from Santa Monica, no lie) do attack Spanish Boot, and the survivors are holed up in an adobe church with windows high up on the walls, making it much easier for the Apache to jump in than the townspeople to see this threat beforehand.

This was a Val Lewton production… his last before passing away due to ill health at the age of only 46. Befitting of a film produced by the horror maestro, he final act has its share of suspenseful, atmospheric moments. Often, the titular drums pounded different rhythms in the background, reminding the viewer of the unseen yet ever-present threat. The final act elevated the film and rose above its B-movie origins. There’s also fine action beats and a few memorable supporting characters, especially the Welsh reverend portrayed by Arthur Shields. Like with George Sanders and Tom Conway, I was wondering why Shields and Barry Fitzgerald seemed so similar. A “duh” on my part… like w/ Sanders & Conway, Shields & Fitzgerald were brothers.

Regardless if this film inspired a 70’s B-movie classic, Apache Drums was an enjoyable Western. As mentioned by me before, the Western milieu can be used to incorporate many different genres & ideas. This includes variations of “a long intense attempted siege.” As has been for almost a full year as of now, a pristine print can be found on YouTube; the Technicolor and the cinematography makes it look grand.

Looker

Looker (1981)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Michael Crichton

Starring: Albert Finney, Susan Dey, James Coburn, Leigh Taylor-Young, Tim Rossovich

From: The Ladd Company

Featuring the 1981 versions of deepfakes, AI, CGI, LOOKSMAXXING, algorithms, and THE DISCOMBOBULATOR

Looker and its basic plot-Albert Finney as a Beverly Hills plastic surgeon becomes involved in a case where he attempts to protect Susan Dey as several models who appear in TV commercials who came to his office to have microscopic changes done to their bodies end up dead & she’s next on the list-has been known to me for years yet it was just last night that the motivation hit to press “play.”

Indeed, Finney attempts to protect Dey as he discovers a scenario straight out of a 70’s paranoid conspiracy thriller. Not to reveal too much but the film says plenty about advertising, television, beauty, and what were still prevalent fears over computers and how their computing powers could go horribly awry. A quibble or two could be made—even then I had a pretty good time with Looker.

An unfortunate aspect is that with its messages, re: advertising, technology, AI and CGI, Looker unfortunately hasn’t lost the relevancy in its themes. The scenario concocted by the villains (Digital Matrix, Inc.) could happen today… if it hasn’t already. I’ll take off my tinfoil hat and note that while there sadly was studio interference-the end product wasn’t always coherent… James Coburn as lead villain in particular wasn’t happy with how many of his scenes were cut-& the movie flopped, I was entranced nonetheless.

I never thought the word “looksmaxxing” would be uttered by me on Letterboxd-that does describe the ghastly trend of some Gen-Z influencer D-bags talking about women in a quantitative sense. There’s an interesting weapon used often which allows for creative action setpieces. It’s not quite the “discombobulator” uttered by <redacted> in terms of the capture of Maduro in Venezuela but is still a fascinating idea for a futuristic weapon in a fictional world. I also enjoyed the cast, including Tim Rossovich as a henchman w/ a tremendous moustache. No lie, he was credited as MOUSTACHE MAN.

Looker isn’t the best work from Crichton especially after the studio interference. However, as someone who noted how the ideas of the future sometimes came true-even if how they came true wasn’t accurate-and can appreciate interesting synth scores/city backdrop sets that are seen outside of windows… conceivably I was destined to enjoy Looker.

 

Dead Man's Eyes

Dead Man’s Eyes (1944)

Runtime: 64 minutes

Directed by: Reginald LeBorg

Starring: Lon Chaney, Jr., Jean Parker, Acquanetta, Paul Kelly, Thomas Gomez

From: Universal

ACQUANETTA is a much better name than AWKWAFINA

After a needed day off from watching cinema on Sunday, this entry in the Inner Sanctum series played on the Universal Monsters streaming channel (found on the likes of Pluto TV) last night. I’ll copy and paste what I wrote concerning that brief series from Universal from my review of Calling Dr. Death, written two years ago:

“This includes the Inner Sanctum series done by Universal, based on a radio show that in turn was based on a series of novels. The studio made a sextet of low-budget mystery movies under the name, all starring (Lon Chaney, Jr.) as a respite from all the horror he frequently did at the time.

The opening was a random disembodied head in a crystal ball giving an introduction. I understand this was a constant in the series; The Cryptkeeper wasn’t the first to do such a thing by any means.”

Dead Man’s Eyes concerns Lon as painter David Stuart (that’s Stuart; he’s not in the Eurythmics!) who has an exotic lady known as Acquanetta-yes, that’s what the actor billed herself as; it’s not a character name-as his subject. She apparently has the hots for him but he’s going out with Jean Parker. Stuart accidentally blinds himself; Acquanetta’s Tanya takes the blame-long story, and also women be crazy, right? Let’s be frank here: homeboy David kept a bottle of his eyewash right next to an almost identical-looking bottle of eye-destroying acid together by the sink in his apartment! Before he was blinded, Stuart should have looked in the mirror above the sink at himself for such a baffling decision.

He doesn’t take the blinding well; to be frank, his character is a jerk, especially after the accident. At least that allows Chaney to ACT, mainly by yelling. There’s romantic entanglements and the absurdity of a blind man killing his girl’s father so he could have dad’s eyes. A wacky B-movie, this was. This picture barely over an hour long is not really a revenge tale that you might presume-Eyes is still a fine, watchable mystery even if complaints that some reviewers have, re: the acting are valid. Like in Dr. Death, we hear Chaney’s internal monologue a few times. Unlike that movie, it isn’t whispered, robbing us of another LON CHANEY, JR. ASMR film.

Another frank admission: Acquanetta’s life story sounds more fascinating than Dead Man’s Eyes. After all, she may have been born Mildred Davenport in Pennsylvania, she claimed to be born Burnu Acquanetta in Wyoming, but no one knows for certain what name’s on her birth certificate. We don’t even know her ethnicity. She may have been Native American, Hispanic, Black, or perhaps some combination of those. She’s a performer most don’t know or have forgotten yet it’s crazy her origin is such a mystery.

 

Go

Go (1999)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Doug Liman

Starring: An ensemble cast including Sarah Polley, Katie Holmes, Taye Diggs, Jay Mohr, Scott Wolf, & William Fichtner

From: Columbia 

This review is being posted a day late; my bad.

Would you believe this was a first-time-watch for me? There’s no good explanation here; I was at the age of 18 when this released in ’99, after all. My subscription to Netflix ending in a few days + someone elsewhere having also watched this for the first time recently meant that going with Go was long overdue.

Those that were as in the dark as me, many specifics will be avoided. The action begins when supermarket cashier Sarah Polley-desperate for quick cash to avoid eviction on Christmas Day-steps in to do a drug deal w/ Timothy Olyphant. Things of course go awry; then, the film goes in different directions but it all eventually leads back to this main throughput.

I’m glad Sarah Polley transitioned well into a directing career; still, it’s a surprise her acting career did not have more sustained success. The cast is stacked, full of familiar faces—everyone from Katie Holmes and William Fichtner to Jay Mohr & Taye Diggs. The plot always intrigues as the tale is told non-linear, the characters become involved in absurd OOT scenarios & encounter no shortage of criminals and bad people in general. The segment in a famous American city made me laugh the most although I am sure many would disagree. I can’t call it the “best” section.

The movie felt like something from the late 90’s/early 2000’s. That is no insult; this is when I changed from a teenager to a young adult + entertaining from this era totally felt like no other. The film is one of MANY that were “inspired” by Tarantino during this era. It stands out from most of those due to its story, the dialogue, the flashy visuals, and the strong cast. That brought me back, as did the soundtrack. There was more than one song I hadn’t even thought of in years, let alone heard.

Considering my low opinion of many modern movies, it’d feel fresh now if there was a return of motion pictures such as Go. Perhaps for that reason it was good I never gave this a shot at the time.

Dark Ride

Dark Ride (2006)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Craig Singer

Staring: Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Patrick Renna, David Clayton Rogers, Alex Solowitz, Andrea Bogart

From: Lionsgate 

Does everyone else remember After Dark Horrorfest? Yesterday, a discussion about this was held between me and a Letterboxd mutual in the comment section of a review. From 2006 to 2008, then 2010 then 2015, Lionsgate would distribute independent horror films theatrically in a group of 8 at the same time. After the fact I saw Dying Breed (a bad movie), Frontier(s), an insufferable movie I hated but many seem to like, and this was how Lake Mungo debuted in the United States. That film is only OK in my eyes. However, this of all films was the only one I saw theatrically. Yeah, shame on me for not checking out more on the big screen… perhaps it would have lasted longer then. I was gonna wait to revisit but the person I was talking with recommended a pair of After Dark movies which can be watched during Spooky Season.

The reason WHY this was a theatrical experience was forgotten long ago. After an opening where a pair of twin girls were murdered on the titular dark ride in Asbury Park, New Jersey back in ’89, the rest of the film is college asstagonists on their way to New Orleans for Spring Break but via circumstances, end up at the dark ride a few nights before it reopens while riding in their 70’s van. Yes, it opened again even after those murders done by a serial killer. This killer escapes from the mental health facility; this is one of many familiar horror plot points. The killer as a vegetarian (!) at least gives him Vegan Points which some will appreciate…

The two names in the cast: Jamie-Lynn Sigler and Patrick Renna. The latter is not only implied to be on the spectrum (although that doesn’t explain how he is handed a condom and DOESN’T KNOW WHAT IT IS) but the film’s “humor” is that he loves making movie references to the disgust of his buddies—everything from Cimino’s Heaven’s Gate and Midnight Cowboy to The Deer Hunter & Psycho. I hope Renna’s character does NOT resemble anyone on Letterboxd reading this review!

Note that those goofs decide to spend the night at the dark ride so they don’t have to pay for a motel-no, really. Before the killer targets them, expect plenty of putrid dialogue, humor that usually doesn’t land well-if at all-and buffoonish behavior—including someone taking ‘shrooms while they’re driving. Now, the unnamed dark ride itself was pretty cool; I have no info on if it was an actual ride or not. All I know is that they filmed at the Santa Monica pier in California.

There are gory kills early on-the girls then the disorderly orderlies in the mental health facility-yet it is a LONG time before our villain starts going after the asstagonists to deliver more bloody deaths; while the movie doesn’t look bad visually (including the occasional use of bold colors) the plot and characters just stink so the ride isn’t an enjoyable experience.

Actual spooky dark rides are FAR more entertaining than Dark Ride. Watch 2018’s Hell Fest if you want to see a small segment of a horror movie devoted to a dark ride (I like it more than most but it’s undoubtedly better than this film)-heck, Tobe Hooper’s The Funhouse is far more fun if you want a carnival sort of setting. Plenty of time is spent w/ the characters--they were far more interesting than the tools here. I can’t even recommend this to the gorehounds.

I’ll be happy in the future to recommend a film from the After Dark Horrorfest; to reiterate, at least two are expected to be viewed in the upcoming months.