Olivia

Olivia (1983)

Runtime: 82 minutes

Directed by: Ulli Lommel

Starring: Suzanna Love, Robert Walker, Jr., Jeff Winchester, Bibbe Hansen, Amy Robinson

From: Ambassador/New West

I was sold on this as “Ulli Lommel does De Palma” and that was the case. In the past I scoffed at Lommel as a director, due to how worthless his 21st century output was, according to popular opinion. However, the 1980’s-when he was married to DuPont heiress Suzanna Love-were a different story. I say it was her that made him not a bad director.

Like w/ De Palma, Olivia was obviously inspired by Hitchcock, only this was much sleazier than what Hitch was allowed to show. The opening scene is the titular Olivia (at the age of FIVE) viewing her prostitute mother in London through a keyhole-now, I know this is a director’s trope!-servicing her Johns, including an S&M creep that accidentally kills Mom during a sex game gone wrong. Fifteen years later, Olivia secretly walks the street herself as her husband is a pillock. There she meets Robert Walker, Jr.-which is hilarious casting-and has an affair.

In this sordid tale that also featured steamy explicit sex scenes, sexual assault and exhibitionism, would you believe that this is an alternate history where the old London Bridge was moved to Lake Havasu City, Arizona in the 80’s instead of 1971. You see, Walker is an American in London who was responsible for the relocation of the bridge instead of American entrepreneur Robert P. McCullough. The first half is set in London, the rest in Lake Havasu City. The Hitchcock references are that adult Olivia hears the voice of her dead Mummy and… well, I won’t spoil the obvious movie the film was “inspired” by, except that De Palma made his version before 1983.

Yes, the movie is improbable nonsense at best, even if it was evidently inspired by a Guy de Maupassant story not named in the flick’s Wiki article. No surprise that this was a movie released by Vinegar Syndrome in 2020 & was viewed on the esoteric streaming service Eternal Family. As odd as the story was, Olivia was still amusing trash that possessed dream-like vibes. I can’t rate this as highly as some-one issue is that the Hitch film this rips off is not one I love like everyone else does.

A rather unique quirk is that Olivia can open a bottle cap with just her teeth-sounds like a veiled reference to some sort of oral fixation to me! In any event, this product that also has giallo vibes was at least something different, whether it be at the time or now. Love was charming as the title character. The creepy score from Joel Goldsmith (yes, Jerry’s son) was an asset.

One final note: this did come out before the infamous 1985 TV movie Bridge Across Time, also involving the relocated London Bridge, and Jack the Ripper somehow resurrecting a century later, starring DAVID HASSELHOFF… no, not as Jack! Perhaps that will be viewed sometime in the far-flung future; even if bad, hopefully it’d be hysterically so.