Dynamite

Dynamite (1929)

Runtime: 127 minutes

Directed by: Cecil B. DeMille

Starring: Conrad Nagel, Kay Johnson, Charles Bickford, Julia Faye, Joel McCrea

From: MGM

Dynamite was incredibly creaky, but as it’s Cecil B. DeMille so the movie was still a blast. I’ve seen some oddball early “talkie” movies from DeMille-others were stranger but that’s not to downplay the peculiarities of Dynamite.

I’ll note this for those interested in the cinema of the late 20’s through the 30’s. Early yesterday evening I found a 4K upload of Dynamite on a YouTube channel-hopefully that can easily be found via search-featuring many 4K streams of films even I hadn’t heard of but the assumption is that those films won’t be as obscure to them & in fact, they might find something that’s on their watchlist. 

Right after we see coal miner HAGON DERK be sentenced to hang-much to the consternation of his younger sister, still a girl-we are met with rich socialite Kay Johnson being told she HAS to marry to inherit her grandfather’s fortune, per the terms of his will. She is an independent woman (which unfortunately is treated badly by the movie due to some beliefs that thankfully are long out of date) and besides, she is engaged to a dude… who is already married to another lady.

The rest won’t be a detailed synopsis. You’ll probably surmise how Derk first met Cynthia Crothers. Instead, I’ll mention brief snippets. 

There’s the likes of: 

* A booze-fueled party among snobby rich people best described as a bacchanal. Note that of course this was still the era of Prohibition. The drinks are so spicy, literal steam is shown coming from the glasses.

* Catty dialogue between two ladies.

* A talking parrot.

* Bath salts… no, not the drugs you find in Florida!

* There’s an actual canary in the coal mine.

* The realization from me that a Three Stooges short (In the Sweet Pie and Pie, from ‘41) was heavily “inspired” by the main plot thread from Dynamite. Unlike this film, that one has a pie fight which served as a classic conclusion.

* Of course, the socialite doesn’t even have one clue, re: the simple act of cooking a meal. For comedy’s sake, I’d love to see any of the Kardashian/Jenner offspring attempt to prepare a meal.

* The third act does go in some bold directions, and there’s a heroic sacrifice. 

While there are better DeMille films from even this era, Cecil’s first talkie was still a melodrama (albeit one that was and did feel long at a bit over 2 hours) that featured memorable moments, especially during the final act. In the upcoming years, I’ll view more work from DeMille; it’s about time I see at least one of his silents. He made many of those & I know at least a few have survived/are not difficult to track down.

Mortal Kombat II

Mortal Kombat II (2026)

65% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 153 reviews)

Runtime: 116 minutes

Directed by: Simon McQuoid

Starring: Several returning characters, plus the likes of Karl Urban, Adeline Rudolph, and Martyn Ford

From: New Line Cinema

“The best Mortal Kombat theatrical film” isn't the highest hurdle to clear yet as a casual fan who pumped some quarters into the arcade machine a few times as a kid and played some of the games at home-and never saw any of the animated movies-I believe this to be the case. That is despite II possessing more than one modern movie-making sin-this was not a flawless victory-including yes, language. Those moments left me shaking my head like a disappointed parent!

Despite this and more universal complaints such as “lighting” and “color grading”, II was still a pretty good time. There is a tournament which does tie in w/ end-of-the-world stakes, which was a better way to utilize a multitude of different characters than the terrible Mortal Kombat: Annihilation did... surprisingly, viewing the two 90's films beforehand was a wise idea. This film's Shao Kahn was FAR better than the dork character in Annihilation.

The film had several subplots that coincided w/ the main thread of young warrior Katana, captured by Kahn as a child after he conquered her world & killed the rest of her royal family. The tournament will determine if Kahn will enter “Earth Realm” and destroy our world. Several characters from the first return, including Cole Young. However, the highlight for me: Karl Urban as Johnny F'ing Cage. The martial artist turned faded washed-up Hollywood action star was a loser at first-before he went on a Hero's Journey.

The film had interesting settings, a cool score, action that typically satisfied, and perhaps most importantly for franchise fans: OOT gory fatalities that were amazingly gruesome. For those that were like me and never saw the 2021 reboot after the initial theatrical experience and relied on the good old Wikipedia Refresher, a few flashbacks occurred which helped the viewer recall key points from the first that would be relevant again in the sequel.

What a relief it is that a modern theatrical film which generally has had a good reception is one where I liked it as much as the general consensus, if not a little more. I've heard conflicting reports, re: the box office returns so far & if they're “disappointing.” Hopefully there are future installments, with any luck ones that are as entertaining as II was.

Mortal Kombat Annihilation

Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997)

Runtime: 95 agonizing minutes

Directed by: John R. Leonetti

Starring: Robin Shou, Talisa Soto, James Remar, Sandra Hess, Brian Thompson

From: New Line Cinema

This was as bad as I always heard! Movies I suspect will be poor aren’t viewed as often as they were in the past; they at least make even OK to fine motion pictures look better in comparison. The 1995 Mortal Kombat-for example-was far more enjoyable than Annihilation.

The story is the biggest Achilles’ Heel; it is utter bollocks that is an illogical mess, changes franchise lore, shoehorns in all the characters from Mortal Kombat 3 in the most inelegant way possible, contains putrid dialogue, and is not an enjoyable motion picture to partake in as a result. The replacements for the cast (only Robin Shou and Talisa Soto returned) are fine, I suppose… the plot is just impossible to give a darn about. Another fatal flaw: the villains are 1/100 as intimidating or memorable as Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa in the first movie.

Without a doubt, the CG and how horribly it has aged could be roasted by me as well—how visually-unpleasant those effects were even took me aback. At the same time, other movies around the time had a similar issue and many people at the time likely would have done better if the technology of the time and budget would have better matched their ambition… plus, if rumors mentioned on sites like Reddit and a random Letterboxd reviewer are anything to go by-of course, I can’t confirm or deny these allegations-the CG was rushed & unfinished! If true, those involved w/ that aspect will be looked at by me w/ a less-critical eye.

Mortal Kombat Annihilation was so unsatisfying as a motion picture, the viewer never received another live-action theatrical film until about quarter-century later. Yeah, it’s neat that they filmed in different exotic locations (such as the country of Jordan) and the period soundtrack was cool. However, that was not enough for this awful film, featuring a hogwash story concerning “the merging of two realms” that featured stakes best described as “feeling inconsequential.” No matter my opinion of Mortal Kombat II, the quality of the finished product will be superior to that of Annihilation.

 

Mortal Kombat (The Original)

Mortal Kombat (1995)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: Paul W.S. Anderson

Starring: Robin Shou, Linden Ashby, Brigitte Wilson-Sampras, Christopher Lambert, Talisa Soto, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa

From: New Line Cinema

Yes, this is prep for me checking out Mortal Kombat II sometime in the next few days. I have played some of the games on console, put some quarters in the arcade machine, and saw the 2021 MK; a die-hard fan is not a category I belong in. That’s why this is a first-time viewing.

Even I can admit the threadbare plot, the CG which at least is funny-bad, and goofy moments shoehorned in. Filmmaking in general has changed so much in the three decades since release that I can praise PAUL W.S. ANDERSON for filming on real sets, lighting and using the proper color in scenes, editing, the filming of the action scenes, blocking, & visually stunning images, yet that’s the state we’re at now. Of course, filming in scenic Thailand was a feast for the eyes.

The 1995 Mortal Kombat is silly nonsense where the martial arts ain’t always spectacular-to say the least-yet to the film’s credit they still presented much of what the viewer wanted: the recognizable characters interacting with each other as they fight in a big tournament. The PG-13 rating is the big detail that will hang in the craw of many, although considering that as a kid I remember how HUGE the controversy was concerning the OOT gore of the fatalities in the game, not presenting those in the movie I reckon was the right decision for the time. Otherwise, they said “the lines” and featured trademark moments from each fighter.

It was always nice seeing the likes of Christopher Lambert (or CHRISTOPHE LAMBEAR, to present how his name is pronounced); arguably, Robin Shou and undoubtedly Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa-a belated RIP to him-were the highlights. Also delightful was the period score and soundtrack, especially the techno theme that’s still iconic today.

Heaven knows the movie isn’t immune to valid criticism. At the same time, those that even have some familiarity w/ the property might be charmed by the film. Me, I can appreciate that the lead was a Pacific Rim Asian man born in Hong Kong, the statuesque Brigitte Wilson-Sampras did her own stunts, and Linden Ashby as the egotistical Johnny Cage learned practiced some martial arts disciplines for the part. I’m sure the movie looks even better when compared w/ Mortal Kombat: Annihilation…

 

Olivia

Olivia (1983)

Runtime: 82 minutes

Directed by: Ulli Lommel

Starring: Suzanna Love, Robert Walker, Jr., Jeff Winchester, Bibbe Hansen, Amy Robinson

From: Ambassador/New West

I was sold on this as “Ulli Lommel does De Palma” and that was the case. In the past I scoffed at Lommel as a director, due to how worthless his 21st century output was, according to popular opinion. However, the 1980’s-when he was married to DuPont heiress Suzanna Love-were a different story. I say it was her that made him not a bad director.

Like w/ De Palma, Olivia was obviously inspired by Hitchcock, only this was much sleazier than what Hitch was allowed to show. The opening scene is the titular Olivia (at the age of FIVE) viewing her prostitute mother in London through a keyhole-now, I know this is a director’s trope!-servicing her Johns, including an S&M creep that accidentally kills Mom during a sex game gone wrong. Fifteen years later, Olivia secretly walks the street herself as her husband is a pillock. There she meets Robert Walker, Jr.-which is hilarious casting-and has an affair.

In this sordid tale that also featured steamy explicit sex scenes, sexual assault and exhibitionism, would you believe that this is an alternate history where the old London Bridge was moved to Lake Havasu City, Arizona in the 80’s instead of 1971. You see, Walker is an American in London who was responsible for the relocation of the bridge instead of American entrepreneur Robert P. McCullough. The first half is set in London, the rest in Lake Havasu City. The Hitchcock references are that adult Olivia hears the voice of her dead Mummy and… well, I won’t spoil the obvious movie the film was “inspired” by, except that De Palma made his version before 1983.

Yes, the movie is improbable nonsense at best, even if it was evidently inspired by a Guy de Maupassant story not named in the flick’s Wiki article. No surprise that this was a movie released by Vinegar Syndrome in 2020 & was viewed on the esoteric streaming service Eternal Family. As odd as the story was, Olivia was still amusing trash that possessed dream-like vibes. I can’t rate this as highly as some-one issue is that the Hitch film this rips off is not one I love like everyone else does.

A rather unique quirk is that Olivia can open a bottle cap with just her teeth-sounds like a veiled reference to some sort of oral fixation to me! In any event, this product that also has giallo vibes was at least something different, whether it be at the time or now. Love was charming as the title character. The creepy score from Joel Goldsmith (yes, Jerry’s son) was an asset.

One final note: this did come out before the infamous 1985 TV movie Bridge Across Time, also involving the relocated London Bridge, and Jack the Ripper somehow resurrecting a century later, starring DAVID HASSELHOFF… no, not as Jack! Perhaps that will be viewed sometime in the far-flung future; even if bad, hopefully it’d be hysterically so.

Rage

Rage (1995)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Joseph Merhi

Starring: Gary Daniels, Kenneth Tigar, Peter Jason, Fiona Hutchison, Mark Metcalf

From: PM Entertainment Group

My return to the world of PM Entertainment Group was LONG overdue, although not as long as my knowledge-thanks to a messageboard thread-that British martial artist turned actor Gary Daniels had a trilogy of worthwhile direct to video films in the 90’s: Rage, Recoil, and Riot. They share nothing in common aside from the star, studio, and titles starting with “R.”

The plot is hogwash concerning a right-wing militia, evil cops, and a corrupt tech company who experiment on illegal Mexican immigrants to create a “super soldier”-insert your own comments if you wish! “Limey” Daniels (portraying a 2nd grade teacher) becomes involved solely because one of the Mexicans carjacked him and he’s a ripped dude. There’s the hero, his friends, the villains, and a television reporter who is one of the few that believes our hero is innocent.

The plot and characters-even the one portrayed by Peter Jason for a few scenes-are as deep as a puddle but that’s irrelevant for B-movie fans. Daniels is a Man on the Run and this allows for an onslaught of action scenes. PM Entertainment Group focused on this aspect, specifically giving stuntmen & stunt coordinators steady work by presenting OOT beats where you swear that those stuntmen were maimed or killed on screen.

Rage featured: Defenestrations, more broken glass than in Another 48 Hrs., kicks, punches, gunfights, squibs, people hanging off helicopters, people hanging off of skyscrapers, explosions, a dominatrix (!) and two wild stunts. The first is an original Chevy Blazer corkscrewing in the air as it launched over a semi on its side as it explodes. Even more brain-melting is that when a school bus hits a tanker truck head-on, a stuntman standing on top of the truck is lit on fire and flies through the air, out of control!

The stunts are impressive even compared with what was seen in Hollywood at the time. Motion pictures like this are naturally only appealing to a niche audience-thankfully I’m part of that crowd. The finale’s setting of “90’s mall” is expressly pleasing for an Old Man like myself.

The Ghost of Frankenstein

The Ghost of Frankenstein (1942)

Runtime: 67 minutes

Directed by: Erle  C. Kenton

Starring: Cedric Hardwicke, Ralph Bellamy, Lionel Atwill, Lon Chaney, Jr., Bela Lugosi

From: Universal 

The Monster was Ygor’s Ride or Die…

For the first time since this past fall, I viewed a movie on the streaming channel Universal Monsters, which can be found on platforms like Pluto TV. In the past, I’ve viewed the third movie in Universal’s Frankenstein franchise (Son of Frankenstein) and the fifth (Frankenstein vs. The Wolf Man) so it was overdue for me to close the loop by checking out this, the fourth.

The people of the village are still miffed about the impact of Frankenstein and his son & all the trouble they’ve caused. His castle is destroyed but because circumstances, Ygor has been obsessed w/ the corpse of The Monster and it is suddenly revived. Conveniently, there is ANOTHER son of Henry Frankenstein that is a scientist; it does not take much cajoling to convince Ludwig Frankenstein-including a ghostly apparition from his late father-that The Monster needed a new brain; at least that’s a logical step to take in this universe.

Ghost is flawed and not as good as the first three in the franchise; nitpicks could be made, including the obvious inclusion of a little girl in an attempt to humanize The Monster. That said, the movie was still a good time between the cast, the sets, the mood, the atmosphere, the interesting musical score, and the love that Ygor has for The Monster, which isn’t necessarily reciprocated.

Lon Chaney, Jr. replaced Boris Karloff as The Monster; he was fine, but naturally wasn’t iconic in the role like the man whose shoes he attempted to fill. With the right expectations going in, you may also feel that The Ghost of Frankenstein is fine.