Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes (1953)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Howard Hawks

Starring: Jane Russell, Marilyn Monroe, Charles Coburn, Elliott Reid, Tommy Noonan

From: 20th Century Fox

Marilyn Monroe was born on June 1, 1926; there was no better movie for me to pay tribute to a star still iconic today. I've already viewed & reviewed Some Like it Hot & The Asphalt Jungle in the past; when TCM played this last night, why not see a Howard Hawks movie new to me? He didn't direct the musical scenes but the film as a whole is solid, despite musical comedies not being my forte.

Monroe and Jane Russell (no relation) are pals who nevertheless are quite different from each other. One example is that Marilyn has a beau, despite the beau's father objecting, believing she's after his money. As she swoons over an old rich dude nicknamed PIGGY due to his owning a diamond mine, her future father-in-law hired a private eye to track her... the PI falls for Russell's character.

There are catchy songs-the presumption is that there aren't many tunes out there written about Little Rock, Arkansas!-funny moments, amusing characters, and the lead two dames never not looking stunning on screen. It was easy to fall for both women & their characters, although the focus was on Monroe, whose star was rising. What a spotlight that was shone on her.

For those not familiar, this is the film w/ the legendary scene where Marilyn wore that long pink dress and sang Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend. What a number that is: many participants, including various women suspended on the ceiling as a chandelier or on the ground as candelabras. This routine both looked & sounded impressive.

While this normally isn't in my wheelhouse, I was still entertained by Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. This was a nice platform for the talents of Ms. Monroe. I'm glad that many around the world celebrated this particular anniversary yesterday. For all her personal demons and her death that forever will be clouded w/ mystery, movies like this demonstrate why even in 2026, millions are still fans of the lady born Norma Jeane Mortenson.

Do or Die

Do or Die (1991)

Runtime: 97 minutes

Directed by: Andy Sidaris

Starring: The usual Sidaris players, plus the likes of Erik Estrada... and PAT MORITA!

From: Malibu Bay Films 

Featuring:

Temu John Stamos
Temu William Zabka
Pandora Peaks
PAT MORITA giving a naked lady a shiatsu massage
This lady then massaged Morita and GAVE HIM A BONER. Thankfully in this case, this was told rather than shown
Cajun music
Model airplanes
A cat death, unfortunately
Exploding baseballs

This sure was an Andy Sidaris movie. I haven’t seen all of his films (nor do I want to) but it’s been ages since one has been peeped, and I was curious to see a former Oscar nominee in Morita as the villain in one of his pictures.

Morita is a heel who wishes to kill the “legendary” duo of Dona Spier and Roberta Vasquez, but he wants it to be “a challenge” so various teams of assassins target the pair throughout. This is as complex as the plot becomes. The lead women are assisted by several pals, including Erik Estrada-in a different role than the one he had in the last Sidaris picture, Guns-Peaks, series regular Edy Stark, and the Great Value actors & Temu Stamos-another Abilene in the Sidaris Cinematic Universe who can’t shoot a gun straight.

Morita had an incredibly easy gig; after the opening scene by the Hawaiian beach, he hung out w/ that young Asian lady as they gave each other massages, sat around, stood around, and were in bed together. Speaking of that, the film has several gratuitous sex scenes, including one w/ Estrada! The action is alright; nothing will top the insanity of the action beats in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, although at least there are some nice explosions.

Ultimately, the viewer should have the right expectations with an Andy Sidaris film. In a Pre-Internet era, poppycock like Do or Die gave viewers of a certain demographic what they yearned for: easy access to T&A, not to mention cheesy action. Concerning Pandora Peaks, she later had a documentary made about her… by Russ Meyer! I’m happy that Meyer and Sidaris have only two degrees of separation. Self-reminder: see more movies from Russ Meyer.

 

Vagabond

Vagabond (Sans Toit Ni Loi) (1985)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Agnes Varda

Starring: Sandrine Bonnaire, Macha Meril, Stephane Freiss, Setti Ramdane, Francis Balchere

From: A few different European companies

I don’t have to ask: everyone will be APPALLED that this is my first Agnes Varda picture. Of course, the gender of a director bears no impact on what films I’ve seen. Many of the “popular” modern films from women haven’t been seen due to a lack of interest but various old genre film directed by females have been reviewed before. As she’s a highly-regarded director and I felt bad when Godard was an A-hole to her soon before they both passed away in recent years… about time a film from Varda was reviewed.

Vagabond was selected due to its availability on the Criterion Channel and the plot description. The opening is a lady named Mona found dead in a ditch at a vineyard. The rest of the picture is a flashback which reveal the last few weeks of her life. The keystone detail to note: the opinions of Mona are only framed via the opinions of a panoply of different people she encounters as those people addressed the camera directly, rather than any opinions that Mona expressed herself. How much of their recollections are accurate and aren’t an unreliable narrator is up to interpretation.

Vagabond by design is not an easy watch between the spiraling downfall of the main character, the manner in which she’s treated, and her own obvious faults that make her flawed at best, quite unlikable at worst. That said, Mona was a fascinating character, brought to life excellently by Sandrine Bonnaire. Buttressed by solid turns from the rest of the cast, confident direction from Varga, a violin-driven score from Joanna Bruzdowicz made this a worthwhile journey even if the protagonist is one who yearned to be free-her backstory is presented during one segment-and her slow, inevitable downfall is a sad journey.

In the future, I’ll see more from Agnes Varda-some mutuals noted that this movie felt atypical for her-and eventually, my first Chantal Akerman will be experienced. One Varda I know of has the English title KUNG-FU MASTER! Besides that not being a direct translation of its original French title, it’s a bizarre reference to the old 80’s arcade game in a movie that only is tangentially related to said arcade game and is a twisted romantic drama instead of a martial arts or action picture.

 

Squirm

Squirm (1976)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Jeff Lieberman

Starring: Don Scardino, Patricia Pearcy, R.A. Dow, Jean Sullivan, Fran Higgins

From: AIP 

I’ve known of Squirm for many years; about time I finally gave the movie a shot, right? It’s nice to cross off films from my figurative (not to mention literal) watchlists.

This is a nature gone amok motion picture which in the first half more resembled a sweaty Southern Gothic drama where the Brundlefly combination of Sissy Spacek, Lea Thompson, & Kerri Green welcomes Not Willem Dafoe as he arrives from New York City to her rural Georgia town that’s still hot & humid despite the late September date-as someone who lives in Florida, that’s accurate. The nature gone amok plot point: a nasty thunderstorm resulted in downed power lines, resulting in killer carnivorous worms attacking man & animal. Note that we see macro photography of the worms… who scream! That sound effect was taken from Carrie, believe it or not.

The movie takes its time as you get to know the key characters, including a silver-fox sleazy sheriff and a WORM FARMER named Roger who was a rather strong country bumpkin in this sea of country bumpkins w/ strong Southern accents, although lead girl Geri’s sister Alma entertained me the most-she was the biggest redneck in the film & was unintentionally hysterical.

Once the second half hits, the special effects arrive; some are cheesy, sure, but others are from the legend, Rick Baker-those were effective. Squirm is quite silly-especially with how tidy and short the resolution was. At the same time, the setting and characters brought me much joy. Somewhere in the multiverse, this would have starred Martin Sheen, Kim Basinger, & Stallone (!! He lobbied to get the role. The world missed out on Sly as Roger, the worm farmer redneck) yet the unknowns and randoms in the film ranged from adequate to pretty good.

Squirm is not a must-see, unless you have a fetish for worms. At the same time, I was not left crestfallen after finally checking out a movie I’ve known of for literal decades.

Hips, Hips, Hooray!

Hips, Hips, Hooray! (1934)

Runtime: 67 minutes

Directed by: Mark Sandrich

Starring: Bert Wheeler, Robert Woolsey, Thelma Todd, Dorothy Lee, George Meeker

From: RKO

In this special late nite Letterboxd posting, I reveal that this is my first Wheeler & Woosley film. Even on Letterboxd, I imagine that not everyone who views Pre-Code pictures will be familiar with the vaudeville turned movie actor duo Bert Wheeler and Robert Woolsley. I have known of them for years since it took until last night to finally pull the trigger. This was found-via the Bowels of the Internet-due to stumbling upon a recent review which proclaimed how racy the movie was.

This is piffle where the duo are cheap humbugs that sell… flavored lipstick on street corners without a license. They fanoodle around and meet Dorothy Lee, a common sight in their movies. She’s connected to a beauty-supply company and that’s about all the viewer needs to know. Hips is never uproariously or a knee-slapper, yet there were funny scenarios, amusing puns, running gags, sight gags new to me, and absurd scenarios. Plus, there’s even a few songs, including one from Ruth Etting, as herself. She’s a singer turned actress popular at the time who is long-forgotten by now.

The film features moments racy even for a Pre-Code. There’s a gag involving a woman’s cleavage, other dames are in what appeared to be fishtanks, and yet more appear in rather revealing outfits, which included a bit of side-boob. There is a scene rather creepy by 2026 standards where the duo… kiss those women in the revealing outfits so they can guess what flavored lipstick they have on. What a sight it was to see someone who looked like a Brundlefly combination of Orville Redenbacher & a tortoise kiss multiple young women! But boy, is it unfortunate that one of the two detectives following the duo is named… Epstein.

Hips did make me laugh so I was happy to see this; I didn’t even mind that this was basically a loosely-strung together series of gags. It was nice seeing Thelma Todd, a charming young blonde who sadly passed away at the age of 29 via circumstances that could have been her taking her life, or could have been murder. On a lighter note, it was nice to see Phyllis Berry in a smaller role-she was in the 1939 Three Stooges short Three Little Sew and Sews. They plus Lee all did swell jobs.

As the film also featured a few songs and a rather wild song & dance number, I was entertained by this piffle, which was only 67 minutes long. It may be many months in the future, but eventually more Wheeler & Woolsey will be witnessed.

Jallikattu

Jallikattu (2019)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Lijo Jose Pellissery

Starring: Antony Varghese, Chemban Vinod Jose, Sabumon Abdusamad, Santhy Balachandran, Jaffer Idukki

From: Several different Indian companies

This was a different sort of Indian movie, at least to a dumb white American like me who usually only sees the insane, bombastic, OOT efforts from the 21st century starring macho men who are as unstoppable as Superman.

This film in the Malayalam language is only 93 minutes in length, has zero musical numbers, got some traction in the West (including playing at the London & Toronto Film Festivals one year) and had high aspirations with its panoply of characters, sound design, long takes, score full of discordant chants & other sounds, and cinematography. The movie was selected as India’s submission to the 93rd Academy Awards for Best International Feature Film-impressive, even if it wasn’t selected as one of the five nominees.

At a rural village in Southern India, a bull escapes before the butcher can slaughter it. After the opening that introduces various characters, the film’s pacing is like a bull at full sprint; the bull’s attacks are only a small part of the movie. The crux of the focus is on the characters, the drama that was unmasked due to this stressful event, and-ahem-their beefs with each other. Naturally, it's the men & their masculinity which is the problem.

Jallikattu is the sort of motion picture better seen than described; besides the long-sustained shots in the cinematography and the score/sound design, the occasions when the bull acts like, well, a bull in a China shop, those moments are exciting. However, it’s the characters reacting to this event that should be expected from the viewer. Props to Lijo Jose Pellissery for creating a well-made, serious film built on bones that translates well & could be remade in any different culture but the flavor of the state/country tastes rather savory as this was brought to life w/ great skill.

Oh, and there’s a minor character who grows medicinal plants, is peaceful, and proclaims that the bull should be left alone and not killed-I know someone who will give this Vegan Points.

Fast Company

Fast Company (1979)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: David Cronenberg!

Starring: William Smith, Nicholas Campbell, John Saxon, Don Francks, Claudia Jennings

From: A few different Canadian companies 

This laid-back drag racing movie from DAVID CRONENBERG was as much a hoot as expected. Auto racing in general is not something I really watch, not even drag racing and its impressive living a quarter-mile at a time credo, driving more than 200 miles (322 kilometers) per hour. Of course, the director is the main reason many have even seen this “good old boy” picture that capitalized on such films as Smokey and the Bandit. Cronenberg admittedly only worked on this film for a paycheck, even if he is interested in cars and racing.

This follows a team sponsored by a motor oil company, FastCo. William Smith is a legend who drives “fuelies” (those long cars w/ the small wheels on the front) but it blows up pretty early. The drama is that John Saxon is a bureaucrat who is the team boss but is also a jerk who cares more about presenting the sponsorship than the team actually winning. He demands that Smith drives “funny cars” (those vehicles that look more like traditional road-legal automobiles) despite that being a role already had by young upstart Nicholas Campbell.

The viewer sees the team interact w/ rivals & deal w/ romantic entanglements. The film is straightforward & not subversive nor is there any body horror present, unless you count “guy pouring motor oil on the naked chest of a young woman as a form of foreplay!” This has little of his trademark style and it’s bizarre to see him direct a movie w/ a country rock soundtrack, full of characters that look amazingly of their time, giving themselves such monikers as MEATBALL and STONER. 

A laid-back 70’s movie like this isn’t for all tastes anyhow, and those that wanted more of the director’s style will be left disappointed. Well, I typically like laid-back 70’s movies and I was fine with the focus not on the sport, but rather the characters and their drama. The presence of such actors as Smith, Saxon, Campbell, cult favorite Claudia Jennings, and such “that guy” actors as Don Francks was naturally an asset. The drag races were at least exciting for those that are fans. The Western Canadian scenery was pleasant.

If your expectations are in check, you might have a good time; your opinions on cynical 70’s cinema-yes, this is one of those as well-will play a key role in your opinion of Fast Company. As the final 10 or so minutes were wild, I enjoyed Fast Company even if the other Cronenberg I’ve seen was better.