Interceptor

Interceptor (2022)

Runtime: 99 miserable minutes

Directed by: Matthew Reilly

Starring: Elsa Pataky, Luke Bracey, Aaron Glenane, Mayen Mehta, Rhys Muldoon

From: Netflix

Yes, this is sure some Netflix gruel. I won't use the “S word” as it's overused, even more so when referring to AI. I'll keep Netflix for at least one more month (meaning, early December) and in the meantime, I'll view some films & documentaries on the platform. There's no real good explanation why I chose this random Netflix exclusive picture, aside from telling or reminding people that most fictional Netflix Original Movies are avoided by me as if they were a fentanyl pill. Under Siege, this isn't.

Yeah, Elsa Pataky is an attractive lady; I am hesitant to proclaim that in this context as a key plot point is the sexual harassment her character experienced while in the military. Note that even I was taken aback by how STUPID this was! This containing too much “humor” and it being unfunny wasn't unexpected. I also knew that a famous face had a small role; entertaining, that wasn't.

The sexual harassment subplot was crude & crass, but the motivations for villain Luke Bracey to take control of the interceptor missiles that prevent enemy missiles from reaching the United States... “condescending” and “insulting” are two appropriate words to use. “Manipulative” is another term I'll use; America is bashed often, whether valid or not.

The setting is a rig in the middle of the Pacific Ocean; that setting didn't really mean much when it came to the average action. The interceptor missile that sank this movie: the horrendous plot and even more horrendous dialogue. The villain used the word “paroxysm” at one point but the movie is stump-dumb! You don't want to scrutinize the plot even a minuscule amount. Interceptor isn't even worth having on in the background while you're folding your laundry or doing the dishes.

The desire is for me to avoid such drivel as this and instead concentrate on motion pictures more worthwhile. That said, I am glad to offer my opinion-how much stock you put into my opinion is up to you-that this is lame, felt incredibly cheap, has acres upon acres of dialogue, and not even the action is worthwhile. There is one absurd death that made me laugh; for this reason I can't give it my worst-possible rating or even a plain 1 star. Otherwise, Interceptor should be avoided; this is worse than even the typical Netflix Original Movie.

I had never even heard of Matthew Reilly; he's an Aussie author turned director-although this is his only credit. More than one mutual enjoys his writing, which naturally focuses on action plots such as this. As a director, he's no Michael Crichton or Alex Garland.

The Clones of Bruce Lee

The Clones of Bruce Lee (Shen Wei San Meng Long) (1980)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Several different people; different sources tell me different things

Starring: Dragon Lee, Bruce Le, Bruce Lai, Bruce Thai, Jon T. Benn, Bolo Yeung

From: Filmline Enterprises/Filmark International Ltd.

It's a BRUCEPLOITATION movie... of course this was weird. So we're on the same page, for years after Bruce Lee's untimely death, there was an entire industry of films based on guys who resembled the late icon as the star of martial arts films, usually weird and sometimes bizarre like Clones was. That's a world I've barely scratched the surface of yet I know the genre's reputation.

We see Bruce (well, the body of someone who barely resembled him) wheeled into the hospital, where he “died of a heart attack” instead of the “swelling of the brain caused by an allergic reaction” that was his actual cause of death. Law enforcement in Hong Kong plus a professor create a trio of clones, cleverly named Bruce Lee 1, Bruce Lee 2, and Bruce Lee 3. They were “born” as adults; this is never adequately explained, nor are the “THOUGHTAL INJECTIONS” that the clones receive via what's best described as an upside-down salad bowl w/ wires attacked that's on their heads. BTW, the doctor that created the clones was Jon T. Benn of The Way of the Dragon fame & they train w/ Bolo Yeung of Enter the Dragon fame.

This is as ludicrous as you'd expect; I say that as a positive in this case. While none of the action was unforgettable by any means, at least there's a slew of martial arts throughout. One clone is in an adventure involving a gold-smuggling movie producer (he becomes an actor. Once the producer discovers Bruce Lee 1 is investigating him, he has the scheme to... have Bruce Lee 1 die via HAVING AN ON-SET “ACCIDENT” INVOLVING A GUN. No kidding) and the other two team up with the Thai version of Not Bruce Lee-appropriately known as BRUCE THAI-in Thailand to stop an evil scientist, known as Dr. Nye..no, not Bill. His scheme is straight out of a 30's serial.

This was fun nonsense featuring dubbed dialogue, stolen music (only some of which I recognized... there's Gonna Fly Now, the theme to The Spy Who Loved Me, and songs from The Warriors), way more full-frontal female flesh than I was anticipating, and nice scenery in both Hong Kong & Thailand. A movie as goofy as The Clones of Bruce Lee naturally won't appeal to all tastes; thankfully, I'm in the camp that can laugh at the thought process of having a film star multiple Lee impersonators.

County Hospital

This is a 1932 short (18 minutes in length) from Laurel & Hardy: 

My plans changed & I actually did not see anything cinematic Halloween night; my burnout with horror/spooky entertainment at the moment (plus realizing that the last film in this year's list belonging to the Halloween franchise seemed fitting. That list will be made public tonight) made me want to watch something short this afternoon then all through November I expect to watch a wide variety of films. The few dozen or so that have followed me in the past 2 ½ months, you'll see that I check out many different genres.

This includes me checking out Laurel & Hardy once in awhile. Whether shorts or feature-length, silent or sound, I've been happy to see their work through the years. County Hospital is a popular effort I hadn't viewed before. This had the simple premise of “Laurel visits his pal Hardy at the titular hospital; the latter has a broken leg,” which leads to the expected tomfoolery. As Laurel had a mishap w/ a drinking fountain, you can imagine the insanity of him eating hard boiled eggs in Hardy's room, or what happened w/ Hardy's ethnic doctor.

As typical, the sight gags, absurdities, and wordplay delighted me to no end. Naturally, Laurel was the agent of destruction while poor Hardy was injured. Pants, a syringe, and action outside the hospital factor into the equation. On days like this, I was happy to have a swell time and deliver an easy review after viewing something less than 20 minutes in length. In terms of November, I'm also glad to catch up and tip my cap to the actors that have passed away in the past few weeks.

Halloween II, Revisited

I'm referring to the 1981 movie; the 2009 Rob Zombie film has never been seen... & likely never will be.

A movie only revisited because... yesterday afternoon a small BMW SUV cut me off in traffic (almost side-swiping me), then a minute later I pass by them & noticed that the driver was wearing a Michael Myers mask?!

I swear, this occurred. A similar bizarre moment occurred a few days ago but more on that at the conclusion of this review. Technically, I should have revisited the original or the 5th film in the franchise as both featured Myers driving, but the former's been reviewed more than once here & the latter is not a good motion picture. Halloween II is flawed yet is still one of the better movies in the franchise.

The idea to have II take place immediately after the first and feature action in Haddonfield's hospital (even if it's like most hospitals in cinema in that it's far less busy and has far less people than a medical facility IRL... although allegedly, director Rick Rosenthal claimed he was once in a hospital that deserted) was a nice one; the big plot twist in the final act can certainly be debated-The Shape having that motivation perhaps wasn't necessary as the motivation in the OG movie was arguably more bone-chilling. There is a valid complaint concerning how Sheriff Brackett disappears early on instead of following what seemed like an obvious plot thread.

Of course this isn't legendary like the original yet the dimly-lit hospital was at least a memorable setting-the contributions of DP Dean Cundey plus the direction were great assets in setting this specific mood-featuring characters that were fine. Incredibly horny paramedic BUDD & his amazingly vulgar version of Amazing Grace is still a highlight. This film did have John Carpenter himself get involved to include nudity/sex & violence over the director's head as this because du jour after the first movie was released. He later regretted doing that to Rosenthal; I think he also regretted writing the script to this film via drinking a six-pack of beer each night.

There are other things I do laugh about besides Budd; the fate of Ben Tramer and the increased insanity of Dr. Loomis throughout the franchise will always tickle me pink. Also deserving credit are the awesome score from Carpenter/Alan Howarth and the unforgettable opening credits. Thus, I was glad to have revisited this for a review to post on Halloween.

The aforementioned “bizarre moment” I mentioned which occurred a few days ago I thought would be the strangest sight on the road until viewing Michael Myers in a BMW: some dude in a ratty old Volkswagen Jetta had in his passenger seat... a human skeleton! Well, I presume a plastic version, rather than him pulling an Ed Gein, driving around w/ an actual skeleton.

The Cycle

The Cycle (2026)

Runtime: 111 minutes

Directed by: Jordan Downey

Starring: Deborah Ann Woll, Jeffrey Donovan, Gretchen Corbett, Jack Doolan, Will Hochman

From: Shudder

This film has been the Belle of the Ball since it debuted on Shudder; this is why I'm viewing this instead of a long-ago requested movie of a similar nature (I should get to that in December; plus, I just watched Cure) as Spooky Season will end after I post a review on Sunday—I am aching to view all sorts of different genres next month. Meanwhile, back to this film that some have been over the moon for.

People on Letterboxd and a Discord server I'm a member of have raved about The Cycle, making me curious. At least one person viewed it solely because it starred Deborah Ann Woll. This blends horror w/ police procedural; Woll is a great forensic anthropologist who is asked to examine the corpse of her father, who she has been long-estranged from as he left her life decades ago. Hopefully no one reading this is estranged from any family members...

The Cycle is one of those films where it's best to go in blind, not knowing what it's about; I was a little surprised at the big reveal about halfway through, although in hindsight I shouldn't have been given the clues it dropped along the way. The first half took its time as the plot slowly unfurled and you got to know the lead characters. It shifts gears & becomes more exciting as the villain unleashes its fury; many of us will enjoy that the effects were practical, usually looking good.

Woll and Jeffrey Donovan (the other known name in the cast) did a swell job w/ their roles. A nitpick or two could be made-as others have said, they did not 100% stick the landing w/ the ending-but overall I had a pretty good time with this film & the family-based story it told. Its version of a <redacted> story was a nice, refreshing twist. The dreary overcast Oregon setting is an example of the film's tone.

In fact, I was glad to view a modern horror movie that's gotten some buzz... and it's something I at least liked. In this case, I liked The Cycle quite a bit. In hindsight, I should have seen this like a week ago for the purpose of recommending this to others, but... better late than never.

Cure

Cure (1997)

Runtime: 112 mesmerizing minutes

Directed by: Kiyoshi Kurosawa

Starring: Koji Yakusho, Masato Hagiwara, Tsuyoshi Ujiki, Anna Nakagawa, Yukijiro Hotaru

From: Daiei 

Not only had I never seen Cure before... this is my first Kiyoshi Kurosawa film! Some will take great umbrage at this admission but at least a request was made a little earlier in the year to check this out; I was happy to have fixed this grave error & finally viewed this mesmerizing picture.

Beforehand, I only knew the premise... random people have no memories of brutally murdering someone then carving an X into their upper torso. After that, it was all fresh for me. “The Devil made them do it” is offered as an explanation by the partner of our police detective lead Kenichi Takabe. That does seem like the best explanation early on... I'll try to be vague the rest of the way so I don't ruin Cure for anyone that wishes for their initial viewing to be a fresh experience. I can say that Takabe's wife Fumie experiences what we'll likely call “mental health struggles” now.

The movie does take its time in presenting the story, yet my attention never wavered. The beginning is a police procedural where the duo attempt to rationalize what seemed inexplicable. The story itself was engrossing, alongside the film-making craft on display, the score, the performances, the sound design during certain moments, the editing (which was especially key in a psychological horror like Cure), the finale... the movie had an uneasy, unnerving feeling from the opening minutes but this increased in intensity until it's a real pressure-cooker by the final act. Cure's the sort of movie that gets under your skin, one whose vibes will never be forgotten by me.

While not everything I hoped (or even announced) I will end up seeing this Spooky Season, Cure is one of a few films that's been in my virtual queue for years until the trigger was finally pulled. For certain, while it may be months before my next Kiyoshi Kurosawa, I'm certainly down for eventually checking out motion pictures like Pulse.

 

Jeepers Creepers (No, Not That One!)

Rather, this is a 1939 Looney Tunes cartoon: 

Why not view a spooky Looney Tunes cartoon in late October? In Spooky Seasons past, I've watched various Halloween-related cartoons from the likes of Disney and even a Betty Boop one year. However, Looney Tunes is new in the time I've been on Letterboxd... almost FOURTEEN years now!

Porky Pig is a cop—I know, some will want to make the obvious joke... go ahead if you wish! To steal a line, in this universe apparently it's against the law to be a ghost in an abandoned old house. No kidding, Porky's called to deal with said ghost, who sounds quite a bit like Goofy. The expected shenanigans occur where the ghost trolls his swine foe.

Note that this short ends with... a BLACKFACE gag. That bore no impact on my rating. I don't even know what the ghost said once its covered in soot. One YouTube video has the audio muted and another video (the one I watched due to it being in 1080p) abruptly ends right before you see it's a blackface gag. That sort of humor is an unfortunate relic of its time but as a dumb white guy, that did not ruin Jeepers Creepers for me when I don't even know what was said by the ghost while covered in soot.

While this is no The Skeleton Dance (or its unofficial color remake Skeleton Frolic) or Lonesome Ghosts or Swing You Swingers-in terms of Halloween flavor and entertainment-this was still fun, featuring various iconography of late October, & chuckles throughout. This is a cartoon, so “putting frogs in shoes” is the best gag.