Rhinestone (1984)
Runtime: An overlong 111 minutes
Directed by: Bob Clark
Starring: Sly Stallone, Dolly Parton (RIP), Richard Farnsworth,
Tim Thomerson, Ron Leibman
From: 20th Century Fox
RIP Dolly Parton
She is such an iconic figure-beloved by
everyone-whose philanthropy should be what she’s remembered for (even
more so than her legendary country music career), one of her films had
to be seen ASAP. What a life she had… growing up in abject poverty in
rural Tennessee, becoming a huge star, using her wealth & clout to
help many that were in need like she was as a child. What a legacy
she’ll leave behind.
Now, Nine to Five was viewed then reviewed
May of ’24 after Dabney Coleman passed away. Rhinestone I have viewed
before, albeit long before joining Letterboxd. I really didn’t like it
at the time, yet it wasn’t due to Parton, her performance, or the
soundtrack that she created alongside Mike Post. BTW, this required
visiting the Bowels of the Internet to even find a copy.
The
entire conceit doesn’t make a whole lotta sense. Ron Leibman is a truly
insufferable club owner who owns Parton’s music contract; she performs
there to much success yet he doesn’t try to make her a bigger success
despite her obvious talent (and appearance!), instead attempting to make
goofballs a star. Why?! Just because he’s like Harvey Weinstein and is
mad that she won’t sleep with him? Is he mentally handicapped? This
detail is irrelevant, but he has an apartment at… Trump Tower.
Sly
Stallone’s NYC cab driver Nick Martinelli-on the other hand-certainly
is mentally handicapped! His behavior was also insufferable; what he
thought was “good” singing was “yelling at the top of his lungs &
singing gibberish.” You see, if Dolly can have Sly sing a song at the
Rhinestone club without the crowd booing it off the stage, she’ll be
released from her onerous contract.
The film has some moments, a
few laughs, and the sight of Stallone as the Rhinestone Cowboy type…
believe it or not, the plot is rather loosely based on the song. Dolly
was charming despite how lousy the movie is; as intolerable as some of
the main characters were, at least Tim Thomerson was amusing as a
low-rent country singer in Tennessee, as was Richard Farnsworth (of The
Straight Story fame) as Dolly’s father.
I still enjoyed the
country soundtrack; that genre I’m not as well-versed in but Lord is it
much better than most of what passes for “country music” these days! Sly
never improves at the “singing” aspect, at least in terms of voice. He
at least now sings to the beat and doesn’t scream like he’s a resident
at a mental health facility. However, it was absurd that the guy who
sang a song called Drinkin’stein (concerning how “Budweiser created a
monster”) won that crowd over. Is everyone insane, or is it I that has
lost their marbles? Drinkin’stein can be found in full on YouTube, for
those that enjoy novelty tunes.
Regardless, what a miserable week
this has turned into, now that two beloved figures have passed away. You
know which actor I’ll be viewing for tomorrow’s review. Now, I’ll close
this out by sharing an anecdote made in my Urban Cowboy review. It
concerns how my father saw Dolly Parton perform at a rodeo in the early
70’s, and what he noticed about her first. As she flaunted her
appearance, I imagine she wouldn’t have been offended by my dad’s
reaction:
“One scene early in the movie introduced (Scott)
Glenn's character; he is a convict in the Huntsville, Texas prison and
he is riding a rodeo bull in the Texas Prison Rodeo. It may seem like
poppycock but from the 30's until 1986, prisoners all over Texas who
behaved could go to Huntsville and compete in a rodeo, held each
Saturday in October. Various events were had and it was held to raise
money for the prison system. My dad explained that in 1974 he and his
buddies went to it one Saturday; he had already graduated from college
in Illinois but he went to Houston to earn another degree.
He had
a good time; the halftime entertainment was... Dolly Parton. They
always had big country stars perform there. It wasn't 1980 when she was
mainstream and this movie had a scene where there was a Dolly
impersonation contest; my dad doesn't listen to “country & western”
so that was the first he had heard of her, let alone seen her. As she
always joked about her “assets”, it's not entirely gross for me to
mention that the biggest impression Parton left on dad & friends was
not her music!”