Monster from Green Hell

Monster from Green Hell (1957)

Runtime: 70 minutes

Directed by: Kenneth G. Crane

Starring: Jim Davis, Robert Griffin, Joel Fluellen, Barbara Turner, Eduardo Ciannelli

From: Gross-Krasne Productions

Am I the only one that remembers 1995's Attack of the Killer B-Movies?

It was a 1995 special that played September 2nd of that year (a Saturday) on NBC which was like MST3K (Frank Conniff was involved) except that they played four edited B-movies over a two hour block and they cut away to some stars of NBC's teen-centric shows at the time-including Dustin Diamond!-and Elvira. This was one of the four movies on the special; I didn't remember that was the case until last night as it has been 31 years. The other three were The Wasp Woman, Killers from Space, and The Navy vs. The Night Monsters. Only the last film was remembered... how can you forget something called THE NAVY vs. THE NIGHT MONSTERS?

Concerning Monster from Green Hell... the Americans fire up a pair of rockets into space carrying various animals as a precursor to discover whether humans could survive in space. Of course it goes wrong; one of the rockets crashes back to Earth, in “Africa.” “Space radiation” creates the giant wasps. Of course, there's a white doctor who has lived among “the hostile natives” for years and those natives are about as stereotypical as you'd expect for a B (or is that BEE?)-movie released in 1957 America on a double-bill w/ an edited dubbed version of the Toho Abominable Snowman film Half Human. In fact, there's a feared region known as Green Hell. The Black folk are portrayed as the superstitious type, unsurprisingly for the era.

Naturally, this is silly trash filled with stock footage, sometimes combined rather obviously with the wasp model, which at least didn't look bad. Heck, I was even a little pleasantly surprised that the region of Africa most of the movie's set in was a real location rather than a fake country or worst of all, never identified beyond “Africa” as if it's all one country. It's what was a territory then but in 1960 became the country of Gabon.

As typical for a 50's monster movie w/ hardly any budget, the monster isn't shown as much as perhaps the viewer-especially a modern one-would prefer. You can nitpick how plenty of time is eaten up by the two white scientists from America traveling 400 miles by foot to reach the village. The stock sound effects of “African animals” played at a near-constant rhythm is silly. Be that as it may, this was not incompetent like a Robot Monster or something from a Coleman Francis production. This was competent programming featuring acceptable effects designed for the drive-in movie crowd that presumably also did alright in later television viewings.

The film does have two cast members of some renown. Lead actor Jim Davis later created Garfield... no, this Jim Davis was Jock Ewing during the early days of the old TV show Dallas. Barbara Turner was an actor and screenwriter for decades (mainly in television) & also was the mom of Jennifer Jason Leigh—there is a resemblance.

Yes, it's hysterical that the giant wasps in Monster from Green Hell NEVER FLY; unless you have apiphobia, if especially you enjoy these B-movie 50's sci-fi pictures, you might think Green Hell is at least OK.

The House by the Cemetery

The House by the Cemetery (Quella Villa Accanto Al Cimitero) (1981)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Lucio Fulci

Starring: Catriona MacColl, Paolo Malco, Ania Pieroni, Giovanni Frezza, Silvia Collatina

From: Fulvia Film

It was about time I finally saw the third & final movie in Lucio Fulci's The Gates of Hell trilogy, right? The Beyond and City of the Dead are movies I like yet don't love like most others do. Give me Zombie, Don't Torture a Duckling, and The New York Ripper instead. That said, it was long overdue to complete the trilogy. Amusingly enough, I have seen kid actors Giovanni Frezza and Silvia Collatina in The New Barbarians and The Great Alligator earlier in the year; time for me to view their most famous roles.

This movie will remind you-regardless of intent-of The Shining. A doctor moves his family to a Boston-area home to complete the research of his late colleague. Well, the late doctor committed suicide after killing his mistress in the house; the son of the family (BOB; not Bobby, nor Robert, nor Robby, but BOB) is a little boy who sees a spooky little redhead girl named Mae that foretells doom.

Yes, it's a Fulci so you don't want to scrutinize the plot or logic too hard. As typical, adults dubbing the children in an old Italian genre effort is always hysterical. The plot & logic can be wonky here yet this haunted house tale inspired by M.R. James & Lovecraft concerning the lore of the place-tied to a Dr. Freudstein-still has the sort of spooky vibes I dig while still delivering the gory moments you'd expect from the director. There's a great cobweb-strewn cellar in the house which sets a great mood which coexists w/ such wacky moments as the most tenacious bat in cinematic history.

Helping is that the story is relatively straightforward & not a convoluted mess full of disconnected scenes like I feel City of the Dead and Beyond were. A creepy villain reveal is also a nice asset, as is the typical unforgettable Italian genre score-Walter Rizzati and an uncredited Allesandro Blonksteiner in this case. In hindsight, Cemetery should have been viewed sometime sooner than 2021, which is when The Beyond was tackled in full. Alas...

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times (La Dama Rossa Uccide Sette Volte) (1972)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Emilio Miraglia

Starring: Barbara Bouchet, Ugo Pagliai, Marina Malfatti, Marino Mase, Pia Giancaro

From: Several different European companies

It's been too long since any giallo films have been viewed; this certainly was a genre example—complimentary. It shouldn't be the only giallo I review the rest of the year, nor the only picture I view on Arrow's streaming platform.

The opening is set in 1958 at a castle, a pair of sisters arguing and fighting w/ each other more harshly than should be expected of a sisterly relationship; they are raised by their wheelchair-bound grandfather. He tells them lore after they ask about a creepy painting. There's a curse each century where as revenge for the Black Queen murdering her abusive sis the Red Queen, the Red Queen does in fact kill seven people, the Black Queen saved for last.

Flash-forward to '72 & of course, a woman clad in a red cloak is murdering SOB's, whether it be via stabbing or other methods. There's what I expected from the genre: a detective investigating the murders, red (cloaked) herrings, sleaze, a bottle of J&B whiskey in the background-as it was for most Italian genre movies of the 70's-sleaze, atmospheric settings, a convoluted plot, and more sleaze. The most famous names were Barbara Bouchet and Sybil Danning; both are shown naked-no one should be surprised the latter took off her clothing!

The Red Queen Kills Seven Times isn't the best of its type yet the German castle/village/city setting added nice flavor, there's nice cinematography, & the killer bellows a crazed laugh after each kill. A bonus for someone like me is some hysterical period fashion, perhaps appropriate for some of the leads working at a fashion house. Shame on me for not viewing any giallo flicks as of late until now.

Ninja Terminator

Ninja Terminator (1985)

Runtime: 88 mesmerizing minutes

Directed by: Godfrey Ho... well, part of it at least

Starring: Richard Harrison (RIP), Jack Lam, Hwang Jan-Lee, Phillip Ko Fai, Jonathan Wattis

From: IFD Films & Arts, Ltd.

RIP Richard Harrison

Wednesday night, it was announced that Harrison had passed away Friday the 18th at the age of 90. Somehow, despite my viewings of many films from Italy, the Philippines & other countries, this was my first film of his. He made many dozens of B-movies (and lower-grade) for decades; due in part to meme reasons, Ninja Terminator is one of his most (in)famous movies now, which coincides w/ its status as one of the most (in)famous pictures from Godfrey Ho.

As with many of his pictures, footage from a foreign picture was taken and combined w/ footage filmed by Ho-usually of ninjas. In this case, it's the 1984 Korean flick Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry. This was combined-awkwardly, as you'd expect from the blending of two completely different pictures-with a tale revolving around ninjas fighting over a magical Buddha statue. The Korean footage has an onslaught of taekwon-action (to borrow a phrase from the City on Fire website) while the new footage is charming in its own way—this includes toy robots delivering important messages & Harrison wearing eyeliner when he's adorned in ninja garb.

An important detail to note is that a rare widescreen copy of Nina Terminator is available on YouTube; sure, the picture is pillarboxed on all four sides but is still of course preferable to the fullscreen version. Well, in the comments of the video, a true hero known as redcomet_622 created a list identifying most of the songs that appear throughout. It's at the end of the review, as there are MANY stolen songs throughout. It's everything from Japanese soundtrack tunes, Lalo Schifrin, and many Isao Tomita songs to Jean-Michel Jarre, multiple tunes from Wendy Carlos' A Clockwork Orange score, and most famously, Echoes from Pink Floyd. While all illegal, it was a GREAT soundtrack/score someone compiled.

While a mess narrative-wise, Ninja Terminator is a trashy good time. The Korean action is quality, the new action is fine in a different fashion, and if you don't try to scrutinize the story too closely... you might have a good time.

Three final notes:

Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry was feared to be a lost film; however, Neon Eagle included it as an extra on their Blu release of Ninja Terminator... in December they'll release it on its own.

From reviews, I know the film includes a song not present here... Kenny Loggins' Footloose!

Oh, and this is the source of those GARFIELD PHONE memes from the past. It is in fact demented genius that Ho decided to have Harrison engage in several important phone conversations while talking on a novelty telephone of an iconic comic strip character where its eyes would open when the handle is off the receiver. It's that, the music, the action, and the wackiness which helped elevate this for me.

 

Here's that aforementioned list of songs:

0:00, 1:03:52 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Base Machine Works (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:32, 33:46, 39:06, 48:20 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Showdown Daba · My Road (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:39, 32:41, 39:14 Moving Still - Chris and Cosey
2:06 Isao Tomita - Strong Electronic Light Waves
2:16 Isao Tomita - Round Spaceship Landing On the Earth
2:57 Isao Tomita - Venus Wearing The Space Uniform
3:09 Isao Tomita - Dororo
4:28 Pat Metheny Group - Extent of The Lie
4:34 Tangerine Dream – Thru Metaphoric Rocks
7:07, 7:35 Chumei Watanabe - Roaming (Jaspion OST)
7:12 Hiroya Watanabe - Tsuiseki Soshite Massatsu (Cosmo Police Justy OST)
7:21 Kei Wakakusa - Attack (Godmars OST)
10:36,12:19 Chumei Watanabe - Metal Tech · Suit (Jaspion OST)
11:38, 38:45 Talizman - I Must Go (Locke the Superman OST)
13:08 ?
14:45 Pink Floyd - Echoes
16:20 John Neschilling - Pixote Theme
17:39 Lalo Schifrin - Fast Moves (Battle Creek Brawl OST)
19:43 - 22:21 ? 24:44 Holger Czykay - On The Way to The Peak of Being Normal
26:09 Isao Tomita - The Planets: Mars, The Bringer of War
27:23 - 29:18,1:04:48 Steve Hillage - Sea Nature/ Steve Hillage - Ether Ships
30:06 Logic System - Venus
31:41 Mandingo - War Dance
34:21, 1:14:06 Logic System - I Love You
34:55 Jerry Goldsmith - The Hostage (Outland OST)
35:09,1:23:27 The Slipstream Group ‎– Forest Of Evil
40:05 , 1:11:15 Chumei Watanabe - The Enemy (Jaspion OST)
41:06, 51:50, 1:12:03 Chumei Watanabe - Change for Daileon (Jaspion OST)
44:19 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
45:39 Jerry Fielding - The Delivery (The Gauntlet OST)
45:57 Logic System - Metamorphism
47:38 Wendy Carlos - Clockwork Orange theme
49:41 Ennio Morricone - Violent City
50:07, 1:05:10 Talizman - Recollection (Locke the Superman OST)
50:47 Fifty Guitars - Sevilla Nights (Cover of Santa Esmerelda's Sevilla Nights)
51:16 Jean Michel Jarre - Zoolookologie
52:14, 53:58 The Love Unlimited Orchestra - The Rip (Together Brothers OST)
54:19 Chumei Watanabe - Galaxy Bible (Jaspion OST)
54:49 Jerry Goldsmith - The Rec Room (Outland OST)
59:01, 59:21 Chumei Watanabe - Desperate War (Jaspion OST)
1:00:33 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
1:07:19 Film Sounds Orchestra - Violent City (Cover of Ennio Morricone's Violent City)
1:08:53 James Horner - Battle In The Mutara Nebula (Star Trek II OST)
1:09:36 Mandingo - Invocation to the Gods
1:13:00, 1:20:32, 1:22:31 Steve Hillage - Crystal City
1:13:58, 1:14:37, 1:15:14, 1:21:08 Tim Blake - Synthese Intemporelle
1:15:25 Keith Emerson - Main Title (Nighthawks OST)
1:23:27 Slipstream Group - Forest of Evil (De Wolfe Music Library)
1:24:43 Steve Hillage - Glorious Om Riff
1:25:30 Jean Michel Jarre - Ethnicolor
1:26:05 Logic System - Prophet
1:26:19 Logic System - Metamorphism

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1936)

Runtime: 68 minutes

Directed by: George King

Starring: Tod Slaughter, Stella Rho, John Singer, Eve Lister, Bruce Seton

From: George King Productions

I finally experienced a piece of media concerning Sweeney Todd. Via cultural osmosis (including the Stephen Sondheim/Hugh Wheeler musical that Tim Burton adapted for the screen) I know that Todd was a fictional character from the Penny Dreadful genre efforts that was printed cheaply for the working class in 19th century UK residents. I knew he was a killer and there were meat pies-this macabre detail understandably was excluded from this film-but research told me that this adaptation does have the supporting characters Ms. Lovett (i.e. Lovatt here), love interest Johanna Oakley, & orphan boy apprentice Tobias Ragg, along with his magic chair.

Also a treat was seeing British stage Tod Slaughter as the titular character. In 2024 I saw him in the UK melodrama The Face at the Window; it was great learning about a hammy melodrama actor not afraid to literally be a cackling villain gleefully over the top. He was the same here in a film that had less horror elements than expected but was still a fine 68 minutes. 

The presence of a framing story was the biggest shock. A gonzo barber in 1936 excitedly tells his customer the story of Sweeney Todd, a barber who kills for money and Ragg is his 8th apprentice in 8 weeks.
He is next door to a Ms. Lovatt; meanwhile, a Mark is romancing Johanna but her father is a rich A-hole who hates that Mark is poor so he's off on a mercantile ship. He acquires wealth in Africa (long story involving natives; that wasn't as offensive as I had first feared) and returns to London.

Sweeney Todd's a fine production, from the sets to the acting, the score and everything else. However, it was Slaughter as the titular character that was the highlight. Todd literally cackles at points; not every villain needs to be OOT but in melodramas like this, someone devouring the scenery is delightful. While I'm pretty sure there are better adaptations of the source material and there isn't much in the way of horror scares, the 1936 film was still fun in a histrionic way.

Hope

Hope (2026)

Somehow, 78% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 157 reviews) 

Runtime: Somehow, 157 minutes!

Directed by: Na Hong-jin

Starring: Various Korean actors I somehow didn't recognize, plus somehow both Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander

From: Neon released this in the United States

Why can’t there be a site like Does the Dog Die, except that it concerns foul language in movies, and how much of it (including F bombs) is in a particular film? Despite having almost 6,000 (!) followers on Letterboxd, I neither have the time nor resources to start such a project myself. It would have made me not both w/ the new Resident Evil nor this new Korean film from Na Hong-jin, despite being a big fan of his The Chaser and The Wailing, and my puzzlement that this has involvement from several Western actors, most notably the husband-and-wife duo of Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander. I hope they were financially compensated quite well.

I had no idea that Resident Evil and this would share various similarities. Both have idiotic leads; in this case, it’s the police Chief of a small town who is such a dumbass, he doesn’t have a clue how many fellow officers he has in his department! Hope has multiple intolerable characters, all of whom start cursing and they all increase their swearing until it’s nonstop in the final act. I couldn’t care less about any of these jackasses, nor the rancid “humor” in the film that’s also unnecessary. No kidding, a random old dude shows up to deliver an important speech that felt like it was 10 minutes long… revolving around witnessing something while he’s taking a massive diarrhea dump in the woods!

Not even that was the worst aspect of Hope. Even worse than the brutal length of 2 ½ hours, the cursing, the illogic, the stupidity, the failed unnecessary comedy, & even the incredibly awful final 10 minutes that was just mind-boggling in how baffling & laughable it was; no, the worst aspect was how ATROCIOUS the effects were.

It’s CG that would have looked bad a quarter-century ago! What felt like the opening half hour had the big killing machine not shown on camera-just its destruction. I was already not liking the film at that point and there was irritation that they were prolonging the first reveal.
Finally, this indestructible force appeared, and… the initial reaction was laughter as it was just laughable, the appearance was so goofy. Boy, did I regret my desire to see the monster!

Then I saw it in motion, and Holy Crap was that the realization of how bad the CG was, especially in motion. By the conclusion, I was reminded of An American Werewolf in Paris-there is a film you always want to be reminded of! What I’m referring to is how often the CG is shown despite its wretched appearance. They aren’t afraid to display these creatures-indestructible beyond belief-as if they thought their janky, goofy appearance was somehow acceptable in a movie that was released worldwide, including plenty of screens in America. This was on IMAX screens, for crying out loud! I shudder how the CG looked on one of those screens.

Hope had plot armor for some of our heroes that was almost as strong as for the indestructible villains. I could possibly go on for far longer concerning what this movie got wrong-pacing, logic, world-building, how award-winning and nominated actors Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander looked as their characters, etc.-but this was another case of the wrong movie on the wrong night for me. Not everything was wretched—the score wasn’t bad, the cinematography had nice moments and the production did a swell job constructing the fake village.

However, the totality of this bloated picture was so aggravating, so disappointing, such a waste of time-where even the action scenes are way too long-I felt forced to go Scorched Earth and give my lowest-possible rating. I'm glad that many enjoyed this far more than I. Hopefully it'll be a long while before a controversial review will have to be written. My next review should be of an older film that likely won't result in a bitter aftertaste.

 

I Saw the New Resident Evil... Unfortunately

 

Perhaps I should finally give up on Modern Horror in general… for certain, I will give up on Zach Cregger for good.

After not viewing any films Sunday night, a double-header was held at a cinema last night; Wednesday night will be the review for the other picture-one I hated even more than this! For the newer followers: most modern horror does nothing for me. This includes Obsession and Backrooms, which I both strongly disliked on a fundamental level. Also, I’ve grown more and more tired of foul language, and how it’s incessant in most R-rated movies for at least the past few years. Now, I skipped Weapons but the first two acts of Barbarian were entertaining… until the final act started poorly & it fell apart until an awful final 10 minutes.

I still have never played any Resident Evil game, so that has no bearing on my opinion. The rave reviews for this fooled me; Lord, I’ve been fooled WAY too often when it comes to “popular modern horror” that’s beloved by most on Letterboxd. No offense to anyone, but that is on me as I should learn my lesson and just avoid these stupid Gen-Z films (horror or otherwise) starring an insufferable, idiotic, incompetent protagonist--Johnny Dumb**** in this case, or whatever his name was. Johnny is a courier who has to deliver something to a hospital in Raccoon City.

Johnny constantly screws up and can’t perform simple tasks correctly. He can’t even speak correctly, given his constant cursing, especially the torrent of F-bombs that never cease, which is just like the stupid inane comments this emasculated dork says to himself that never cease. Am I supposed to LIKE this loser? As the viewer follows only him throughout, that was a huge problem for me. So was not liking anyone else we see.

And also, another huge issue was that this almost constantly has “comedy”… not only was it unnecessary, most of it made me groan rather than laugh. It was all just so stupid and not enjoyable; I’ve long since grown tired of unnecessary “humor” in modern cinema. Let’s not even get started on some of the all-time terrible bits of dialogue or blatant ripoffs/homages of moments from actual great horror of the 80’s. Yes, there were OOT gross gory moments but I need more than that. The film is not lit poorly, the snowy landscape is cool and the synth score from Hays & Ryan Holladay was delightful. Otherwise, this is yet another piece of modern horror that failed on a vital level, at least according to my tastes.

It stinks that for years, most Modern Horror is anathemic to my brain, requiring more effort to track down films I enjoy-which I tend to enjoy more than the majority of Letterboxd users. As hated at this comment will be, the goofy 2002 Resident Evil movie was a better time; at least the characters weren’t imbecilic idiots, incompetent jackasses that never shut up.

If you think I went Scorched Earth on Resident Evil 2026, wait until you read the review I’ll post about 24 hours from now!