Scary Movie (The New One)

Scary Movie (2026)

24% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 131 reviews) 

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Michael Tiddes

Starring: All the returning faces, + the likes of Olivia Rose Keegan, Cameron Scott Roberts, Savannah Lee Nassif, & Sydney Park

From: Paramount/Miramax

You know, I didn't think this was that bad. Many will disagree & that's fine. The bad buzz was why the film was only watched yesterday, while I was elsewhere all of Sunday (I'll explain in tomorrow's review how crazy Sunday was) & took in a theatrical viewing.

As mentioned a few months ago, I did watch the first two movies in the franchise on the big screen-and none of the subsequent sequels, whether at the cineplex or at home-so might as well do the same now that the Wayans family returned. The crowd was predominately Black; of course not every Black person has the same tastes but they were fans of the film & perhaps that did improve my opinion, re: Scary Movie 2026. They definitely knew Kai Cenat; me, it was a name heard beforehand-otherwise, even now I don't know a damn thing about him!

Even I can admit that the humor didn't always land, the most “controversial” moments only earned sporadic chuckles & didn't mean all that much... that and them cramming in the last 25 years of genre references wasn't always to the film's benefit. I actually was concerned as some major horror pictures of recent years hadn't been viewed by me so that might make those references a little awkward. Thankfully, the bones the plot are built on are: the 5th & 6th Scream movies and the 2018 Halloween. As all have been seen by me-heck, all were theatrical experiences-that meant my concerns were unwarranted.

It was nice to see the cast, both old & new. I realize some of the performances have been bashed-fair, although IMO some characters were meant to be that OOT. I also didn't mind the satiric barbs at certain liberal talking points-they also took potshots at the conservatives, don't worry. The random background or random non-sequitor gags & a clever conclusion-where multiple people noted that the motivation for Ghostface here was better than in Scream 7!-helped in my enjoyment. No offense to those in Gen Z but I didn't mind the digs at your generation!

As mentioned by me more often as of late, I love everyone that follows me on Letterboxd (almost six thousand!) yet there should be more caution applied when looking at what users in general rate, especially modern popular cinema. It was a relief that the new Scary Movie worked better than expected.

Pitch Black

Pitch Black (2000)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: David Twohy

Starring: Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser, Keith David, Lewis Fitz-Gerald

From: Polygram Filmed Entertainment/Interscope Communications

The color grading on this film is insane.

I know people will be shocked-probably not appalled but shocked nevertheless-that none of the Riddick movies were ever viewed by me. As people elsewhere discussed it and I believe it was promised by me at this location that at least the first would be given a shot one day… thanks to Netflix that occurred.

Pitch Black sure was a movie released in 2000. After the opening crash on the desert planet where a ragtag group of people are stuck (including some Muslims) I thought this’d be the yellowest motion picture in history, before it turned a blue hue before alternating back to yellow for the rest of the exterior scenes, aside from a green scene. I’m not insulting the film by noting it is something from the early 21st century… as mentioned before, I’ll always be nostalgic for how cinema of this time looked and felt, during my college days way back when.

This picture is not perfect by any means-even in the creature feature genre-and the CG is usually of its time. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t entertained. This ragtag group was sometimes cliché yet still intrigued. Vin Diesel as RICHARD B. RIDDICK was of course the most memorable as the criminal with the surgically-altered eyes, necessitating the usage of those oh-so-cool shades during daylight. It’s the sort of character that of course Diesel is best at for a man of his particular skillset. The rest of the cast was fine, regardless if they were familiar faces.

I’m glad that this was a fun sci-fi creature feature w/ some interesting ideas & touches, along with thrilling horror & action beats. One day in the far-future I should check out the sequels, including the upcoming Furya. Hopefully they all have nice scores like the one Graeme Revell provided here, or Riddick hiding in plain sight like he did in the first act.

Cold Case: The Tylenol Murders

This is why medicine in the United States is such a hassle to open.

Last night was another Netflix documentary, this one being an infamous story where cyanide was placed in several containers of Tylenol in the Chicago suburbs back in late ’82. Back then the capsules were much different and no safety seals were used, making the process unfortunately easy for any miscreant. I knew the incident & how the case is still unsolved but little else. This was illuminating.

It’s a standard documentary from the platform, competently constructed & featuring many of the parties involved, including family members of the deceased. The basics were presented then the one serious suspect-James W. Lewis-is presented, and actually interviewed on camera. He’s an A-hole who wrote an extortion letter to frame an enemy and was accused of some horrible crimes but there’s no evidence that he’s behind the product tampering.

Then, there’s discussion how Johnson & Johnson shouldn’t have been so easily cleared of wrongdoing & seen as victims themselves. It’s easy to hate the conglomeration now-their Wiki page has a huge section under “Recalls & Litigation”… it’s not just the claims that their baby powder causes ovarian cancer!-but there are reasons to believe that there could have been accidental or purposeful contamination at the factory. Their crisis management team were wizards in making Johnson & Johnson look good in the scandal and Tylenol did not go defunct.

The documentary doesn’t break any new ground in terms of investigation but still did a fine job in explaining the story to viewers unaware & giving credit to those involved with the case. As much a frustration as it typically is to open a bottle of Tylenol or any other medicine, I can’t complain that those products are now much less resistant to the effects of tampering once they leave the factory.

Central Park

Central Park (1932)

Runtime: 57 minutes

Directed by: John G. Adolfi

Starring: Joan Blondell, Wallace Ford, Guy Kibbee, Henry B. Walthall, John Wray

From: Warner Bros. 

The 57-minute length plus my schedule necessitated viewing this for a special late Thursday Letterboxd review posting. I DVR’ed this from a TCM showing yesterday due to someone on the site I follow posting this review several years ago. They weren’t over the moon for it (and accurately stated that the similar Union Depot from the same year was better) yet this was a breezy good time.

This covers one day in the famed New York City locale; this includes Joan Blondell & Wallace Ford as poor people falling in love, cop Guy Kibbee retiring in a week due to failing eyesight (does this portend doom for him?), gangsters attempting to rob a charity event, a lion escaping the park’s zoo, AND a dude named Smiley who’s not only a former zookeeper, but escaped from what we now call a mental health facility.

Plenty happens in less than an hour; there’s at least 90 minutes’ worth of story. At times the story is more than a little preposterous and Smiley-in an OOT performance-is such a lunatic, a beer bottle broken over his head had no effect. There’s also playing cards tossed into a hat, a homemade lasso, the Central Park Casino (an actual location; it’s Italian for “little house” so it did not host any gambling), a wild herd of sheep-was that ever a thing-people jumping head-first through an open window, and more.

Blondell & her eyes were a highlight, as typical. So much happens there’s not even a minute where boredom sets in. Of course there are many other details, that factor into my thinking a movie’s great. Central Park isn’t a masterpiece by any regards but was still fun, with many familiar Warner Brothers stock players and B-movie actors in bit parts, including Edward LeSaint, best known by me for his role as a judge in Disorder in the Court AND Reefer Madness.

I’m glad TCM played this flick; otherwise it’s hard to track down unless you take a journey to the Bowels of the Internet.

Frankenhooker

Frankenhooker (1990)

Runtime: 85 minutes

Directed by: Frank Henenlotter

Starring: James Lorinz, Patty Mullen, many other random people but there's also Shirley Stoler and Louise Lasser (RIP)

From: Shapiro/Glickenhaus Entertainment

RIP Louise Lasser

I realize this is far from the most dignified movie she was in and one day in the future I really need to revisit the one Woody Allen film I saw her in (like 20 years ago by now) but she’s unfortunately someone whose work has mainly not been seen by me. Todd Solondz is really not for me so Happiness is out of the question and her most famous role (the soap opera spoof TV show Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman) was way before my time. 

I should check out most of her work but I picked this as it’s a popular film somehow never watched by me before despite having viewed Basket Case before, my knowing some plot elements-like SUPERCRACK-and some scenes being filmed in The Bad New York City of Old. She’s only in one scene but was good in her role as lead Jeffrey’s Franken’s mom. Jeffrey is maladjusted anyhow but is much more so after his girlfriend Elizabeth Shelley is killed in a freak lawnmower accident, her body horribly mutilated.

The film is incredibly silly; Jeffrey is a mad scientist obviously mentally unwell who creates SUPERCRACK to explode a body so he can have a new body as Elizabeth’s head is the main part that wasn’t maimed so he decides to visit the prostitutes of New York City! No surprise, things go awry once he creates then animates the titular Frankenhooker.

The budget is low, the acting usually isn’t great and this could be nitpicked if you were the intolerable type. Thankfully I am not so I enjoyed the verisimilitude of director Frank Henenlotter, the OOT characters-Zorro, the buff Hispanic pimp was especially memorable-general absurdity-those prostitutes lose their minds once they discover Jeffrey’s crack supply-and how entertaining this trash was. The print I saw on Prime was from Troma-those that enjoy what the studio makes/releases should enjoy Frankenhooker.

One last important detail: the portrayal of the prostitutes is one thing—Elizabeth is presented rather well & sympathetic. Many reviewers have praised her character, especially after she’s reconstructed & deals with stupid men in a satisfying matter. Props to James Lorinz as Jeffrey, Joseph Gonzalez as Zorro, & especially Patty Mullen as Elizabeth. Also, I was amused that Shirley Stoller had a small role; she’s a “That Gal” actor who was in everything from Malcolm X to The Deer Hunter.

Girl in the Picture

I'm subscribed to Netflix, at least one documentary will be viewed.

This should be considered standard operating procedure by now. This was put by me in the site's queue awhile back; the specific reasons why are hazy by now. Certainly, there was no foreknowledge of this story; thus, what a surprise it was to witness a dark, dark tale involving:

Murders
Abductions
Abuse, including sexual
Aliases
Bad events happening to children

I'll be vague for those that want to check this out fresh like I did, somehow avoiding the hype when this released four years ago. The opening is a young woman named Tonya Hughes passing away in Oklahoma in 1990. There is much more to the story after that; all I'll reveal is that this blonde lady was smart and generous, making many friends along the way, and they were interviewed to express this opinion. She had an impact on a number of lives, making her ultimate fate all the more tragic. One man you'll despise-for good reason-as he committed vile acts for decades. Thankfully this monster is now deceased, passing away after the release of Girl in the Picture.

As harrowing as this journey is for the viewer and as many times as you'll say “WTF?” through the duration, nice people are interviewed throughout... from friends and family to law enforcement determined to solve the mysteries (yes, more than one) surrounding this sordid case. That helped make this a worthwhile trip to take, one which isn't punishing or seems like an endurance test.

Skye Borgman has made several popular documentaries for Netflix; I was delighted to have finally viewed one. Her niche is “WTF documentaries,” at least judged by the plot synopsis of the others.

The First Deadly Sin

The First Deadly Sin (1980)

Runtime: 112 minutes

Directed by: Brian G. Hutton

Starring: Frank Sinatra, Faye Dunaway, David Dukes, George Coe, Brenda Vaccaro

From: Artanis Productions, Inc./Filmways Productions

The First Deadly Sin is a Christmas movie.

I’ve known of this motion picture for years; when it recently played on Turner Classic Movies, a DVR recording was made. Frank Sinatra (in his final starring role) in a crime thriller where he is nearing retirement and investigates what he believes is a serial killer… “color me intrigued” was my opinion all those years.

Now, I can say the film is fine; it’s not the best police procedural of its era-and heck, Sinatra’s 1968 movie where he portrays a similar character (The Detective) is better yet was still interesting. He’s a Sergeant a few weeks from retirement, which usually portends doom in entertainment. The viewer knows who the killer is immediately-we get to see the lead do the standard groundwork to crack the case, despite the protests of his new A-hole boss. I know how some feel about cops in general-I’m sure you’ll question how Ol’ Blue Eyes doesn’t follow the rules, bribes Joe Spinell to enter a suspect’s apartment, & uses civilians instead of his colleagues to do the groundwork in determining the murder weapon (which is on the poster but I won’t reveal here as the ID of the weapon is a subplot) and whittling down the list of suspects.

Yet, it’s not a character you hate; no one believes there is a serial killer due to his moving around different boroughs in New York City-necessitating this lone wolf quest-he has a loving wife in Faye Dunaway, has a tuxedo cat named Rocky, and who doesn’t want to see a crazed serial killer be stopped? We don’t know much about David Dukes as the villain except that I was reminded of Patrick Bateman, only on a surface level as the bad guy has a nice job & nicer apartment but is mentally ill but can hide it or no one notices he is troubled.

Seeing Sinatra in a film like this-where the opening is straight out of a horror film-was wild. He was swell as the weary, weathered cop who wants to solve this case before he retires. Faye Dunaway as the wife… I won’t say the role is thankless as they do have a nice, caring relationship but she is bedridden w/ illness the entire picture. The cast is fine; Anthony Zerbe has a one scene cameo & other faces I knew (sometimes “That Guy” actors) included Brenda Vaccaro, Jeffrey DeMunn, George Coe, Martin Gabel and James Whitmore, he playing the typical coroner w/ a pitch-black sense of humor. 

Yes, I also knew for ages that Bruce Willis appeared for a second; it’s in the third act, as Frankie leaves a restaurant-Bruce is walking in but much of his face is obscured by a hat so you’ll miss him unless you know this detail.

This is another film featuring a methodical pace which naturally won’t appeal to everyone. However, I enjoyed this downbeat flick directed by Brian G. Hutton, his first film in 7 years. This project was in development for a long while. In fact, the original director was… Polanski. However, his legal problems and subsequent fleeing of the United States happened so that had to change. Only speaking of him as a director and not a person, who knows how different this movie would have been. As is, Hutton did a good job here.