Ninja Terminator

Ninja Terminator (1985)

Runtime: 88 mesmerizing minutes

Directed by: Godfrey Ho... well, part of it at least

Starring: Richard Harrison (RIP), Jack Lam, Hwang Jan-Lee, Phillip Ko Fai, Jonathan Wattis

From: IFD Films & Arts, Ltd.

RIP Richard Harrison

Wednesday night, it was announced that Harrison had passed away Friday the 18th at the age of 90. Somehow, despite my viewings of many films from Italy, the Philippines & other countries, this was my first film of his. He made many dozens of B-movies (and lower-grade) for decades; due in part to meme reasons, Ninja Terminator is one of his most (in)famous movies now, which coincides w/ its status as one of the most (in)famous pictures from Godfrey Ho.

As with many of his pictures, footage from a foreign picture was taken and combined w/ footage filmed by Ho-usually of ninjas. In this case, it's the 1984 Korean flick Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry. This was combined-awkwardly, as you'd expect from the blending of two completely different pictures-with a tale revolving around ninjas fighting over a magical Buddha statue. The Korean footage has an onslaught of taekwon-action (to borrow a phrase from the City on Fire website) while the new footage is charming in its own way—this includes toy robots delivering important messages & Harrison wearing eyeliner when he's adorned in ninja garb.

An important detail to note is that a rare widescreen copy of Nina Terminator is available on YouTube; sure, the picture is pillarboxed on all four sides but is still of course preferable to the fullscreen version. Well, in the comments of the video, a true hero known as redcomet_622 created a list identifying most of the songs that appear throughout. It's at the end of the review, as there are MANY stolen songs throughout. It's everything from Japanese soundtrack tunes, Lalo Schifrin, and many Isao Tomita songs to Jean-Michel Jarre, multiple tunes from Wendy Carlos' A Clockwork Orange score, and most famously, Echoes from Pink Floyd. While all illegal, it was a GREAT soundtrack/score someone compiled.

While a mess narrative-wise, Ninja Terminator is a trashy good time. The Korean action is quality, the new action is fine in a different fashion, and if you don't try to scrutinize the story too closely... you might have a good time.

Three final notes:

Uninvited Guest of the Star Ferry was feared to be a lost film; however, Neon Eagle included it as an extra on their Blu release of Ninja Terminator... in December they'll release it on its own.

From reviews, I know the film includes a song not present here... Kenny Loggins' Footloose!

Oh, and this is the source of those GARFIELD PHONE memes from the past. It is in fact demented genius that Ho decided to have Harrison engage in several important phone conversations while talking on a novelty telephone of an iconic comic strip character where its eyes would open when the handle is off the receiver. It's that, the music, the action, and the wackiness which helped elevate this for me.

 

Here's that aforementioned list of songs:

0:00, 1:03:52 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Base Machine Works (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:32, 33:46, 39:06, 48:20 Toshiyuki Daitoku and De Cat - Showdown Daba · My Road (Jam Trip L Gaim LP)
1:39, 32:41, 39:14 Moving Still - Chris and Cosey
2:06 Isao Tomita - Strong Electronic Light Waves
2:16 Isao Tomita - Round Spaceship Landing On the Earth
2:57 Isao Tomita - Venus Wearing The Space Uniform
3:09 Isao Tomita - Dororo
4:28 Pat Metheny Group - Extent of The Lie
4:34 Tangerine Dream – Thru Metaphoric Rocks
7:07, 7:35 Chumei Watanabe - Roaming (Jaspion OST)
7:12 Hiroya Watanabe - Tsuiseki Soshite Massatsu (Cosmo Police Justy OST)
7:21 Kei Wakakusa - Attack (Godmars OST)
10:36,12:19 Chumei Watanabe - Metal Tech · Suit (Jaspion OST)
11:38, 38:45 Talizman - I Must Go (Locke the Superman OST)
13:08 ?
14:45 Pink Floyd - Echoes
16:20 John Neschilling - Pixote Theme
17:39 Lalo Schifrin - Fast Moves (Battle Creek Brawl OST)
19:43 - 22:21 ? 24:44 Holger Czykay - On The Way to The Peak of Being Normal
26:09 Isao Tomita - The Planets: Mars, The Bringer of War
27:23 - 29:18,1:04:48 Steve Hillage - Sea Nature/ Steve Hillage - Ether Ships
30:06 Logic System - Venus
31:41 Mandingo - War Dance
34:21, 1:14:06 Logic System - I Love You
34:55 Jerry Goldsmith - The Hostage (Outland OST)
35:09,1:23:27 The Slipstream Group ‎– Forest Of Evil
40:05 , 1:11:15 Chumei Watanabe - The Enemy (Jaspion OST)
41:06, 51:50, 1:12:03 Chumei Watanabe - Change for Daileon (Jaspion OST)
44:19 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
45:39 Jerry Fielding - The Delivery (The Gauntlet OST)
45:57 Logic System - Metamorphism
47:38 Wendy Carlos - Clockwork Orange theme
49:41 Ennio Morricone - Violent City
50:07, 1:05:10 Talizman - Recollection (Locke the Superman OST)
50:47 Fifty Guitars - Sevilla Nights (Cover of Santa Esmerelda's Sevilla Nights)
51:16 Jean Michel Jarre - Zoolookologie
52:14, 53:58 The Love Unlimited Orchestra - The Rip (Together Brothers OST)
54:19 Chumei Watanabe - Galaxy Bible (Jaspion OST)
54:49 Jerry Goldsmith - The Rec Room (Outland OST)
59:01, 59:21 Chumei Watanabe - Desperate War (Jaspion OST)
1:00:33 Wendy Carlos - Timesteps (Clockwork Orange)
1:07:19 Film Sounds Orchestra - Violent City (Cover of Ennio Morricone's Violent City)
1:08:53 James Horner - Battle In The Mutara Nebula (Star Trek II OST)
1:09:36 Mandingo - Invocation to the Gods
1:13:00, 1:20:32, 1:22:31 Steve Hillage - Crystal City
1:13:58, 1:14:37, 1:15:14, 1:21:08 Tim Blake - Synthese Intemporelle
1:15:25 Keith Emerson - Main Title (Nighthawks OST)
1:23:27 Slipstream Group - Forest of Evil (De Wolfe Music Library)
1:24:43 Steve Hillage - Glorious Om Riff
1:25:30 Jean Michel Jarre - Ethnicolor
1:26:05 Logic System - Prophet
1:26:19 Logic System - Metamorphism

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1936)

Runtime: 68 minutes

Directed by: George King

Starring: Tod Slaughter, Stella Rho, John Singer, Eve Lister, Bruce Seton

From: George King Productions

I finally experienced a piece of media concerning Sweeney Todd. Via cultural osmosis (including the Stephen Sondheim/Hugh Wheeler musical that Tim Burton adapted for the screen) I know that Todd was a fictional character from the Penny Dreadful genre efforts that was printed cheaply for the working class in 19th century UK residents. I knew he was a killer and there were meat pies-this macabre detail understandably was excluded from this film-but research told me that this adaptation does have the supporting characters Ms. Lovett (i.e. Lovatt here), love interest Johanna Oakley, & orphan boy apprentice Tobias Ragg, along with his magic chair.

Also a treat was seeing British stage Tod Slaughter as the titular character. In 2024 I saw him in the UK melodrama The Face at the Window; it was great learning about a hammy melodrama actor not afraid to literally be a cackling villain gleefully over the top. He was the same here in a film that had less horror elements than expected but was still a fine 68 minutes. 

The presence of a framing story was the biggest shock. A gonzo barber in 1936 excitedly tells his customer the story of Sweeney Todd, a barber who kills for money and Ragg is his 8th apprentice in 8 weeks.
He is next door to a Ms. Lovatt; meanwhile, a Mark is romancing Johanna but her father is a rich A-hole who hates that Mark is poor so he's off on a mercantile ship. He acquires wealth in Africa (long story involving natives; that wasn't as offensive as I had first feared) and returns to London.

Sweeney Todd's a fine production, from the sets to the acting, the score and everything else. However, it was Slaughter as the titular character that was the highlight. Todd literally cackles at points; not every villain needs to be OOT but in melodramas like this, someone devouring the scenery is delightful. While I'm pretty sure there are better adaptations of the source material and there isn't much in the way of horror scares, the 1936 film was still fun in a histrionic way.

Hope

Hope (2026)

Somehow, 78% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 157 reviews) 

Runtime: Somehow, 157 minutes!

Directed by: Na Hong-jin

Starring: Various Korean actors I somehow didn't recognize, plus somehow both Michael Fassbender and Alicia Vikander

From: Neon released this in the United States

Why can’t there be a site like Does the Dog Die, except that it concerns foul language in movies, and how much of it (including F bombs) is in a particular film? Despite having almost 6,000 (!) followers on Letterboxd, I neither have the time nor resources to start such a project myself. It would have made me not both w/ the new Resident Evil nor this new Korean film from Na Hong-jin, despite being a big fan of his The Chaser and The Wailing, and my puzzlement that this has involvement from several Western actors, most notably the husband-and-wife duo of Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander. I hope they were financially compensated quite well.

I had no idea that Resident Evil and this would share various similarities. Both have idiotic leads; in this case, it’s the police Chief of a small town who is such a dumbass, he doesn’t have a clue how many fellow officers he has in his department! Hope has multiple intolerable characters, all of whom start cursing and they all increase their swearing until it’s nonstop in the final act. I couldn’t care less about any of these jackasses, nor the rancid “humor” in the film that’s also unnecessary. No kidding, a random old dude shows up to deliver an important speech that felt like it was 10 minutes long… revolving around witnessing something while he’s taking a massive diarrhea dump in the woods!

Not even that was the worst aspect of Hope. Even worse than the brutal length of 2 ½ hours, the cursing, the illogic, the stupidity, the failed unnecessary comedy, & even the incredibly awful final 10 minutes that was just mind-boggling in how baffling & laughable it was; no, the worst aspect was how ATROCIOUS the effects were.

It’s CG that would have looked bad a quarter-century ago! What felt like the opening half hour had the big killing machine not shown on camera-just its destruction. I was already not liking the film at that point and there was irritation that they were prolonging the first reveal.
Finally, this indestructible force appeared, and… the initial reaction was laughter as it was just laughable, the appearance was so goofy. Boy, did I regret my desire to see the monster!

Then I saw it in motion, and Holy Crap was that the realization of how bad the CG was, especially in motion. By the conclusion, I was reminded of An American Werewolf in Paris-there is a film you always want to be reminded of! What I’m referring to is how often the CG is shown despite its wretched appearance. They aren’t afraid to display these creatures-indestructible beyond belief-as if they thought their janky, goofy appearance was somehow acceptable in a movie that was released worldwide, including plenty of screens in America. This was on IMAX screens, for crying out loud! I shudder how the CG looked on one of those screens.

Hope had plot armor for some of our heroes that was almost as strong as for the indestructible villains. I could possibly go on for far longer concerning what this movie got wrong-pacing, logic, world-building, how award-winning and nominated actors Michael Fassbender & Alicia Vikander looked as their characters, etc.-but this was another case of the wrong movie on the wrong night for me. Not everything was wretched—the score wasn’t bad, the cinematography had nice moments and the production did a swell job constructing the fake village.

However, the totality of this bloated picture was so aggravating, so disappointing, such a waste of time-where even the action scenes are way too long-I felt forced to go Scorched Earth and give my lowest-possible rating. I'm glad that many enjoyed this far more than I. Hopefully it'll be a long while before a controversial review will have to be written. My next review should be of an older film that likely won't result in a bitter aftertaste.

 

I Saw the New Resident Evil... Unfortunately

 

Perhaps I should finally give up on Modern Horror in general… for certain, I will give up on Zach Cregger for good.

After not viewing any films Sunday night, a double-header was held at a cinema last night; Wednesday night will be the review for the other picture-one I hated even more than this! For the newer followers: most modern horror does nothing for me. This includes Obsession and Backrooms, which I both strongly disliked on a fundamental level. Also, I’ve grown more and more tired of foul language, and how it’s incessant in most R-rated movies for at least the past few years. Now, I skipped Weapons but the first two acts of Barbarian were entertaining… until the final act started poorly & it fell apart until an awful final 10 minutes.

I still have never played any Resident Evil game, so that has no bearing on my opinion. The rave reviews for this fooled me; Lord, I’ve been fooled WAY too often when it comes to “popular modern horror” that’s beloved by most on Letterboxd. No offense to anyone, but that is on me as I should learn my lesson and just avoid these stupid Gen-Z films (horror or otherwise) starring an insufferable, idiotic, incompetent protagonist--Johnny Dumb**** in this case, or whatever his name was. Johnny is a courier who has to deliver something to a hospital in Raccoon City.

Johnny constantly screws up and can’t perform simple tasks correctly. He can’t even speak correctly, given his constant cursing, especially the torrent of F-bombs that never cease, which is just like the stupid inane comments this emasculated dork says to himself that never cease. Am I supposed to LIKE this loser? As the viewer follows only him throughout, that was a huge problem for me. So was not liking anyone else we see.

And also, another huge issue was that this almost constantly has “comedy”… not only was it unnecessary, most of it made me groan rather than laugh. It was all just so stupid and not enjoyable; I’ve long since grown tired of unnecessary “humor” in modern cinema. Let’s not even get started on some of the all-time terrible bits of dialogue or blatant ripoffs/homages of moments from actual great horror of the 80’s. Yes, there were OOT gross gory moments but I need more than that. The film is not lit poorly, the snowy landscape is cool and the synth score from Hays & Ryan Holladay was delightful. Otherwise, this is yet another piece of modern horror that failed on a vital level, at least according to my tastes.

It stinks that for years, most Modern Horror is anathemic to my brain, requiring more effort to track down films I enjoy-which I tend to enjoy more than the majority of Letterboxd users. As hated at this comment will be, the goofy 2002 Resident Evil movie was a better time; at least the characters weren’t imbecilic idiots, incompetent jackasses that never shut up.

If you think I went Scorched Earth on Resident Evil 2026, wait until you read the review I’ll post about 24 hours from now!

The Transporter

The Transporter (2002)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Corey Yuen… and Louis Leterrier

Starring: Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Francois Bereland, Matt Schulze, Ric Young

From: Several European companies, including Eurocorp

 I had a STATHAM SATURDAY by revisiting The Transporter, not viewed in many years. The sequels have never been viewed full-stop (including The Transporter Refueled; who even remembers that was a thing?) yet 2026 seemed like a good time to discuss this nonsense here. Yes, the movie is flashy, absurd, bold… like either the Hong Kong pictures of old or Indian films of recent times.

Now, I can appreciate such things more than at the time. Statham is Frank Martin, former Special Forces dudes who transports people or items in a sweet 1999 BMW 7-series. He has a list of rules… first is “never change the terms of the deal.” Trouble begins once he discovers the contents of a duffel bag is a young lady, Shu Qi. Yes, he does start breaking his rules; the plot isn’t complex but it did not need to be one.

Monsieur Frank was an entertaining badass, wrecking dudes in a fun fashion. I recently mentioned that it’d be nice for Statham to be in more films that were comedic, or at least were light in time… The Transporter is the latter. Now, Americans can only experience comedic Statham… by seeing him in Discover credit card commercials! Shu Qi was fun in her role, as was Francois Bereland as the police Inspector Frank is pals with. It was also nice seeing reliable faces like Ric Young & Matt Schulze. 

These days, I have more respect for the early 21st century action as presented here-perhaps it was a bit TOO flashy at times but it feels fresh in ’26 between the editing, funky score from Stanley Clarke, and the slippery final act. The action beats still satisfy. This was fun poppycock set & filmed in the south of France. Luc Besson as a person evidently has a terrible flaw or two; him in cinema has created distinctive films, whether as a director, writer, or producer—he has the latter two roles here.

Perhaps one day in the far-future the sequels will finally be given a shot by me. On its own, The Transporter is a fun slice of Euro-action, barely over an hour and a half.

Martin

Martin (1977)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: George A. Romero

Starring: John Amplas, Lincoln Maazel, Christine Forrest,  Elayne Nadeau, Tom Savini

From: Laurel Productions

As I plan on viewing a few George A. Romero movies from now until Halloween, perhaps the first film should have been viewed & reviewed before the latter half of September. Regardless, I’m glad to have “found a copy” of Martin awhile ago. I don’t know if producer Richard Rubinstein is responsible for there not being a copy of the movie available for streaming like he famously does w/ Americans not being able to domestically stream or own a physical media HD release of Dawn of the Dead unless you import it, but…

The titular Martin is a gangly youth who believes he’s a vampire. He sexually assaults then kills a lady on a train as he travels to Pittsburgh. That’s awful, but tragic is that Martin behaves this way as his elderly relative TATA CUDA not only believes in the old tradition of vampires, but that it runs in the family & Martin is one, often referring to him as Nosferatu! What misfortune then that Martin is now living w/ Tata and his relative Christina.

There is ambiguity… black-and-white footage is seen; after it’s used the first time as a fantasy, the rest is either other fantasies or Martin’s actual flashbacks. Whether he’s actually a vampire (one not in a traditional sense… he walks in the daytime and consumes food & drink) who was born in the 1890’s or a youth losing his battle w/ mental illness, his drugging victims, sexually assaulting women, slicing their wrists, & murdering them is utterly horrifying, totally monstrous behavior from him. Also certain is that Martin is socially awkward, a lonely isolated person wishing to connect, to have normal relationships with human beings.

This is a unique take on the vampire mythos-unromantic-where the gritty low-budget filmmaking was an asset, presenting the gritty Pittsburgh suburb of Braddock as a dreary, depressed area. The cast of locals all did fine, especially John Amplas as the title character, Lincoln Maazel as Tata, & Elyane Nadeau as bored housewife Abbie, who Martin develops a relationship with. Tom Savini also had an acting role which coincided w/ the effects he provided for the film, early in his career.

Martin’s a downbeat, somber 70’s film concerning a depressed character. I never wavered in my interest concerning the plot; the attack scenes plus the potent ending made this journey a rewarding one. More than one Romero zombie picture will be reviewed in the upcoming weeks; I was happy to finally check out a movie that will be different from the others that will be on this year’s Spooky Season list.

Used Cars

Used Cars (1980)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Robert Zemeckis

Starring: Kurt Russell, Jack Warden, Gerrit Graham (RIP), Frank McRae, Deborah Harmon

From: Columbia 

RIP Gerrit Graham

I did not view any films last night; nothing was planned for this afternoon so a planned watch was set up… until looking at Twitter & seeing the announcement that he passed away on Tuesday at the age of 76. Some of his films have been viewed over the years; it was always a delight to see him in a Child’s Play 2 or a Demon Seed. Personally, him as BEEF in Phantom of the Paradise was hysterical. Despite knowing of Used Cars for years, it had never been seen by me. However, the movie’s free for me on Prime so it seemed an apt choice as Graham had a major role.

This is a rather dark comedy concerning feuding used car dealers that are across the street from each other in the Phoenix, Arizona region. Roy Fuchs (Jack Warden) is a high-end sleazy dealer while his brother Luke (also Warden) is more honest but their cars are piles of junk so his employees-Kurt Russell… no relation & Graham-are sleazy. There’s unethical behavior from the beginning, which increases tenfold after a major event. Roy is obsessed w/ acquiring his brother’s land while Russell’s Rudy Russo really wants the cash to enter an even more dishonest profession.

Used Cars is absurd, vulgar, crass… and often hysterical in its absurdity. It was a delight to see these disreputable characters engage in increasingly outrageous scenarios. The important detail is that these characters are all enjoyable rather than irritating A-holes that you can’t stand… even during the picture’s most off-color moments. The quality of cast happens: Russell, Graham & his superstitious character, Jack Warden, the foul-mouthed Frank McRae, Joe Flaherty, Michael McKean, Michael Talbott, Dub Taylor, & others. There’s an awesome dog named Toby, + a cameo from a beloved cult actor.

It's wild that the film is from Robert Zemeckis. He and Bob Gale learned of a script about used cars from John Milius; they modified it to this insanity. That’s why the two executive producers were Milius… and Spielberg! This is the type of comedy that of course we haven’t seen made in many years. The charm of Russell and the yelling of McRae were of course great assets but so was the crazy character Graham brought to life. He’s someone who was on screen, on stage, wrote scripts, and even co-authored the song Victim or the Crime, which appeared on the 1989 Grateful Dead album Built to Last. He knew Bob Weir for years, you see.

While I’m bummed he passed away, this was a great way to tip my cap to the late Gerrit Graham. I recommend you do so if you aren’t allergic to vulgar comedies.