Runtime: 91 long minutes
"Directed" by: Marc Klasfeld
"Starring": Adeline Rudolph, Jake Manley, Nicholas Hamilton, Francesca Reale, Javier Botet
From: Lionsgate!
It’s also good advice: Do Not Enter the world of this movie!
By now I’ve heard many bad things about this film from Lionsgate that was dumped on Prime; however, the detail that this is based on the novel Creepers by David Morrell (! Yes, the dude who wrote First Blood) made me curious. Curiosity definitely killed the cast in this case.
From a popular review on Letterboxd from someone I don’t follow, many changes were made from page to screen. The book didn’t include Gen-Z asstagonists as our urban explorer leads. These bozos (including a guy I’ll call Temu Austin Butler) are YouTubers, although not even successful YouTubers. Given how unlikable they are, no wonder. They can’t even find success after discovering alleged Basquiat graffiti. Well, they and a Vice News reporter (!!)-the novel did come out in 2014-visit an abandoned hotel purportedly containing the missing money of real-life gambler/gangster Meyer Lansky.
The movie is just wretched. Do Not Enter is as “scary” as a basket full of fluffy kittens, is the entertainment equivalent of soma pills when it isn’t insufferable, it was impossible to even somewhat like any of the characters besides the reporter until villains that are even worse show up, and they rip off ideas from much better horror pictures. This includes the actual big bad that has killed previous visitors, and of course wasn’t in the novel either. The climax was not only WTF, but also pathetic.
I could dwell on Do Not Watch-how the place has no electricity (most of the movie is dimly-lit, which sadly is a common modern genre problem) yet security cameras are running… or how a key character survived a fall from a great height, or how insulting the scene after the climax was. Instead, one solace I can take for viewing a crummy motion picture: warning others to stay away. I know it dropped 5 months ago but don’t watch this at Halloween-or any other time of year-as it’s not even a funny sort of bad.
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