Heavy Traffic

Heavy Traffic (1973)

Runtime: 76 minutes

Directed by: Ralph Bakshi

Starring: This is an animated feature w/ live action moments & interludes

From: AIP

Have I grown too old or too jaded for Ralph Bakshi movies? Or is it just that some elements have aged like milk? Perhaps it’s all of the above but the last viewing of this (which had to be at least a decade and a half ago) left me with more positive opinion than the take I have after finally having the opportunity to discuss this here. For the record, Fritz the Cat I enjoy despite its puerile and sometimes sloppy nature, while Coonskin was just off-putting due to the plot and the stereotypes. Here, we follow a character named MICHAEL CORLEONE, as Bakshi hates The Mafia and by extension, The Godfather.

Michael is an artist in NYC who lives with his parents and eventually starts dating a Black bartender. Throughout we see plenty of real footage blended in w/ the animation, which includes Michael in flesh & blood playing a game of pinball. Plenty of symbolism is present; unfortunately, there is also plenty of stereotypes. This includes Italian, Jewish people, Blacks, and yeah, a trans person… or at least a man who presents themselves as a woman but has not transitioned. This person is a barfly and they romance a man without him knowing the truth—not the greatest stereotype to see in 2023.

There’s also plenty of nudity, blood, and language-I had no memory of so many N-bombs being dropped. The reasons why I can give this a “fine” rating: some of the animation was interesting, as was the live-action footage & how it was integrated into the end product. However, the true highlight was both the funky score from Ed Bogas & Ray Shanklin and a soundtrack that had everyone from Sergio Mendes & Chuck Berry to Dave Brubeck and The Isley Brothers—it was fire, in other words.

As I stated in my review of Heavy Metal, adult cartoons of the past that were designed chiefly to be bold due to their focus on boobs, violence, sex, and language… it doesn’t seem as impressive if you’ve seen any anime; even if only a tiny fraction has been experienced (the same boat I’m in), the stories and animation just seems better. If you want thrills that are taboo-and that’s not counting the tentacle stuff!-that field has films like this and Heavy Metal utterly vanquished. Then again, plenty like this film more than I do so don’t just read my opinion if you’re undecided on Heavy Traffic.

The Way of the Dragon

The Way of the Dragon (1972)

Runtime: 100 minutes

Directed by: Bruce Lee

Starring: Lee, Nora Miao, Ping-Ou Wei, Chung-Hsin Huang, Chuck Norris

From: Golden Harvest

As me paying tribute to the 50th anniversary of Bruce Lee’s death… I should have revisited Enter the Dragon instead. Surprisingly, I never saw much on the Internet concerning Lee passing away on July 20, 1973. As stated before, it is weird how Bruce and his son Brandon died young due to unusual circumstances—yet there is no curse in that bloodline nor do I believe the Triads murdered the former. Bruce died from an allergic reaction that made his brain swell; although, after the fact there are rumors that there also was heat stroke or an illness caused by a lack of sodium.

In any event, there is regret that I can’t give rave reviews to the only full movie Lee directed on such a big anniversary of a legendary figure that’s reached mythical status due to the incredible feats he did or was said to have done… lying about my opinions would be worse so honesty has to win today. This is far from the most blasphemous film-related comment I’ve made just on Letterboxd, but the incredible lengthy finale between Lee and Chuck Norris is the one highlight the film offers and that can be found on YouTube.

Otherwise, it’s a basic story although that is acceptable when it sounds like a bread-and-butter formula of “Lee goes to Rome, Italy as family run a Chinese restaurant there but they refuse to capitulate to a “crime boss” (i.e. The Mob) so Bruce kicks all their asses” but yikes does this have problems. The action and characters are fine, although neither is as good as Enter the Dragon or Fist of Fury. What greatly hampers the movie is the “comedy”; this has plenty of that and much of it was just bad to me. After all, an important trait of our hero is that he either has bladder control problems or is incontinent as he uses the bathroom frequently! This is the type of “humor” the viewer is subjected to. The score is best described as “seems like it was borrowed from a Carry On movie”.

I honestly could not believe how turned off I was by that, or how painful the first act was as it was full of “comedy” and constructing the plot/characters… not to mention how it was awful on the technical side; that’s editing, camera placement, pacing, usage of stock footage, etc. The laughs we get from many Jackie Chan pictures, this was not. No kidding, this opening act even features the Sad Trombone “wah wah, wah wahhhhh” sound effect! Let’s not even discuss how an extra in this film is someone I had never even heard of until Wikipedia last night, but I know that John Derbyshire is an old dude who is in journalism, has written about computers/mathematics, has won awards... and is also a WHITE SUPREMACIST. I can’t blame the movie for that as this revelation came 40 years after The Way of the Dragon was released.

In any case, it’s a tragedy that Bruce Lee passed away so young; he left us only a tiny body of work so there isn’t much for me to see that hasn’t been written about on Letterboxd before. I’d have been better off watching Enter the Dragon again and only posting something short about it now as what I originally wrote a few years ago I’m still satisfied with.

 

More Buster Keaton to Discuss

This time, it was 1921's The Play House, 24 minutes in length: 

An enjoyable Keaton short--with a regrettable element. It fit my schedule best to view something not feature length last night, and as someone I follow on Letterboxd recently gave a review, might as well do likewise. The most important detail to note right away: not only is there a scene featuring blackface, it was Keaton himself who put on the shoe polish. The Criterion Channel (where this was viewed) at least warned everyone this would be an element. This horribly dated element proves to be a minor and brief element anyhow.

Then again, this starts off with a scene at a variety show where Buster plays every performer AND every person in the audience… man, woman, or child. According to Wikipedia, Keaton had an ankle injury at the time so the humor here isn’t about pratfalls but instead used cinematic tricks & other techniques to entertain. As he was such a talented performer, The Play House still entertains. That aforementioned Wikipedia article also elaborates upon how we see nine versions of Buster on screen at the same time; it does impress for a product over a century old.

Anyhow, that variety show only is the first few minutes of The Play House. The rest won’t be revealed, except that this goes in unexpected directions and is the strangest product I’ve seen Keaton in. After all, one gag is only fully understood if you know that the Zouave were a class of light infantry regiments that were all over the world but were predominately in North Africa. It’s a curio for Buster fans and as long as you know it doesn’t have any bonkers stunts or pratfalls, you can still be satisfied.

The Exterminator

The Exterminator (1980)

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: James Glickenhaus

Starring: Robert Ginty, Samantha Eggar, Christopher George, Steve James, Tony DiBenedetto

From: Interstar

There is a guy who looked like a combination of Triple H and Bruce Springsteen! OK, I should actually lead off with the notice that there’s an implied dog death, as that’s a deal-breaker for some. OR, I could mention that the biggest laugh came right at the beginning when I saw that TROMA now owns the rights to the movie—and that is actually appropriate for the company. OR, that this literally starts off w/ a bang via a Vietnam flashback where explosions right by a helicopter made me panic for real… see Morrow, Vic.

In any event, despite my occasional journeys into the land of sleaze & trash, somehow last night was my first experience w/ The Exterminator. Now I can say… I did not love or even was as amused with the movie as many others apparently are. Furthermore, between this and The Soldier, director James Glickenhaus apparently isn’t for me. That doesn’t mean that one day I won’t review Jackie Chan’s The Protector, but it’s something I’m more wary of now. For those that are Prime members, this is an exclusive title on that platform.

Charisma machine-yes, this is sarcasm-Robert Ginty plays a Vietnam vet who snaps after his best friend is maimed by a gang known as the Ghetto Ghouls. As it’s hinted at he is affected w/ what is known now as PTSD, he abruptly decides to go after this gang… and also any other punks in the Scummy New York City of Old. Times Square and other trashy locations are seen throughout; in the former, the viewer not only sees a theatre marquee for 1979’s Firepower (starring James Coburn and, ahem, OJ Simpson) but also an adult stage show that presents SEXTACULAR ACTS. 

In addition, Christopher George is a cop investigating these vigilante attacks, although for some reason he’s more preoccupied with romancing doctor Samantha Eggar. Not that his attraction to Eggar is unwarranted; rather, it’s the romance that’s shoehorned in and feels like something from an entirely different picture that I take objection to. Direction and editing wise, this is a bad movie; The Exterminator grinds to a halt at certain points. It wasn’t the sort of inept like Samurai Cop where I howl with laughter often at how poorly it was made; that said, some of the amusement did come from how shoddy this production was. Hell, Disco Inferno plays during one scene and it is NOT the one where Ginty uses a flamethrower.

On the other side of the coin, the movie does have OOT deaths where repugnant human beings are killed in gruesome ways. A mobster is one thing—a pedophile is a whole ‘nother level of trash. This and the dark tone does provide the trashy thrills for those w/ discerning tastes. There are other trashterpieces I prefer to this but due to its reputation, no regrets with this experience. BTW, I understand that The Exterminator 2 is best left ignored. Ultimately, this may have been better if George or co-star Steve James had been The Exterminator instead, but alas…

Howard the Duck is Still a Good Time

This is what I learned last night: 

A Howard the Duck reboot could save Marvel, LucasFilm AND Disney… OK, probably not. Yet, all three entities have done so poorly the past few years, why the heck not? Disney has fallen so far that people didn’t believe that on-set photos from next year’s Snow White were actually legit, due to there being no dwarfs and instead a bunch of people in silly clothing. But there are plenty of people who have rang the death knell for these companies in recent years so instead I’ll move on.

Howard the Duck I saw more than once as a kid and I even reviewed it 5 years ago. The reason why another take was posted today: last night I discovered that the UHD/HDR version of the movie is on Prime, free for me until the end of the month. Yes, Howard the Duck has enough fans where a 4K disc release happened in 2021.

I’ve never read the comic but understand it was meant for adults. Why they tried to gear it towards adults, families and children… no wonder this is a mess. It has some silly moments and a few over the top performances (I am looking at you, Tim Robbins) but among other issues, the movie is incredibly HORNY. The nadir of that was the all-time WTF scene where Lea Thompson teases an interspecies relationship between her and Howard! In addition there’s women’s biker gang known as SATAN’s SLUTS and the opening features DUCK BOOBS. Yes, Mom saw this movie too during my youth and she liked it herself. Of course, as an adult I chortle as this and other similar bizarre movies that could only have come from the coke-fueled 80’s, where people “did too much toot”, to quote an actual line from this motion picture.

Be that as it may, Howard the Duck is not a product that I hate despite all its faults. Nostalgia is an influence but the film is never not watchable for me. The noir dialogue that is present a few times (because it’s canon, so I understand) amuses me now. The plot is one where the fate of the world is at stake and the final act is an overblown spectacle involving a Marvel character… more than two decades before the MCU began. Lea Thompson as an “80’s rocker chick” is more appealing to me as an adult then as a child… but despite him being a bad person in real life (use Google if you are not familiar w/ his crimes), Jeffrey Jones delivered the best performance as a scientist who eventually becomes possessed.

As someone who grew up watching films w/ practical effects, it was charming to see plenty of those on display—even if at times they were really flexing and went overboard a tad. Perhaps a 2023 blockbuster wouldn’t have a standout scene in a “Cajun sushi” restaurant but perhaps I’m wrong because I avoid most modern blockbusters… as this is from George Lucas of course all the might from ILM were involved so most of the effects still hold up; even Phil Tippett was a contributor. By the way, remember when THIS was the most embarrassing product from LucasFilm?

The score from John Barry was fine but the soundtrack was fire; it was from Thomas Dolby and Lea Thompson even provided her own vocals for some catchy earworms. As for the title track, even George Clinton was involved, which is awesome. The entire product isn’t technically great yet at least in part due to how of its time it was, I can derive enjoyment from the era when we can get bizarre blockbusters like Howard the Duck.

Deep Blood

Deep Blood (Sangue Negli Abissi) (1989)

Runtime: 94 rather dull minutes

Directed by: Joe D’Amato/Raffele Donato

Starring: A bunch of actors no one has heard of along with a married couple w/ ties to The Beatles & their appearance on the Ed Sullivan Show!

From: Filmirage/Variety Film Production

Did ChatGPT travel back in time and write this script?! Until this was added to Arrow’s streaming site recently, I had never heard of this motion picture before. Their overhyping of the movie plus the amusement of this being a production from sleazemeister Joe D’Amato intrigued me. Heck, it’s been a long while since I’ve seen a shark movie, The Meg’s sequel will be out soon and those that actually watch Shark Week, might as well, right? What a mistake I made with this stupefying film!

The opening scene is a quartet of young boys on a beach being met by an obviously white guy made up as a Native American and are given a wooden carving that is the key to stopping a Great White Shark that has plagued his tribe, which is then buried in the sand--after a blood oath! No, don’t ask me why it has to be a bunch of random white boys that is supposed to stop this menace rather than someone in the tribe.

After that, it’s a time-jump and the rest of the film is the quartet of young boys as a quartet of young men. Before that though, a mom is “attacked” by the shark… all the attacks are people diving down into the water and red-colored water suddenly appears. Much of the shark footage was taken from National Geographic, no lie. BTW, the same time the mom is “attacked”, her young son is snorkeling by her—only it is plain as day that he’s actually swimming in a pool! You can see the tiles and everything.

The reason why I speculate that The Entity traveled back in time to write crummy Italian ripoffs in a genre that had long ago faded from relevancy: the general idea of foes becoming friends to combat this menace is a sound one, and even all the drama that the main players deal with when it comes to family/their future/love interests should be a fine way to kill time. In execution… the acting is stilted due in part to the script and in part due to acting “talent”-many of whom had the charisma of a wet carrot (to borrow a phrase from someone in a non-movie context)-some horrifyingly bad dialogue, bizarre character statements/actions (especially concerning the town’s police chief, who is the polar opposite of Brody), a finale underwater that felt longer than all the footage under the sea from Thunderball, and some huge sins for those that had the expectations of an Italian shark movie containing much sleaze & gore.

Hold onto your hats: this had minimal gore and NO nudity! What mind-bendingly bizarre decisions that were made here; as in actuality I imagine the writing credits are legit and it wasn’t AI that time traveled, foolish humans decided that a dull movie full of unnatural dialogue featuring precious little of any shark action would be fit for release… Deep Blood-even the English title makes little sense; the original translated title is “Blood in the Abyss”, which is much better-isn’t even bonkers enough for viewing.

That is unless you’re really curious about a 60’s comedic duo that’s a footnote in history. For some reason, Charlie Brill and Mitzi McCall appear here as parents of a main lead. Brill you might recognize as Arne Darvin from an episode of Star Trek but the duo had the misfortune of appearing on the same episode of the Ed Sullivan Show that The Beatles made their initial appearance. Needless to say, no one remembers who else was on the episode.

 

The Hound of the Baskervilles (the 1939 version)

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939)

Runtime: 80 minutes

Directed by: Sidney Lanfield

Starring: Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce, Richard Greene, Wendy Barrie, Lionel Atwill

From: 20^th Century Fox

My first Basil Rathbone/Nigel Bruce Sherlock Holmes film… but not my last. Quite simply, recently I realized that I should watch this version of Sherlock Holmes as I’ve seen other takes on the character in my life, including Peter Cushing in The Hound of the Baskervilles 20 years later. Familiarity with that won’t breed contempt in this case.

For those unfamiliar, Holmes and Watson visit the estate of the Baskervilles as there is an alleged curse involving a hellhound that has lasted for generations and it has started claiming victims once more. The duo is there to investigate/protect the last living decedent of the family. The film introduces Holmes & Watson by presenting that while the latter is an observant fellow, the former is much more so due to logic and deductive reasoning.

The estate is in foggy, swampy, craggy moors which naturally leads to great atmosphere and mood; that was brought to life rather well by the film. The manor and its “dreadful eeriness” was apparent. It’s a compelling story that was quite enjoyable here due to the cast and direction; concerning the former, I was tremendously charmed by the lead duo and how while Holmes could be on the brusque side, he wasn’t an insufferable ass as has unfortunately happened in other interpretations. Rathbone is gone for a long stretch in the story yet that did not hinder the movie due to the story and also Bruce’s performance that is just as good as Basil’s.

They made fourteen of these movies starring those actors in those roles. Who knows when but in my future will be at least one more of these pictures.