Runtime: 88 minutes
Directed by: Michael Elliot
Starring: Sally Kirkland, Lynn Banashek, Sean Masterson, Michael O’Leary, Teal Roberts
From: Impact Films
Featuring Nancy Wilson, javelins, 80’s synth, 70’s soft rock, steroids & Margarita’s Mexican Restaurant
Next week sometime I’ll officially start the Spooky Season of viewing horror and related pictures for two months of late summer/early fall vibes up to Halloween. This isn’t part of that; rather, it’s a movie that would have been viewed right after the Olympics if not for the trip to Kansas. You see, the “Falcon Academy of Athletics” trains athletes in several different sports to compete in “The Nationals” for the chance to qualify for the Summer Olympics. To mention the balance beam in the room, no I have never viewed Graduation Day, an earlier slasher that from hearsay is rather similar to this.
The movie is quite stupid, this needs to be declared right away. After all, there’s a coach that coaches multiple disciplines, to list a minor example. The youths are all horny goofs-expect plenty of female nudity/men in their underwear in the opening act. This is nonsense where a mysterious person in a tracksuit and hoodie (which at least is sometimes shot rather well) is murdering members of that academy; there is someone who throws the javelin but is it a spoiler to suggest that’s a red herring?
If the viewer wishes for more than a javelin impaling the poor victims, you are out of luck. The movie is dull too often as these goofball young adults stress out about silly drama & life moments. Yet, I did not hate the movie. After all, there’s a subplot concerning the Academy doctors giving the athletes steroids and “hormones” because “the East Germans and Russians” are doing it also. Sad to say, the Communists did dope up their athletes at the time and I’m too cynical to believe that at least some Americans weren’t doing the same thing. It doesn’t really impact the plot too heavily but at least it was an accurate reminder of the sporting world at the time.
The villain and their motivations—what a plot point at this time in 2024, and those that don’t know what I’m referring to can read the film’s Wiki to find out why but I can’t reveal it here because major spoilers. It’s controversial and I’ll leave it at that. Otherwise, I was at least able to laugh at some of the low-budget charm, the hilarious 80’s synth score (from Shuki Levy!), the appearance of two songs that sounded like 70’s soft rock, the opening/closing credits song is a mediocre version of a tune like You’re The Best Around, a scene at a place known as Margarita’s Mexican Restaurant, and at least in the print I saw on Shudder, frequent fades to black as if they were cutting to commercial break.
Oh, and a few familiar names were in the cast, chiefly Sally Kirkland. There’s also Melissa Prophet in a small part as… NANCY WILSON. I hope this was some sort of blatant nod to Heart rather than a silly accident given that it hadn’t been this long since Heart was popular in the 70’s.
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