Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem

Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem (2007)

Runtime: I saw the 101 minute unrated cut

Directed by: The Brothers Strause

Starring: A bunch of no-names, plus someone from Trainspotting and "That Guy" actor John Ortiz

From: 20th Century Fox

One of the worst movies that I could barely see… don’t expect any new reviews of the other Alien films as they’ve been discussed before and if I do revisit any of them before I tackle Romulus, it won’t be mentioned on Letterboxd unless my opinion drastically changes. Requiem, before last night it was only experienced late 2007 theatrically, where my opinion wasn’t high. Before the release, some in the community were happy because unlike AvP, there was plenty of gore and the red-band trailer displayed it. Most of the anticipatory buzz evaporated away upon viewing…

The unrated cut was viewed as I have the movie on physical media that was part of a set purchased years ago. The film is as bad in that form (only seven minutes of sometimes inconsequential scenes were added) and doesn’t eliminate the big problem that’s the Xenomorph in the room: hearsay has always told me that for Cripes knows what reason, Fox deemed it a wise idea to add a dark filter to the entire movie; in daylight it’s dim, and all the dark scenes become nigh hard to see, if not incomprehensible entirely. I’d hope The Brother Strause didn’t make such a decision as directors…

Then again, did Fox self-sabotage this movie?! Why exactly did they hire FX dudes w/ no experience to helm a movie involving two iconic characters? Look at the other directors beforehand in either the Alien or Predator franchises—most were veterans or had just done a Nightmare on Elm Street film (Stephen Hopkins) or were given the keys to Alien 3 because the pre-production was a giant clusterfrick but at least he directed many music videos and away from all the interference he had on the film, David Fincher has had quite the distinguished career. I can’t say that about either Strause brother.

Even without that filter slathered all over the picture, the movie is full of characters you’d find in an 80’s slasher-not even one of the good ones-which is just stupid for something involving either Xenomorphs or Yautja. The entire film is just insufferable due to my general disgust w/ most of the characters (especially the dumb teenagers, which this is full of); another stupid decision was centering this around idiots you’d find in a lousy Friday the 13th sequel. Then there is the “edgy” scene involving pregnant women and infants in a nursery at a hospital… off-putting & disgusting, it was.

Even without those iconic characters (including one that for some reason was a “cleaner” just like The Wolf in Pulp Fiction!) Requiem would be a rather terrible, unpleasant horror movie set but not filmed in the actual city of Gunnison, Colorado filled with performers I’d never seen before or since (the one name to me was That Guy actor John Ortiz) and has what I hear is practical effects… if only they could actually be seen.

Instead of prattling on about the film’s numerous faults & general stupidity, I’ll conclude by proclaiming that there is now no need for me to experience-more like endure-either AvP picture ever again.