Mickey 17

Mickey 17 (2025)

Somehow, 79% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of185 reviews)

Runtime: 137 agonizing minutes

Directed by: Bong Joon Ho

Starring: Robert Pattison, Naomi Ackie, Mark Ruffalo, Toni Collette, Anamaria Vartolomei

From: Warner Bros.

So, it is extremely rare for me to mark a review as a spoiler on Letterboxd. In fact, in the twelve (!) years I've been here, there's only memories of doing so once before. However, it's impossible for me to air my grievances without delivering spoilers to prove why I (unlike most people already) despised Mickey 17.

One day I have to revisit Snowpiercer; don't even read my old review as it's bad for a variety of reasons. Just note that my memories were that the opening act was horrendous and the movie was a lame, obvious ham-fisted attack against capitalism. I don't always love capitalism myself, but unfortunately Mickey 17 is yet ANOTHER movie from Bong which delivers this message, and it is even more blunt than in Snowpiercer. Why don't you start playing another tune, Bong? To clarify, Memories of Murder was disappointing but The Host is very good and while not “best movie ever” like some think, Parasite is still great.

Note that my strong dislike of the film is not because I was “offended” that far-left Mark Ruffalo got to play an OBVIOUS Trump caricature. Even the rube crowd I saw this with understood the message, at least judging by a random dude in the audience yelling out an anti-Trump phrase. I am definitely not a Donnie fan (apologies to anyone that is) yet my preferences are to see movies so I can forget about who's in the Oval Office, Donnie's return to power and what's happened in the administration so far already. Seeing a garish parody that becomes more irritating during the runtime did not make me happy. There is dread in seeing what “certain YouTube accounts” will think of that spoof, or other moments that they'll shriek “WOKE! DEI!” about. I do NOT support such people.

Then again, the movie itself becomes worse and worse during the runtime. The first act, I was mostly enjoying it. There are some laughs throughout, even in the final 1/3 I found to be intolerable. The premise of a future where Robert Pattison flees Earth and because he didn't read the terms & conditions, clones of him are created that are expendable and he has died 16 times previously for the sake of helping everyone else on the 4 year missing in outer space—I can work with such a premise.

Sadly, after the first act, the movie becomes a mess between the increased presence of those aliens, an introduction of a new girl that complicates the relationship that Mickey has with another girl... who then vanishes after like 20 minutes, never to appear again until the conclusion. And why in the blue F was some guy randomly dressed like a PIGEON in a few scenes?! Anyhow, it's the first movie I've seen Anamaria Vartolomei in and she's sure a pretty girl... but the presence of certain “modern movie sins” rear their ugly head and naturally I wasn't happy.

To clarify something I said in the review for Conclave, the reason why I'm not interested in Anora: for awhile I've known that it has almost 500 F-bombs and well, that's an automatic “no” for me. I am no prude or Puritan here; foul language (especially the F word) has just become a lazy crutch and tired in modern cinema. Well, after the first act, in comes all the cursing, usually yelled. Another sin: a picture that doesn't know when to end—the conclusion to this felt unceasing. An odd problem that occurred a few times: sound mixing straight out of a Christopher Nolan film. I saw this at a Dolby Cinema so there shouldn't have been dialogue meant to be heard that I couldn't understand whatsoever.

Silly voices aside, Pattison was the highlight playing the dual characters of Mickey 17 and Mickey 18, the yin and yang of their personalities. The cast as a whole was fine; it was the garish OOT nature and how bad the final act was (even a percentage of the movie's fans feel the final 1/3 was a downgrade) which left me hating the film. Most will like this movie far more than me; if you can tolerate 2 plus hours of someone yelling their political beliefs into your ear, more power to you.

Conclave

Conclave (2024)

93% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 316 reviews)

Runtime: 120 minutes

Directed by: Edward Berger

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Stanley Tucci, John Lithgow, Sergio Castellitto, Isabella Rossellini

From: A number of different United States and UK entities

There used to be a time when I'd have more interest in viewing the highly-regarded movies in a modern year; not any longer. Whether it be a specific genre like horror or just in general, I'm ambivalent to it all. Don't expect me to go through the Best Picture nominees in 2024, in other words; the regular readers should know the four-letter reason why Anora is not something I'll ever view, nevermind my finding no interest in the plot itself.

That said, I found director Edward Berger's All Quiet on the Western Front to be great and getting to experience two hours of great actors engaging in catty drama, backstabbing, scheming, etc. was of interest. The AMC at Disney Springs is still playing the film so I took advantage of that opportunity. Note that my review will be agnostic; my opinions on religion or the Catholic Church will not factor into my rating. Several mutuals on Letterboxd feature a cross in their display name—their opinion of the movie would be interesting to know.

The Pope has passed away so a Papal conclave was held. Cardinals from around the world come to the Vatican City to vote for the new Pope, a 2/3 majority required for election. In Conclave, Ralph Fiennes leads this process; like IRL, multiple voting sessions are required. Perhaps not like IRL, feuding occurs and it's all petty, a concept that was commented on by a character in the final act. How realistic this was or wasn't also played no role in my rating. The main characters all grapple with doubt; this is spelled out early on in a speech but at least that idea was proven right in the story.

What DID play a role: my personal tastes & my relief that there still could be high-profile releases based on characters talking to each other and the lead (Fiennes in this case) conflicted over who he should explicitly or implicitly support in the conclave. This (IMO) is better than another soulless blockbuster, something vulgar, or filled w/ “modern humor.” I was riveted throughout-even when the most surprising and perhaps inconceivable moments occurred. The performances of Fiennes, John Lithgow, Stanley Tucci, Isabella Rossellini, Sergio Castellitto, and Carlos Diehz-among others-all delivered. So did the direction of Berger and the unique score of Volker Bertelmann.

Not everyone will enjoy the film as much as moi; that's a realization I can accept. While not essential to see on a cinema screen as opposed to at home, helping its theatrical gross was something I was happy to do. IRL Pope Francis has been in the hospital the past few weeks so perhaps we'll get a real-life conclave—hopefully not as dramatic as in Conclave.

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines (2003)

Runtime: 109 minutes

Directed by: Jonathan Mostow

Starring: Arnold, Nick Stahl, Claire Danes, Kristanna Loken, David Andrews

From: Several different companies

What’s more surprising: my having never seen Rise of the Machines before last night despite seeing the first two in my youth & loving them both, or the film not being available for (legal) streaming in the United States?

Technically, I did view the first 20 minutes or so one night over two decades ago… it was a bootleg at a friend of a friend’s house back during my college days, before we went out for an alcohol-fueled night.

The middling reputation has kept me away. Note that my opinion of T3 in 2025 may be different if I had viewed this theatrically in 2003; just hours ago I saw someone note that they loathe the movie. No hate on anyone who feels this way. Long ago I did purchase the Terminator Anthology Blu-ray set-released by Warner Brothers in 2012, which had the first four pictures-so it was another positive for having physical media copies of films.

As for Rise, finally I’ve discovered that—it is fine and nothing more. No wonder people were let down when 1 and 2 are classics of their genre. The fact that for the third time Skynet sends back a Terminator to kill John Connor while for the second time a re-programmed Terminator is sent by the resistance to save him… what a mistake it’s been to do the same darn thing for all the sequels except Salvation. Sure, there are other targets that the T-X goes after and the villain’s appearance as an attractive blonde lady is at least different—but she was no T-1000. That’s my comment on the character and not the performance of Kristanna Loken.

The movie is a really dumb version of the first two, complete w/ some unfortunate humor. Through cultural osmosis, I’ve known “talk to the hand!” for the past 22 years; that is as dumb in context as out of context. I also don’t know if famous Arnie lines from different movies were needed. There’s more CG present, much of it dated. I did miss the abundance of practical effects in 1 and 2. Also missed were Linda Hamilton, James Cameron & Edward Furlong. I understand the latter-he already had his substance abuse issues then.

A bitter irony then that his replacement-Nick Stahl-had personal demons of his own. Their Wiki articles only comment on their sobriety up to 2021, but as far as I know, both apparently have been sober for years. A saving grace for the movie is that Arnold was still iconic as the T-800. Stahl was fine in his role but arguably Claire Danes was the highlight performance-wise. I haven’t seen her in Homeland so it was the first time I’ve viewed her in anything in ages. Also, the action-while rather bombastic-still delivered and entertained me.

For all its faults, Rise of the Machines is better than most of the modern blockbusters I’ve tackled (Lord knows it is MUCH better than Terminator: Dark Fate) and was at least something I did not regret finally seeing in full. The bold ending it has, credit will be given by me as these days in Safe Hollywood it stands out. Eventually I’ll see Salvation as it’s part of my collection and talking about “that audio” from Christian Bale will give me at least a paragraph to write about.

Hopefully one day the film receives a 4K upgrade. The audio on the Blu was lossy, for crying out loud. As for Kristanna Loken, if you’re like me there’s a name you likely haven’t heard in ages. She still lives in Southern California; this is known as not that long ago, someone in my online sphere proclaimed that he saw her in a restaurant. No, he did not “shoot his shot” while talking to her-as some reading this may have done!

 

An Ache in Every Stake

(Short # 57 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

The Stooges are icemen this time. There’s a job from the past; before the era of refrigeration began, an iceman would bring blocks of ice to put in an icebox. The setting is the Los Angeles area during a heatwave. First, they attempted to move a block of ice up a LONG flight of outdoors stairs up to a house. Note that the stairs look like the ones seen in the Laurel & Hardy short The Music Box, but they aren’t the exact stairs; rather, this was shot a few miles away at a similar location. The heat melts the ice, you see…

Then, at another house they get in a kerfuffle w/ the chef, who quits in disgust. They offer to be chefs for the afternoon instead for a birthday party. As they don’t understand such terms as “separate two eggs,” “a pinch of salt” or “a loaf of bread, well-soaked” (Curly instead punches the loaf!), it is disastrous. Oh, and Vernon Dent also has a supporting role where he is an unwilling victim of the boys; of course he returns later in the story.

The laughs never stop in this short, from the beginning where the implication is that the horse pulling the ice wagon is smarter than the Stooges, to all the antics in the kitchen where the highlight is that Curly is told to “shave the ice,” resulting in a scene at least a minute long where he uses shaving cream and a razor-treating the block of ice as if it was a customer at a then-modern barber shop. That was a tremendous bit from Curly.

Mix in an explosive finale and this is a classic short from the trio.

The Little Mermaid (The Original Disney Animated Film)

I was happy to revisit the beginning of the Disney Renaissance. To talk like “the kids” these days, I was eating good as a youth—I saw those films, the classic Looney Tunes cartoons, the old animated shorts from Disney, some Woody Woodpecker, Tom & Jerry, The Pink Panther, etc. No, don’t expect me to ever tackle the live-action remake. Besides the pointless nature of the movie and it lasting over 2 hours when this was able to tell the same story in only 78 minutes before end credits, hearing that “song” from Awkwafina is enough to keep me away!

The story is simple yet effective: the protective King Triton having headaches w/ his typical 16-year-old teenager Ariel, Ariel’s desire to be part of the human world, her manipulation by the evil Ursula (modeled after Divine) to become human but losing her voice, etc. There are many positive attributes… the animation, the number of interesting characters, a story that’s never boring, and arguably most important: the usage of a Broadway format where several musical numbers are heard & shown throughout. Thankfully for the movie and for Disney, Broadway veterans Alan Menken and Howard Ashman succeeded. Both the score and the soundtrack are aces. All the songs still hold up in 2025.

The Little Mermaid is still delightful as an adult. Now, I can laugh that the French chef name-dropped Maurice Chevalier & Ursula’s henchmen are Flotsam and Jetsam. My two younger sisters were for certain fans of this film-I believe they still are now. Who knows about the kids of today, but hopefully Mermaid is still a film that can be loved & beloved by the entire family. A film that has genuine laughs that aren’t forced, is not political, and is void of both crude humor and then-modern references—I appreciate that in these modern times.

I'll Never Heil Again

(Short # 56 in Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk: The Columbia Shorts of The Three Stooges)

Yes, they made a sequel to You Nazty Spy! This time the King of Moronika (called Moronica here, but close enough I guess. That was on a sign that proclaimed "Moronica Uber Alles." Is that like California Uber Alles?) and the businessmen who installed the Stooges as the dictator and his two associates team up to overthrow them. After all, in one early scene, they mention… bombing schools and hospitals. There’s a comment I’d like to make but it would be best if I buttoned my lip!

This has a disclaimer right at the start: “The characters in this picture are all fictitious. Anyone resembling them is better off dead.” A bold message for those in the Axis Powers. Sadly, saying that a Nazi “is better off dead” won’t universally be agreed with in 2025. Once again, the Stooges made mockery of the Axis Powers. You may not expect satire, but it’s present. Not only was the Nazi fascination w/ astrology mentioned, so was a reference to Mussolini’s failed invasion of Greece. Heck, King Herman the 6 7/8 was a decent caricature of Kaiser Wilhelm II.

Like in Nazty there is plenty of funny wordplay; also present is a funny map full of pun names. At home it’s a little awkward as there’s a long silence but for 1941 theatrical audiences, there’d be plenty of laughter as they read such terms as “Great Mitten,” “Slap Happia” and “Yom Kippers.” There’s a hysterical bit involving the heroes attempting to blow up the villains via a billiards ball. Naturally, that doesn’t pay off… at first.

The final segment involves various world leaders arguing with each other. It features much anger, bluster, shouting, and posturing. Recently I saw someone elsewhere describe it as “this is just modern world politics.” I chuckled due to the farcical exaggeration. Then, two days ago Zelensky visited the White House… I’m not chuckling any longer!

As the final shot is an amazing (and blunt) visual, Heil was another nice change of pace for the trio. Understandably, there were a number of war-themed shorts in the next several years but they featured a more traditional structure you’d expect from the trio.

Prime Cut

Prime Cut (1972)

Runtime: 88 minutes

Directed by: Michael Ritchie

Starring: Lee Marvin, Gene Hackman (RIP), Angel Tomkins, Gregory Walcott, Sissy Spasek

From: National General Pictures

RIP Gene Hackman

That family friend’s stay down here the past several days (they will return home on Monday) has been a fun time; on the other side of the coin, it’s not the best time for posting on Letterboxd or viewing any feature films.

One day later in the month I’ll tip my cap to the late Michelle Tractenberg; I never saw any of her TV shows and viewed just two (bad) movies she was in. Her age and the alleged “personal demons” she faced made her passing tragic. The circumstances behind the death of Hackman, his wife Betsy and one of their dogs—what in the world happened? No matter what it is, “tragic” is a word to use again. I’ll say more later but as a kid, the Superman movies were viewed on VHS tape or once in a blue moon on television-I knew him first as Lex Luthor.

I typically tip my cap to late performers by reviewing a movie here for the first time. Prime Cut was selected-out of all the cuts available-as it’s been part of my collection for a few years now (nevermind how) and I kept on delaying the viewing. Shame on me, as Prime Cut is a very good tale revolving around Lee Marvin-another good reason to selection a motion picture-a Mob enforcer from Chicago being sent to Kansas City to collect a debt from Hackman-sporting a tremendous mustache-a meatpacking boss hysterically known as MARY ANN.

Prime Cut is odd in general; the enforcer is the hero while the villains are some “good old boys” in the heartland of America engage in such acts as female slavery. Mary Ann sells women at auctions like they’re cattle; Marvin purchases Sissy Spasek (her movie debut) as she asks for help rather than for any gross reasons… oh wait, it is rather weird that Lee purchased a sheer green dress for her yet did not purchase any underwear and he decided to bring that much-younger lady in the green dress to a fancy hotel restaurant. Plus, she now loves him, although he doesn’t feel the same way.

The movie’s wild and also mean-spirited, in other words. Mary Ann is a twisted character yet his brother WEENIE is even more bizarre and their relationship: it has rather perverse undertones. That’s fitting as the picture shows the dark undertones of such Midwest institutions as county fairs, a sunflower field& farms. The movie has a methodical 70’s packing—for me that is rarely an issue & it wasn’t an issue here when this compelling world was examined. The film still had exciting action when warranted. An awesome Lalo Schifrin score was a nice asset. There wasn’t as much Hackman as expected and Angel Tompkins was in only a few scenes. Even then, I was glad to have finally tackled Prime Cut.

It wasn’t until my adult years that I saw such classics as The French Connection and The Conversation, along with lesser-known yet worthwhile films like The Gypsy Moths and Scarecrow. There’s still plenty more for me to possibly review in the future; at least one more with him will be discussed in March. I’m glad to have seen more of Gene Hackman after I left my youth and discovered why he’s so beloved by people like us-a love that I share. The details of his passing away are upsetting. In any event, I will attempt to ignore the circumstances of the death when I think of Hackman as a great American performer. Again, Rest in Peace.