Octopussy

Octopussy (1983)

Runtime: 131 minutes

Directed by: John Glen

Starring: Roger Moore, Maud Adams, Louis Jourdan, Steven Berkoff, Vijay Amritraj

From: United Artists

I know I am still out of order in watching Bond films, but I figured after the bad Friday and the horrible thing that happened in Connecticut, why not watch a Bond that is a little too “punny” at times (and didn't need a Tarzan yell inserted into one scene) but still is quite entertaining, at least to me. I know people seem to have wildly different opinions for this (even more so than a typical Bond movie); despite the hate I still dig this one.

The plot... well, let me steal it from the IMDb: “A fake Fabergé egg and a fellow agent's death leads James Bond to uncovering an international jewel smuggling operation, headed by the mysterious Octopussy, being used to disguise a nuclear attack on NATO forces.” Yep.

The movie does start off on a good note in what looks like some fictional desert country (might as well call it Val Verde) with 007 flying a personal aircraft all about and causing a massive explosion in an airplane hangar. You then get into the main story, which I won't reveal; yeah, I realize what the movie is actually about isn't made clear for a good amount of time, but unlike the complaint I've heard about it being “boring”, I usually do not think it's dull at all. You do spend a good amount of time in the exotic country of India (at least what you see isn't the worst parts of that country) and then you end up in East Germany, with a rogue Russian general (Berkoff, who devours the scenery... in a good way), a circus, and more.

Like I said it's one of the lighter Bond movies as you have a good amount of humor, even if sometimes it isn't really needed. I do say there's a lot to like, from the comedy of them being able to make a movie called Octopussy, the tremendously wacky thing that Octopussy is, the contact in India (Amritaj, a former tennis player) being a dude you like, to some pretty ladies being present, and then you have nice action scenes overall, from the opening to a lot of action in and all over a train, to the ending where you see some incredible things on a train. You also get plenty of wackiness, such as 007 wearing some less than dignified outfits, to Bond insinuating that Q has problems with erectile dysfunction, to old James being fascinated with a woman's cleavage as if he was a 15 year old boy.

Overall, I still like this film and once I finally rate all the Moore Bond movies, this will be in the top half, I'll put it that way. I'll be back Monday night.

A Lonely Place to Die

A Lonely Place to Die (2011)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Julian Gilbey

Starring: Melissa George, Alec Newman, Ed Speleers, Kate Magowan, Holly Boyd

From: Carnaby International

Here's my return to watching something in the horror/thriller genre, as it's been awhile. This is a movie I've known of for awhile as various people on messageboards have plugged it. I just haven't felt like watching it, until last night. It was on a TMC HD channel so I figured that was the perfect time for me to check it out. That was a good decision to see it in HD, as you see quite a bit of real pretty Scottish scenery. You see, this is a UK movie concerning a band of mountain climbers who are in Scotland and want to do some hardcore climbing, but...

They are about to start climbing when they hear a little girl's voice out of nowhere, and turns out, a Serbian girl who doesn't speak a word of English was buried alive in a wooden box but with water and a pipe for air; they dig her out and soon have to run for their lives as they are under attack from the people who buried that youngster.

I'll say that the mountain climbing footage you do see is all well-done, tense, and exciting. Unfortunately you don't see enough of that. At least you do have the aforementioned Scottish scenery. The first half I really enjoyed; besides the area and setting, there are many tense and exciting moments along with getting to meet the main characters, including the bad guys.

The second half, though... things change, and not necessarily for the better. More characters are introduced, things become real confused at times (at least for me), the tone and even the setting changes... and yeah, while there's nice stuff in the second half, overall I think that sinks things and while I didn't hate the film at all, I was disappointed with how it turned out as until that point things were going real well. Even if you didn't want to change any of the elements in the story, if things would have been made clearer, some things cut out and maybe not so many characters then I think things would have been better for sure. But, many people seem to enjoy the entire film so it's always possible I just have weird tastes. If only I could have rated this as high as I do The Descent.

I'll be back Friday night.

A Goonies Sequel?

I did not have time to watch a film tonight; so instead I'll quickly mention something. Via a random looking at sites where I click on something which led me somewhere, then I clicked on something there to go to another place... it was one of those nights... anyhow, I found a quick article from a place called Geek Tyrant which noted something interesting that Sean Astin said in an IGN interview about the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles animated show (and I am not sure about that, as someone who was a huge fan as a kid of the original cartoon); he was asked about a Goonies sequel and he was "1000% sure" there will be one sometime in the future. Does he know something no one else does? Oh, if only.

Sure, if I would have seen it for the first time as an adult then I'd probably complain about how there's a lot of yelling overall during the film or how there are various dopey moments, or what have you. But I watched it many times as a kid and loved it, and saw it on the big screen twice as an adult and still had many nostalgia feelings for it so I was able to be a big kid for it and look past any faults. I am sure I will always have nostalgia for that wacky and goofy yet wildly entertaining film. Sloth and Chunk alone make it worthwhile.

If there would be a sequel for it so many years later, I realize there's a strong chance someone will really screw it up along the way and it won't be what so many people are looking for. I am sure there won't be gags like a mouthy kid saying the wrong thing as a translator to a Hispanic maid in order to scare her or the cock and balls of a classical statue being broken off and gags being present about gluing it back on (only in the 80's would you have that in a PG film); if it ever happens and I'm still doing this blog, of course I'll do a review.

I will be back Wednesday afternoon and this time I'll be reviewing some sort of motion picture.

Blood Simple

Blood Simple (1984)

Runtime: 96 minutes (the Director's Cut, anyhow, which is what I watched)

Directed by: Joel, Ethan Coen

Starring: John Getz, Frances McDormand, Dan Hedaya, M. Emmet Walsh, Samm-Art Williams

From: River Road Productions

I decided to do something different from the odd genre films I've watched the past few weeks. I instead watched this movie for the first time (I know, I know) due to it being shown last night on the MGMHD channel. I figured that was perfect for me as I had a feeling this would be the sort of movie I'd like from the Coen's, a duo that to be honest I usually don't care for.

The plot, even though I am sure most know it: A bar owner in Texas (Hedaya) discovers that his wife (McDormand) is cheating with one of his employees (Getz, he looks like a cross between John Ritter and Tommy Lee Jones). He asks a big lout of a private investigator (Walsh) to murder his wife and her lover for 10,000 bucks. But things really go awry as much confusion and misunderstandings happen-even with me a few times-and things get real hot and sweaty in the middle of nowhere, Texas.

Despite some moments that made me go “huh?” and I can't fully explain it, this was a film I did manage to enjoy quite a bit; I am glad I finally saw it. The movie certainly is great at such things as mood, atmosphere, tension... and sweatiness. Some guys sweat quite a bit in the Lone Star State. Walsh's character was definitely the most memorable. He was loud, obnoxious, boisterous, but also scary at times, although not as much so as Hedaya. He looked real angry and real creepy at times.

What is the most impressive besides the cast being small and yet the movie not being boring or how this was the debut for the Coen's is that there are long stretches of no dialogue and yet you never lose interest in the film. There's one stretch in particular that is like longer than 10 minutes and while the only voices you hear is music and then DJ chatter from a radio station, and yet that was always suspenseful due to what was going on. The score and various sound effects (even the loud motion of ceiling fans) always made things interesting and helped make things not dull.

As this was the Director's Cut (which is actually a few minutes shorter than the original version) it allowed them to be able to use the Four Tops' It's The Same Old Sound to memorable effect; they weren't able to do that for rights reasons since it was originally in theatres. Like I said, it was about time I saw this.

I'll be back Monday night.

Take A Hard Ride

Take A Hard Ride (1975)

Runtime: 103 minutes

Directed by: Antonio Margheriti (i.e. the guy who directed many Italian films, including the infamous Yor: The Hunter From The Future)

Starring: Jim Brown, Fred Williamson, Lee Van Cleef, Jim Kelly, Catherine Spaak

From: 20^th Century Fox

The past few weeks I wasn't planning on watching both blaxploitation and Westerns; it just turned out that way. Last week I stumbled upon this movie, where the two are combined, and figured it'd be perfect to talk about here. Plus, what a cast of badasses.

The plot: Pike (Brown) works doing ranch hand things for his rich boss Morgan. The boss dies of a heart attack, but not before telling Pike to take 86,000 bucks down to his ranch in Mexico for his family. Everyone finds out about this, from a bounty hunter (Van Cleef, of course) to a huckster known as Tyree who lets loose snakes to cheat at cards (Williamson). Pike and Tyree form an uneasy alliance as they travel down to Mexico while dealing with the threat of the bounty hunter and others, while meeting up with such characters as a redhead prostitute from New Orleans (Spaak) and a half-Indian half black guy who has his tongue cut out but knows martial arts. A preposterous character, but pretty cool too and believe it or not he was played by the decidedly not mixed Jim Kelly.

The movie... it's not as awesome as it could have been given the cast, but it's still an entertaining time; there's plenty of sons of bitches who get shot and there's both intentional and unintentional comedy. For example, everything revolving around Kelly's character. After all, legendary cowboy Harry Carey Jr. is also in this movie and his character is in the desert, squatting down and taking a dump with Van Cleef gets the jump on him. Carey's character's name... DUMPER. No kidding. I laughed and laughed.

This movie was actually filmed in the Canary Islands but it is a nice replacement for the actual American Southwest and there are some unique locations you see during the film. A proto-machine gun gets used... yeah, like I said this movie is entertaining even if I was hoping for something to knock my socks off. Oh, and as of this moment the movie is on YouTube. It's not too hard to find.

I'll be back Saturday night.

Hard Ticket To Hawaii

Hard Ticket To Hawaii (1987)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Andy Sidaris

Starring: Ronn Moss, Dona Spier, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond

From: Malibu Bay Films

Yep, tonight I decided to see another Andy Sidaris film, this time one that is more like the ones he became famous for, combining intrigue with big-breasted women taking off their tops, outlandishness with sunny tropical locations... along with more action and explosions.

The plot: Some local cops discover a drug operation; it is financed by diamond smuggling. When a pair of DEA agents who happen to look like Playboy Playmates (Spier, Carlton) stumble upon them being delivered by a remote control helicopter-they find two containers full but lose track of one of them-they get hassled by the bad guys who want to find both containers. Oh, and a giant snake that is evil because it was fed CANCER-STRICKEN RATS (their words) by the government in an experiment is on the loose. The ladies are also helped by the cousin of the hero of Malibu Express (who became a movie star, and appeared in a movie called Malibu Express, allowing the film to be meta and show off a poster for it) and his pal.

The plot really isn't important. Rather, it's intrigue and such things as cross-dressing, bloody gunfights, and a lot of outlandishness. In fact, several scenes from it have become famous online. Someone put together them and some others into a 10 minute video on YouTube, which is below. It is better to watch that than me try to describe all the wackiness.

There aren't as many different pairs of breasts as in Malibu Express but some of them you see a few times each. There's some padding (not bra-padding... not too many bras are worn in this movie at all) but it's with goofy characters so you aren't bored by it. It includes a sportscaster and a totally sexist server at a restaurant. Overall, the movie isn't technically great but boy is it entertaining, with dialogue that is pretty funny at times, whether intentional or not. With the great Hawaiian scenery, mellow late 80's music and some funny 80's fashion, this is quite the film.

I'll be back Wednesday night.

So...

My schedule changed and I had to do something tonight; to add some form of content, here's my tentative list so far (in no particular order) of the best movies I've seen in 2012 so far. At the end of the year I will come up with an official order, with links to all the reviews and brief comments on all the films. Plus, I have a feeling that at least one movie coming out in December will end up on the list.

The Raid

Skyfall

The Grey

Chronicle

Expendables 2

God Bless America

American Reunion

Haywire

Dredd 3D

I'll be back Monday and I promise that I will have watched at least one film by then.