This is Exhibit B in “Why most horror movies that cinephiles love made this century are massively overrated in my eyes.” If people didn't hate me after I said that Obsession was bad or my going Scorched Earth on the new Masters of the Universe, they sure will upon knowing I went Scorched Earth on this piss-yellow movie. Strap in, this'll be another long review.
In my dissertation of Obsession, I mentioned how that most horror cinephiles loved in the past 15 or so years have done nothing for me. Many examples were listed; two more that I recalled only days afterwards were a pair of horrendous remakes: Suspiria and The Evil Dead. Now, I did view the first Kane Parsons The Backrooms video from 2022... for the first time yesterday, a few hours before leaving to see this film! How that dude literally fell into that liminal space was stupid yet the vibes overall were creepy. I know there were many other videos after that; whether viewing those would have changed my opinion of this-probably not.
There's a cold open which wasn't bad; after that, I hated every decision that was made. Like with Obsession, the movie just failed on a fundamental level. I wasn't thrilled by the alcoholic loser dick that was our lead, or his (unintended?) off-putting conversations w/ his therapist. I know people will be APPALLED by this admission too, but this is my first Renate Reinsve movie—the presumption is that the weirdly bad performance she gave here isn't indicative of her talents and instead is the fault of the material/director, or perhaps even a language issue. It was a strange character w/ a half-assed “troubled past” backstory + both leads were given some rotten dialogue; many actors probably would have struggled. One day I'll check out a Joachim Trier picture where presumably I'll like her performance much more.
Let's see, I hated:
* How this only superficially felt like it was set in 1990.
* How they tried to give a backstory to this liminal space when the unknown concerning that was a big part of its appeal. Not one iota of that backstory worked and only reminded me of another overrated horror film made within the past 10 years which at least was better than Backrooms. Get this, it's all trauma and grief! What a new and exciting idea in modern horror...
* How I didn't give a damn about the lead as portrayed by Chiwetel Ejiofor. You can guess how I felt about his two young employees who constantly dropped F-bombs.
* How I didn't like Reinsve's character, but I probably made that plain already. It was impossible to give a damn about her inept therapist, that's for sure.
* How I was never scared! There's only a moment or two I found to be a tad bit creepy; that's it. The rest is random absurd crap that was supposed to be unnerving, soil your pants terrifying, nightmarish... boy, was it not. The vibes in the first short weren't even present.
* How the movie had no rhythm or pacing... at least good rhythm and pacing.
* How the movie treated its audience w/ utter contempt. There was a needless “look at the map” reminder as if the audience wouldn't remember that this map was established like a half hour earlier. Did they do that in case they were afraid that this boredom would be a cure for insomnia?
* How the movie turned into what I'll describe as “David Lynch if David Lynch had an IQ of 75... and was in the midst of a crack binge!” The worst sort of surreal, it was, along w/ pathetic and laughable.
* How some parents took their children (!) to this disaster! What made them think this was a good idea? Whether those parents were too cheap to hire a babysitter or the children watched those YouTube videos way too young, that is undetermined.
* How those same children started scrolling their phones! Normally this would be enraging. However, they were positioned where it wasn't too distracting.. .and I almost wish I could have joined them! Which reminds me:
* How boring the movie was overall.
* How Backrooms could have affected my mood for the other movie I saw at an AMC last night. That review is coming tomorrow and some won't like how that film ultimately disappointed me-was it because I was so ticked at how Backrooms wasted everyone's time?
* How Backrooms didn't even get a reaction from the crowd once everyone was put out of their misery and the end credits rolled. They couldn't have been stunned silent because they actually enjoyed and were moved by this poppycock! At least there was uproarious laughter after the ending of Undertone; I didn't agree with their derision yet at least it was a reaction I'll never forget. I was hoping for boos or yelling or couples arguing about its merits. Instead, there was nothing.
My giving a bottom-of-the-barrel rating is incredibly harsh, admittedly. The sound design had its moments and I can't fault the set & production design. Otherwise, the highlight for me was recognizing a song in the background as Reinsve went into a room and took presumably pills from a cabinet. It was Ulterior Motives! Much to my delight, the original 1985 song master tapes were found and is now on YouTube under “AOP 1985 Mix.” In short, a snippet of that tune was uploaded in 2021 by a guy who vanished as he did not want to admit it was from an EIGHTIES PORN known as Angels of Passion. The truth was only revealed about two years ago. Why it's in this movie, who knows... but RIP to one of the tune's creators-Philip Adrian Booth-who just passed away days ago. It was great that this catchy tune was found, that a copy of the song without “noises” is now available, and that about six months after this was ID'ed, so was The Most Mysterious Song on the Internet—which is another nice 80's ditty.
Apologies for the diversion, but that was far more enjoyable to elaborate upon than why this inexplicably popular (especially at the box office) motion picture absolutely failed for me. Heck, I would have enjoyed watching Angels of Passion for its plot and characters!
Maybe it is time to have an existential crisis. Why has June been so crummy in general? Why has the only theatrical new release in 2026 that I've raved over been Baz Luhrmann presenting great Elvis concert footage and drawing an awesome mixed crowd of people... or why the only theatrical movie seen in the past month or so that hasn't been a let down was the new Star Wars-and that's only because it met my expectations of being mediocre.
Honest, I gave both this and Obsession a chance to wow me like it did everyone else; are my tastes so bizarre now that so many modern pictures don't work on me at all? This must be the case, as awful as this is to admit. I guess I should choose better in regards to what I watch & review; this might mean “don't watch modern cinema for awhile.” “Avoiding anything released by A24” is probably a swell idea too, along w/ “please avoid movies from YouTubers.”
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