Runtime: 97 minutes
Directed by: Andy Sidaris
Starring: The usual Sidaris players, plus the likes of Erik Estrada... and PAT MORITA!
From: Malibu Bay Films
Featuring:
Temu John Stamos
Temu William Zabka
Pandora Peaks
PAT MORITA giving a naked lady a shiatsu massage
This lady then massaged Morita and GAVE HIM A BONER. Thankfully in this case, this was told rather than shown
Cajun music
Model airplanes
A cat death, unfortunately
Exploding baseballs
This sure was an Andy Sidaris movie. I haven’t seen all of his films (nor do I want to) but it’s been ages since one has been peeped, and I was curious to see a former Oscar nominee in Morita as the villain in one of his pictures.
Morita is a heel who wishes to kill the “legendary” duo of Dona Spier and Roberta Vasquez, but he wants it to be “a challenge” so various teams of assassins target the pair throughout. This is as complex as the plot becomes. The lead women are assisted by several pals, including Erik Estrada-in a different role than the one he had in the last Sidaris picture, Guns-Peaks, series regular Edy Stark, and the Great Value actors & Temu Stamos-another Abilene in the Sidaris Cinematic Universe who can’t shoot a gun straight.
Morita had an incredibly easy gig; after the opening scene by the Hawaiian beach, he hung out w/ that young Asian lady as they gave each other massages, sat around, stood around, and were in bed together. Speaking of that, the film has several gratuitous sex scenes, including one w/ Estrada! The action is alright; nothing will top the insanity of the action beats in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, although at least there are some nice explosions.
Ultimately, the viewer should have the right expectations with an Andy Sidaris film. In a Pre-Internet era, poppycock like Do or Die gave viewers of a certain demographic what they yearned for: easy access to T&A, not to mention cheesy action. Concerning Pandora Peaks, she later had a documentary made about her… by Russ Meyer! I’m happy that Meyer and Sidaris have only two degrees of separation. Self-reminder: see more movies from Russ Meyer.
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