BMX Bandits

BMX Bandits (1983)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Brian Trenchard-Smith

Starring: James Lugton, Angelo D'Angelo (yes, that's his name), Nicole Kidman (!), David Argue, John Ley

From: Nilsen Premiere

Yes, I wanted to see another movie w/ Nicole Kidman. Even now, only a few of her pictures have been peeped by me; this is not due to any sexist reasons. Rather, that is an oversight on my part. As this is part of my collection (nevermind the details how!), last night seemed the best time to check out something Ozploitation.

After an opening where a well-organized heist is done at a bank-involving a van being driven through the front window of the bank-two of the henchmen involved with the heist are total buffoons. They are tasked with retrieving special walkie-talkies crucial to an upcoming huge score. Much to their dismay, a pair of young teenage boys named Goose and P.J. found it first, and sold those devices to fund bike repairs. They have a Meet Cute w/ Kidman’s character Judy at the supermarket. Soon, the clown henchmen are after our lovable trio.

The movie’s on the juvenile side and the heroes are greatly aided by how dumb their foes usually are. No kidding, one of the heels goes “Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!” as if he’s Curly Howard. At the same time, sometimes the film does have an edge even after its opening. A long segment is spent on the run at night in a cemetery. More than twice as long is a rather extensive chase where they on bikes are usually dodging a 70’s Ford Galaxie-a large sedan-and cause wanton destruction in a number of locations, including unexpected ones like a waterpark. 

Brian Trenchard-Smith’s movies are quite the mixed bag once he left Australia. However, in his home country the one’s I’ve checked out have all been at least solid. If I-a child of the 80’s & 90’s-had experienced BMX Bandits my rating now would be higher as viewing young teenagers outwit stupid adults via silly methods would have tickled me pink. That said, even as a jaded adult I can appreciate the action beats, some funny dialogue that did make me laugh, the 80’s soundtrack (the random Aussie pop of the period they used, on the other hand…) and how charming the seaside town of Manly, New South Wales appeared. The cinematography was from future Oscar winner John Seale, who later did everything from Dead Poet’s Society and Fury Road to The Hitcher and The English Patient.

For those curious, the lead triple weren’t a THROUPLE, as the kids would say. All were just pals-only one scene had Goose express an attraction towards Judy, which wasn’t reciprocated. Thus, she wasn’t able to say that heartbreak felt good in a place like Manly, New South Wales…