Red Hot Riding Hood

Yes, I'm discussing the famed Tex Avery cartoon here. My schedule should be more back to normal in June: 

It was about time I discussed Tex Avery here. Now, it wasn’t the original idea to talk about a 7-minute-long cartoon today. However, my schedule has been all out of whack this week, and included unexpected tasks that I had to assist people with. Thankfully, I was struck with the realization that one of the film-related tasks I should do in June is to start making a dent in the various Blu discs I have of old cartoons. I purchased some at various times over the years yet have only watched a tiny fraction of those cartoons. 

Of course I won’t discuss here the various shorts I see either for the first time or for the first time in at least 30 years. However, this is arguably the most famous work from animation director Tex Avery and was watched by me as a child. He did Looney Tunes cartoons before leaving for MGM’s new animated division as he felt unappreciated at his old job.

“Reclaiming the narrative” is a modern phrase you sometimes come across. Well, this cartoon did just that. The beginning is a traditional telling of Little Red Riding Hood, before all the main characters reject this notion (the Wolf calls it “sissy stuff”… his term, not mine) and prefer a fresh version, which is what happened. Now, the setting is an early 1940’s nightclub, The Big Bad Wolf is a Hollywood swinger and Red is a sultry singer at a hip nightclub. Wolfie goes wild, literally wolf-whistling at her; the rest won’t be revealed but I will state that Jim Carrey’s The Mask famously paid homage to this cartoon, as did Who Framed Roger Rabbit?

It was amusing to see a hip version of the old fairy tale where both Red and her grandma are stronger characters who show more agency. Of course, this means that grandma is a horny old lady who starts chasing after Wolf… but it’s a cartoon so IMO it shouldn’t be taken so seriously. Between its influence, the animation, the narrative, the characters, the music—this is why it receives the highest rating from me.

I am happy that a few years ago I purchased the Tex Avery Screwball Classics Volume 1 Blu-ray as most of those MGM cartoons have never been seen by me before. As Avery had the freedom to create cartoons that tended to appeal to adults also, those should be delightful to view now.

I Revisited Fire Down Below

Yes, the Steven Seagal movie from 1997 that I actually revisited earlier in May. The reason why the review is being posted today is below: 

This is for certain a time where you have to separate the art from the artist.

I revisited this movie earlier in the month & was going to wait and review this with other Steven Seagal movies that need longer reviews from me. Then, today I saw that he received “an award” from Putin due to his role as a useful idiot for the Russian government then he read off anti-Ukraine propaganda. Yeah… I don’t want to look like I’m supporting a person who is pretty toxic even if you discount his role as a Russian tool. Might as well write this review now so I don’t have to fret in the future, right? I already have to fret anyhow as what I hoped to watch in May will have to be pushed back to June.

Seagal plays the world’s most dangerous Environmental Protection Agency agent who visits rural Kentucky as his fellow agents are disappearing as they investigate toxic waste dumping by Kris Kristofferson’s company. He encounters the expected resistance from the villain’s lackeys as he romances Marg Helgenberger and befriends Harry Dean Stanton. If you don’t think that sounds absurd enough, he’s undercover as a Christian who does good deeds while wearing some ludicrous coats for those that go to Levon Helm’s church. Yes, he plays a preacher who-get this-sings a song.

This has a surprisingly loaded cast. Other names include Stephen Lang, Randy Travis, Neal McDonough (briefly), and two singers at themselves: Marty Stuart and Travis Tritt. No one should be shocked that Seagal is better at his choreographed martial arts (he hadn’t become huge, immobile & lazy quite yet) than at his thespian skills. At least the rest of the cast is fine, w/ Kristofferson playing a slimeball villain amusingly well. I’d say that this movie treated the poor Appalachia residents w/ respect & decency but then I recall a rather gross subplot that lives up-or rather, down-to stereotypes. At least there’s a nice environmental message, plus the hilarity of toxic waste that is neon green.

Regardless, this had decent action, pretty rural scenery, and appropriately for a movie filled w/ musicians, a nice score. The odious presence of the lead was not so noxious as to turn me off from this B-movie cheese entirely; that scent wasn’t limburger, in other words. Reviews in the future will sometimes feature people who are on the scale from “problematic” to downright awful. It may even include other Seagal movies; however, I don’t want to opine on this too hard. This isn’t the best film from the star so if you still want to see one for the first time… go for something like Out for Justice, Marked for Death—or heck, On Deadly Ground to see a less-filtered look at some of his beliefs.

Infernal Affairs

Infernal Affairs (Mou Gaan Dou) (2002)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: Andrew Lau/Alan Mak

Starring: Andy Lau (no relations to Andrew), Tony Leung, Anthony Wong, Eric Tsang, Kelly Chan, Sammi Cheng

From: Media Asia Films

NOW I am finally caught up with all my reviews. Here's one posted on Memorial Day of a movie I saw just earlier that day: 

I have the Criterion Channel 24/7 stream to thank for my finally having seen this picture; it played this afternoon & as I have this week free (including Monday, which was Memorial Day in the United States), it was a treat for me to write the review immediately afterwards and wait minutes instead of hours to post said review. To address the obvious dangling participle immediately, this will not be compared to The Departed. The two worlds they are set in are so different anyhow, it’s likely not fair to either movie.

Those familiar w/ The Departed will of course know the basics; in fact, it slavishly copies this at times. The same time that the Triads have someone undercover with the Hong Kong Police Department (Lau), the Police Department send Yan deep undercover with the Triads. A decade later-as we see a bit of their personal lives-the paths of Lau and Yan will inevitably collide as each side suspects there’s a mole—not to mention the toll this long deception has taken on their psyche. Suspense comes from each side investigating and when the other shoe will finally drop… when the two leads finally confront each other. There’s also more talk of home stereo systems & Morse Code than what I expected.

It's a taught thriller almost an hour shorter than The Departed; both work in their respective films and telling the story in 100 minutes here meant there was little in the way of lulls. Between the quality performance amongst the cast, some scenes seeping w/ suspense and an interesting, vibrant score from Chan Kwok-wing, there is at least a decent likelihood someone who is a fan of The Departed but haven’t given this a shot will find that journey to be fruitful no matter your knowledge of the general story beats. It is uncertain whether I’ll give the two sequels a shot; what IS certain: one day The Departed will finally be reviewed.

Suburban Commando

Suburban Commando (1991)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Burt Kennedy

Starring: Hulk Hogan, Christopher Lloyd, Shelley Duvall, Larry Miller, William Ball

From: New Line Cinema

In my first of two reviews that will be posted tonight, I'll discuss a film from my childhood: 

This is another film I saw in the cinema as a kid! Presumably some are amused to hear what my late mother took me & my sisters to in our youths. Some were pretty sweet like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade… then some were mediocre like this and Spaced Invaders. Then, there was the nadir: GHOST DAD. That was horrifying to watch as an adult due to the whole Bill Cosby thing and the nasty tone it has. Suburban Commando just looked cheap in general so I can’t get too rankled at it.

The reason why this was finally watched by me as an adult: yesterday I drove from my home (near Orlando) to the Tampa area to see the Tampa Bay Rays baseball team lose to the Oakland Athletics of Moneyball fame-the A’s have changed for the worse in recent years but I could write paragraphs about why I feel so badly for how that franchise has treated their fans-but before that was time spent in Clearwater Beach to visit a certain beach bar. Hulk Hogan has one and it’s about what you’d expect, for better or for worse. No, The Hulkster wasn’t there yesterday. I know that there are valid reasons to not like him as a person between his constant pathological lying and the uttering of a certain racial slur that came out in a surreptitiously taped conversation. Yet I am a wrestling fan from the time when it was actually good so I felt obliged to visit nevertheless.

As for Suburban Commando, what a dumb, dopey film it is; I mean, REALLY juvenile and stupid. This has at least one major continuity problem and it was good that this tale involving “Interstellar Warrior” Shep Ramsey was mostly set on Earth, as it had 1960’s-level special effects during the scenes set in outer space. Due to contrivances, Ramsey needs to spend time on Earth to repair his ship. He is a fish out of water as he lives w/ Christopher Lloyd, Shelley Duvall & their two kids. Lloyd plays a milquetoast who puts up with slimy boss Larry Miller, who plays the expected Larry Miller sort of character.

It is not the sort of picture to view for the first time as an adult. That said, if you did watch this as a kid wrestling fan-at home or at the cinema-then to laugh at it, perhaps you’d want to see it again. Some of the goofy gags did make me laugh; at least Shep helps rescue kid Elisabeth Moss’s cat from a tree (yes. This was one of her first roles) and rescues a dog from a hot car. Incredibly, this uses the PKE meters from Ghostbusters as a different prop! Plus, there’s Mark Calaway playing a bounty hunter before he became The Undertaker.

It's a shame that this was the only occasion where Lloyd and Duvall played a couple—they seem like an ideal duo to me. I’d like to know why it didn’t happen more often; then again, there are more pressing questions. Such as, why did Burt Kennedy of 60’s Westerns fame direct this-at least his presence explains why Jack Elam shows up for about two minutes-or how the process of morphing the script from its original Urban Commando idea took place. No kidding, years beforehand this was designed as a vehicle for Arnold and Danny DeVito! They did Twins instead; probably the right move in hindsight.

Busy Bodies

In this review posted much earlier (and is much shorter in length) than usual due to my schedule, I had the time/inclination last night to discuss a 20 minute Laurel & Hardy short; I've reviewed several shorts and movies w/ them... all have been enjoyed.

I also dug Busy Bodies. After a morning commute which involves a great visual gag, the duo go to their jobs at a sawmill. Even before they clock in, the calamity begins. Once on the clock, much damage is done to each other, although inadvertently or otherwise, others also receive some punishment. Glue, saws, a window frame, a barrel, the building's plumbing... all become involved as Stan & Oliver cause so much havoc it's like a tornado went through the job site.

Of course the gags in question won't be elaborated upon. This might be the favorite of the L&H shorts I have viewed so far.

I Discuss a Pair of Robert Clouse Films

First is one I reviewed here way back twelve years ago, but this new take on 1974's Golden Needles is better: 

In the first of the two movies I’ll review here today (both directed by Robert Clouse) this was a revisit of something I saw way back in 2012 on Netflix-remember when they mainly had niche movies that were of interest to people like me?-and what I wrote on Letterboxd soon after I joined the site ELEVEN years ago was a short blurb. Now, the description on Wikipedia is different from the one on Letterboxd. Wiki says: 

“A legendary statue has seven gold needles inserted in it, and an adult man will become a sexual superman when the needles are placed in the same position in his body. A colorful group of characters is all in on the hunt for the mysterious statue.”

Technically that’s true, although the main benefits of the statue and needles are an improvement in vim and vigor; this is why Burgess Meredith (!) paid Elizabeth Ashley for a Hong Kong trek in order to acquire the statue, although the thought of senior citizen Meredith as “a sexual Superman” is incredible. The opening is Roy Chiao’s henchmen stealing the statue (which the local government also wants as a priceless artifact) via FLAMETHROWERS, so clearly he wants an extraordinary sum to give that up. This is when Joe Don Baker enters the picture so he can steal the statue that’s already been stolen.

The film is quite uneven at times, with at least one lull and a kind of pointless romance between Baker & Ashley. Yet, I was still amused by this lark. Except for about 25 minutes in Los Angeles-which is the only time the viewer sees Meredith, along with Jim Kelly-the rest of the movie is filmed in Hong Kong and that provided interesting scenery, whether it be outdoors or indoors at a small casino (which housed an action setpiece) ran by Ann Sothern where mahjong is played. 

Indeed, the government sends someone who assists the leads in this quest. This person is among the sources for the martial arts seen on celluloid. No, Joe Don doesn’t do any himself! Rather, he is like a bull in a China shop as he punches or otherwise tosses aside his much smaller foes yet somewhat convincingly runs away from them when necessary. Golden Needles is kind of a mess as a movie yet for me that is part of its charm. Meredith wears the largest and gaudiest bow-ties in recorded history, a brawl happens in a health club, giant shrimp are eaten… even if Kelly does precious little fighting, I didn’t mind watching this oddity a second time.

Now, my opinion of 1980's The Big Brawl, i.e. Battle Creek Brawl: 

The Big Brawl (1980)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Robert Clouse

Starring: Jackie Chan, Mako, Kristine DeBell, Jose Ferrer, Chao Li-Chi

From: Golden Harvest

In my second review of the day, why did no one ever tell me that this movie was a darn hoot? Of course, I’ve known of it for years as the first film during the initial attempt to make Jackie Chan a star in North America; that initial attempt failed so I was glad he got a second chance and this time knocked it out of the park. Appearing in the two Cannonball Run movies as a JAPANESE man is unfortunate by today’s standards, plus he wasn’t able to do much in all-star ensemble pictures. Finally, I took a chance on this and turns out, I should have had more faith in something directed by Robert Clouse.

It earned good will right away with the badass intro of Jackie and an AWESOME jazz track w/ heavy bass then the entrance of someone whistling. A minute later I saw the credit that stated the great Lalo Schifrin did the score; it was indeed pretty sweet. Jackie plays a badass in 1930’s Chicago (as long as you ignore a few anachronistic moments that pop up throughout) who runs afoul of some gangsters so they force him to fight in a big tournament down in Battle Creek, Texas-sometimes this film is known as Battle Creek Brawl-so he needs the help of both his uncle Mako (who trains him) and his white girlfriend Nancy to prepare. I certainly can nitpick about some of the plotting and dropped subplots, but I still had fun. Plus, as others have noted, it isn’t a big deal that Chan’s character Jerry is dating a white woman.

Note that there are still racist characters who spout phrases that won’t be repeated here. It’s just not a big deal that there’s this interracial romance in 1930’s Chicago. The titular brawls throughout aren’t as incredible as you’d get in Jackie’s Hong Kong run or in some later Hollywood efforts yet are still delightful and the sort of action you’d hope to see from him. There are also the laughs that you’d expect from Chan; the humor usually landed.

It is quite the silly movie; after all, the Battle Creek brawls are literally street fights outside in the middle of town, surrounded by all the town folk who all love this mayhem. Furthermore, some are literally dressed like pro wrestlers. That is fitting for a movie full of current or former wrestlers at the time. Lenny Montana portrayed-get this-a mob enforcer, there was Earl Maynard, Gene Le Bell, the guy who wrestled as El Mongol, and the lead fighter was played by Hard Boiled Haggerty, whose name was BILLY KISS and appropriately, kissed his opponents on the mouth right as he defeated them!

I didn’t even mention the utterly preposterous “roller race” which is a relay race both in and out of a warehouse where people shoot firehoses at you and the other male in Jackie’s trio is only referred to as JUG. For certain I can carp about Rosalind Chao having a less than thankless role, or other quibbles. At the same time, various elements appealed to my tastes (& it was delightful seeing old veterans like Jose Ferrer & Mako) so Battle Creek Brawl was quite a bit of fun for me.

 

Expect a Lot on Memorial Day

As in, several reviews will be posted.

Marnie

Marnie (1964)

Runtime: 130 minutes

Directed by: Alfred Hitchcock

Starring: Tippi Hedren, Sean Connery, Diane Baker, Martin Gabel, Louise Latham

From: Universal

Note that my rating is not impacted at all by the alleged behavior of Hitchcock towards Tippi Hedren while filming this movie; it wasn’t physical but that behavior was the type to get him canceled in our modern world. I love Hitch the director; Hitch the human being and his behavior towards some people is quite objectionable. No way can I defend those actions and I feel sympathy for her that she had to deliver a performance in this film under those conditions.

My objections to Marnie the film was how Marnie the lead character was treated. Her behavior is due to childhood trauma; a few different moments trigger her and by the end, each are explained. Also explained is the poor treatment received by her from her mother. It’s an ugly reason; although, far worse in that regard is the treatment she receives from Sean Connery, who sports a rather bizarre accent, Philadelphia by way of Scotland. I’ll just mention the thinly veiled sexual assault, attempted suicide, mansplaining, more than casual 60’s sexism AND animal death for those that are upset by such content for a number of valid reasons.

Of course, it was a handsomely mounted production and I can’t find much fault with the direction, Bernard Herrmann score, or the more subtle elements like the Albert Whitlock matte paintings. However, the cruel, ugly story was just a massive turn-off; the LONG journey at over two hours did not feel worth the effort. I don’t even want to dwell on the film and the uncomfortable feelings it gave me. This is one I’d rather forget; there’s plenty of Hitch films I really like or love so no need to ever deal with this (probable) look at Hitchcock’s id and Freudian foolishness ever again.

 

Baghead

Baghead (2023)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Alberto Corredor

Starring: Freya Allan, Jeremy Irvine, Ruby Barker, Peter Mullan, Anne Muller

From: A few different UK and German companies, including Studio Canal

I probably shouldn’t have expected anything great to have come from a motion picture entitled Baghead. That’s actually on the harsh side as this is probably better than the worst tripe and unimaginative offal that we get from the likes of Blumhouse, which I am mostly happy to avoid and only hear the dreadfulness of such from secondhand sources. To address something I only realized afterwards, yes this will remind you of Talk to Me… something I didn’t really care for due to its nonsense story and insufferable characters. I actually liked this more than that!

Yes, a reason for viewing this is to tell people about this film starring Freya Allan; it can’t possibly be because I wanted to see this for myself after viewing Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes… truth be told, I’ve never viewed The Witcher TV show because I’ve never played the games. I’ve heard plenty of bellyaching about the show and why superfan Henry Cavill left the show but let’s not go down that road. It’s not Allan’s fault for that show’s faults nor is she to blame for me giving Baghead a middling score. Allan is in fact… bewitching. Yes, I have heard that even Freya herself is burned out on The Witcher and is glad it is wrapping soon. Thank goodness she has those Apes movies now.

The titular Baghead is a shape-shifting demon woman who has a hideous appearance in normal guise, thus the guise of a bag over her head like she’s Jason in the second Friday the 13th or the killer in The Town That Dreaded Sundown. Via the swallowing of an object belonging to someone, for two minutes someone deceased can come back for two minutes, but after that things begin to go awry. That’s the conduit instead of a severed hand. Allan’s Iris inherits her dad’s pub in Berlin after he passes away. He charged people to use Ms. Baghead, you see. As her name’s now on the deed, she’s tied to the place. At least it’s not an embalmed hand that teenagers use at parties to have a laugh about!

A lot of nitpick, squabbling, and carping can be done about the plot and some illogical moments. Be that as it may, the movie is just OK and thankfully wasn’t awful. At least this was something that had minimal gore, minimal cursing, and only used a few characters. I may call this “cheap” and wasting the idea by not having multiple characters use that power & see how it goes wrong. Judging by the lousy CG it appeared to be a cheap production, anyhow. I thought it seemed like something best as a short story in an anthology. Well, the end credits proclaimed this WAS based on a short film, so there you go.

A large segment of Letterboxd might not care for Baghead; whether they feel it’s a lesser copy of a beloved movie, the end product is on the forgettable side or minimal carnage/death, it would be a hard sell I am afraid. That duly noted, the pub offered decent atmosphere, the cast (especially Allan) seemed to try their best, the end product was more grim than expected and there’s a germ of a good idea somewhere in the movie… it is still OK and is likely better than too much of the new/recent horror Shudder puts on their service.

Super Size Me

Yes, I'm discussing the infamous Morgan Spurlock documentary from 20 years ago. The reason why I'm down on it will be readily apparent: 

I rate this documentary so lowly... because much of it is phony.

At the time, I wasn't a big fan. No s***, Spurlock (to steal a line I really wish was invented by me) of course if you eat an unreasonable amount of McDonald's food constantly for an entire month there will be adverse effects. He wasn't a very compelling protagonist as the focus of what could have been an interesting documentary that raises issues about such topics as obesity in America, fast food addiction, school lunches, advertising, etc. Those points are brought up but aren't elaborated upon enough or very well. Instead it's some goof doing a publicity stunt.

That's what I thought all these years. Recently, new facts were learned. Did you know that Morgan Spurlock was a hardcore vegan like his vegan chef girlfriend was? That was never addressed. Neither was his alleged alcoholism he's had since his early teens; this explains his liver that famously in one scene was mentioned as being incredibly damaged. Then there's the holier than thou attitude where Americans are called “stupid” in blanket statements for eating fast food that some have interpreted as racist as low-income and/or minorities happen to eat at fast food as it's cheap in comparison and convenient. The film undoubtedly does have a condescending attitude either way. It's not the film's fault but YIKES at the appearance of JARED FOGLE... at a SCHOOL speaking to children. Not even the usage of Rock 'n' Roll McDonald's from Wesley Willis could do much to delight me.

As the data/information presented here can't be trusted and is outdated anyhow, there is no real reason to ever view Super Size Me when it has an unlikable host even before you hear that he's also a sex pest... I won't fault anyone who still looks upon Super Size Me favorably despite the information I just shared in this review. In regards to myself, I'm glad that there is now a better variety of quick-service meals in the United States & more options at places like McDonald's. No one should be shamed for eating at such places at least once in awhile; especially if you have a family, it's an inconvenience to cook a meal at home, the healthy options at the grocery store are always more expensive anyhow—still, any fast food isn't bad as long as there's moderation. 

Without having any expertise in the health field (let alone my appearance resembling the polar opposite of Jason Momoa!), common sense dictates that eating everything in moderation-with variety-and exercise as minimal as walking can help you be in OK health. Sometimes I need to follow my own advice...

Forty Guns

Forty Guns (1957)

Runtime: 80 minutes

Directed by: Samuel Fuller

Starring: Barbara Stanwyck, Barry Sullivan, Dean Jagger, John Ericson, Gene Barry

From: 20^th Century Fox

What in the heck is going on with Turner Classic Movies? I have to ask this now as recently there was a massive problem and they weren’t able to screen Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid (thank goodness I have that on physical media and have watched it before) then last night I decided to DVR both Jailhouse Rock and this film when they played on the channel. You see, Spielberg saw those two movies at the drive-in as a kid so he was present to talk about them both. He gave comments about how he knew director Samuel Fuller personally and said he was as stubborn as a mule when it came to his opinion but strongly put over his oeuvre of work. 

Ben M. then pitched it to the movie… only there was a black screen for a few minutes then an entirely different movie played! I didn’t even bother to fast forward to discover if this kerfuffle was fixed (or what it was that they were showing instead); disgusted, I went to YouTube as there are multiple copies of this around in HD quality. I blame the guy that runs Warner Brothers Discovery-someone I only refer to as Voldemort.

This won’t be the only 50’s Western I’ll discuss this month but I’m glad to have cleared some space off the DVR… plus see something from a great director along with an uncommon genre effort where the lead is a badass woman—played by the legendary Barbara Stanwyck. 

She is the matriarch of the biggest ranch in the county & rules the roost far more than the town’s cowardly sheriff. Her brother is an absolute menace; former gunslinger Griff Bonnell and his brothers roll into town and well, they aren’t going to put up with such poppycock. They stick around in town, there’s romance (including Griff and Stanwyck’s character, Jessica), and more that I dare not spoil.

Stanwyck does stand out as a badass* who is like Johnny Cash in that she’s always in black (but rides a white horse); there are other highlights, such as Dean Jagger’s cowardly sheriff and Barry Sullivan as Griff. Fuller also directs the heck out of this at times; there are some tremendous shots-including a tremendous opening minute-a thriller scene that literally has a cat jump scare, and two things I haven’t seen in a Western before: a big tornado scene &… more than one scene of multiple men in a public bath! They’re all in different wooden washtubs, but unexpected, it was.

Thankfully at least Spielberg’s comments beforehand played. It was fascinating hearing him give some thoughts on the movie—including how he didn’t like “the talky bits” as a child, which is understandable. His opinion of course is different now. The movie isn’t full of action scenes; rather, the action we do get drives the story and the various plot beats. If you enjoy a darker take on the genre and/or the main participants, this is worth a watch.

* Turns out, she did something badass IRL during filming. Her stuntwoman didn’t want to perform the task of being dragged by a horse because “it was too dangerous.” Stanwyck did it herself and only received some bumps & bruises.