Runtime: 91 minutes (at least that's the longest version of it I can find)
Directed by: Kei Law
Starring: Siu-Lung Leung, Ie Lung Shen, Ching Tang, Alexander Grand, Jenny
From: Goldig Film Company
Here is one of those movies I've known about for years, and finally tonight was the night for me to sit down and watch it. It's from Hong Kong and may be one of the weirdest films ever made. Before I do anything else, I should explain that for a few years after Bruce Lee's death, there was a genre known as Bruceploitation, in which people were hired just because they resembled Bruce Lee and various plots were derived; whether it be rehashes of Lee's movies, plots where the actor was supposed to be Bruce Lee, fantastical tellings of Bruce's life, or what have you... this was actually a thing. This movie is one of those; the actor is supposed to be Lee, although they really don't look like each other.
I might as well cut to the chase and copy and paste (for the most part; I modified parts of it) the plot synopsis from the IMDb to show you why exactly I make that claim:
“It's one of the "Bruceploitation" films that were made to cash in on Bruce Lee after his death. The story follows Bruce Lee after he dies and ends up in what is called Hell but I believe is just “the underworld”, which looks a lot like Earth. Once there, he does the logical thing and opens a gym. After fending off the advances of the king's naked wives, he discovers that the most evil people there are attempting a takeover, so Bruce sets out to stop it. As if it wasn't weird enough, the evil people are: Zatoichi (the blind swordsman hero of Japanese film), James Bond, The Godfather, The Exorcist (Father Karras, I guess), Emmanuelle (the "heroine" of many European softcore porn films), Dracula-who appears in daylight-and, of course, Clint Eastwood (played by a Chinese guy). Aiding Bruce is The One-Armed Swordsman (hero of kung-fu films), Kain from the U.S. tv series, Kung-Fu (actually played by a Chinese guy this time), and Popeye the Sailor Man! Yes, Popeye the Sailor Man. He eats spinach and helps Bruce fight some mummies (and before that, you see guys in skeleton outfits).”
YES. All of this is true, and there's more! When you first see Bruce, he is laying down and it certainly looks like he has a massive erection. Turns out, it's just his nunchucks. There is discussion concerning Lee's wang throughout the film. At least in this English dubbed version, they rip off the musical cues for 007 and The Man With No Name and they are ID'ed as “James Bond” and “Clint Eastwood” and “Popeye”. There's a talking skeleton for no reason. You briefly hear the opening to Kung Fu Fighting and parts of the 70's Jermaine Jackson song Erucu, of course without asking the record companies for the licenses to use those tunes. Bruce Lee (it's explained why Bruce in the “underworld” doesn't look like Bruce in real life) is against gambling. You see random boobs. Even in China... er I mean “the underworld” rock paper scissors is played. Emmanuelle tries to seduce Lee, to no avail.
The movie was filmed widescreen but every copy I've seen, is fullscreen and the image is simply cropped rather than pan and scanned. This can be quite annoying. Thankfully it doesn't harm the action scenes too badly; those action scenes are fine, all things considered.
I could say and spoil more things, but this indeed ranks really high amongst the most bizarre movies I've ever seen. How these people came up with it and got away with using those characters, themes, and songs... I have no idea. There's more than one copy online of this (watch the one that's 95 minutes long; it's actually 91 minutes but after the movie is over there's a few minutes of nothing) and if you want to see something that's best watched to be entertained for the WTF fashion rather than it being good, then this is great. I mean, not surprisingly this doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Just watch it to be amazed and befuddled at the same time.
Here's a trailer that gives you a small taste of the insanity:
I'll be back Wednesday afternoon.
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