Runtime: Allegedly 94 minutes... but it felt like 194 minutes!
“Directed by”: Chris Nash
Starring: Some OK actors, some awful actors, and Lauren-Marie Taylor of 80's slasher fame, who was fine when she appeared at the end; she can't be blamed for what she had to say...
From: Shudder and some other companies
After a day off from seeing movies on Monday and a Tuesday spent visiting a few different places, a shame then that I have to discuss a movie which gave me a bad visceral reaction.
I know many will fiercely disagree w/ this opinion, but this is one of MANY horror movies since about 2012 or so that is beloved by film fans (whether on Letterboxd or off of it) that I just think is either overrated or downright atrocious. Why people love movies like The Babadook, The Evil Dead remake, It Follows, Hereditary, the abomination that was the Suspiria remake or quite a few others, it's beyond my comprehension. I'm sorry, but this was one of the worst movies I've ever seen theatrically! Let me try to explain why this was just dreadful and yet another smug, haughty, pretentious genre example that can F all the way off. The fact that this even was arthouse pretentious crap was unknown to me beforehand; I was blindsided.
An 80's slasher where the viewer follows the killer (until we don't, but that's the least of the movie's issues) seems like a better idea for a short than a feature film, as this proved. Giving the middle finger to people that expect 80's slasher thrills and not filming it like a period movie seemed to be at the forefront here. A shame, as the actual lore could have made for a decent period movie if it had came out in, say, 1985. The audiences witnesses the resurrection of the killer; think “Great Value Undead Jason Voorhees”
A huge problem is that when we do see the victims and the final girl, practically all are loathsome creatures, vulgar cursing buffoons who poorly deliver atrocious dialogue. This includes a lady I'll refer to as Great Value Early 2000's Sarah Polley. There is another who had an amazing head of curly hair and frankly I found to be cute, but all I knew about her was that she seemed to be the least worst out of her friend group (it took IMDb for me to even know her name was Kris) so why should the viewer care about her? Note that both “cancel culture” and “toxic masculinity” are mentioned in a way only designed to trigger some people. If it was supposed to be satire, then that idea crashed & burned.
The kills... yes, they were practical and that's nice to see. However, I took issue with ALL the kills, no kidding. It was like I was back watching a Hatchet movie-not a compliment. Either they were unsatisfying on purpose to “subvert expectations”-those who have only just started following recently, subverting expectations in a modern movie is usually something I loathe-or were SO OOT they became both laughable & stupid. Furthermore, we see Great Value Jason walk around—a LOT. That got old as I grew more and more frustrated.
Lauren-Marie Taylor (yes, Vickie from Friday the 13th, Part 2) shows up at the end. I never thought I'd see her in a modern film on the big screen. Her performance was fine; however, what they had her say and do... this was the worst example of subverting expectations. Why in the blue hell did she deliver an absolute pointless story that had to take at least a legit 5 minutes to tell? That soliloquy served absolutely no purpose! THIS is the movie many of you went wild over?! Talk about being trolled while watching a film I was long tired of by this point.
This is minor in the grand scheme of things, but Cripes, what in the heck was that atrocious end credits song? For me, it was the final troll job and the perfect capper to a film that stunned me by how much it turned me off. The Northern Ontario woods looked lovely and the practical effects usually looked nice. Otherwise... give me all the Friday the 13th movies (even the worst ones), The Burning or Madman instead of this claptrap. I wish I saw the magic that many here see in In a Violent Nature.
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