Tough Guys Don't Dance

Tough Guys Don’t Dance (1987)

Runtime: 110 mesmerizing minutes

Directed by: Norman Mailer

Starring: Ryan O’Neal (RIP), Isabella Rosselini, Debra Stipe, Wings Hauser, Lawrence Tierney

From: Cannon!

This isn’t the most dignified movie for me to say “RIP Ryan O’Neal”, but… I’ve only seen a few of his films, including The Driver on YouTube. Thankfully I splurged and purchased that on 4K (it was a European release). One day I’ll spin that disc; don’t expect a review of that as I already discussed that film last year & am happy w/ that review. Tough Guys Don’t Dance is one that until last night I really only knew for its polarizing reputation and Ryan’s “Oh God! Oh Man! Oh God! Oh Man!” line reading which became a meme.

Thing is, most of O’Neal’s role is underplayed; whether it was his or the director’s choice, it was the right one as everyone else is VERY outre, incredibly over the top. Think of the story as a neo-noir… on crack! The first hour is Ryan telling one hell of a story to dad Lawrence Tierney. It involves his two loves, drugs, people w/ exaggerated Southern accents, plenty of sleazy moments, bizarre dialogue that typically was of a scabrous nature, and once we’re in present times it becomes even more tawdry. It’s the sort of film where apropos of nothing, out of nowhere we suddenly discover that O’Neal has a dog… which of course dies a minute later. Yeah, I get why this has been compared to Blue Velvet, and not just because there’s Isabella Rosselini and a score from Angelo Badalamenti. However, Lynch did it all more elegantly without seeming so vulgar.

Be that as it may, I did laugh often at the spectacle that unfurled before me… sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. I haven’t read any of Norman Mailer’s books or seen his other movies; however, it was blatant he was going for a wild off the wall movie full of bold performances, and at least in that regard he succeeded. As a movie the end product has no shortage of flaws & confounding moments. No surprise then this was a Golan-Globus production, although Coppola as an executive producer was; then again, his career was in a bad way at the time.

It was difficult to formulate a rating for this entire enterprise. I guess it’ll get three stars for the trashy factor, the amount of times I laughed & whatever it was that Wings Hauser was doing which nonetheless tickled me pink. This was not the most flattering portrayal of Provincetown, Massachusetts or its real-life lore of Helltown, a lawless burgh not too far from the area a few hundred years ago which had pirates, bandits, and other rapscallions. Anyhow, this movie is more than just a random 30 second clip you saw years ago. Note that I can also acknowledge O’Neal was a tremendously-flawed person.