Tintorera: Killer Shark

Tintorera: Killer Shark (1977) 

Runtime: I saw the 85 minute version rather than the 126 (!) minute one

Directed by: Rene Cardona, Jr.

Starring: Hugo Stiglitz, Andres Garcia, Susan George, Fiona Lewis, Eleazar Gonzalez

From: Concacite Uno/Productora Filmica Real

A film about two cads cavorting around a seaside Mexican town... where a Tiger Shark shows up once in a blue moon.

For years I have known of this movie; the fact that there are different cuts of it all there (some over 2 hours long!) and most of the ones on YouTube looked poor and/or were in the wrong aspect ratio. Eventually I figured this would be given a shot; after all, Scorpion Releasing put it on Blu. Well, last night on MGMHD they showed the 85 minute cut so this was the opportune time, and... if only the titular killer shark would have been present more often. The director was Rene Cardona, Jr. so of course the star was obvious; those two have made more movies together than Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.

Much of this is Hugo Stiglitz (a Mexican playing an American) and Andres Garcia (a Mexican playing a Mexican) feuding then suddenly starting a bromance in what seemed like a few days as they both sleep around and bed several women-at times even developing a polyamorous relationship-including Susan George. There is plenty of nudity, male and female; it was not the plan to see two motion pictures in a row that had a copious amount of this, but it happened. There's also disco music, Stiglitz cooking eggs in the morning while being buck naked except for an apron... and once in a long while a shark shows up. There is much more of those two cads than the aquatic horrors; that's the case until this nears the end. At least the shark footage doesn't look bad-and the same goes for the underwater footage-yet the finale comes across as... limp & out to sea... to its credit, one of the attacks was done quite well.

It did start to drag in the back half so this only gets a “meh” rating from me. That said, there are no regrets finally giving this a shot; besides there being plenty of worse shark films out there, I could laugh about the disco music or all the debauchery the two lead men engaged in or how many scenes had one or both in Speedos. All the moments where aquatic life is either shot with a spear gun or clubbed... I could have done without that and you have been warned.

Paranoia

Paranoia (1969)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Umberto Lenzi

Starring: Carroll Baker, Lou Castel, Colette Descombes, Tino Carraro, Lilla Brignone

From: Several Italian and French companies

Recently I heard praise for a release from Severin last year: The Complete Lenzi/Baker Giallo Collection, which is the four movies that director Umberto Lenzi-an admitted guilty pleasure-did with Carroll Baker. Spotting that all four are on Prime, it seemed like a swell idea to try out their first collaboration. Note that not only is this a giallo in the basic sense that it is a sleazy Italian crime thriller, but that in some places it is known as... ORGASMO. Personally, I am glad it is listed as Paranoia here; among other things, its other title would be awkward to post on Twitter! What I mean is that my reviews are always linked in a Twitter post; my followers there may look at me funny after discovering I saw something called Orgasmo.

The plot: Baker plays Kathryn, the rich widow of an older husband who just died. She now lives in an Italian villa; soon she meets up with a young man who has an equally mod sister. Things seem groovy at first with them partying, listening to period rock tunes where you expect to hear the Strawberry Alarm Clock next, and there's even a scene at a club where I half-expected Austin Powers to show up. However, those siblings are actually awful human beings, so Kathryn has many terrible things happen to her, including good old fashioned gaslighting. Between that and this being the most sleazy of the film's various cuts out there-meaning this has copious amounts of nudity and what I call “lesbian moments”-this was quite the wild hour and a half.

While this was trash, at least I was entertained by those loathsome villains and all the twists & turns this had, especially in the final act. There is no shortage of zoom-ins and zoom-outs, either; Baker was the true highlight with her performance. Kathryn is put through the wringer and she did deliver. This is not a must-see in the genre by any means yet if you enjoy the sleazy Euro movies of this vintage, this will probably delight you... just don't tell me how it personally delights you! Judging by this, Severin did a swell job in restoring some movies I understood were impossible to find in even decent quality beforehand.

They Live

They Live (1988)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: John Carpenter

Starring: Rowdy Roddy Piper, Keith David, Meg Foster, George “Buck” Flower, Peter Jason

From: Universal

You know, you look like your head fell in the cheese dip back in 1957.

Last night was the time to FINALLY revisit one of John Carpenter's more famous films, and one that many have said seems more relevant than ever... not to bring politics into this review but Carpenter did say the idea for this (based loosely on a short story) was his disgust of “Reaganomics” and how it created an increase of the income gap mixed in with his loathing of increased commercialization. It's up to the reader if United States politics in recent years can be applied to They Live-for certain commercialization has become even worse in the past 30 plus years. Subliminal messages of “obey”, “consume” and “no thought” definitely have rang true to me at times in the recent past. In addition, this has moments where there is both police brutality and the homeless are treated rather poorly; heck, global warming is even mentioned long before that became a huge concern w/ the general public.

John Nada (the surname is from the short story; not very subtle to say that the protagonist is a nobody but at least that point is driven home) is a down on his luck person who walks to Los Angeles and ends up on a construction site as that's all the work he can find. While living in a shantytown, he stumbles upon what seems like a loony conspiracy thought up by some peculiar people; unlike QAnon, this one is true... at least I hope no one reading this believes in QAnon. Anyhow, via special sunglasses, subliminal messages are now visible and many people are actually aliens in disguise. Nada ropes in his buddy Frank to try and destroy the satellite signal that is allowing both to occur.

They Live takes its time to let the story slowly unfurl and allows the lead to try and piece it all together. There is basic information presented throughout as to the endgame from the aliens but thankfully there's no contrived info dumps which spell it all out as the viewer only needs the basics. It is easy to root for both John and Frank; Keith David is great as always and in a career where he ended up doing quite a few low-budget pictures, the late Rowdy Roddy Piper was probably at his best here, at least outside of professional wrestling. Their infamous epic brawl is unforgettable, due to length, brutality... and them fighting over Frank being asked to wear those special glasses. Also, I was personally glad George “Buck” Flower had a prominent supporting role.

Even if you divorce this from the real life inspirations that made John Carpenter angry & want to tell this story, it is like one of those paranoid conspiracy thrillers of old where innocent people discover the truth concerning horrible activities & they discover that some are happy to “sell out” for money. It is a fun yarn (with memorable one-liners throughout; it's not just the famed bubblegum zinger) where the message is not suffocating or sucks the fun out of seeing the heroes attempt to reveal the nefarious deeds. As typical for the director, the film found more success in the years after it was first released; OBEY and some other ideas are popular among certain segments. In other words, this does not feel dated at all.

High And Low

High and Low (Tengoku To Jigoku) (1963)

Runtime: 143 minutes

Directed by: Akira Kurosawa

Starring: Toshiro Mifune, Tatsuya Nakadai, Tatsuya Mihashi, Isao Kimura, Kyoko Kagawa

From: Toho

Last night I figured it was time to check out something on the Criterion Channel, a movie likely to earn a very high rating from me. High and Low (loosely adapted from an Ed McBain novel) does indeed deserve to be in the highest echelon as one of Kurosawa's best films.

The plot sounded simple enough: a rich businessman who is in the field of making womens' shoes has his chauffeur's son kidnapped by accident instead of his own but he still has to pay a huge ransom... which he is reluctant to do as he already has planned to use a large sum of cash to take over the company he's in. But in execution, the movie is excellent. What seems like the first 50 minutes is all but for one exception set in a house, mostly in one large room. That is never dull due to the story, blocking, performances, and more.

After that is the police procedural and I never lost interest there either. The kidnapper is rather intelligent with his plan but the cops are smart themselves and they do a lot of groundwork & examining clues to crack the case-this includes the early 60's version of forensics. There's a scene more than 10 minutes long where all the officers on the case are presenting the preliminary results of their own investigations to each other and it's all fascinating due to how this information is shown and how it all comes together; it was never dull for even a second. I was also happy to see that frequent Kurosawa actor Takashi Shimura had a small supporting role. Personally, the second half was as engrossing as the first; also, what an incredible final scene. More than one character changes on this almost 2 ½ hour journey that always had my attention. This even has a sort of horror sequence involving dead-eyed addicts in the slums of Yokohama which should be shown as an anti-drug advert.

Of course, what's in front of the camera is as impressive as what was behind the camera (the score, cinematography, framing, etc.) There are quality performances across the board; Toshiro Mifune is seemingly always the standout when he's the lead but I also have to give credit to Tatsuya Nakadai as the leader of the investigation. If you love Kurosawa but somehow haven't seen this... you need to rectify this problem.

The Jewel Of The Nile

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Lewis Teague

Starring: Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner, Danny DeVito, Spyros Fokas, Avner Eisenberg

From: 20th Century Fox

Featuring the most unexpected usage of Freaks Come Out at Night.

A few years ago I saw and reviewed Romancing the Stone. That was a first time watch (in full; I had seen parts of that and this as a kid as my mom liked both) and it was good for what it was... an amusing and light adventure w/ plenty of laughs and some nice scenery. As Jewel is going to leave Prime next week it was time to finally give this a shot. Now, I heard this had production issues, but it wasn't until afterwards I discovered what they were: this was in fact rushed into production, Kathleen Turner did not like the story at all but was forced to stay under penalty of being sued for many millions of dollars, filming in Morocco was not smooth due to errors & the locals being corrupt, several crew members died in a plane crash, others had near-miss wrecks, and most tragically, Diane Thomas-who wrote the script to Romancing the Stone and the story of how she pitched this to Michael Douglas at the coffee shop she worked at is great-died in a car crash shortly before this came out. Apparently she did uncredited work on Nile but for certain the story here is not as strong as in Stone.

There are contrivances which drive the lead duo apart; Turner ends up in “Northern Africa” where an Arab ruler is about to take over a country and he's actually a corrupt A-hole who wants to control the titular jewel. He wants her to write a puff piece autobiography, which does not turn out well and it's both Douglas & DeVito who have to try and save her. Much wackiness ensues, including a “Nubian” tribe & Arab tribespeople who carry around giant boomboxes that blast Whodini's Freaks Come Out at Night... really. While there are stereotypes, for me it has not aged so badly that the movie is full of cringe; some of DeVito's one-liners are questionable now but otherwise I did not shake my head at those elements. Some of the effects, however...

I'll be kind and give this a “fine” rating. While the original is better overall, the fact that the finished product did not turn out to be a disaster deserves some sort of credit. The star power of the three leads definitely helps, as does the interesting action scenes & rather peculiar score from Jack Nitszchke; a quality end credits song from Billy Ocean was nice too. A few things did tickle me pink and perhaps only I would feel this way. After the fantasy opening, I need not ever wonder anymore what Douglas in Cutthroat Island would have been like; the same goes for him drinking a Budweiser... for some reason I am not sure if he's actually had a can of Bud in his life. The 80's-ness of this was confirmed when the comedy troupe The Flying Karamazov Brothers have prominent roles and moments were shoehorned in for the purpose of showing off their talents.

It was still light entertainment which had laughs, so this was not a decision I later regretted.

Race For Your Life, Charlie Brown

Race for Your Life,Charlie Brown (1977)

Runtime: 76 minutes

Directed by: Bill Melendez/Phil Roman

Starring: The usual Peanuts crew

From: Paramount

Something I saw only due to its good nature and short 76 minutes runtime.

I won't go into the circumstances but there was only enough time to see something relatively short and as this was a nice respite from all the depressing/sad material I've watched in the past week or so, this is where I ended up. The plot is not what you'd call complex: the usual Peanuts gang is at a summer camp & they have to deal with a group of bullies-one of whom was of course given buck teeth. Much of this is devoted to a big raft race; as it takes several days and the gang use an outboard motor among other things to cheat, you don't want to scrutinize this plot as an adult. After all, Snoopy & Woodstock also participate in this rafting race.

That said, this was a genial good time. The crew is segregated into boys and girls which leads to the expected conflict; also providing laughs was Peppermint Patty often asking her ladies for a vote (no matter how absurd the situation) and always proclaiming she wants democracy; at least here there was no cries of stolen elections or fraudulent votes... and of course Charlie Brown-known as Chuck to some-gets called a blockhead and is yelled at when he was installed as the leader, usually unfairly.

As an adult and seeing this for likely the first time in more than 3 decades, several things do stand out which I had zero memory of. Sally threatening to kick someone's ass more than once through colorful dialogue was unexpected; so was the at times funky score. But the most surprising moment came in the beginning, when they are traveling to the camp and Snoopy & Woodstock aren't on the bus w/ everyone else. Rather, they are on a motorcycle in an obvious homage to... EASY RIDER. Needless to say, I had no knowledge of that as a little kid; that was a nice gag for the parents seeing this w/ their tykes. That returns at the end, which results in psychedelic end credits. I figured ol' Snoopy & Woodstock were born to be wild.

Blow The Man Down

Blow the Man Down (2019)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Bridget Savage Cole/Danielle Krudy

Starring: Sophie Lowe, Morgan Saylor, June Squibb, Annette O'Toole, Margo Martindale

From: Amazon

Those that are loving Sea Shanty Tik Tok, this is a motion picture for you.

Perhaps this should have been seen earlier in the month, when that trend was red-hot and I had heard Blow the Man Down featured a few of those. However, I'll presume it's still popular so it was timely to check this out. Before this past week started, it was NOT the plan by myself to see a bunch of movies that have depressing content, sad moments, death, or someone's mom passing away; that's just how it turned out. It won't be a trend that will be continuing for weeks to come. As for the sea shanties you sometimes hear here, of course none of them are Wellerman (which is about whaling anyhow) but the ones featured here are quite catchy, and it was quite the inspired idea to use them as a sort of Greek chorus.

I've heard comparisons to The Coen Brothers and I suppose it's understandable. The fact that it was written/directed by a pair of women and stars another pair of women as sisters who work in the fishing industry in a coastal Maine fishing town... that did intrigue. It starts off with their mom's funeral and due to her illness they are in dire financial straits despite the fact mom & the two daughters owned a store in that bucolic village. The sisters argued w/ each other so one of them left and this resulted in a crime that both have to cover up. Then it's revealed that the town has its dark side where various crimes occur.

This had potential and to be honest, not all of it was realized. Be that as it may, I can still rate it as good and there are no regrets giving this a shot. It was nice to see some familiar faces, like Annette O'Toole, June Squibb and Margo Martindale-who was the true highlight; however, special credit will be given to both Morgan Saylor and Sophie Lowe as the sisters. They had nice chemistry with each other & delivered w/ their performances where they had to display a range of emotions. There was also an interesting score from John Dykstra & Brian McOmber which fit the setting... and personally I was amused that in a soundtrack which otherwise was sea shanties or random modern rock tunes, TWO songs from The Greg Kihn Band show up, one you'll know and the other has languished in obscurity for almost the past 40 years now. This was something I was happy about; as I've alluded to before, I prefer tunes of an older vintage as they don't write 'em like that anymore...

Directors Bridget Savage Cole & Danielle Krudy may go on to bigger & better things in the future. As is, this was still a fine way to spend an hour and a half. I wouldn't mind visiting Harpswell, Maine (where much of this was filmed), as long as it doesn't feature murder or drug use.

Snoopy, Come Home

Snoopy, Come Home (1972)

Runtime: 81 minutes

Directed by: Bill Melendez

Starring: The typical Peanuts characters

From: Cinema Center Films

A dog dish worn as a hat will always be tres chic.

A few weeks ago I revisited A Boy Named Charlie Brown after having not viewed it in at least 30 years; this seemed like the right time to do the same with the second in this four film series... one that I had faint memories of being the saddest. For me personally it wasn't brutal or punishing despite its plot being Snoopy & a debuting Woodstock visiting his original owner-a young girl named Lila-in the hospital w/ an unidentified illness that may be some sort of cancer (even if I'll forever have mournful memories of visiting a loved one in a hospital as that had to be done on many days last year); it still is the most melancholy as all the main characters are devastated at the thought of Snoop possibly returning to Lila permanently.

For me this was pretty good overall; it has some interesting interludes such as a carnival visit and beach antics which weren't distracting from the main story. Snoopy started to feel unwanted at home so there is motivation for him to ditch Charlie Brown for good... and he not only felt like a blockhead due to his attitude towards his dog, but was devastated at the thought of losing Snoopy. Don't worry, there are still laughs to be had throughout, moments that will delight the young ones (that's for those reading this that have small children; that said, who knows how they'll react to the sad scenes) and the early 70's light pop/rock soundtrack also helped.

I had no memory of several elements: that includes the subplot of Snoopy experiencing discrimination as various buildings and modes of transportation don't allow dogs, Thurl Ravenscroft singing a ditty about there being “No Dogs Allowed”, or Snoopy and Peppermint Patty being BFF's to the point that they have “dates” on the beach. Peculiar, but I won't look too deeply into that.

O-Bi, O-Ba: The End Of Civilization

O-Bi, O-Ba: The End of Civilization (O-Bi, O-Ba: Koniec Cywilizacji) (1985)

Runtime: 85 minutes

Directed by: Piotr Szulkin

Starring: Jerzy Stuhr, Krystyna Janda, Kalina Jedrusik, Mariusz Dmochowski, Marek Walczewski

From: Zespol Filmowy “Perspektywa”

O-Bi, O-Ba, The End of Civilization... brah. If the Ark don't come then life won't go on.

With such a title (which I understand came to director Piotr Szulkin because his infant daughter liked saying o-bi, o-ba; no, really) my mind can only think of a hit-one of many-from a legendary rock group. However, the film is far more bleak than that upbeat catchy ditty. I've heard that other post-apocalyptic pictures from behind the Iron Curtain are better (especially Dead Man's Letters) but as there are multiple copies of this around-some easier to find than others-this is what I went with... although me chuckling at its title is another big reason why this Polish picture was selected.

Nuclear war has happened and right before the fit hit the shan, various people were convinced to enter a large building covered by a dome; this was done with the false promise that an Ark would eventually show up and save them all. A year later, the building is falling apart, most everyone there is crying for the Ark to finally show up and a guy who for some reason is named SOFT is among the people, attempting to find someone to try and fix the crumbling dome. He-and we-realize that just about everyone there is crazy, whether they are all of the lower class or those fortunate privileged few who are able to be lounge lizards and wear funny 80's clothes. I am personally glad that even in Communist Poland, lounges with neon lights and funny 80's clothing was a thing.

Anyway, this was a cerebral and philosophical movie which brought up many interesting ideas and points as the different characters reacted to this horrible world they lived in, where many don't get enough food and literally have to fight for scraps or the paper-infused foodstuff that comes out of a chute-again, this is all true-and not even those higher up on the chain want to be there. They found what looked like a giant abandoned factory to film in and it was perfect for this tale; most of it was bathed in blue light which I loved for aesthetic reasons. Most of the cast was unfamiliar to me although the guy that played Soft (Jerzy Stuhr) was co-star in Three Colors: White and was the lead in Dekalog: X. Personally, I was amused that he looked like a Brundlefly creation of two different people I know.

For a low budget, an interesting world was created and it was full of allegory concerning life in Communist Poland, not all of which I picked up on but they had to be sly enough to get that commentary past the censors. While it had some of the expected weirdness from beyond the Iron Curtain, it was rather straightforward; O-Bi, O-Ba is not complex like Stalker by any means... and apparently Szulkin did create more intricate stories in some of his other work. As I've heard high praise from some for the director in general, eventually I'll watch more of what he created.

Becky

Becky (2020)

Runtime: 93 minutes

Directed by: Jonathan Millot/Cary Murnion

Starring: Lulu Wilson, Kevin James, Joel McHale, Robert Maillet, Amanda Brugel

From: Several different companies

Yes, a dog dies here too... the whole “pet gets killed” trend is one I hope vanishes from modern movie-making.

Last year as the pandemic was raging hard and people were starved for entertainment, some sang praise for this motion picture; not only was it bizarre to see Kevin James as a killer heel, so was viewing an angsty 13 year old girl wreck adult male criminals. Earlier in the month it was available as a cheap rental on Amazon and last night was finally the time... before I go on, the reason why the titular Becky was an incredibly moody kid was not just her being a 13 year old girl. Rather, her mom died a little while ago due to an unnamed illness in a hospital-despite what I went through in 2020 concerning what happened to my mom and how it required me visiting hospitals and later hospice for weeks before she passed away... that did not negatively impact my viewing of this aside from feeling a little melancholy. No film has done that since late last July, although more than once it did hit close to him.

Anyway, she and dad go to a house that he owns in the woods. By sheer chance, James and some pals escape from prison at the same time and end up at the same location to retrieve a MacGuffin... which was truly one of a Hitchcock sort as while it was important to the bad guys, its significance was never explained and it was never critical for the audience to know specifically what it was meant for. What a surprise it was for me that James and his cohorts were all Neo-Nazi a-holes, made clear from the horrid giant tattoos they had. If this wasn't enough motivation for Becky to be pissed, bad things happen and holy cow was this even more graphically violent/gory than I had been led to believe. I mean, the most shocking moment was something I'd expect from Fulci and another over the top moment might as well have been in something like Braindead/Dead Alive, although I imagine it'd have been better lit to show off an effect that I presume was dark here for a reason.

While the movie at times is ham-fisted, it is successful at delivering what people would expect when they go into a motion picture hearing it's about a young teen girl getting the better of Neo-Nazi prison escapees in a blood-soaked action thriller. Most of this is at least competent and a big asset is that Lulu Wilson was swell as Becky. I know most are interesting in hearing how Kevin James did in such a departure from his usual. To be frank, I have never seen him in anything else as I have zero interest in such things as The King of Queens, the latest atrocious Adam Sandler production or Paul Blart; he was fine as a horrible human being who has a swastika tattooed on the back of his bald noggin.

I am just not sure if the framing device at the very beginning/very end was needed...

Virus

Virus (Fukkatsu No Hi) (1980)

Runtime: I saw the full 156 minute version

Directed by: Kinji Fukasaku

Starring: Bo Svenson, George Kennedy, Masao Kusakari, Chuck Connors, Olivia Hussey, & many others

From: Haruki Kadokawa Office

Note: What I saw last night was the full 156 minute version rather than the edited 108 (or shorter) minute cut that took out most of the Japanese scenes.

For years I have known of this motion picture; its plot and international cast fascinated me. The desire to check this out increased due to the unfortunate reality of the global pandemic; its long runtime and apparent downbeat plot meant that it was only last night when I was finally struck with the inspiration to give this (the most expensive Japanese movie ever at the time) a go.

Those used to more Hollywood productions of this ilk-whether or not it has an all-star cast-will probably be surprised at how bleak this was. For certain it is not as haunting or depressing as something like Come and See or Threads... then again this isn't great like those two are. It's still an unflinching look-done more than competently-at how most people on Earth would die if the Americans (of course) created an unstoppable virus which not only killed humans but also wildlife. Indeed, things would be pretty awful and judging by real life, their portrayal of politicians and people bickering w/ each other over how to handle this crisis... that is accurate. As the virus is dormant in cold weather, that is why the surviving members of humanity are in Antarctica. If MacReady had been around then things may have turned out alright but as he wasn't...

The last half hour or so, it did start to lose me with its contrivances and how miserable it became. That is a shame as before that it was an intriguing story which at least was unafraid to bring up some icky questions concerning this horrible scenario... such as how it'd be if there were 863 people left on Earth and only 8 of them are women. The film at least looks nice as it has many famous faces together: Bo Svenson, George Kennedy, Chuck Connors, Olivia Hussey, Glenn Ford, Robert Vaughn, Henry Silva, Edward James Olmos, and Sonny Chiba... & it's all directed by Kinji Fukasaku. Even with the criticism it was still a good movie to me overall; there are no regrets spending 2 ½ hours w/ this last night.

Thankfully COVID-19 has not been as deadly as this movie's virus (mm-88), although the real life terror has been draining on me; quite a few people I know have contracted it. Let's hope humanity never has to deal with a pandemic this lethal.

Jazz On A Summer's Day

Jazz on a Summer's Day (1959)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Bert Stern

Starring: An incredible lineup of artists

From: Galaxy Productions/Raven Film

Late last night this played on Turner Classic Movies as a tribute to Black performers on Martin Luther King Jr. Day in the United States. It was a documentary filmed at the 1958 Newport Jazz Festival in Rhode Island. It alongside the companion Newport Folk Festival has been around for decades, although not always in Newport... but that'd take way too long to explain here. As qualifications for the America's Cup sailing competition took place in the area at the same time, the first half of this would occasionally showcase that as the musicians played their tunes. For some reason, some time was also spent showing some random white dudes in a random band playing Dixieland jazz outdoors in random locations around Newport, and once in a 1920's roadster. The yachting footage is one thing but I would have preferred more of the legends on display and less random white band.

All that being said, I can say that this is very good; look at the talent that appeared here: Louie Armstrong, Dinah Washington, Mahalia Jackson (this festival did not just showcase jazz), Chuck Berry, and Thelonious Monk. 50's jazz is a field I need to do a deep dive on as I've enjoyed what little I've heard in my lifetime. It was a treat seeing all those legends captured live; also noteworthy is the talent which did not appear here, perhaps because some of them were “too wild.” That includes the Miles Davis Quintet-which had John Coltrane at the time-Dave Brubeck, Benny Goodman, Duke Ellington, Joe Turner, and Ray Charles... who admittedly was just on the cusp of reaching crossover success. I'd love to time travel and attend all four days of that festival.

Frequent crowd shots not only showed the audience & the respect they had for the diverse group of talent performing, some stellar late 50's fashion was also on display. The crowd also had a bit of diversity, although it was mainly “the whites” who comprised those in attendance. Personally, I always enjoy the phenomenon of “White People Dancing”, which is my joy at seeing white people attempt to dance despite a distinct deficiency of rhythm. It was amusing to see that in Jazz on a Summer's Day. Even with my light criticism and my desire for this to be longer than 83 minutes, overall this was a documentary I was still glad to see... and also hear due to its aural delights. If you're huge fans of jazz and/or gospel, this is a must-watch.

I Watch More Laurel & Hardy

In particular, the 1929 silent short Liberty. I explain why below: 

The way I've been feeling as of late, a short devoted to a pair of men unsuccessfully exchanging pants with each other was what I needed.

I won't go into details but 2021 has not gotten off to the best start; some days haven't been so hot. Of course it's mild compared to some of the days I had in 2020 but that does not diminish how poor some days have been. Last night was not the time to see something feature length. Instead, I went w/ one of Laurel & Hardy's most popular shorts. The very idea that the plot solely revolves around the duo escaping from prison, putting on the wrong pair of pants in the getaway vehicle, and they are unable to find a spot to exchange trousers... either greatly absurd or absurdly great.

Turns out, trying to find a spot out in public in Los Angeles is difficult; this leads to many awkward situations where others spot these two men taking off their pants. This leads to the duo walking the girders of a still under construction high rise (the highlight of this short) and... a crustacean. In less than 20 minutes this was pretty consistently funny AND had a brief appearance from a pre-fame Jean Harlow, meaning that I now know she had multiple appearances with this legendary duo. It also ends on a great visual gag. Like I said before, more from Laurel & Hardy needs to be viewed by myself.

Monsieur Hulot's Holiday

Monsieur Hulot's Holiday (Les Vacances de Monsieur Hulot) (1953)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: Jacques Tati

Starring: Tati, Nathalie Pascaud, Micheline Rolla, Lucien Fregis, Valentine Camax

From: Several French companies

Monsieur Hulot: Agent of Chaos?

Recently I realized my Criterion Channel subscription should be used more often; coupled that with another idea that I should finally try a Jacques Tati movie as the character of Hulot sounds like something up my comedic alley, and it only made sense to see the film that introduced Mr. Hulot.

There isn't too much of a plot and minimal dialogue. Instead, a modest seaside resort town in France is shown as the lead is on holiday. He drives a crappy (and obscure) 1920's French roadster, sometimes offering fellow vacation-goers a ride. Hulot is a tall, lanky and awkward human being who is on the oblivious side; I do understand the negative reviews. Aside from how the humor was done, the viewer could be irritated w/ this character.

While not every scene worked for me, there were enough laughs throughout this series of vignettes where this gets a nice rating from me. One key detail I noticed which hasn't been noted too often in the reviews seen with my eyes: Hulot seemed to be an Agent of Chaos. What I mean is that whenever he appeared he would not just cause havoc due to his actions... it seemed like his mere presence caused others in the vicinity to act batty. A few of the characters grew to hate him but even they weren't immune to that effect. Aside from the physical humor and sight gags, this also offered up satirical barbs against various members of the French middle class in post World War II society. It seemed like some of them had no fun even if they were accompanied by their family and they should have enjoyed what looked like a quaint and pleasant town to visit. It was not venomous stings, though; like everything else in Holiday, the critiques were presented in a breezy and pleasant matter. Also gentle is a jazz motif that is heard... perhaps a bit too often but at least I liked it.

Due in part to the unique way this was done, that helps in me giving this a high rating. In hindsight, seeing this (and in the future I'll check out more of Monsieur Hulot's adventures) helps explain why the French used to love Jerry Lewis. This easily compares to his The Bellboy-from 1960-and Monsieur Hulot's Holiday was a popular motion picture in its native country. It also reminds me that I should see some more of Jerry's work.

The Marksman

The Marksman (2021)

33% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 55 reviews)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Robert Lorenz

Starring: Liam Neeson, Jacob Perez, Juan Pablo Raba, Katheryn Winnick, Teresa Ruiz

From: Open Road/Voltage

Yes, the dog dies. That has to be mentioned as I know that some in the general public consider that to be a deal-breaker in entertainment so if you and/or your significant other also share those feelings... you have been warned. The main reason for seeing this yesterday was that I had free time to visit a cineplex in an Orlando suburb and as I am still paying for AMC A-List, might as well use it, right?

Like with Honest Thief when I saw it a few months ago, my opinion is that the movie is rather formulaic. In fact, both are basically similar: a military man is unwittingly roped into running for his life from villains, he has to kill a few of them, an innocent party he knows is dragged into the mess, and law enforcement can't always be trusted. In this case, he is a rancher named Jim Hanson (not Henson) who is down on his luck and he transport a young boy who is an illegal immigrant to Chicago because “The Cartel” is after him due to something bad that his uncle did.

At least for me this was predictable and one moment was so cliché and goofy, a few people in the crowd scoffed & laughed at it. All that said, to me it was still a competent motion picture which was acceptable to me; at least it's not unwatchable crap like the Taken sequels. What action there is, it's not shaky-cam or edited to hell. In general the filmmaking was fine-cinematography, the score, the acting, etc. Naturally, Neeson's presence really does help. Something different here was that it was from Robert Lorenz, Eastwood's second unit director for many years now. As others have noted, if Eastwood was a few decades younger, no doubt he would have played the lead.

In a few hours I'll return w/ a review of something entirely different.

Ju-On: The Grudge

Ju-On: The Grudge (2002)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Takashi Shimizu

Starring: Megumi Okina, Misaki Ito, Misa Uehara, Yui Ichikawa, Kanji Tsuda

From: Several different Japanese companies

Certainly the messiest onryo I've ever seen.

Back this past Halloween season, I finally saw the original Ring, and it received a favorable rating. Elsewhere, I was asked if I had viewed any of The Grudge series of films; I had not, whether it be from Japan or the USA. As this was on Prime last night seemed like the right time to experience this. Turns out, I do prefer Ring to this... although I can still give Ju-On a nice rating.

As there quite frankly isn't too much to this story, it won't be the lengthiest review from me. The plot and its nonlinear nature was not expected, and it can be questioned if that was the best way to tell this. What are huge benefits to Ju-On is the general idea of its story being so creepy (a cursed house due to a horrific event... and it affects anyone who lives or even lives in the house afterwards) and the genuine scares that are present. There are quite a few images and at least one scene I'll never forget due to its chilling nature. This was obviously low-budget affair which does not have much in the way of graphic moments or gore, yet it wasn't really necessary for how this was presented. Both the images and sound help

Perhaps one day I'll check out the American remake The Grudge, due to it also being a creation of Takashi Shimizu. For all I know that would be the place where a pressing question I had was asked... or maybe it was somewhere else among all the media this story has been presented. Why exactly do all the onryo (vengeful Japanese ghosts) leave garbage all around the house as a calling card? I have not even began trying to look for that information myself-out of context it is pretty funny.

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk

Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk (2016)

44% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 158 reviews)

Runtime: 113 minutes

Directed by: Ang Lee

Starring: Joe Alwyn, Garrett Hedlund, Steve Martin, Chris Tucker, Vin Diesel, Kristen Stewart

From: Several different companies

I am as conflicted w/ this movie as Billy Lynn was w/ his predicament.

The fall of 2019 I was able to see Gemini Man in 4K (in a Dolby Cinema, no less), 60 frames per second and 3D; the effect blew me away and it definitely elevated that film for me. I am sure it's not as good a time in a “lesser” format and the same has to be true for Billy Lynn. As I was nowhere near the few cinemas that showed this in 120 fps and until last night was unable to see this on a 4K TV playing a 4K disc in a 4K player... thankfully due to someone I know I was able to experience this in the best manner possible. High frame rate for certain has a different look and I'll never fault anyone's brain for rejecting it (as I've known people who felt that way); it does not negatively impact me. As of now hardly any filmmakers have even tried to shoot feature films in HFR or better utilize the abilities of a 4K player. Of course, I realize that would require many terabytes of storage for a motion picture-among other issues-so I suppose it'll still be awhile until there's more than just random people on YouTube shooting nature/city footage or them sitting down and talking about tech/showing off their movie collection in 4K.

Anyhow... now that I finally went on this long halftime walk, I wish this would not have been so uneven for me. Based on a novel I've never read a word of-but I understand is relatively faithful-it covers the titular Billy Lynn as he and his small Bravo squad are on tour during a break from a tour of duty in Iraq... he did a heroic act during a firefight and was awarded a Silver Star. Much of it is Thanksgiving as he and his mates are at a Not Dallas Cowboys football game (the Cowboys have played on Thanksgiving for decades now) and will appear during a big halftime show... involving Destiny's Child. Of course, while the songs Lose My Breath and Soldier-which were LONG ago forgotten by me-are heard, the ladies who portrayed Kelly, Michelle and Beyonce are never shown from the front; that came off as being kind of goofy.

When the movie worked for me, it was when the focus was on Billy Lynn's conflicts. He was a screw-up before he joined the military, where it seemed as he was a good fit. His sister does not wish for him and the rest of Bravo squad to go on another tour of duty for a variety of reasons; in addition, his deed still was not enough to save his superior and no one back in America quite understands the horrors he has experienced. I can't do much complaining there nor the performance of Joe Alwyn; this was the first time I saw him act and I was impressed. He is more than just the boyfriend of one of the world's biggest stars. In a cast with a bizarre mix of talent (Steve Martin, Chris Tucker and Vin Diesel?!), he shone brightest, along with Kristen Stewart as the sister and Makenzie Leigh as the Not Cowboys cheerleader he has a few hour fling with. In addition, the Iraq scenes were typically pretty good.

Regrettably, this also has some dumb moments, an important character who was always a jerk to me and I never warmed up to (was this the intent? Presumably not) and I wish there would have been more Iraq footage or scenes with Billy's whole family and less stereotypical nonsense w/ some of his squad, the subplot of their heroics possibly being turned into a movie, or the strange decision for the boys to have multiple conflicts with... stadium security? Yes. It is quite disappointed for me to be so conflicted with the movie-as a good amount of it does work. It's disappointing that this would swing wildly from a dopey brawl to a nice emotional scene between brother and sister in just a few minutes (to list the most blatant example); therefore, a rating just above average of 3 stars seems like the right way to go.

All that said, there are no regrets concerning my viewing of Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk. Even if HFR is not the future of the motion picture industry, I am glad that high-profile directors are experimenting w/ it and I wouldn't mind seeing others at least make the attempt. One last thing, for those that are familiar with the National Football League. They were unable to use official NFL trademarks; thus, a fake Cowboys was created. They were like the real life Dallas franchise: success in the past but they've been mediocre at best for the past quarter century, mainly due to a meddlesome owner.

White Heat

White Heat (1949)

Runtime: 114 minutes

Directed by: Raoul Walsh

Starring: James Cagney, Edmond O'Brien, Virginia Mayo, Margaret Wycherly, Steve Cochran

From: Warner Bros.

Made it ma! Top of the world!

Last night was finally the night for me to view this motion picture and have it be discussed here now. What a return to Warner Brothers it was for Cagney; he had an acrimonious relationship w/ the studio back in the 30's but after flopping when he tried to produce some movies on his own in the 40's, he really needed the paycheck. From such circumstances came an effort that echoed the gangster movies he did earlier in the career but this was even better than those.

From the very beginning it has your undivided attention as an epic heist is done on a mail train carrying a huge amount of cash. Not only is Cody Jarrett mentally unstable and his psyche is not helped by his occasional migraine headaches, he is fanatically devoted to his Ma, who accompanies him on his crime sprees. In a pinch he takes a false rap to create a false alibi but an undercover cop is planted to nail him on the heist. From there comes an even bigger event that closes the film and it is a thing of legend.

What a cornucopia of characters: Cody, Ma, his put-on wife, all of his lackeys, a guy in prison who is hard of hearing but is an expert at lip reading, associates that wish to take charge of the gang by having Jarrett killed in prison, etc. Not only was it fascinating seeing all these people interact with each other and try to outwit their opposition, not a moment was wasted in the script; the almost two hours flew by. To be perfectly honest, movies set in prison or have long stretches in that setting aren't always to my tastes-among other things, that can be incredibly rote & cliché. However, that was no issue here.

It was a more than capable cast, no matter if I recognized the actors or not; for me, the most familiar names of the co-stars was Virginia Mayo and Edmond O'Brien. However, of course it was Cagney who shone brightest... it was the best I had ever seen him, which is no small feat. It was clear from this performance alone why he was so famous back in the day and still has plenty of fans among film aficionados today; he was simply a star and that transcends the time period he worked in. If you enjoy any or all of the following then this is a must-see: 1940's crime dramas w/ violence, film noir, undercover films, James Cagney, prison movies. It receives the highest possible rating from me because... well, pun intended it worked like gangbusters.

A Surprising Discovery On Amazon Prime

Back in late 2012 I saw and reviewed a movie called Shanghai Joe (review here). A few days ago, I discovered that some company unknown to me restored it and that print can be seen on Prime; as that was far better than the print I first saw all those years ago... it is an entertaining Spaghetti Western mixed w/ a kung-fu flick.

Shaft's Big Score!

Shaft's Big Score! (1972)

Runtime: 104 minutes

Directed by: Gordon Parks

Starring: Richard Roundtree, Moses Gunn, Wally Taylor, Joseph Mascolo, Rosalind Miles

From: MGM

I do understand why there are some blaxploitation fans (or 70's genre fans in general) who do not love the original Shaft or its sequels. There's plenty of blaxploitation which is wilder-look at something like Truck Turner or Black Belt Jones-and more over the top... whether it comes to the plot, the situations, the clothing, the music, etc. Personally, the OG Shaft is very good to me due to its simple yet interesting story, colorful characters, the gritty vibe from its low budget, the quality score from Isaac Hayes-it's not just the theme song although that is still legendary half a century later-and a magnetic lead performance from Richard Roundtree. Recently, I purchased the Warner Archive Release of all three Shaft pictures from the 70's; when streaming the two sequels in HD is not possible, this seemed like the correct choice.

The overall product is naturally not as strong as the first; yet, to me it was still good. With the luxury of a bigger budget, all of this is shown on screen as Shaft investigates the death of a friend; turns out, that buddy's business partner double-crossed him in the name of greed & shady deals w/ underworld types. Bumpy Jonas (an underworld type that was a key figure in the first movie) also returns. Even if the movie is “leisurely paced” at times I was never bored with this tale; after all, at times there are interesting characters present-the key example of that was another mob boss, an Italian named Mascola who was chill-except when he got mad and did the typical mob boss things-and loved playing the clarinet.

The bigger budget did help create more expansive action scenes; this includes a car chase which involved a helicopter and that changed into a speedboat being chased by said helicopter. While Hayes did not do the score this time around, it was fine to my ears which happens to enjoy that particular genre anyhow. Of course, the biggest asset to making this sequel work for me was Roundtree's charisma and Shaft still being a bad mother... OK I'll shut my mouth. His bedding of multiple women and being a black private dick (as in, private eye) has not changed since the OG motion picture.

The Shaft starring Samuel L. Jackson was meh overall, although it did not look so bad since I saw the '19 Shaft which is a terrible “comedy” that craps on millennials in a vulgar manner and not even Roundtree returning as John Shaft, Sr. could help save it. At least those don't diminish how entertaining the original pictures are.

Johnny Mnemonic

Johnny Mnemonic (1995)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: Robert Longo

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Dina Meyer, Ice-T, Takeshi Kitano, Dolph Lundgren

From: TriStar

A movie I finally saw because of... a meme.

Recently I wondered how many films from the past were set in 2021; I never bothered looking before I saw a meme elsewhere which noted that this infamous bomb was not only set in 2021, but there was a global virus which people were protesting and “Big Pharma” was the enemy. It really seemed like the right time to discover after over a quarter century just why many were left crestfallen once they saw this Cyberpunk movie. The script-which I understand was highly changed by the time it was filmed-was from Cyberpunk God William Gibson... between that and all the cult figures in the cast, this should not have been such a mess.

The general idea seemed fine: in 2021 couriers carry information implanted in their brains. Keanu plays Johnny, who receives data that a Big Pharma corporation don't want public as it relates to the virus... it has nothing in common w/ COVID-19 and instead centers around an idea that loony conspiracy theorists believe but I think is hogwash as there's no credible evidence to believe it's true... although even then, a few unfortunately do believe that 5G is somehow responsible for the pandemic, which is a giant load of poppycock. Anyhow, various people in the underground help out Johnny, including a group that looked like The Lost Boys all grown up. The opening few minutes were already a harbinger of doom: not only in the giant infodump of an opening crawl identify 2021 as being “the second decade of the 21st century” instead of the third, a display notes that January 17th of this year (a week from today as I write this) is on a Thursday instead of Sunday! I know the Internet was not as popular as it is now but no one bothered to check and instead they just guessed?

For a movie that has cult actors like Keanu, Dina Meyer, Ice-T, Takeshi Kitano, Dolph Lundgren, Henry Rollins, and Udo Kier... what a damn shame then that the film was obviously cut (more like butchered) by the studios before it was released-as the final product (I saw the 96 minute version on YouTube and not the longer Japanese version which has some minor differences and a larger role for Kitano, who was woefully underutilized here... even if clearly he phonetically memorized his English dialogue) seemed like parts of the story were missing. That resulted in everything being so muddled. This obviously had a lot of money behind it due to the world that was practically created-along with the CG that is hilariously quaint by modern standards-this should have been far better even if the techno-jargon and other things would also seem quaint.

At least there were plenty of unintentional laughs which helped make this easy to digest. The identity of a character known only as Jones... LORD; it was like they tried to top Kuato from the original Total Recall. An actual real life device of the 90's was named: a Thompson Eyephone, which was some sort of thing you wore on your head... so no, the movie did not predict the iPhone, although like many futuristic works, their version of Skype was presented. Dolph has long hair and a beard as some sort of cybernetic street preacher villain-it was wacky. The performances did vary-Meyer was a highlight... while this wasn't the best I've seen Reeves by any stretch. However, he has an incredible diatribe in the third act where he was PISSED about his current situation and how he instead wants room service w/ all its trappings at a Tokyo hotel-how have I not seen that or much of anything else from Johnny Mnemonic in a meme before?

Chappie

Chappie (2015)

32% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 228 reviews)

Runtime: 120 minutes

Directed by: Neill Blomkamp

Starring: The voice of Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, and (unfortunately) Die Antwoord

From: Columbia

More like CRAPPIE, am I right fellas?

Way back in 2016 on Prime Day I purchased a 3 Blu-ray disc set of Neill Blomkamp's theatrical movies... and of course he hasn't made any since then despite the rumors for YEARS that he's gonna do an Alien film. Back in '09 I was a rare person who did not like District 9; not my most controversial motion picture opinion but still one that few share. Seeing it a second time, I think my opinion became even more sour... between the nonsense story, giant plot holes, and characters I couldn't stand, the nice special effects couldn't make me enjoy the experience. Elysium was more of the same, so it took a sudden moment of inspiration all this time later to finally give this a shot. Turns out, Blomkamp just isn't for me.

I knew there was trouble early on when I heard one of the robot cops speak and it sounded just like Peter Weller as RoboCop; then it was seeing the failed would-be robot cop and it looked a lot like ED-209. The real horror came when Die Antwoord showed up... to be blunt, what repulsive people they are: that goes for their music, attitudes, beliefs, and appearance. As they were terrors on set (acting like THEY were much better actors than the actual actors present, along with being insufferable #@$^#%) and the friendship that the director had with these goofs before filming began did not last by the time shooting wrapped. Their “acting” skills was not as repulsive, but that is crossing a bar which was buried underneath the ground. As the crux of this film is seeing those two clowns trying to raise a sentient robot to commit crimes but also do humanistic things like panting... that is a problem. Also, could I roll my eyes any harder at them having bright yellow and pink submachine guns?

Again, this has a stupid story and stupid characters. I love the fact that Sigourney Weaver doesn't think there could be a way for a weapons manufacturer to license out the incredible new tech of artificial consciousness to someone or find another method of making a crapton of cash out of such an astounding feat that one of her employees created at home. Such “logic” is on display throughout. It was nice that the action was not as shaky-cam as it was in Elysium but that is no reason to see this; not even Hugh Jackman's wacky turn as (what I've heard described as) a psychotic Australian PE teacher is enough to offer this any sort of recommendation.

Point is, this seemed awfully derivative of other-and better-works of science fiction, ones worthy of seeing for the first time or revisiting. At least those typically address the questions of social commentary that Chappie brings up but never even tries to answer. That'd be a far better usage of time than seeing something from a director whose viewpoints in cinema seem awfully one-note; once he actually directs a feature film again, perhaps it is time to sing a new tune, you know. Not casting talentless goofballs in key roles and deciding that they should have their character names be their stage names... that would be another wise decision.

Blue Hawaii

Blue Hawaii (1961)

Runtime: 102 minutes

Directed by: Norman Taurog

Starring: Elvis, Joan Blackman, Angela Lansbury (!), Nancy Walters, Roland Winters

From: Paramount

As today would have been the 86th birthday of Elvis, it was time for the now yearly tradition of seeing something on or around the day of his birth. Blue Hawaii is one of his more famous motion pictures so this seemed like the right way to go. Plus, it'd provide enough silliness to brighten my mood and that was accomplished. One of the many lists I have created on Letterboxd is for the Elvis films I've viewed. It is now at 15 and while many are cheesy, most of them are at least OK.

Like in real life, the character The King played (Chadwick Gates) was returning from serving in the military. He has rich parents but is reluctant to return home-instead preferring to hang out on the beach with his Polynesian buddies and his half-native girlfriend. Once you see his parents, it becomes more understandable; his mom-played by Angela Lansbury! This is despite her only being about a decade older than Presley-runs the household and this transplanted Southern belle is rather domineering & overbearing. If being biased against the lower classes wasn't bad enough, she is also on the bigoted side as he doesn't like her son's girl due to her heritage. No wonder Chad doesn't want to work at his dad's factory (which prepares pineapples) despite its benefits. He at least does find a job... being a tour guide alongside his gal Maile-pronounced Miley.

At first I was worried Chad would be a real cad (as other Presley characters have been) as he smooches a random flight attendant as he disembarks the airplane. Thankfully he is otherwise faithful. Of course he has to lead around a female teacher who is escorting a quartet of high school girls around the state... but don't worry, he make it clear that he wants no part of any woman under the legal age and he abides by that. Personally, I'd be a fool if I found a gal like Joan Blackman who has a steady job and I'd be a philanderer instead of spending much time w/ her on a tropical beach...

Anyhow, this was more serious than many of his later efforts; Elvis was even able to impart some wisdom on the bitchy teen girl who caused nothing but trouble the entire time. While not all the humor worked, at least there were some decent laughs-along with a big brawl where Presley was able to use what I call KING-FU-meaning his version of martial arts. Music-wise, there seemed to be more songs than usual, which was alright with this leisurely-paced effort. After all, when you get to view the natural beauty of Hawaii, that is an asset. I was once in Oahu for about a week in 2000-I'd love to return one day as it was paradise. But back to the music... “Ito Eats” is actually about the prodigious stomach of a friend-otherwise it was a soundtrack that naturally was infused w/ Polynesian rhythms and also contains one of his most famous songs in general-the wedding reception standard Can't Help Falling in Love.

Thus, this is why Blue Hawaii is one of the most famous cinematic efforts from The King.

Dhoom 3

Dhoom 3 (2013)

Runtime: By the end I was feeling its 172 (!) minutes

Directed by: Vijay Krishna Acharya

Starring: Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Uday Chopra, Katrina Kaif, Tabrett Bethel

From: Yash Raj Films

In hindsight, not the best choice for the “forgetting about the chaos of January 6, 2021 blues”.

I won't get into the atrocious events of yesterday except to say that like many Americans, it really put a damper on my mood. Instead of a few things I had in mind for viewing, the decision was made to check out something that could elicit laughter. Through a series of factors-including having the almost 3 hours it would take for viewing-this was chosen. Indeed it did spark joy at times due to how stupid it was (I mean, it was about as dumb as Fate of the Furious, which is where I gave up on the Fast & Furious franchise) yet an ugly turn was taken and suddenly it did not seem so funny.

What an opening it had: most of this is set & filmed in Chicago-it begins in late 1990. A boy and his father are followed; of course both are South Asian and run a failing circus in Chi-town. After a magic show performed in front of the bankers who wish to foreclose fails to change their mind (gee, what a shock) something bad happens and as an adult, the son now wants revenge on that gosh-darn bank. If that isn't silly enough, the boy does some parkour to avoid bullies & despite the 1990 setting, some modern cars are in the background and a 20 dollar bill is shown which was not of its time as its design was issued in 1995.

If that isn't amazing enough, this was actually inspired by more than one CHRISTOPHER NOLAN motion picture. The Prestige and The Dark Knight seem to be the two most obvious; I've never actually seen The Prestige... because soon after it came out I heard on a messageboard what its plot was-honestly, it sounded so stupid there's never been any interest to give it a shot. That doesn't help my disdain for most Nolan, although even I can say he'd probably be insulted by how some of his ideas were used in Dhoom 3. Yes there are talented filmmakers in India but Bollywood-which this actually is as it's a Hindi language picture-trying to do that in a masala movie which has all those different genres plus several musical numbers... of course there were problems.

All that being said, our mismatched “heroes” come in from India to assist; after all, the villain leaves a Hindi message at each bank robbery he does (he also literally “makes it rain” on the public outside). Then again, I question both the heroes and the Chicago Police Department as perhaps they should have looked at the new Indian circus opening up in the same building that the villain's dad had in '90... I mean, it's an elaborate Cirque du Soleil sort of production.

More laughs are to be had... jet skis can still do impossible things; in addition, a motorcycle-which earlier successfully crossed over a busy street on a tightrope-can easily change to a jet ski while free-falling into the water or morph back into a motorcycle as it leaps out of the water. The attempted humor was worse than ever, which wasn't really a surprise. It's all amusing how dumb it was and funny that I got to see various sights from my childhood (I grew up about an hour and a half from Chicago, so I've been in and through there on a number of occasions. A few times I was at Six Flags Great America, which is a theme park that several scenes are set at) but it took a turn when a character was introduced...

This guy was autistic, or at least was supposed to be; even by motion picture standards it wasn't the most flattering portrayal of someone w/ that affliction. If that isn't questionable enough, our heroes refer to him as... what is commonly stated as “the R word” as to not offend anyone mentally disabled. Yeah, between that and the movie grinding to a halt for a long stretch for “storytelling”, that tanked this movie and not even the hilarity of the climax's location being the Contra Dam in Switzerland-the same place where the legendary bungee jump from GoldenEye occurred-yet the movie had the gall to act like this was some place right outside Chicago... not even that could save things.

At least the film looks pretty nice, had decent action scenes in & around Chicago and there's no complaints w/ the musical numbers. There should have been more Katrina Kaif-that is not a sexist comment. Sure, she is a pretty lady but her role was fun and she excelled at singing & dancing; she should have had more screen time, especially to do her thing. I'll just shrug my shoulders w/ the knowledge that the next thing I'll see shouldn't have such questionable moments.

Carrie

Carrie (1976)

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Brian De Palma

Starring: Sissy Spacek, Piper Laurie, Amy Irving, William Katt, John Travolta

From: MGM

Of course I had seen this before; however, that was long before I even joined Letterboxd so last night seemed like the right time to finally revisit this storied adaptation of Stephen King's first successful novel. I've never read said novel but I understand there are definitely differences, especially in the final act. How that act reads just from description, it seems as if the movie not being so over the top in its version of the tale was probably the right call, nevermind the added budget that would have been needed to tell the book's take on events.

Even those who haven't seen the movie in full likely know the plot of how poor high school senior Carrie White has a horribly abusive religious fanatic of a mother who has a warped take on what she worships, and almost as bad is the terror she faces while trying to earn her diploma due to her unusual and introverted ways. It is easy to feel sympathy for her, especially when she “blossoms into womanhood” late while in the shower after PE class, freaks out because she doesn't know what she is, and everyone else is true Mean Girl in reaction. This sets off the chain of events where Carrie ends up at the prom, and all holy Hell is unleashed.

At least the movie presents itself and its over the top nature right away as we end up in the girls locker room and many of them are shown clear as day fully nude. The bold nature of the film manages to mesh well w/ the serious drama involving Carrie & her mom along with the Mean Girls and how they are pissed as Carrie because they were punished by their PE teacher who rightly thought their behavior was crap. “Male gaze” is a valid criticism for a film otherwise about the perils of a girl becoming a woman and her reaction to horrific bullying, but that is De Palma for you... and I have enjoyed plenty of his movies.

The entire final act is pretty great as it's the prom and its aftermath... Carrie's revenge is glorious between the special effects that mostly still work 45 years later and his trademark split screen effect (along with others) are fully unleashed as Carrie fully unleashes her power... although of course the movie always had interesting framing and other interesting cinematographic tricks on display. While it wasn't filmed that way, through editing there were two key characters whose motivations were left ambiguous right up to the movie's big moment; that added dread as it was obvious things would eventually go wrong and it was just a question of who was all to blame for it.

What a cast it has; the likes of Amy Irving, Priscilla Pointer (real life mom and daughter were able to play the same here), Nancy Allen, John Travolta-I had forgotten how amusing the relationship between those two was-and Betty Buckley were highlights. However, it was of course Sissy Spacek and Piper Laurie who were both tremendous in their parts and it played a big role in making this as good as it was. Credit also has to go to the Pino Donaggio score, the start of a beautiful friendship between he and the director; in addition, there's the stinger of an ending which was so successful, the likes of Friday the 13th and countless others were “inspired” by it. Also, I do have to laugh that by all appearances, the character named Norma and the school being known as Bates High School were pure De Palma inventions; he's never been accused of keeping his influences a secret.

I've never seen any of the sequels/remakes and that may be for the best. It was a relief that I still enjoyed Carrie after all those years; those powers aren't used often until she gets PISSED at the prom and proper time it spent building the story. I've also never seen De Palma's similar Fury but perhaps one day...

I Am Sartana, Trade Your Guns For A Coffin

I Am Sartana, Trade Your Guns for a Coffin (C'e Sartana... Vendi La Pistola E Comprati La Bara!) (1970)

Runtime: 92 minutes

Directed by: Giuliano Carnimeo

Starring: George Hilton, Charles Southwood, Erika Blanc, Piero Lulli, Nello Pazzafini

From: Colt Produzioni Cinematografiche

Remember when I said I would be posting this last night?

I lied.

I won't get into the whole explanation why not, except that it involved me dozing off for a nap at a bad time. Barring major Internet issues in about 4 to 5 hours, I will be making another post and finally this site will be caught up with my Letterboxd account. Now, onto the show: 

Featuring surf guitar, Colt sandwiches, shot glass checkers & Jean-Paul Marat references.

Last night I returned to Arrow Video's streaming service; the selection certainly has expanded since I was last there. Now, they have all five Sartana films; none of them I had seen before and I went with the one that had the most amusing title. Note that their release of this is under Sartana's Here... Trade Your Pistols for a Coffin; both are amazing.

Turns out, this was the only entry to star George Hilton instead of Gianni Garko; no worries... sometime relatively soon I'll see the first in the series so I can compare & contrast. This was still a fun time. After all, this starts off with our hero having a picnic on a hill-where he eats an egg and a giant loaf of bread... and this is all that he eats in the film-sees a stagecoach robbery, and he extinguishes a lit fuse by... tossing his canteen into the air and shooting it so its water can land on the fuse! The actual plot revolves around an unscrupulous owner of a gold mine that is ripping off its workers w/ phony thefts & the various machinations as different parties conspire against each other and even the viewer isn't quite sure who to trust.

It's all interesting and I did chuckle at there being more than one improbable moment; however, what I give the most credit to is all the wacky touches this has. That includes:

* The score that at times seems was done w/ a surf guitar.

* Our hero only eating a loaf of bread w/ one hard-boiled egg.

* Sartana shoots people in unexpected ways. That includes “in the bathtub” and “through his beloved loaf of bread”.

* A bad guy practices shooting... by firing them at matches which are sticking up between his toes.

* Another Spaghetti Western hero-Sabata-shows up. Often, characters are used all willy-nilly in Italian cinema, as there must be no copyright laws over there which prevent such intellectual property from being used by anyone else. At least he is also portrayed as a badass; I'll have to see the official entries involving that character to see if he walks around carrying an umbrella as if he's Mary Poppins.

* BTW, the guy who played Sabata wasn't Lee Van Cleef; instead, it was an actor unknown to me who happened to look quite a bit like... John Cena. While it may not make money, I'd still love to see the actual John Cena in a Western.

* Yes, a game of checkers is played where the playing pieces are shot glasses full of alcohol.

* At one point Sartana references... Jean-Paul Marat?! That's an old figure from the French Revolution days; it'd take way too long to explain his historical significance so instead I'll recommend Wikipedia. Of course the rubes (one of whom was named MACHETE) had that reference fly right over their heads.

There's more that I dare not spoil. This Sartana picture was a pleasant surprise-which reminds me that I should seek out more Spaghetti Westerns.

Dhoom 2

Dhoom 2 (2006)

Runtime: 151 minutes

Directed by: Sanjay Gadhvi

Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Abhishek Bachchan, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Uday Chopra, Bipasha Basu

From: Yash Raj Films

It is time for me to catch up. I saw nothing on Sunday night but this was my Saturday night entertainment. In a few hours, what I saw Monday night: 

As typical, a messageboard post inspired me to check out Dhoom 2- it was a general discussion of wacky Indian cinema that sparked me to finally give this a whirl on Prime. Almost six years ago I experienced the first Dhoom, and “experience” is the right term. It was an even goofier riff on the original The Fast & the Furious where a criminal has to team up with a rigid cop to take out even worse criminals. It had absurd action and so much slow-motion/wind blowing through the cast's hair, Michael Bay likely would watch it with his pants off! The formula did not change in this second installment.

In general, the two leads return and this time they go after a master thief who is always in disguise and is only known as A. The detailed plot, I wouldn't even know where to begin so I won't really start. It's a rather preposterous tale where the last half takes in Rio. Unlike Fast Five there's a dialogue scene at a carnival, a dance scene at a carnival, and another dance scene at the base of the Christ the Redeemer statue. There's also the presence of the lady now known as Aishwarya Rai Bachchan; then and now, rather fetching. Then again, some may prefer another lovely dame, Bipasha Basu.

It's a movie that-naturally for Indian cinema-mixes in various genres. The humor aspect doesn't really work... at least the intentional stuff. Of course I howled with laughter at all the unintended laughs. I mean, c'mon... this has:

* Someone who somehow is on a jet ski underwater jumps out of the water high as if he was a dolphin.

* An important conversation happens... at a theatrical screening of Cars; yes, footage from Cars is seen.

* An even more important conversation happens... outdoors on a basketball court as they're in a 1 on 1 game while it's artfully pouring rain?! Yes. That was the most absurd moment, honestly.

* Perhaps the funniest “someone gets shot multiple times” moment I've ever seen.

* Someone out of nowhere is shown to have a twin; this is mainly done for romantic purposes.

* The clothing: there is some incredible mid 2000's fashion on display.

* The villain uses gravity gloves; Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol was not the first time such an idea was presented in cinema.

I could go on and on, but instead the review will be wrapped up now. The story and how its told is technically not good... in fact it's all over the place. However, I was never bored by its wackiness and naturally, the action scenes are OOT. Even when there is a LONG stretch at one point between them, the zaniness kept my attention. That said, I do prefer the original to this overall. It won't be another 6 years before I give Dhoom 3 a shot... and I have heard recent rumors that there will be a Dhoom 4 eventually.

Wonder Woman 1984

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

61% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 352 reviews)

Runtime: 151 minutes

Directed by: Patty Jenkins

Starring: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Kristen Wiig, Pedro Pascal, Robin Wright

From: Warner Bros.

How ironic that the Coca-Cola Zero “Finally, a sequel that doesn't disappoint” ad played before THIS.

This will be longer than usual... it has to be that way for all those that started following me in the past year or so. For those that are unaware, most superhero movies of the 21st century I haven't seen as such things usually do not interest me. I have seen some from DC and some from Marvel... as said many times previously, I have no preference between the two. The first Wonder Woman from a few years ago was seen by me and even with some silliness (especially in the final act) I still rated it 3 ½ stars as it was still enjoyable and the World War I setting was nice. That had to be clarified and not just to reassure anyone who may think that “sexism” played any part in my sour opinion. Instead of paying for HBO Max, the decision was made to see this at a smaller theatre chain; it was one of those places which also serves you food so I also had a late dinner as a movie w/ bad buzz was viewed. Going in, seeing something which was terrible was not in the cards, yet that is what occurred.

Thing is, the first 20 to 30 minutes I did not hate. At times it felt like Superman: The Movie; if only it did not turn into Superman III or Superman IV: The Quest for Peace... there were no major complaints as the story was set up and the new characters were introduced. The relationship between Diana Prince and Barbara Minerva, let's just say I am sure there's already been fan fiction written about the two and how they were implied lovers in this universe! As for Pedro Pascal as Max Lord: from what I heard and also his appearance, his name might as well have been “Ronald Crump.” That said, his behavior wasn't really that so at least did not get political in that sense and automatically alienate a decent amount of the potential audience. Max Lord... it's a shame now that if there's ever The Expendables 4, the lead bad guy can't be named that now. By the end of 1984, you realize that Lord's name is along the same throughput as Van Damme being named Jean Villain in The Expendables 2.

Anyhow, once this gets going and I realized what the film was all about, it became quite juvenile and just plain stupid, with plot holes and logical fallacies galore. When the realization came that Lord could have easily handled his Wonder Woman problem w/ the powers he had and yet it doesn't happen & the reasons why it wasn't attempted is never addressed... that broke the movie and made me glad this wasn't seen on HBO Max-I might have shut it off in disgust before the end credits rolled. The way that Chris Pine was brought back... what a contrivance. I did not even enjoy the action as it wasn't as good & the final battles are laughably bad. Honestly, the movie is just incredibly juvenile and simplistic. The messages it presents aren't bad ones at all (especially for children) yet it is presented in such an ingenuous way and the plot was such a mess, any joy in this was lost long before it limped to its flaccid conclusion.

The 80's setting more often than not seems superfluous. While I did not mind that it wasn't wall to wall neon aesthetic and filled with period songs, there still should have been more period songs than what little was heard. At least I can give props for the Frankie Goes to Hollywood song they used... and it wasn't the overexposed Relax. Overall, I won't fault those that liked or even loved Wonder Woman 1984. Personally-for someone who doesn't watch much in the genre-this seemed like the worst excesses and faults that are stereotypically applied to comic book movies, whether or not it is fair or true. To reiterate, how blockheaded and foolish this was totally killed any fun and joy I was having beforehand; this is why my rating is so harsh. The scene a minute into the end credits was cute and all but that did not brighten my mood.

To give a spoiler because it's an interesting anecdote... if you don't want to read it, feel free to stop here. Those that have seen this already or don't care about it being spoiled:

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A few days ago in a tweet I saw this compared to WISHMASTER; yes, the 1997 horror movie produced by Wes Craven. I was gobsmacked; the whole “dream stone” aspect was completely unknown to me before last night. The fact that this comparison was actually astute... amazing, although not as much as how ham-fisted that whole plot device was used in the film.

Strange Days

Strange Days (1995)

Runtime: 145 minutes

Directed by: Kathryn Bigelow

Starring: Ralph Fiennes, Angela Bassett, Juliette Lewis, Tom Sizemore (w/ hilarious hair), Michael Wincott

From: 20th Century Fox

This is the first of two reviews for today. The second will be more fiery than this: 

What better time than (the night of New Year's Eve) to finally revisit this picture? As always I did nothing of note on New Year's Eve so might as well check out a fictional world that's a hellhole on NYE and is fraught w/ such issues as dirty cops, racial tension, and people being addicted to a certain type of technology-as that is far different from real life... indeed, parts of this seem prescient. The prediction of MiniDisc becoming popular in the United States was a swing and a miss, admittedly.

This is set in the far-flung future of the last few days, 1999. As the dawn of the new millennium is about to come, technology exists which allows a device known as SQUID to record physical sensations and memories of a user and they are recorded onto MiniDiscs to be experienced by anyone with a player. Former cop Ralph Fiennes peddles these memories and gets wrapped up in controversy revolving around his ex Juliette Lewis, the manager of a slain political rapper, the LAPD, and more. There's also his limo driver pal Angela Bassett, who plays a badass w/ a hard exterior but is actually not such a harsh lady in general.

Back when James Cameron and Kathryn Bigelow still were friendly with each other, they created a film which bombed at time of release but has been reappraised with the passage of time. It was an interesting world that was created here that had colorful characters (including Tom Sizemore and his incredible wig) and addresses serious themes that unfortunately are still relevant a quarter of a century later. It also has quite the eclectic soundtrack-featuring everyone from Bob Marley and Lords of Acid to Prong, Tricky and Peter Gabriel. While it has some harsh moments as it covers such topics as racism, voyeurism and sexual assault, it was never a brutal watch hard to get through.

A shame that in the United States, this is hard to track down via streaming and it is not available on Blu-ray. I should not have had to jump through various hoops to watch a nice copy of it and it should have been easier for others to see this last night if they wanted to celebrate the end of a miserable year in this fashion.