Chappie

Chappie (2015)

32% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 228 reviews)

Runtime: 120 minutes

Directed by: Neill Blomkamp

Starring: The voice of Sharlto Copley, Dev Patel, Hugh Jackman, and (unfortunately) Die Antwoord

From: Columbia

More like CRAPPIE, am I right fellas?

Way back in 2016 on Prime Day I purchased a 3 Blu-ray disc set of Neill Blomkamp's theatrical movies... and of course he hasn't made any since then despite the rumors for YEARS that he's gonna do an Alien film. Back in '09 I was a rare person who did not like District 9; not my most controversial motion picture opinion but still one that few share. Seeing it a second time, I think my opinion became even more sour... between the nonsense story, giant plot holes, and characters I couldn't stand, the nice special effects couldn't make me enjoy the experience. Elysium was more of the same, so it took a sudden moment of inspiration all this time later to finally give this a shot. Turns out, Blomkamp just isn't for me.

I knew there was trouble early on when I heard one of the robot cops speak and it sounded just like Peter Weller as RoboCop; then it was seeing the failed would-be robot cop and it looked a lot like ED-209. The real horror came when Die Antwoord showed up... to be blunt, what repulsive people they are: that goes for their music, attitudes, beliefs, and appearance. As they were terrors on set (acting like THEY were much better actors than the actual actors present, along with being insufferable #@$^#%) and the friendship that the director had with these goofs before filming began did not last by the time shooting wrapped. Their “acting” skills was not as repulsive, but that is crossing a bar which was buried underneath the ground. As the crux of this film is seeing those two clowns trying to raise a sentient robot to commit crimes but also do humanistic things like panting... that is a problem. Also, could I roll my eyes any harder at them having bright yellow and pink submachine guns?

Again, this has a stupid story and stupid characters. I love the fact that Sigourney Weaver doesn't think there could be a way for a weapons manufacturer to license out the incredible new tech of artificial consciousness to someone or find another method of making a crapton of cash out of such an astounding feat that one of her employees created at home. Such “logic” is on display throughout. It was nice that the action was not as shaky-cam as it was in Elysium but that is no reason to see this; not even Hugh Jackman's wacky turn as (what I've heard described as) a psychotic Australian PE teacher is enough to offer this any sort of recommendation.

Point is, this seemed awfully derivative of other-and better-works of science fiction, ones worthy of seeing for the first time or revisiting. At least those typically address the questions of social commentary that Chappie brings up but never even tries to answer. That'd be a far better usage of time than seeing something from a director whose viewpoints in cinema seem awfully one-note; once he actually directs a feature film again, perhaps it is time to sing a new tune, you know. Not casting talentless goofballs in key roles and deciding that they should have their character names be their stage names... that would be another wise decision.