It goes on for too long, is directed by a guy who was clueless, featured a cast of embarrassed big faces or talented stage performers that deserved better, and is from the studio that gave us Xanadu
What a weekend I had, movie-wise. Saturday night I revisited The Dark, only because I could finally see that 1979 movie in widescreen. It's still a crappy movie with a disaster of a production. Even worse was this... I should have watched Hamilton instead.
Actually, Broadway productions and musicals aren't usually my thing; some I have enjoyed, like the various Busby Berkeley musicals I've viewed in the past... yet it's a genre I usually don't seek out. However, the legendary disaster that this movie already is was too much a draw for me to avoid it forever. It is tremendous that there is a modern version of such infamous pictures as Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Xanadu, Can't Stop the Music and The Apple. The first three I've viewed, albeit years before I've joined Letterboxd. Those at least have such merit, such as some interesting sequences and the music.
This, what overwhelms everything else is the way the title creatures are brought to life. They chose the worst and most expensive way to do it; besides the horrifying appearance, the technology is not quite there so it doesn't look right for that reason either. The trailer (which came out around this time last year, actually) only inspired astonishment and a sense of horror at how they appeared. They amazingly issued a patch for the movie to download right after its theatrical run started (as if it was a patch for your copy of The Last of Us Part 2 on the PS4) to fix effects that weren't finished... obviously nothing else was corrected since then as some of what I streamed last night looks appallingly bad.
This hardly has any plot... then again apparently there's more of it than in the stage production. An audience surrogate cat named Victoria joins the world of the “Jellicles” (that term is never explained... it'd be nice if they did if it was going to be said dozens of times throughout; don't do a drinking game based on that word) and see that once a year, there is a competition to go to Cat Heaven as in the afterworld there is never-ending happiness, to paraphrase a musical I definitely prefer to this. A villain cat named Macavity wishes to be chosen so in a plot point created just for the, he... uses magic to transport candidates to a boat on the River Thames? The original musical is from the era of disco and cocaine... it's pretty bizarre as is. Note that throughout is the feeling of horniness, as all these felines should be spayed and neutered, they are so sex-charged. Macavity's new actions just make it all the stranger.
Months ago I heard the “highlights” from those dumbfounded by what they viewed last December. The appearance of the creatures wasn't the only thing... tiny mice and cockroaches are also present, the songs seem pretentious as many use big fancy words and are just constructed oddly, is presented in a way that will make many feel tired by the end-including me-and the movie is mostly filled with introduction songs of characters you usually get to know nothing else about, and finally a little bit of conflict happens in the final act. Those that know nothing of the stage production were mostly flabbergasted and those that love the 80's musical hated the changes... some songs are presented differently, Macavity was neutered-figuratively, not literally-and a few minor characters are completely different.
A score that has some synth and scenes that have neon light due to signs in the background... that should be appealing to me. However, much of this is just ghastly and it's a shame as some of the performers (mainly the stage performers, whether it be ballet or theatrical actors) really do try their best and among the more established actors, Judi Dench, Ian McKellan and Jennifer Hudson fare best. The other big names, though... apparently they were wrong for the part and some woefully missed the mark. If this had come out at a different time of year, perhaps I could have seen it on the big screen... I know some were lucky to see it w/ a crowd where all were present to mock and dismiss what they were witnessing. That must have been a great communal experience to hoot and holler at this disaster.
It is quite the feat in current Hollywood with how corporate, micro-managed and focus group everything is, we can still get a big release from a major studio featuring a cast full of big names based on a popular property from the past... and it's such a bomb, the only people that like it are bad movie fans... the type that will compare this to Battlefield Earth and it's not an invalid comparison. For years people have wanted this to be a movie, including Spielberg-that is why Amblin was one of the producers. It's a musical which was at least popular in the past and from what I understand, it changed Broadway forever, for better and for worse. Judging by this, that is among the properties which is best suited for its medium and should not have become a motion picture.
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