The Bad News Bears Go To Japan

The Bad News Bears Go to Japan (1978)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: John Berry

Starring: Tony Curtis, Jackie Earle Haley, Tomisaburo Wakayama, George Wyner, Antonio Inoki

From: Paramount... and also Toei, although they went uncredited

So, this will be the longest review of The Bad News Bears Go to Japan that anyone will ever write, God help us all...

If you are wondering why in the blue hell I would actually watch this, good question. I noticed that the director of the movie I watched recently (the director was John Berry, the movie was the noir Tension) also somehow directed this film. I then laughed harder when I saw that the guy who played the manager of the Japanese little league team was Tomisaburo Wakayama, best known for playing Ogami Itto in the Long Wolf & Cub series. Then I looked at who else appeared in this movie... it was so bizarre I know it would give me plenty to discuss, which is what I'll be doing here.

A long time ago I did see the original Bad News Bears; I remembered it as being fine. I never saw in Breaking Training, although maybe I should because it stars William Devane. This film... yes it was not too good. It's not funny, the characters are pretty annoying, the story is poorly told and it is no surprise this killed the series. Tony Curtis plays a huckster promoter who takes the Bears to Japan to play against the country's best little league team. Of course there's a culture clash and of course Jackie Earle Haley falls in love with a young woman; technically, he stalks and harasses her until she relents. THERE is a message kids need to hear...

As I mentioned, a bizarre group of people appear in this movie. Regis Philbin appears in one scene as-get this-a morning talk show host, and one of the Bears utters a racial slur I won't repeat here. I suppose I shouldn't expect more from a movie where one moment in the opening credits is a parody of the famous Iwo Jima photograph! There is another moment in good taste. Figure skater Dick Button appears as himself; note that he competed back in the 40's and 50's. Sho Kosugi has a blink and you miss it sort of appearance as an instructor. Then, there is Judo Gene LeBell showing up; he was a stuntman, actor, Judo competitor and also dabbled in pro wrestling. He would be best known now for the big role he played in training Ronda Rousey back before she went into MMA.. oh, and there is also an alleged incident that happened where Steven Seagal (yes, really) challenged him and the end result was Seagal being choked unconscious.

But the moment that would be oddest for American audiences is Antonio Inoki having a role, playing himself. I could probably write paragraphs about that madman but I'll try to be brief. He was a professional wrestler who was one of the most popular of all time over in Japan. He then went into politics where he has courted controversy by visiting North Korea many times, even if it was in the name of diplomacy. There are articles out there which explain his life and how it often sounds absurd; one example is that he had his promotion (New Japan Pro Wrestling) put on a show in Baghdad, Iraq and in exchange, Saddam Hussein released Japanese citizens that were held hostage in the country; no, really.

It was obvious this was a co-production between Paramount and Toei, even if Paramount never made it clear in the version they released. Americans would only know Inoki at the time for the fiasco that was his fight with Muhammad Ali in 1976, which was broadcast worldwide. Inoki often had worked fights with fighters in various disciplines (like Judo or sumo or karate) and he would naturally win to prove that pro wrestling was the best. As Ali had separately mouthed off about “Oriental fighters”, it was a natural this would happen. The fight turned out to be legit and as it had weird hybrid rules, all that happened was Inoki kicked Ali's legs for 15 rounds, which actually did injure The Greatest and hampered the rest of his career. No one knows for certain why things turned out the way they did... the best anyone figures is that Ali did not want to lose a worked fight no matter how screwy the finish was, so instead the world got an absolutely dreadful shoot.

Point is, I am sure no one in America wanted to be reminded of the boondoggle, yet he has an entire subplot here. I have no idea what American kids thought of him here, or how his first scene is a long one where he breaks boards and then slabs of concrete with a karate expert (actually played by blaxploitation actor Sonny Barnes); that expert knocks himself out. Thus, there is a pro wrestling match that features (unfunny) commentary from Button, Inoki wrestles a masked Curtis. Naturally, the Bears get involved. It was incredibly surreal for me to see Antonio act in a scene with Curtis, not to mention toss around the Bears then get knocked down and the littlest kid-Mustapha-delivering a splash from the middle rope right to his balls!

Believe me, Inoki's presence and the fact that he campaigns for a rematch with Ali in the film-grandstanding has been a popular thing in Japanese pro wrestling for decades-is MUCH more interesting and entertaining than the movie itself, which is a poorly made piece of crap. Sure, I laughed at the amazing 70's clothing on display, but there are plenty of better motion pictures where you can see such duds. There is a long segment where you see the Japanese team on a Japanese variety show, but as the native language is never translated... you can imagine how thrilling it is seeing a bunch of people speak a language you do not know. Ogami Itto actually sings and that was a treat... overall, though, only the surreal factor in some scenes makes me not rate this even lower.