Police Academy 6: City Under Siege

Police Academy 6: City Under Siege (1989)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: PETER BONERZ; yes, that's his real name

Starring: Exactly who you'd expect

From: Warner Bros.

There is a reason I hadn't watched this movie in like 27 or 28 years. It's a pile of garbage where-among other things-the Bigfoot monster truck randomly appears in a scene with little explanation. Read why I think this stinks below: 

NOTE: The director of this has the legendary name of PETER BONERZ. Of course I laugh at a human being actually being born with such a moniker, which is legit the case with this dude. Not only is the name Peter Bonerz funnier than anything in the film, but Mr. Bonerz mainly made a living by directing episodes of sitcoms; either “sitcom” or “cartoon” is an accurate way of describing this tired, unfunny motion picture.

I mean, at times I wondered if the main cast thought that they were getting too old for this shit and having to play the same stereotypical role, this time not as amusing as the previous films. The previous five I'd never call “great” but at least they were fun and while the plots were threadbare at best and as an adult I remembered they got pretty juvenile once the series turned to PG, at least it was silly laughs; that's why I thought the first was fine and 2-5 were average overall. This... note that the first five I saw multiple times as a kid but 6 and 7 were one time only viewings. This is not as putrid as Mission to Moscow but in no way is it any good.

The plot: the regular characters act exactly like you'd expect them to and this time, a crimewave is being directed by a “Mr. Big” (yes, that's what he is known as) and his identity is a mystery. He has three henchmen (one of them Gerrit Graham!) and they are all buffoons and cartoon characters. I can't say I didn't laugh a few times, but all the stupidity and the dopey plot sink it. The mayor character in particular sinks the film like he was an anchor, as nothing about that role was good or enjoyable in the least.

The movie has several people you would not suspect to be in a 6th Police Academy. Aside from Graham you get to see a child Allison Mack for about 5 seconds and Dean Norris is in one scene. But the wackiest is seeing two rappers appear for a minute (and they're spitting rhymes over a sample of Barry White's I'm Gonna Love You Just a Little More Baby)... one of the rappers is Melle Mel! A long way from being the lead rapper in Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five but at least he got paid.

The identity of the villain being blatantly telegraphed is yet another reason why this should be skipped if you want to see an entry in the franchise. Unfortunately aside from Guttenberg this was the last time the main cast got to all appear together and not even bringing back a supporting character from early in the franchise (Bruce Mahler's Fackler) could do anything to save this.