Gymkata

Gymkata (1985)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Robert Clouse

Starring: Kurt Thomas, Tetchie Agbayani, Richard Norton, Edward Bell, John Barrett

From: MGM

Lord, what a movie! I give some details as to why below: 

Would you believe that someone once recommend that I see this? I've known of this for years but I finally decided that I should listen to the suggestion. After seeing this, I will have to presume this person gave such a recommendation because he suspected I'd laugh my ass off at this loony movie, and laugh I certainly did.

What a bonkers premise: a gymnast (real life gymnast Kurt Thomas) is asked to compete in a wacky elaborate game in the fictional country of Parmistan (which makes a Ninja Warrior run look staid and a cakewalk in comparison) as even though a foreigner has never won it in almost a millennia, any winner of it gets any wish he wants... and the United States government wants him to win so that they'd be able to install a satellite monitoring system in Parmistan? Yes it is true. Definitely, there has to be easier ways for America to have such a system installed in a country around Parmistan... which is supposed to be in the Middle East around Afghanistan but the movie was actually filmed in what was once Yugoslavia. Oh, and not only did his dad vanish while playing The Game, but along the way he has to try and prevent the monarchy from being overthrown. Whew.

Technically this is not a good movie. The story is ridiculous, the acting isn't always great, and like I said I laughed often. Yet I thought the movie was fun and if you enjoy silly 80's American martial arts films, this definitely should be seen. Kurt Thomas's hybrid gymnastics/martial arts was genuinely interesting and exciting to watch, even if there was a lot of flipping, and it was hilarious how several times there just happened to be items that looked like gymnastics accouterments that Kurt could use while beating people up. As it's the 80's, the people of Parmistan are all bizarre, ugly-looking fellows. This and how the country is stuck in the Middle Ages means that Trump would definitely think it was “a shithole”... that does not even take into account the city full of mentally ill people, and that is not handled delicately yet the movie turns horror for about 10 minutes as a bunch of weirdness happens. I now know why some think this is a cult film.