Riot On 42nd Street

Riot on 42nd Street (1987)

Runtime: 89 mnutes

Directed by: Tim Kincaid

Starring: John Hayden, Kate Collins, Michael Speero, Frances Raines, Jeff Fahey!

From: Several no-budget companies

Yesterday I saw a pair of movies. One was legitimately great; this was not it. Yet it is entertaining in a bad sort of way, a la Miami Connection. I try to explain why below: 

This was a movie reviewed by a mutual earlier in the week. I had never heard of it, but I certainly knew of the director (Tim Kincaid) and his other movies. No, not the hardcore gay pornography he's done for much of the career, but rather the few mainstream things he's done, such as... Robot Holocaust and Breeders. Yes, an illustrious filmography. I have to clarify right away that the rating is due to sheer entertainment value. At times I see awesomely bad things (you know, like Miami Connection) and sometimes I give them high ratings for that reason. Well, if you love things like Miami Connection, this is a must-watch.

The plot: Vietnam vet-but of course-Glen Barnes (w/ incredible full mustache) gets out of jail on a manslaughter charge and he opens up his old club on 42nd Street in New York City. Note that this is still NYC before it was cleaned up in the 90's, so seeing the neighborhood and how bad it was provided plenty of laughs for me. Anyhow, a rival club owner (Farrell) tries to stop this in over the top ways, and Barnes is out for revenge.

Here are some highlights:

* 42nd Street was smut-filled (grindhouse joints, X-rated theatres and legit places all right by each other; I laughed at seeing which movies were playing at which places. The people there may be awful but I'd love to see the double-bill of Vampire Hookers then Dolemite).

* People randomly rollerskate.

* A guy who looks exactly like mid 1970's Burt Young asks for a free handjob from a hooker. She responds in an appropriate way.

* Two punk rockers are randomly seen; one of them acts like he's strung out on heroin, or maybe it wasn't an act...

* We see a place called THE SUPER-FLY BOUTIQUE but never go in it. For shame.

* The soundtrack... always amazing. It's solid gold 1980's.

* The film has some names of note in the cast. Kate Collins, she is mainly known for once acting on the soap opera All My Children... and being the daughter of Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins. No kidding. 70's martial artist Ron Van Clief briefly appears... as himself. But everyone will laugh when I say that a supporting role is played by JEFF FAHEY, and this is after Psycho III! It's not a big or important role for him.

* This movie, it has about as much sleaze as you'd expect from a porno director, meaning “a lot”. After all, the club that Barnes reopens features illegal gambling and women cavorting around on stage naked. Farrell's clubs also have naked women strutting around on a stage-in front of men who look like total degenerates-along with peep rooms... and he forces his girls into prostitution, basically.

* The movie is pretty inept: Not only is Van Clief only seen for one scene (always shot from a wide angle talking to someone, and he's never identified by name. What a wasted cameo), a scene is literally out of order! We see someone escape then two minutes later we see how they escape.

Technically this is pretty bad-there are plenty of moments I did not reveal here-yet I was so entertained by everything, I had a good time. Between the music, the at times terrible acting, the few moments of graphic gore, and them delivering on the promise of a riot (even if some of the participants are children!), this will be a hell of an experience for certain film fans.