Runtime:
90 minutes
Directed
by: Camille Delamarre
Starring:
Paul Walker, David Belle, RZA, Gouchy Boy, Catalina Denis
From:
Several different companies; I'll save them the embarrassment and not
mention who they were
I saw this on Netflix Instant last night and needless to say, it's a pretty terrible movie, and it also has the temerity to be pointless. Stick with the original District B13, the review of which you can check out here. My review of this movie is below, via Letterboxd:
NOTE: The version of the movie I saw was the Theatrical Cut on Netflix Instant. I know that the Unrated Cut present on the Blu release has quite a few differences aside from it being 10 minutes longer but I did not want to pay a few bucks on Amazon to see that version and to be honest, don't expect me to ever see that in the future to see how different the two cuts are as I will presume it doesn't magically make this a motion picture worth seeing.
You know, it had been awhile since I had seen a really bad movie... that wasn't my mindset going in and watching this. I heard multiple people say that this was bad but when I saw the original District B13 I noted that it was entertaining but at the same time was extremely stupid. I figured it was time to see if this was as bad as its reputation suggests... well, it is. Really, stick with the original film.
The plot is almost a carbon copy of the original District B13 aside from the action being in Detroit 2018 instead of Paris 2013; the changes they do make don't improve the story of an odd couple having to work together in the worst section of Detroit to save a girl and prevent a bomb from going off. Paul Walker can't obviously fight so there's shaky-cam and quick cutting that hides this... problem is, the entire movie is shot that way and it's just bad; that's not the main issue here. What that the movie is pointless when you compare it to the original and this remake is just made in the most incoherent fashion, even compared to the mess that's District B13. Maybe the Unrated Cut improves cohesion but even if it does, this would still be pointless.
The performances... we all know that Paul Walker wasn't a master thespian but I felt bad he was in this crap pile, and posthumously at that. David Belle played the same role he did in B13, and as an actor he's great at Parkour. As for The RZA as the leader of Brick Mansions, as an actor he's a great rapper. I am sure we all know that he's a poor actor and we aren't too saddened that his wide release theatrical days on the silver screen appear to be over with.
When I reviewed B13 I noted how it was such a product of its time, comparing it to such movies as Torque and... The Fast and the Furious. I still feel that way and that's a reason why updating it to this time was stupid, alongside the obvious of it never needing a remake to begin with. Maybe I would rate this a little higher if it wasn't so darn pointless.
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