Mad Max: Fury Road

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)

99% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 201 reviews)

Runtime: 120 minutes

Directed by: George Miller

Starring: Tom Hardy, Charlize Theron, Hugh Keays-Byrne (not playing The Toecutter this time), Josh Helman, a gaggle of lovely ladies

From: Warner Brothers

Well... I don't know how else to say this but this will be a lengthy review that most (at least online; in the theatre last night the reaction I gathered from the lack of reaction during the film then overhearing conversations afterwards they didn't really enjoy it either) will violently disagree with. Just about everyone I've seen online loves this to death and I just naturally presumed I would love this too... yet I didn't, and even I can't believe it's true. I try my best to explain why below in my Letterboxd review that is spoiler free. I need a break tonight so I'll be back Sunday night.

Yep... yep.

Even as a guy who seems to reject a lot of “popular modern cinema among movie fans” (such as The Lego Movie, Snowpiercer, Kingsman: The Secret Service, The Raid 2 and most of what Christopher Nolan does) I realize this will be the most polarizing review I've ever done, the one that most people will be shocked by when they see the rating. Now, as I've said elsewhere I am not a troll like Armond White of the past few years and at least I'd like to think I am of sound mind and not experiencing any mental illnesses. I myself am shocked I am rating it this way and yet this is actually how I feel.

I know that I am a wordy person but I'll try to explain without writing a dissertation why I had such a reaction to a film almost everyone else online is in love with. I mean, I don't think in my life I have been more let down by a film than I have with this.

Believe me, I never could have thought in a million years this would be the reaction I would have. Based off of what I heard and seen I almost presumed I was going to wet my pants with excitement while watching it and the afternoon after I saw it I'd give it a full 5 stars. I've seen all three previous films before and with the first two, while odd and plotted in a different manner they are charming in how they were done and it was greatly filmed in a unique style. I waited for years to see a 4th installment and I was starting to believe that it'd never happen due to the hundreds of rumors that proved to be untrue. Finally, as this was finally filmed then released I had real high expectations for it, more so than I typically do.

Note that the following are NOT the reasons I rate this low:

* The action scenes. They are plentiful, epic in scope and filmed very well, without any shaky-cam garbage that ruins modern action cinema.

* The score, cinematography, direction, musical score, etc.

* The fact that women are a key part of the plot. I am the opposite of those awful “Men's Right Activists” asshats who hate the film even before seeing it because they heard multiple women are the focus of the film. Believe me I had no problem with that.

So here's why I rate the movie this way even if it has the type of action that I should see in big budget films instead of the overly CGI shaky-cam quick edit pigsh*t that is unfortunately common these days:

* The movie's weird... WAY weird. Way weirder than even the other films in a weird series. I just thought it was off-puttingly bizarre, which leads to:

* The movie trying way too hard to “be cool”. A band playing with a traveling caravan and there being such things as a guitar which shoots out flames... sorry but to me that's pretty stupid. Note that I am consistent in the past with having issues when it comes to “trying too hard” and making things seem forced.

* The story and characters were the biggest hurdle for me; I really didn't like either. I can't go into detail without giving away massive spoilers so I won't. I'll just say I had huge problems with both, to the point that I turned against the movie early and not even all those incredible and well-constructed action scenes could save it for me, especially when those issues were almost always ever-present. When you don't like the hero and think he looks like a buffoon too often...

* It's just impossible for me to think that this is the same Max Rockatansky you saw in those previous films; the worlds are so different I just am unable to do it.

If everyone else loves this movie, great. It was cool seeing the action on a giant screen in 3D, and the 3D was done in a pretty satisfactory manner. Unfortunately, due to the reasons I listed I just did not enjoy it overall and it does make me sad I honestly feel that way about it. At least I still have Mad Max and The Road Warrior and I can easily pretend those are the only two in the series.