Lone Wolf McQuade

Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: Steve Carver

Starring: Chuck Norris, David Carradine, Barbara Carrera, Robert Beltran

From: Orion

Here's something I have seen before but it must have been even before I started this blog; I did not think it was that long ago and I thought I did a review for this; I was mistaken. So, I was happy to watch this last night rather than the big sporting event taking place at the same time. I explain why below in my Letterboxd review. I'll return tomorrow night.

On the day I post this review, the night before was the heavily hyped (and I understand heavily disappointing; I did not watch a second of that clownshow) boxing fight between a fighter some don't like due to his conservative ways and how he has at least a few illegitimate children (Manny P.) and a man who has physically assaulted several women he was in a relationship with and never apologized for his actions (Floyd Mayweather). Between those two and how I just don't like boxing in general, I am so thankful I did not even try to illegally stream a fight I heard was full of the garbage that makes me think that sport is unwatchable. Instead, I saw again a movie involving two REAL men and when they did battle at the end there was no clinching, dancing or running away. That battle had to be a million times more satisfying than the garbage presented last night that many fools paid 100 bucks (!) to see. In many ways the whole thing was pretty gross but let me get to talking about this wacky yet satisfying action film.

Chuck Norris is the title character, a Texas Ranger (it's pretty similar to the Walker character he played on TV a decade later) who gets involved with a lovely lady (Barbara Carrera) and stumbles onto an illegal weapons smuggler (David Carradine) and despite being a loner who is a loose cannon he has to work with a state cop (Hispanic) and an FBI agent (African-American).

The movie-which lays on the Spaghetti Western flavor pretty thick-is quite ridiculous, in the best ways. I mean, an important character is a dwarf who is confined to a little motorized wheelchair. At least it's diverse. I won't reveal much when it comes to the most memorable moments but I do have to allude to the best one, which is the reviving powers that beer can have on a character, a la spinach and Popeye. That entire scene was a great moment in cinema history. For all the old-school action films this is a must-see. Besides this possibly being the best film Chuck ever starred in, there's plenty of character actors too, from R.G. Armstrong and L.Q. Jones to Leon Isaac Kennedy and William Sanderson. Amusingly to me, playing the daughter of McQuade was Chris from Friday the 13th, Part 3.

Oh, and I have no idea why this is a PG rated film, between all the violence, cursing in English and Spanish and there being more than one F bomb. Like I said, what a ridiculous movie (w/ some hilarious clothing) and it's great.