Fritz The Cat

Fritz the Cat (1972)


Runtime: 78 minutes


Directed by: Ralph Bakshi


Starring: This is an animated film


From: Fritz Productions


My apologies for this being a few hours late. S*** happens.


A messageboard conversation inspired me to watch this, a movie I saw at least once in my college days but haven't seen since then. Back at the time me and some pals were amused by the movie and how when it was first released it had an X rating (not deserved, especially not by today's standards) and you have anthropomorphic characters doing a lot of crazy things-including getting nude, having sex, and doing drugs-which makes me think now that furries must LOVE this movie, which is based on a famous R. Crumb comic strip of the time but the bizarre Crumb hated the film for whatever reasons.


I'll actually borrow the plot description from its Wikipedia page: “Fritz is an anthropomorphic cat living in 1960's New York City who explores the ideas of hedonism and sociopolitical consciousness. The film is a satire focusing on American college life in the era, race relations, the free love movement, and left and right-wing politics”.


I am amused that this is still the most successful independent animated film of all time. People must have been real interestd in seeing an “adult cartoon” way before the days of adult anime. As for the movie, boy is it uneven; it's a series of vignettes loosely tied together as Fritz experiences a series of adventures. He has to deal with crows (black people) and pigs (cops, of course), among other things. He gets horny after smoking a lot of weed, and he has to deal with everything from starting a race riot to dealing with a strung out Nazi bunny biker in the desert. Really.


The interesting thing about the movie is that the lead character is often shown to be a buffoon; he has leftist ways and he's definitely idealistic, but not realistic and his beliefs are frequently shown to be wrong and foolish. You shouldn't be a “guilty white person” who feels bad for how African-Americans were treated and say that for revenge they should start a race riot, for example.


Overall, like I said it's uneven but I did enjoy both its satire and all the vulgarity, from characters pissing, to all the nudity and sex, them getting high on drugs... good times! I did also enjoy the unique animation style and how it wasn't all the same and instead there was a variety. The musical score was also pretty groovy and funky, and nice usage of songs by Bo Diddley and Billie Holiday. So yes I am glad I saw it again after all of this time. By the way, I have seen the sequel, The Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat; it's not as good and Bakshi wasn't even involved.



I'll be back Tuesday night.

I Done Goofed

I realized after I made my last post that tonight there would be a live UFC event on free TV (there's a pay per view Saturday and another free event a week from today); I did not feel too good yesterday so I did not watch any film then. I did other things instead. I will be back on Friday night and unless something major happens I should have something watched and reviewed.

I was surprised to hear today that starting on Friday, some places are bundling together Star Trek Into Darkness and World War Z, two films with little in common besides the studio that released those films. I just might be going to that; I don't know yet.

The Glimmer Man

The Glimmer Man (1996)


Runtime: 91 minutes


Directed by: John Gray


Starring: Steven Seagal, Keenan Ivory Wayans, Bob Gunton, Brian Cox


From: Warner Brothers


Here is a random movie I watched on Encore HD late last night; in fact it's been on the Encore channels quite a bit as of late. I figured I should see it as I've never given it a viewing before; this is with knowing that a lot of people say it's no good. This is an oddity as this is not the standard Steven Seagal film where mostly on his own he kicks a lot of ass. Not only does he get paired up with a wisecracking partner (Wayans) but the elements of a Seven-style thriller are present.


To copy and paste from the IMDb: “Jack Cole is a soft spoken, mystical, new age New York cop with a checkered past. He is transferred to Los Angeles to help Los Angeles cop Jim Campbell solve a series of brutal murders in which the victims are crucified. The murders that have happened since Jack arrived in Los Angeles just don't sit right with him. When the killer, known as the "Family Man", kills Ellen DunLeavy, who happens to be Jack's ex wife and the mother of his two kids, and Ellen's husband Andrew DunLeavy, it becomes personal - especially when Jack's prints are found on Ellen's body. Jack meets with his military mentor Smith, not knowing that Smith is in cahoots with local crime boss Frank Deverell.”


The problem with this movie is that much of the comedy falls flat as it isn't that funny and the Seven-style elements... I prefer watching Seven or another movie that actually does it well. By the end it becomes a typical action movie anyhow. At least the action in this movie ended up being entertaining (even if preposterous at times), Seagal was fine at fighting (although those scenes are shot too closely; maybe a double was used already due to Seagal's age and portliness) and there are some cool explosion and villain deaths. So, this wasn't a total waste of time; the movie just isn't that good and is really a product of its mid-90's time. At least they did make fun of his wacky Eastern-inspired dress.



Also, a product known as POWDERED DEER PENIS was mentioned. It was said to be an old Chinese thing and it resulted in dumb jokes but I still chuckle at the general idea. I'll be back Wednesday night.

The Cop In Blue Jeans

The Cop in Blue Jeans (Squadra Antiscippo) (1976)


Runtime: 91 minutes


Directed by: Bruno Corbucci


Starring: Tomas Milian, Guido Mannari, Maria Rosario Omaggio, Jack Palance


From: Cinemaster


It's been too long since I've seen a poliziotteschi film, so I decided to go with this one. It happens to be on Amazon Instant for free, but it's full-screen and dubbed. I found a widescreen and subtitled version elsewhere, but that doesn't have the last few minutes... I mainly watched the subtitled version; I know that the dubbed version has the same general idea in terms of dialogue but oddly enough has cleaned up a lot of the sleaziness of the dialogue.


The general plot, as stated by me: A dirty diplomat (Palance, who isn't in the movie as much as you'd think, but that is OK) has some dirty money stolen by some thieves. The diplomat's thugs are on the warpath to get the money back and it's the cops who have to try and stop everyone. The hero of the movie is Nico Giraldo (Milian), who usually dresses like a hobo and is a loose cannon.


This is yet another great example of the genre. Truth be told I enjoy all the movies in the genre I have seen, but still... this is one of those movies where I will list things in bullet point.


* The film starts off with the theft of the luggage of Asian tourists. How did the thieves do this? Why, a chubby man moon the tourists and this provided the distraction! A minute later, a dog steals a wallet.


* The apartment of Nico has many posters up. This includes one of the band UFO and two of Serpico. He even has a white mouse pet named Serpico


* You see a fruit stand fight.


* Nico-on his dirtbike-bursts through a wooden door as if he was The Kool-Aid Man


* There's an obviously gay man who is named Nancy


* Nico gives someone a swirly; really


There's so much more; I won't spoil it all. Just know that besides there being plenty of humorous moments and funny one-liners, there's the usual hallmarks of the genre... meaning fistfights, foot chases, chases involving cars and dirtbikes, and yeah, sleaze, which involves very pretty Italian girls. There are examples of all of that here.



I'll be back Sunday night.

As Today Was...

"Treat Blair Like Crap And Disrespect Him For No Reason Day" I really don't feel like watching any sort of movie tonight as I do not feel good at all. I'll be back Friday night and barring anything catastrophic I will be watching something and write about it before midnight strikes. As I won't be doing anything on Friday, the day should be better in general and I'll find something interesting to watch; I have some films in the slot for me to write in the next week or two.

A Pair of Links

Today is not a day I feel like watching a movie, so instead I'll mention a pair of links.

Someone I follow online mentioned how Amazon Prime is offering a free month. I decided to sign up and for the next few weeks I will watch some of the free offerings they have there. A lot of it you have to pay some cash to rent each movie but sometimes you'll find something for free and I'll partake in those. The link is here.

Second, for the Charles Band fans out there, there's Full Moon Streaming. It offers the newer titles they do but also the classic ones from the Empire Pictures days, such as Trancers, Subspecies, Puppet Master, Demonic Toys, and the like. I doubt I'll be doing that, although one of these years I should watch some of those films.

I'll be back tomorrow night, and at least the current plan is for me to do a review.

I Rewatched A Pair Of Movies Recently

The last few days have been me relaxing. I did not want to do anything too exciting, aside from a trip to Walmart today. So, I decided to rewatch a pair of movies I've reviewed before. Of course I sometimes do that but I rarely talk about it here.

Recently I saw again Lucas; the review for that is here. Watching it again this year, I wonder if the title character has Asperger's or not. It doesn't change the movie whether or not you see it that way; it's just an idea. Between his preoccupation with insects, his bluntness even to his crush and his lack of social skills... it's possible.

Last night I rewatched Action Jackson. You can read that review here. My opinion on it hasn't changed. I decided to watch it on Encore HD as the print there looks fine while the DVD picture quality is pretty much the same as the VHS version; the DVD is fullscreen, even.

I'll be back on Wednesday. I hope to review a movie by then.

Runaway

Runaway (1984)


Runtime: 100 minutes


Directed by: Michael Crichton


Starring: Tom Selleck, Cynthia Rhodes, Gene Simmons, Kirstie Alley


From: Tri-Star


I picked this movie for a specific reason. I saw it more than once as a kid but the last viewing was so long ago, watching this today was the first time I ever saw it in widescreen. The reason why I watched it now was that the villain is Gene Simmons and well, via someone I know on Twitter, I discovered at pretty much the last minute that Ticketmaster was offering up FREE tickets to a concert last night at Orlando's Amway Center; that band was in town as today in the same building is the championship for the Arena Football League. That band... KISS.


Yes, even with Ticketmaster's notorious fees, it was only $4.80 to see a legendary band, albeit one that has only two original members in it and that's been the case for like the last 10 years now. Next year the Arena Football League will have a team named after KISS, as that band is way above and beyond any other name when it comes to licensing its name out to just about anything you can think of in order to make a buck. Anyhow, the concert was definitely a lot of fun and worth a lot more than what I paid to get in. So, I figured I should see a movie where the frontman for the band is the villain, and that's what I did.


The plot, via the IMDb: “In the near future, a police officer specializes in malfunctioning robots. When a robot turns out to have been programmed to kill, he begins to uncover a homicidal plot to create killer robots... and his son becomes a target.”


Overall, I say that this movie is fine; not great but not awful either. It's just a standard thing that you can watch on a rainy afternoon and not much more. It's inoffensive entertainment. It could have been more exciting or inventive with such a wacky idea and such things as giant magic bullets that can track a person from their heat signature. It is fun to be amused by what the 1980's thought the future was going to be like, with non-humanoid robots (which are all the robots you see here; no androids or anything of that sort) doing many tasks with and without humans... even being like a maid at someone's house. They hasn't happened quite yet. There's also a giant brick cellphone like how they used to be.


At least there are entertaining moments and you get to see a hero who suffers from vertigo, and that does come into play... not that you needed to be told of such a thing. There's also legendary composer Jerry Goldsmith doing his first-ever electronic score, which is as wacky as you'd expect from an 80's movie. There are also robotic spiders, which are unforgettable (literally; I did not forget them from my youth)



I'll be back Monday night.

So Yeah...

Thursday was another one of those days where I had to leave early and I did not even have the time to post the message that I was not feeling good on Wednesday at all so I was not in the mood to watch any motion picture.

Thursday I felt better so I went to Tampa and St. Petersburg. At the former I stopped and ate at Hulk Hogan's bar/restaurant. Yes, you read that right. It was fine. I then went to Clearwater Beach to Hulk Hogan's Beach Shop. It's a small place but you can buy various shirts there, which is what I did. Both places had various posters for his movies... even the crappy/obscure ones which I can't find online, such as The Secret Agent Club and Mr. Nanny, or one that unfortunately I can find online, which is Santa With Muscles; would you believe that the restaurant has an elaborate drawing of the Santa With Muscles cast? It's true!

I will be back Saturday night and as I have nothing planned for Friday at all, it'd have to take something catastrophic for me not to have watched a movie by then and then do a write-up of it.

I Discuss The Day The Clown Cried

Here's something different from me; no movie review, although if it ever did come out I sure as hell would watch it. I will say a few words about the infamous movie The Day The Clown Cried, made in '72 and never released.


If you don't know this movie, it was made (or mostly made, depending on what you hear) to be released in 1972. It starred and was directed by Jerry Lewis and was about a German clown who gets thrown into a concentration camp during World War II for insulting Hitler and his fellow prisoners do not find him funny (insert your own comments about Lewis if you wish). However, the Jewish kids find him amusing so he entertains them. The guards try to thwart that. Eventually, Jerry (named Helmut Doork!) accidentally gets sent to Auschwitz and he gets asked to lead the kids into the ovens, the end; YIKES.


You can read more about the movie's history in a scan of a magazine story here, but a big reason why only a few people have ever seen the movie is that the producer who said he had the rights to the script and funded the movie... not only did he run out of money and Jerry had to pay for production out of his pocket, but the producer did not actually have the rights to the script. That's a mess which prevented the movie from being completed and with those rights issues, what a complicated thing.


Another reason has to be that apparently the movie is really awful; he rarely talks about it but Lewis has admitted as such in recent times; the rare few who have watched it have said the same thing, that it looks really cheap and wrong, and everything about it is misguided, so as noble as it may be to make a movie on such a serious topic, it is a complete disaster.


Until recently there was no footage of the movie to be seen in pubic aside from some brief behind the scene clips. Suddenly, some guy on YouTube somehow found on a Danish website (that website is here) 7 minutes from a behind the scenes look of the movie made by a Dutch TV station, and it actually has a brief amount of footage from the movie, albeit nothing that sounds really wrong with the story; it's just Jerry as a clown doing some visual humor that actually is humorous.The rest is behind the scenes stuff. This is a huge deal to big film buffs as this is the first actual footage to be seen by the public. The amazing thing is that on the Dutch site, it is dated as being posted in April of 2012 and yet no one realized or found this until a few days ago.


Say what you will about Lewis or his comedy (I've seen little of it but from what I know... I probably wouldn't be a fan) but the annual telethon he does for charity is a noble thing so I won't be too hard on him. Who knows for certain if the public will ever get to see the movie, but it was nice to be tantalized and finally see something from it when it seemed unlikely that we would see any footage from the movie.



I'll be back Thursday afternoon with a proper review... unless something else major like this pops up between now and then.

The Conjuring

The Conjuring (2013)


86% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 157 reviews)


Runtime: 112 minutes


Directed by: James Wan


Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor, Ron Livingston


From: Warner Brothers/New Line Cinema


Finally, last night I went and saw this movie, heavily praised by both the hardcore horror fans and the more causal fans of scares on the big screen. I wish I could have seen it with a better crowd; sure, most of the larger than expected audience was fine, but you had such stupidity as some yappers, people using their “dumbphones” (if you use it during a theatrical movie, it should be a dumbphone, as it's named after you!) and even my first case of “Narrating Grandparents”, to borrow a phrase from a podcast I listen to. Early on you see the main family move into the house where all the S goes down. They have a dog and it won't go into the house as it senses something wrong. This is made as clear as crystal by the movie and yet you have one old person loudly tell their old spouse, “The dog won't go in the house!” Well, no shit! Thanks for telling multiple people of this obvious fact, you jackass! No wonder I am not a people person. But despite that sort of atmosphere I really did enjoy the movie; it'll guaranteed be on my Top 10 list of best movies of 2013, I'll spoil that for you.


The plot, taken from the IMDb: “In 1971, Carolyn and Roger Parren move their family into a dilapidated Rhode Island farm house and soon strange things start happening around it with escalating nightmarish terror. In desperation, Carolyn contacts the noted paranormal investigators, Ed and Lorraine Warren, to examine the house. What the Warrens discover is a whole area steeped in a satanic haunting that is now targeting the Parren family wherever they go. To stop this evil, the Warrens will have to call upon all their skills and spiritual strength to defeat this spectral menace at its source that threatens to destroy everyone involved.”


Yeah, this is based on a true story... or rather, there really is a husband and wife team of paranormal investigators known as Ed and Lorraine Warren, and they did investigate something at the Parren house in Rhode Island. I have heard nothing about the case aside from the movie, so that has no factor in my opinion. I heard mixed things about the Warrens; one person described them as “charlatans”. I just viewed it as a fictional tale in order to make things easier overall.


I say that this is a great horror film and quality when viewed vs. something in any genre. Besides it being set in the 70's, it is a 70's style horror movie and I am glad it did well at the box office as an original R-rated film rather than a remake or a sequel... really, the movie is PG-13 but for some reason it got an R. I don't remember any foul language and there's hardly any gore. It's just a really scary and creepy film. They did a great job with the scares and building up to them. It's not one of those gore-fests or something that blindy throws out jump scares all the time and yet never builds up any dread or suspense and they're just useless and cheap. This movie is great at building dread and suspense as you follow both the Warren's and their life and the Parren parents and five daughters.


All the performances are at least fine and usually are better than that, from the adults and the kids. None of the children were tiresome or annoying, which can be tough to do in the movie-world. Like I said the scares are done really well and there's tension and dread throughout. The cinematography and the various camera angles used... all quality and pretty good. So is the music, which works well with what you see on screen. This comes together to form a movie that is as good as you've probably heard. I am glad I got to see it on the big screen, distractions aside.



I'll be back Tuesday night.

Little Caesar

Little Caesar (1931)


Runtime: 79 minutes


Directed by: Mervyn LeRoy


Starring: Edward G. Robinson, Douglas Fairbanks Jr., Glenda Farrell, Sidney Blackmer


From: Warner Brothers


This is officially the oldest film I've ever reviewed for this site, although not the oldest one I've seen (I've seen some silent movies in the past). I had seen this before via a TCM airing but that was before I started this site and I don't remember too much about it. So why not watch it tonight and add more variety to this blog and my Letterboxd page?


The plot of this movie that really started the gangster genre of the 1930's in Hollywood (and not only started Robinson's career but his role became the stereotypical gangster motif) and it's an edited version of what's on IMDb: “The ambitious criminal Caesar Enrico “Rico” Bandello moves from the country to the big city in the east and joins Sam Vettori's gang with his friend Joe Massara. Sooner he becomes the leader of the gangsters and known as Little Caesar.”


While it is cliché by now, Robinson as the title character is still quite entertaining and good. While I haven't seen enough of this specific genre, I enjoy watching those old gangster movies from the '30's where you have tough guys that can be sassy pretty often, clubs that are front for illegal activities (especially alcohol, if it's a movie made when the all-time terrible idea known as Prohibition was still a thing), the cars of the era, and people being mowed down (especially from a Tommy Gun)... I dig it.


The story here wasn't too different from Scarface, the original or the remake. There's a tough guy who moves to the big city to join a gang. Like the remake he has a pal who has a love interest and he doesn't seem as ambitious as his pal. He has to deal with a boss who he argues with and he ends up throwing out the boss and he runs the whole thing. He has conflict with the pal. He enjoys the big time but his brashness and boldness that made him rise to the top was also his downfall.


Interestingly, some people say that Rico is a closeted homosexual; even the guy who wrote the book on which the movie was based on thought the same. You could look at it that way and it makes you look at the movie differently, but it doesn't really affect things and you can view it without that idea and it's still a quality movie. It's just one of those theories for if you want to view the movie on multiple occasions, you know.



Overall, it's simply a good time and a look at how movies were different back then; while you don't have such blatant stereotypes and accents anymore, it is nice to see a bunch of tough guys utter clean dialogue with a lot of sass and you still get the intent of how they're feeling without any cursing or being too over the top; you also have women that look "healthier" than all those emaciated ladies that dominate the entertainment scene today due to lame and awful social pressures. I won't be back until Sunday night.

Oh Yeah...

Yesterday I was going to go to see The Conjuring due to all the rave reviews it got. However, it did not work out as I wanted to do other things so I did those instead and likely this weekend I'll watch that on the big screen.

I have zero time to watch anything this afternoon as unexpectedly, someone I know got a brand new laptop, so right now I am doing all the things you have to do with a new computer, which is Windows Updates, installing things, and all that. Thus, I'll be back Thursday night with a new review.

The Dragon Lives Again

The Dragon Lives Again (Li San Jiao Wei Zhen Di Yu Men) (1976)


Runtime: 91 minutes (at least that's the longest version of it I can find)


Directed by: Kei Law


Starring: Siu-Lung Leung, Ie Lung Shen, Ching Tang, Alexander Grand, Jenny


From: Goldig Film Company


Here is one of those movies I've known about for years, and finally tonight was the night for me to sit down and watch it. It's from Hong Kong and may be one of the weirdest films ever made. Before I do anything else, I should explain that for a few years after Bruce Lee's death, there was a genre known as Bruceploitation, in which people were hired just because they resembled Bruce Lee and various plots were derived; whether it be rehashes of Lee's movies, plots where the actor was supposed to be Bruce Lee, fantastical tellings of Bruce's life, or what have you... this was actually a thing. This movie is one of those; the actor is supposed to be Lee, although they really don't look like each other.


I might as well cut to the chase and copy and paste (for the most part; I modified parts of it) the plot synopsis from the IMDb to show you why exactly I make that claim:


“It's one of the "Bruceploitation" films that were made to cash in on Bruce Lee after his death. The story follows Bruce Lee after he dies and ends up in what is called Hell but I believe is just “the underworld”, which looks a lot like Earth. Once there, he does the logical thing and opens a gym. After fending off the advances of the king's naked wives, he discovers that the most evil people there are attempting a takeover, so Bruce sets out to stop it. As if it wasn't weird enough, the evil people are: Zatoichi (the blind swordsman hero of Japanese film), James Bond, The Godfather, The Exorcist (Father Karras, I guess), Emmanuelle (the "heroine" of many European softcore porn films), Dracula-who appears in daylight-and, of course, Clint Eastwood (played by a Chinese guy). Aiding Bruce is The One-Armed Swordsman (hero of kung-fu films), Kain from the U.S. tv series, Kung-Fu (actually played by a Chinese guy this time), and Popeye the Sailor Man! Yes, Popeye the Sailor Man. He eats spinach and helps Bruce fight some mummies (and before that, you see guys in skeleton outfits).”


YES. All of this is true, and there's more! When you first see Bruce, he is laying down and it certainly looks like he has a massive erection. Turns out, it's just his nunchucks. There is discussion concerning Lee's wang throughout the film. At least in this English dubbed version, they rip off the musical cues for 007 and The Man With No Name and they are ID'ed as “James Bond” and “Clint Eastwood” and “Popeye”. There's a talking skeleton for no reason. You briefly hear the opening to Kung Fu Fighting and parts of the 70's Jermaine Jackson song Erucu, of course without asking the record companies for the licenses to use those tunes. Bruce Lee (it's explained why Bruce in the “underworld” doesn't look like Bruce in real life) is against gambling. You see random boobs. Even in China... er I mean “the underworld” rock paper scissors is played. Emmanuelle tries to seduce Lee, to no avail.


The movie was filmed widescreen but every copy I've seen, is fullscreen and the image is simply cropped rather than pan and scanned. This can be quite annoying. Thankfully it doesn't harm the action scenes too badly; those action scenes are fine, all things considered.


I could say and spoil more things, but this indeed ranks really high amongst the most bizarre movies I've ever seen. How these people came up with it and got away with using those characters, themes, and songs... I have no idea. There's more than one copy online of this (watch the one that's 95 minutes long; it's actually 91 minutes but after the movie is over there's a few minutes of nothing) and if you want to see something that's best watched to be entertained for the WTF fashion rather than it being good, then this is great. I mean, not surprisingly this doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Just watch it to be amazed and befuddled at the same time.

Here's a trailer that gives you a small taste of the insanity:

I'll be back Wednesday afternoon.

Clue

Clue (1985)


Runtime: 96 minutes


Directed by: Jonathan Lynn


Starring: The Late Eileen Brennan, Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Michael McKean, Martin Mull, Lesley Ann Warren


From: Paramount


Here is a movie I've seen a few times when I was younger but it's been too many years since I've watched it in full, even though I've had the DVD for who knows how many months now. I was finally given the motivation when the late Eileen Brennan passed away this past Sunday. I figured that was enough of a kick in the ass for me to view something I enjoyed as a kid and hoped I would also enjoy as an adult in my 30's.


You should know the basic plot of the movie, as I presume that everyone has played it at least once in their lives. Six colorful people are brought to the mansion owned by Mr. Boddy (strangely, Lee Ving, lead singer for the legendary punk rock group Fear; he appeared in a decent amount of movies in the 80's, but that was inspired casting to have him in such a role) as he is blackmailing all of them; he ends up dead and as more people who live in the mansion die they try to figure out who is the killer... and of course theatrically they had one of three endings play at random and on VHS tape you get to see all three endings. I went with the latter; the 2000 DVD release gives you both options, which is pretty great.



I was hoping I would feel the same about this as I did way back when. I figured I would finally “get” some moments that I did not as a kid, and I would even more appreciate the script where they had all those talented actors doing their thing while making it plausible that there are three different explanations as to what happened and all of them somewhat make sense.

Overall, it's still a movie I enjoy. I did not remember it being so loud (in that you often have characters yelling and shouting; I think that was a mid-80's thing, in hindsight) and there being so much physical humor, but it's still a fun time as it's just entertaining to watch. You have a lot of wordplay (the script was written by the director and none other than John Landis), which is usually a positive to me, and it is nice to see the more than capable cast of famous faces do their thing, and as the center of it all Curry is great as usual.

This is also set in the 50's, so you get talk of such things as Communism/Socialism, J. Edgar Hoover and it being a bad thing that you are a homosexual. There are also some songs of the time period that you hear.

This movie did not do so well at the box office; since then it's become a cult classic, and understandably so. They somehow were able to turn a popular board game into a fun movie and include the elements of the game without it being ridiculous... then again it makes more sense to turn this into a film than say, Battleship! I am glad I finally saw this after so many years.

I'll be back Monday night.

Never Too Young To Die

Never Too Young to Die (1986)


Runtime: 96 minutes


Directed by: Gil Bettman


Starring: John Stamos, Vanity, Gene Simmons, George Lazenby


From: Paul Entertainment


I realize this isn't what I promised I was doing yesterday, but last night I discovered this movie was on YouTube and I figured I should watch it before it gets taken down at a moment's notice. I have actually seen this twice before. I first found out about it via a review done by a website I used to frequent long ago but not anymore. I saw it in like 2003 then about 2006. Then, in late 2011 a podcast I listen to known as Bad Movie Fiends reviewed the movie themselves and I wanted to see it again ever since. Finally, last night I stumbled upon the YouTube link, and I was set.


To steal the plot description from the IMDb: “Secret agent Drew Stargrove is brutally murdered by the ruthless Von Ragnar. In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Von Ragnar. Danja Deerling teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest.” Yes, all of these names are real. Velvet Von Ragnar is Gene Simmons, and he is in the movie a he/she... Von Ragnar is a hermaphrodite! That is different, for sure.


This movie is a goofy 80's thing where Drew Stargrove is a James Bond-lite (appropriate given that Lazenby played the role) and his son Lance is a teenaged gymnast and with the help of one of Drew's ladies (Vanity) he becomes a secret agent of his own; he's an ass at first but he changes when he becomes a hero. Like I said it's goofy and yet there's strong violence at times, Vanity's boobs (but of course) and other things which clearly make it an R. It's not a movie you should take seriously, as technically it's not a good film. More than a few things don't make a lot of sense. However, there's a lot to laugh at and enjoy, so if you enjoy campy action films of the 1980's, then this will be great for you. Gene Simmons is SO over the top it's amazing.


The highlights include Von Ragnar being a bad guy that wants to ruin the water supply and yet he/she sings in a nightclub, Robert Englund appearing in a role, Velvet's lowly cohorts dressing like extras from The Road Warrior for no real good reason, typical hilarious 80's clothing, and bad 007-like gadgets.


Here are two clips from the movie. The first is of Velvet singing, and “bizarre sight” is a good way to describe it.

The second is of the hilarious opening credits song, entitled Stargrove. It's not very good but boy is it catchy. Believe it or not, the composer-Lennie Niehaus-ended up scoring some of Clint Eastwood's films since the 80's; no kidding.

I'll be back Saturday afternoon.