You Only Live Twice

You Only Live Twice (1967)

Runtime: 117 minutes

Directed by: Lewis Gilbert

Starring: Sean Connery, Akiko Wakabayashi, Mie Hama, Tetsuro Tanba, Donald Pleasence

From: Eon/United Artists

Here’s a James Bond movie where people are divided on how to rate it. Sure, you could do that with many of the movies in the franchise, but this is one of those where you could really do so. Some people really love this and rank this highly (my mom has mentioned to me before this is amongst her very favorite in the series), but others have ranked it much lower. Really, it seems like each person can rank the movies in a different way and no two lists will be the exact same. I’m exaggerating, but no list you could really argue is “wrong” in any way. How do I rank this one?

This Bond takes place mainly in Japan. After Bond fakes his death (explaining the title) he gets involved in a SPECTRE plot where they steal spacecraft from both the U.S. and the U.S.S.R.; each think the other is behind it and nuclear war may start. SPECTRE is doing it for the sake of an unnamed country-most likely those damn Chinese commies-and Bond has to try and figure this one on his own and then stop it. He does it in the colorful country of Japan (even back in the late 60’s, Tokyo was a city filled with many flashing lights). Blofeld himself is leading things first-hand and for the first time you get to see him in full form. Pleasence makes for a memorable Blofeld and his outfit and facial scar obviously were the inspiration for the Dr. Evil character.

This one does stand out for being quirky. It has an interesting (or rather, odd) pace and plot at times. That is why on a messageboard once, a poster mentioned his pet theory that when Bond fakes his death at the beginning, it was an actual death instead and what you see past the opening credits is an after-life dream that Bond has. Given what I just said, it isn’t the worst theory in the world. I mean, the script is from Roald Dahl, of all people. You’d expect oddness from the guy who wrote the novels Charlie & The Chocolate Factory and The Witches.

Speaking of odd, it wasn’t until just recently that I discovered that Connery had one of his fights in the movie (a wild affair in an office involving furniture being thrown around) with the pro wrestler known as Peter Maivia (his only film role); his grandson has had a much more prolific career. Yes, I’m referring to The Rock himself, Dwayne Johnson.

The movie is big in scope, with giant sets, plenty of action, a lot of intrigue, and it’s usually pretty entertaining, even in its quirkiness. As I find Japan to be an interesting country (well, not its more strange things, such as purchasing used women’s panties in vending machines, hentai, or anything of that nature!) I enjoyed looking at how it was back then, and it makes for a nice setting.

BUT… one part tanks things and that’s why I would have to rank it below Dr. No, From Russia With Love, and Goldfinger. There’s a plot point which takes up way too much time... at least it felt like it, even if judging by total time it didn't. I know it’s sort of a spoiler but it has to be said. Somehow, they came up with the idea of Bond taking up a disguise by *having him play a Japanese man*. That is correct. He has surgery and all that, and even gets married to a native woman. Problem is, he does look different from usual, but big Scottish Sean Connery does NOT look like an Asian man at all! It totally torpedoes all momentum and it’s like a black hole; not even a huge finale-involving NINJAS!-can help completely save it. What a shame that is too. It otherwise moves at a nice pace and I would rate it highly if it wasn't for that ridiculous plot point and how momentum hit a brick wall.

I'll be back Friday night with something that's not a Bond movie at all, but it's still European cool.