Machete

Machete (2010)

71% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 110 reviews)

Runtime: 105 minutes

Directed by: Robert Rodriguez/Ethan Maniquis

Starring: Danny Trejo, Steven Seagal, Jessica Alba, Jeff Fahey, Michelle Rodriguez, Robert De Niro

From: 20th Century Fox/Troublemaker Studios

Yep, here’s my review on the movie based upon one of the “fake” trailers for Grindhouse, the movie that not nearly enough people saw on the big screen back in ’07, but I guess not enough people got the concept or what it was about. I did, though, and I was happy to see it on the big screen AND at a drive-in in a ghetto part of Tampa. Good times. As this movie is doing better at the box office, maybe people saw the two movies separately on DVD and thought that they needed to see this on the big screen… but that’s just a wild guess. I am happy that finally, sometime soon on Blu-Ray will be the full Grindhouse experience, with the two movies and the fake trailers. That is buys.

So is this movie, I say. I know that some people out there have criticized this and The Expendables for various reasons, and that’s all well and good. I’m just disappointed that they felt that way and they didn’t get into the spirit of the film and just sat back and had a good time, and instead were critical. This is a good and trashy old time at the cinema. If you’ve seen the fake trailer to this (all of the clips you get to see in the movie) then you know the basic plot. Machete (Trejo) is a Federale from Mexico and he gets hired by a mysterious man (Fahey) to take out a Senator. Suddenly, someone shoots him and it was a setup by Fahey. Machete gets revenge and in a very memorable way. Out of that 3 minute trailer, they managed to craft a feature film that explains everything, and it works in a great sleazy fashion.

Not to spoil too much, but it revolves around the Senator (De Niro, delivering a wacky performance), illegal immigration, a drug lord south of the border, played by Seagal, and so much more. It’s mis-casting, but it was done on purpose. There’s also an an immigration agent-Alba, believe it or not; a great actress she’s not. A really hot woman who looked great in this movie? Yes! She played that role pretty well-and April (Lindsay Lohan! She’s barely in the movie, and she was fine for what it was. She even looked almost appealing and not total skank nasty), the daughter of Fahey’s character. There’s also a large cast of colorful characters spread throughout. Sure, at times it seems to be too many characters, but despite any foibles I may have about how things turned out, I had such a good time with this, I didn’t care.

It’s a movie where there is VERY graphic violence and you see guys getting shot in the head (and the mess that creates when a bullet enters the skull), not to mention a gross-out gag involving a part of the human body; no, not *that* part, but another one. It’s something I’ll never forget. The cast full of famous faces does well-enough, at least most of them do. What I enjoyed the most was that it still had a light and humorous tone to it despite all the carnage going on and it did not take itself too seriously. In this sort of movie, that was appropriate. I mean, just look at the cast of the film; it was rather unique and it managed to work. I sure as hell enjoyed this much more than Mr. Rodriguez’s Predators. Like I said, I’m disappointed that more people didn’t enjoy it and didn’t see the movie like I did. As someone described the movie as “a big fat greasy super-delicious burrito of a movie”, and I agree!

I’ll be back Wednesday night with a new review.