An Announcement, And More

No, it's not an important announcement. It is just something related to Letterboxd, the site I am a member of and you can view my profile here. As of late, various members of that site did a “30 movies in 30 days” deal where they watched by their own choosing (not everyone watched the same movies) 30 different foreign films, rated them, then talked about them. That seemed like a good idea so in June I'll mainly (if not entirely) watch foreign movies, but not 30 of them. Who knows how many I'll watch but it'll be a variety of countries, I do know that.

Earlier in the week I rewatched a movie that I hadn't seen since I watched it on the big screen in March of '11. It was Drive Angry, which I reviewed here. When I saw it, I really enjoyed it despite how I noted at the time that various things did not make a whole lot of sense. This time while watching it, I still enjoyed it but not as much. The movie trying SO hard to be a cult classic was grating at times and when I saw it in 3D I must not have noted the quality of the special effects; in 2D, wow do many of the special effects (the CGI) look atrocious. I mean, I was shocked by how bad it was. But like I said I still like the movie overall, for the reasons I mentioned in the original review. I still enjoyed Heard's character and how the relationship turned out between The Accountant and Milton.

I'll be back Friday night.

Friday the 13th/Friday the 13th Part 2

Friday the 13th (1980)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham

Starring: Adrienne King, Jeannine Taylor, Harry Crosby, Kevin Bacon, Betsy Palmer

From: Paramount

Friday the 13th, Part 2 (1981)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: Steve Miner

Starring: Amy Steel, John Furey, Kirsten Baker, Stuart Charno, Lauren-Marie Taylor

From: Paramount

I was thinking about watching something of high regard today, due to it being Memorial Day and all. But then I changed my mind and decided to watch a pair of cheesy but fun movies that I've watched both when I was a youngster and as an adult. The films are low-budget and goofy, but most of these Friday the 13^th movies are great entertainment.

You know the plot of the first one... in the late 50's a young mongoloid named Jason Voorhees drowns in a lake at Camp Crystal Lake (or so was thought) as the people who were supposed to watch him were having sex instead, and the next year a pair of counselors are killed. After some more oddities happen at the camp, it is closed down until 1980, when it is reopened. Several people are killed and it turns out... it is Jason's mom Pamela Voorhees, who has gone crazy ever since the accident happened.

I agree that the movie is slow at times, but otherwise it is still entertaining to watch, and to think that this little effort launched a big franchise and made a big hulking dude who ended up wearing a hockey mask into a popular pop culture figure. It is amusing to see some of the characters act rather horny (and I don't think any of the ladies at camp were wearing bras) and do things like smoke some pot, and lol to Kevin Bacon being in this. There are some wacky and cool minor characters, like DORF the strait-laced cop who appears in one scene, Sally the old waitress, and Enos the truck driver. Bing Crosby's son Harry appears in this, and well, the popular story is that in real life old Bing was a mean old drunk who treated his kids poorly. That's unfortunate.

The final battle between Alice (King) and Ms. Voorhees (Palmer) was what I'd call “realistically awkward” but it ended greatly and the gore effects by Tom Savini were great; I saw the unrated version for the first time and it only has some more footage for a few of the deaths, but it is still nice to see those deaths in their original format. If only they could do the same for the rest of the series (the MPAA really raked the sequels over the coals) but I understand that if the cut footage survives, it's in horrid quality and can't be fixed to include it in any unrated cuts of the sequels. A shame.

I then watched the sequel, where 5 years later (and that time difference messes up the timeline for the series; I've seen several different timelines for when the movies actually take place) a camp near Camp Crystal Lake opens, and turns out that Jason never died and he's lived in the woods since then. He saw his mom get killed so that caused him to put on a sack over his head and start killing people at that camp.

I say that this film isn't as strong as the first one, but it's still entertaining. You have some quality kills and a bunch of horny teenagers, their horniess being quite amusing. My favorite bits were Mark (the dude in the wheelchair) being asked by Vickie (a cute brunette) if it's just his legs that are paralyzed (see what I mean about them being hormonal?) and when she goes to her room to get ready for sex, she sprays cologne on her body... including her vagina! There were some pretty ladies in the cast, I say.

I do have to say that the long opening prologue brings up a number of questions as to how Alice was discovered, but it's hilarious that after the kill, you see the teakettle taken off the stove, as if Jason decided to have some tea! 

And in real life, I have a sad tale to tell about Marta Kober, who played Sandra. She seemed to vanish for years and a few years ago she reappeared and went to a few horror conventions and besides the fact that the past 25 or so years hadn't been kind to her, unless she put on an elaborate act just for her own amusement, she is dealing with mental health issues; in interviews she made really bizarre and nonsensical comments and it was just sad as she obviously wasn't right in the head. No matter the specific mental problem, it is unfortunate and while I haven't heard anything from her since those horror conventions, I hope she has gotten help for those issues.

I'll be back Wednesday night.

Fast & Furious 6

Fast & Furious 6 (2013)

72% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 138 reviews)

Runtime: 130 minutes

Directed by: Justin Lin

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, The Rock, Luke Evans

From: Universal

Yesterday, I finally got to see the movie, and it was a special occasion as I made the long drive up to Jacksonville, as that's where the hosts of the BMFCast podcast live and they were having a big get-together with everyone who wanted to watch this film with them, as they all loved Fast Five and they wanted more of the same. Including me there was a little more than a dozen people. It was at the city's Cinemark theatre; it wasn't their biggest screen but still, it was a pretty damn big screen. I wish that they had more people working the concession stand but I am getting off-topic. Anyhow, onto the non-spoiler thoughts.

The plot: After the events of the past film everyone went their own separate ways and living the good life, but it just wasn't the same as they were all on the run and all. Hobbs (The Rock) finds Dom Toretto (Diesel) and says that there's Owen Shaw (Evans), a bad bad dude who has a heist gang of his own and he's looking to acquire a vicious bit of technology and in short, it could really cripple an entire country if it falls into the wrong hands. Hobbs wants the gang to come back together and stop the bad guys, and Toretto is enticed as it's discovered that his old girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is now working for Shaw's crew. So off they go to London and elsewhere.

I thought that the last one had a whole lot of preposterous and hilariously implausible (if not impossible) actions and events. This film has that, only to a higher degree. No exaggeration. Me and the people around me couldn't help but laugh at the most ridiculous stuff, as you can't believe it. Yet, it's still awesome, as it's thrilling to watch and it's pretty awesome. What happens in the climax was full of incredible moments, but don't think too much about it too much in terms of logic.

The story doesn't always make sense and there are plotholes, but when the action is this incredible (there are some great setpieces), who cares? I don't always think that way, but when you see the movie with a rowdy (in a good way) crowd, it's a tremendous experience as there are many things that would cause various reactions, from happiness to sadness, joy to anger, and all the rest. Who am I to carp about the story or the acting? What an astounding climax, too. Oh, and more than one element from Fast & Furious (the 4^th one) are mentioned in this one, but it's mostly explained for those that don't remember the 4^th one.

Basically, if you loved Fast Five you'll love this; while it's definitely different from the 5^th installment, it still has a lot of excitement and gleefully over the top action and situations, so I do give it a recommendation for series fans. Stay after the credits begin, as pretty quickly you get to see a short bit that sets up the 7^th movie (coming out summer '14) and for sure it'll get the series fans to lose their mind and get their engines revved for the next installment.

I'll be back tomorrow night.

My Bloody Valentine (The Original)

My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Runtime: 93 minutes (the unrated version)

Directed by: George Mihalka

Starring: Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil “No Relation To Ben” Affleck, Keith Knight

From: Paramount

I figured it was time to go through the big pile of DVD's I have and watch something from there tonight. I went with this film, as I've seen the remake a few times and even talked about it last year. Now, here's my chance to talk about the original, a slice of Canuxploitation from Canada that has a fervent fan base and in a rare move for me, I have to praise Lionsgate for pulling the strings and convincing Paramount to have them release an unrated version rather than the R-rated version that was rated during one of the times that the MPAA cracked down on the horror genre. Sure, it's obvious when watching the unrrated version what the cut material was as the print for those scenes are of obviously poorer quality, but it's better than nothing and it's nice that a more true version could finally be seen by that fervent fanbase.

The plot isn't too dissimilar to the remake: In 1960, there's a Valentine's Day dance (an annual tradition) in the fictious town of Valentine Bluff, Nova Scotia. On that day, there was an accident in the mine that killed four people (due to the error of two men who left too early to go to the dance) and once Harry Warden was dug out of there... well, he was in bad mental shape, as you see him eat the dead people to survive. The next year he got revenge by killing the two guys who made that error; he also cut out their heart and left the message that there should never be another Valentine's Day dance, or else he'll keep on killing. The dance was cancelled and Harry was committed. Suddenly, in 1980 you see a bunch of young miners and their ladies (some of them real asstagonists; there's also a love triangle involving a dude returning to town; here, he's the son of the mayor) as the dance is brought back... only for the killings to start again and Harry to be found missing from the insane asylum. Is he the one doing the killings?

Like I said, there are some asstagonists you get to spend time with. The last film this director did before MBV was Pinball Summer, a movie I saw and reviewed last year after a podcast did a scathing review for it, mainly because they hated the A-hole protagonists and called them asstagonists, a term I have gleefully used ever since. And yes, several people from Pinball Summer have small roles in this movie. Sure, those guys in this film are annoying but eventually I was able to put up with their goofball immature ways and I was able to laugh at how dopey and silly they acted, and their love for Schlitz and Moosehead beer; you see plenty of advertising for the latter.

Overall, this is a pretty fun slasher. It's always an interesting story and there's a real mystery as to who is doing the killing. There are some fun characters, such as Hap, the bartender who is like Crazy Ralph from Friday the 13^th; you know, “You're all doomed”, warning the kids of trouble, and all that. I also have to note that Axel looks like Not Aaron Eckhart and I have to give props to Hollis, who looks like Not John Candy with a giant mustache and a “Kiss My (Donkey)” hat. And yes, I enjoy the kills. You get to see in the unrated version... they are pretty nasty and gruesome. So, you'll likely enjoy the kills too if you are a slasher fan. The intentional and unintentional laughs help balance out all the horror stuff, making this quite a bit of fun for me.

I'll be back Sunday afternoon, where I'll talk about what I hope is the glory and majesty of Fast & Furious 6.

Picasso Trigger

Picasso Trigger (1988)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Andy Sidaris

Starring: Steve Bond, Dona Spier, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond, Roberta Vasquez

From: Malibu Bay Films

Yes, after more than 5 months, I've finally watched another Andy Sidaris film; I've been doing it in chronological order and this was right after the infamous and hilarious Hard Ticket to Hawaii. From what I've heard, after that one the rest of these wacky silly movies that Sidaris did just weren't the same.

The plot... double agent Picasso Trigger (named after a fish; really, the Lagoon Triggerfish is sometimes known as that, as its look makes it appear to be painted by Picasso himself; there's also a painting of the fish and it's part of the plot) is gunned down by Miguel Ortiz, a bad guy. To make a long story short it involves Ortiz's brother being dead so understandably Ortiz is pissed and he (along with some other people) guns down those who he felt responsible for his brother's death, mainly being those in “The Agency” (the group of people represented in Hard Ticket to Hawaii and Malibu Express). The Agency gets together and they go after those bad guys. That includes a cousin of the Abilene boys you saw in the first two movies, and like with them, his shooting is so bad he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.

It's more convoluted than that but by the middle you'll figure it out... not that the plots in these goofball films really ever matter. I thought it was strange that in the first half of the movie you only see one pair of bare breasts but soon thereafter in the 5 minute section where several different couples make out and bump uglies (and also you see more after that), suddenly you see pair after pair after pair... it does take time to get going; the second half is for sure better than the first. You get plenty of explosions, for sure.

So yeah this isn't as great as the last film old Andy did-like I said already-but it's still entertaining if you're willing to watch such programming. There's wacky 80's music, fashion (one guy always has on a shirt that is almost completely unbuttoned), and aside from the boobs there's such plot elements as a sex/slave trading ring and weapons like a shotgun crutch and motorized toys that blow up, such as cars and an airplane. I also laugh that one of the good guy agents is an attractive Hispanic lady known as PANTERA and an older guy in the agency apparently has the code name UNCLE LONG DONG. Tremendous.

Oh, and there's a fight between two buff bad guys and a girl/guy combo where the bad guys do pro wrestling moves on the dude, including the Boston Crab and the old Hart Foundation Hart Attack finisher. Seriously. I marked out. Like I said, the second half definitely is better; it's more action-packed and wacky, at least. I'll be back tomorrow night.

Fast & Furious

Fast & Furious (2009)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: Justin Lin

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez

From: Universal

Finally, I am caught up on what I've watched as of late. It hasn't been movie-watching time the past few nights, so that is why I am caught up. It was my first time watching this film, one that apparently people don't like... as if the rest of the moveis in this series are high works of art or are beloved by everyone.

The plot is that Dom Toretto (Diesel) and the rest of the gang return as he and Brian O'Conner (Walker) are both looking for the same big-time heroin dealer who operates along the Mexico border in California and in fact uses drivers to smuggle drugs via an underground tunnel; O'Conner is looking for him because he's now an FBI agent; I know, I know. Dom is looking for him as his girlfriend Letty (Rodriguez) is said to be killed while working for the drug dealer. I say it's not a spoiler as hey, you know from the advertising for the 6^th one that an important plot point is Letty returning. You never do see her dead body in the 4^th one, so that would explain it... although that sort of ruins the motivation for Toretto, in hindsight.

It seems like that this gets a mixed reaction, with many saying it's the worst of the series. I disagree. Sure, it pales in comparsion to Fast Five, but many films in the action genre do, to be perfectly honest. I say that this is comparable overall to the first one, which means it's fine enough for me and an entertaining time. The band being back together is nice, and there being high stakes due to an important character (apparently) dying is important in adding drama. And, the action and the driving scenes are all nice and fun to watch. So that was enough for me to enjoy it and I did not think it was a waste of time or anything of that sort; I didn't need to see it when it came out but I did not hate watching it in 2013.

Also, I did not mind seeing Gal Galdot! She first appeared here and since then she's been a part of the series. I usually don't prefer model-thin ladies but looks-wise I think she is quite attractive. That is what I thought in Fast Five and it was nice to see her debut here.

I'll be back Wednesday night.

The Fast And The Furious/2 Fast 2 Furious

The Fast and The Furious (2001)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Rob Cohen

Starring: Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, Rick Yune

From: Universal

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: John Singleton

Starring: Paul Walker, Tyrese, Eva Mendes, Cole Hauser

From: Universal

On this random Saturday night where I'm also watching a free UFC event at the same time (it's been average overall), I figured I should combine the first two movies in this franchise into one entry. I still haven't watched Tokyo Drift yet, but as it has little to do with the rest of the series, that'll be viewed sometime in the distant future, probably. It should be noted by me that I've never thought highly of the car culture presented in the franchise... you know, stupid lame-ass modding of your car, illegal dangerous street racing-which has killed innocent bystanders-having your car use NOS, and all that nonsense. I've always thought it was extraordinarilly stupid, to be honest.

Still, I always thought that the first movie was entertaining-enough. Sure, it's easy to poke fun of but it's fine. It's a standard old hot rod tale of a cop, Brian O'Connor (Walker) going undercover into that culture to try and find out who is heisting trucks with modded cars. He doesn't want to believe but turns out it's the group of people led by Dom Toretto (Diesel); the fact that Brian has fallen in love with Dom's sister Mia (Brewster) complicates things. A rival Asian gang led by Johnny Tran (Yune) is also involved.

Like I said, I always thought this was fine. All the driving is fine to watch and aside from the whole hijacking and illegal racing thing, Dom and his crew really are not THAT bad... as long as you're able to at least tolerate the culture depicted here, then this is inoffensive entertainment. I never imagined back then that the series would still be going on and it would lead to something like Fast Five.

I also saw 2 Fast 2 Furious back in the day, and I never really cared for it. The plot is that Brian O'Connor is now an ex-cop and on the run for letting Dom go instead of arresting him. He ends up in Miami and he has to help the feds on a case to bring down a drug lord; this is all done via a simple drug shipment with a pair of automobiles. Monica Fuentes (Mendes) also works for the feds and has been undercover for the past year. Brian enlists the help of his old frienemy Roman Pearce (Tyrese).

Even now, this movie was eh for me. There are some fun moments but everything just seems slight and inconsequential. There are plenty of stupid moments, too, and usually in a bad way; I don't even want to get started on the scene with the rat, an upside down bucket on Mark Boone Junior's stomach, and a blowtorch. There's plenty of CGI and a lot of it... not so hot 10 years later. I don't know what to make of the incredibly homoerotic relationship between Brian and Roman. Roman takes his shirt off when he's around Brian for no real reason, and he disapproves of the budding relationship brewing with Brian and Monica. He does not like it... is it because he wants Brian for himself? That's fine with me, homosexuality and all that; I just imagine that wasn't what the filmmakers were going for.

I know that some like this film; it's not for me. Maybe the title being so goofy is a sign as to its quality. I'll be back Monday night.