The Foreigner (2003)
Runtime: 96 minutes
Directed by: Michael Oblowitz
Starring: Steven Seagal, Harry Van Gorkum, Jeffrey Pierce, Anna-Louise Plowman, Max Ryan
From: Tri-Star/Franchise Pictures
Why did Netflix add THIS to their platform?
Besides mentioning that no review was posted yesterday-I was busy, including a theatrical viewing of a movie that will be reviewed tomorrow afternoon-the reason why I am subscribed to Netflix again... technically, there was a two month pause. A few days ago, there was a “Oh yeah, the pause is over, the service better be used again by me.”
The Foreigner not only served as a respite for all the horror films viewed in October, there's been a desire for years to view a truly terrible Steven Seagal film from his DTV era, mainly out of morbid curiosity. Foreigner featured many (though not all; I didn't hear anyone attempting to dub his dialogue because Seagal couldn't be arsed to do ADR) of the hallmarks emblematic of this era: dreary European locations, a portly Seagal too lazy to show off his Aikido martial arts, and a convoluted plot. That last point was the Achilles heel of The Foreigner.
This is not like The Big Sleep in having a complex story, or the work of an auteur, a virtuoso presenting a detailed, layered story involving thought-provoking characters that result in film scholars admiring the picture as if they were a sommelier appreciating a stellar Cabernet Sauvignon.
Rather, the film does not present its tale in the most cogent fashion. The main plot throughline, the viewer can comprehend... Seagal's JONATHAN COLD is a badass who used to be “an operative” who now freelances, including delivering a package. He's more than a simple courier... the viewer eventually learns the contents of the package, and why many wish to have it for themselves. However, this is full of incident, of too many characters, of dialogue that's boilerplate to this sort of picture, of poor storytelling that makes this too much of a headache for most people.
The Foreigner at least filmed in luxurious mansions, featured a few hilarious early 2000's moments-including the period techno soundtrack-a helpful explanation to everyone what asphyxiation is (?!) and used real squibs. Otherwise, this nonsense stinks. Seagal-as typical-sports his typical “constipated” face, which also described his performance! Aside from some unintentionally hilarious moments, the film isn't even all that exciting. Most people shouldn't even bother w/ this crap. There's also a sequel (!!), 2005's Black Dawn; I won't be bothering w/ continuing the adventures of Jonathan Cold.
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