Runtime: 94 minutes
Directed by: John Carpenter/Tobe Hooper
Starring: Many familiar faces, including Robert Carradine (RIP)
From: Showtime
A belated RIP to Robert Carradine. While it took two months, this does not mean that I wasn’t bummed to hear about his death. The circumstances are especially rough; no hate on him or anyone else who struggled that much with those particular personal demons. It was always nice seeing him in a role, whether it was in Revenge of the Nerds, The Long Riders, or Escape from L.A. Of course, I never watched Lizzie McGuire but I’m glad that Carradine was able to work for decades & more importantly, had a loving family & judging by random Instagram posts that were in my feed two months ago, had many friends.
This is a Showtime TV movie which originally was to be that network’s version of Tales from the Crypt, but the show wasn’t picked up. A shame; John Carpenter was a hoot as the host, The Coroner. Like w/ The Cryptkeeper, he looked decrepit as terrible lines & puns were uttered.
The first segment was The Gas Station; me and many others find this to be the best. Carradine was Bill, who clocked out as new employee Anne clocked into the overnight shift at a 24 hour gas station convenience store in the middle of nowhere. He gives her the basic info then it was peace out for him as Anne works alone. Several customers are met, but there are reports that a serial killer is loose…
The Gas Station was the highlight in the eyes of me & many others. Several wacky guests visited the station (those were fun cameos) and chuckles were had. However, once the killer made their presence known, the suspense was cranked up and the experience became a fun ride. For many, the scenario of being stuck alone in an isolated location at night w/ a serial killer is utterly terrifying, but it has to be 10 times so for those that identify as female.
For those that identify as male, Hair will be chilling on its own if you experience thinning hair or otherwise are losing those follicles. There’s plenty for me to be neurotic about but at least what's on top of my head isn't. Stacy Keach is so hung up on this, he doesn’t listen to his girlfriend Sheena Easton’s proclamation that it isn’t a big deal to her. He visits a clinic seen in a commercial; yes, he does get new hair (holy cow, was it a hysterical look for him) but the other shoe drops, and suddenly he regrets his vanity. Hair is the most outwardly funny segment but the horror moments still do hit.
Unlike Carpenter’s The Gas Station and Hair, Eye was directed by Tobe Hooper. Mark Hamill (w/ mustache & Southern accent!) is a minor league baseball player likely to be called up to Major League Baseball. However, he loses his eye in a nasty car accident; luckily for him, doctor John Agar proclaims he can perform an eye transplant. As it’s from John Agar, of course Hamill and his girl Twiggy soon regret the transplant. The biggest surprise wasn’t even the Biblical subplot; rather, it was a fully-nude Hamill!
As with all anthologies, the bits vary in quality but thankfully all were at least good and provided variety. The practical effects were a breath of fresh air in 2026 as was the score from Carpenter, w/ Jim Lang. I was happy that the cast was full of familiar faces, no matter how small their role; everyone from Buck Flower and Charles Napier to David Warner, Debbie Harry, & Roger Corman.
While I wish it wouldn’t have taken a sad death from a legendary acting family for me to finally tackle Body Bags, this was a good selection for me to tip my cap to the late Robert Carradine.
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