Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984)
Runtime: 86 minutes
Directed by: Edmund Purdom… and others
Starring: Purdom, Alan Lake, Belinda Mayne, Gerry Sundquist, Kelly Baker
From: Spectacular Trading International
Merry Christmas, everyone!
I went into this British slasher film with the foreknowledge that it may be in bad taste to discuss a “psychopath murders everyone dressed as Santa Claus” picture on December 25th… there also was the foreknowledge that this was a troubled production, which was apparent on screen. Star/director Edmund Purdom feuded w/ the producers so he was gone for part of the production, resulting in scenes never filmed/other directors taking over and it was exactly as coherent as you’d expect once you hear this was also from some of the people who gave us Pieces.
The general idea wasn’t bad; for reasons that probably won’t surprise, a masked psychopath starts killing people in London who are dressed as Santa Claus. Both the daughter of a victim and Scotland Yard attempt to crack the case. Now, the highlight of the movie: the variety of different gruesome deaths. It is more than just stabbings and many were bloody. That was more compelling than the herky-jerky, fragmented plot which was difficult to follow or even care about at times. At least there’s an unforgettable scene at a urinal I dare not spoil.
The end result has the expected amount of gore, sleaze & nudity-wow was it ever sleazy-the footage seen usually wasn’t done poorly and the score was interesting. A shame that it has some fatal flaws. Don’t Open Till Christmas has preposterous moments such as a guy thinking that the girlfriend of his buddy will automatically accept his offer to take some dirty pictures for publication, that buddy randomly playing a flute on the street, a character named Sgt. Powell who is no Sgt. Al Powell by any means and you can’t forget the cameo from Caroline Munro… as herself (!) singing a song (!!) on a stage and it looks like an early 80’s music video (!!!) Happy Holidays, indeed.
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