Runtime: 100 minutes
Directed by: Irwin Allen
Starring: An all-star cast, who probably were embarrassed by the end result
From: Warner Bros.
Was the viewer SUPPOSED to agree with Vincent Price’s devil character? In short, earlier in the summer I and <a href="https://letterboxd.com/noracharles1934/">Karina Oliveira</a> (I mention their name as they mentioned mine in a review to a film I recommended) discussed this infamous film-from Irwin Allen; ironic then that this was a disaster!-and it wasn’t mentioned as a good motion picture but rather one so bizarre it was better seen than described. It has to be said right away: despite my bottom of the barrel rating, I am NOT upset about being cajoled into finally checking out an oddity I’ve known of for ages.
When it played on TCM earlier in August during their day devoted to Ronald Colman, I DVR’ed the showing as the picture ran in the morning, almost as if the channel was trying to hide it. Or, perhaps it’s because the print has clearly never been restored; not that there’s a clamor for this ever to happen nor would an extensive 4K restoration would do anything else besides polish a turd.
For my tastes, The Story of Mankind contained a heap of bad cliches even before this got out of the starting blocks. Courtroom movies aren’t really my thing due to personal preferences… or rather, what drives me batty. To clarify, there is a trial in Heaven because humanity discovered “the super H-bomb” and it actually will blow up the world, like Oppenheimer said could possibly happen w/ the first atomic bomb. There are arguments over whether “they” should intervene or if rather we should blow up our own dumb asses! Price is Satan while Colman is “Everyday Man” arguing to save us from ourselves. All the gavel banging, characters in the “courtroom” laughing like it’s a laugh track, and other crap (which is a constant throughout) made me fight REALLY hard against stopping the movie and deleting this aggravating garbage, as it was like Chinese Water Torture for me.
How was I rewarded with this decision? Why, besides the copious usage of stock footage, there was cheap-looking presentations of various events throughout history, where Price is constantly the victor by noting how awful humanity has been throughout this white Eurocentrism-focused presentation of our species, while Colman’s arguments are weak and flimsy in comparison. Oh, and note that a cast full of famous faces are shown in these scenes, all miscast: why, see Hedy Lamarr as Joan of Arc! Marvel at Dennis Hopper as Napoleon! Harpo Marx is Sir Isaac Newton! Virginia Mayo is Cleopatra! Peter Lorre is Nero! Sorry for the exclamation points, but it’s all absurd yet not even fun to see those famous faces in such roles.
Many will get more out of this than I do… and still think the movie is comparable to spending time in Hell. There is novelty in the loony casting but The Story of Mankind was seemingly designed to repel me.
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