Cocaine Bear

Cocaine Bear (2023)

71% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 206 reviews)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Elizabeth Banks

Starring: Keri Russell (no relation) & many famous faces, including Brooklynn Prince and the last role of Ray Liotta

From: Universal

A movie I had to see due to me knowing the true story for many years now. Way back when I saw a TV show which chronicled Andrew C. Thornton II, a police officer in Kentucky who later was the head honcho of a drug-smuggling ring known as The Company. The details of such need not be known to see this movie, although it was quite the tale that lead to suspected deaths & definite disappearances, such as a lady known as Melanie Flynn. On September 11, 1985 a drug run went wrong so after he dumped his coke in the forests of Georgia, he jumped out of his airplane but his parachute didn’t open so he died in a Knoxville, Tennessee driveway.

It wasn’t until later that I heard the story of Cocaine Bear, an ursus americanus who found some of Thornton’s white powder, ingested it, and probably had fun for a brief amount of time before OD’ing in a hopefully painless death. It did not go on a drug-fueled rampage and kill/maim various people. Yet, the real life incident is so strange, the decision to go the wacky route with the idea isn’t too surprising.

The end result? Something I wish would have been funnier to me. There are laughs to be had, sure; however, at least for my personal tastes, there was too much “modern comedy” which flatlined and elicited groans instead of chuckles. Entire characters never worked for me. A shame, as this was otherwise B-movie schlock which managed to entertain between the absurd situations, overqualified cast, occasional graphic gore and nice rural scenery (learning afterwards that Ireland substituted for Georgia was an eye-opener). It wasn’t… UNBEARABLE.

Another surprise that among Keri Russell-no relation-Alden Ehrenreich, Ice Cube’s son, Ray Liotta (RIP), Margo Martindale, and others including Brooklynn Prince, it was fellow child actor Christian Convery who was the most memorable. There was more time spent with those kids than expected so it was a relief that those child actors and characters weren’t the ones that left me exasperated. In terms of overall entertainment this is no M3GAN (an obvious comparison to me) although at least there was camp value and 80’s music/soundtrack-including a score from a musician who was part of a 1980’s song still popular today-to make me not feel too disappointed with the final product.

Incidentally, while it may not be the most dignified fate for a deceased animal, the actual bear that ingested more coke than people backstage at a Fleetwood Mac concert ended up taxidermized and at the Kentucky for Kentucky Fun Mall in Lexington if anyone wants to pay their respects.