Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins

Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins (2021)

41% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 94 reviews)

Runtime: 121 minutes

Directed by: Robert Schwentke

Starring: Henry Golding, Andrew Koji, Haruka Abe, Takehiro Hira, Ursula Corbero

From: Paramount/MGM

A.K.A. I see a movie as part of a full day's worth of activities.

If you are wondering why I would watch Snake Eyes when I hated the first G.I. Joe film and thought its sequel was little better, this goofy bit of summer blockbuster entertainment was one item on the list of things I did during a rare sojourn to South Florida for the day. It was at an AMC that had an IMAX With Laser setup; as it should go without saying, it does look and sound great although Dolby Cinema is something I think is just a little better. Some other highlights from yesterday will be mentioned at the end. As for the G.I. Joe franchise, the cartoon was watched as a kid but it was never one of my favorites; my tastes were more along the lines of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Anyway, the plot revolves around the titular Snake Eyes being recruited into a clan of ninjas by someone who I know is part of his lore in that universe. Much of it being set in Japan was an ancillary reason why this was given a chance. Snake's dad was killed in the opening; this was NOT the weekend to think of a parent dying... what happened to my mom last July and all. Supporting characters include Scarlett and the Baroness. In terms of ninja pictures, this was not even one of Sho Kosugi's efforts from the 80's. The biggest problem is the action, or rather how too often-especially in the front half-it was of the incoherent variety. I did not hate that like some did but disappointing, yes that was. There are still some badass moments seen but for me and many others, action scenes that are staged in a confusing manner or are shot too close or the camera shakes about or it's edited to death... that will be a major issue.

As for the script, no surprise that there's a surplus of Japanese cliché present-you know, “honor”, “loyalty”, and all the rest. That alone is not a problem; for me (and what has been an issue throughout all the films) is the preposterous and/or supernatural elements that are present; wait until you see some of those here... or rather, perhaps you just shouldn't see the movie. It's not entirely horrible; if nothing else, some unintentional laughs were had. It's unknown by me how many of the wackiest story elements were even canon before or not. The cast as a whole is fine, although I imagine it would have been better if I had first seen Ursula Corbero in the Spanish TV show Money Heist (as it's known in English on Netflix; the same goes for Andrew Koji & the Cinemax program Warrior) rather than this goofy movie where the G.I. Joe elements are not even brought up for long stretches. At least this did not put the BRO in Hasbro like the first two did. Still, while the action should have been better it was not a movie I hated even if perhaps it deserved an evisceration at times.

As for the rest of Friday, when I was down near Miami I visited a few places, walked around the mall this AMC Theatre was attached to (Aventura), witnessed several people that made me look normal in comparison, and saw the Miami Marlins lose to the San Diego Padres 5-2. It was a fun game and even though Fernando Tatis, Jr. only was a pinch hitter, in his one at-bat he almost hit a home run. As always, whenever I am down here it is a relief knowing it's not an area I have to live in on a daily basis. Mainly, it's due to the traffic... commuting on the Fury Road would be less stressful than the highways, especially I-95! Two aftermaths of major accidents were seen in about a 10 mile span; egads.