Don't Panic

Don't Panic (1988)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Ruben Galindo, Jr.

Starring: Jon Michael Bischof, Gabriela Hassel, Helena Rojo, Juan Ignacio Aranda, Roberto Palazuelos

From: Several Mexican companies

The best horror movie starring a lead who sometimes wears dinosaur pajamas.

This wasn't the movie I originally was going to see last night; however, there were issues with my cable provider, which also handles phone and Internet. There's been issues in the past but I don't want to dwell on that-that may come at a later time. Instead, all that will be mentioned here is for once, all of the cable channels were screwed up so they couldn't be watched, so there went my idea to view a station. I waited a bit then went with Plan B: a silly Mexican horror movie I heard of once Vinegar Syndrome put it out on Blu; that print is now on Shudder.

It was filmed in Mexico w/ a Mexican crew, made by Mexican companies and directed by a Mexican. Yet it was filmed in English even though much of the cast was Mexican. The lead is a white American ex-pat in Mexico City (which also describes the lead in real life) w/ the hilarious generic white guy name of Michael Smith and for the sake of logic I'll just pretend the characters are speaking Spanish instead. That said, that's not the only source of illogic in Don't Panic.

For example, there are many segments where the 17 year old lead wears a dinosaur pajama top! If he was 10 then it'd make sense, but a guy who (like others in the cast) looked like an adult trying to play a teen, it was preposterous. There are other inexplicable moments which did not help the movie be legitimately good. That is unfortunate as the general idea wasn't so bad: an Ouija board is used at Michael's birthday party and this brings about a demon that possesses someone who isn't Michael but Michael has some sort of psychic link to him, because... well, that wasn't really addressed. Then again, twice in the beginning there is dialogue alluding to some previous event involving an Ouija board and that was never even brought up again, let alone addressed.

Be that as it may, at least this was a loony movie that was entertaining due to all its wacky moments. Besides the pajamas, there's the spectacular eyebrows the lead girl had. I don't want to be rude because she's a pretty gal and all but in these modern times they without doubt would have been waxed. The music was also 80's goodness, although it was also cheesy at times. Best of all, there's a mindblowing theme song sung by the movie's star. There's sappy romantic scenes, dodgy acting, gore that was created in part by Screaming Mad George, and other insanity that was clearly inspired by A Nightmare on Elm Street. Aside from the villain (named VIRGIL) eventually adopting a Freddy-esque visage, he even refers to the lead girl as “a bitch.” Director Ruben Galindo's Cemetery of Terror-shown twice on TV in this movie-is better overall but this was goofier and in a different way still entertained me.