Ultraviolet

Ultraviolet (2006)

Runtime: I saw the unrated 91 minute version

Directed by: Kurt Wimmer

Starring: Milla Jovovich, Nick Chinlund, Cameron Bright, Sebastien Andrieu, William Fichtner

From: Screen Gems

I finally saw this movie last night because... years ago it played in a club atmosphere on a Walt Disney World property? Yes, and let me explain: many moons ago there was a special deal in the auditorium section of the House of Blues where each Sunday real late was Service Industry Night, where anyone could attend but those in the service industry got in for free. Modern electro music was played and BREAKDANCING was a common sight; yes, in the 21st century. Many great times were to be had there. 

A few times, for reasons unknown to me they would show what I quickly realized to be this movie on small CRT televisions that were scattered around the club. Ultraviolet at least has many bright colors; hell if I could make out the story without hearing the audio. After last night, I can say... I still can't make out the plot! What a rib for the lead character to say in the beginning, “I was born into a world you may not understand”... truer words were never spoken.

The thing is, I saw the unrated version via DVD and from Wikipedia, this cut is more coherent than what was put out into cineplexes and this really baffling version is by far the easiest one to find via streaming and other places. The PG-13 cut barely explains the super soldier vampire virus that Jovovich and others are infected with. As there is an even worse Ultraviolet than the one I saw, this is why my rating isn't even lower. As typical, the “unrated” designation does not mean that there is any actual blood or gore present... that was still at PG-13 level. The plot is nonsense and I couldn't be made to care about anything going on. Another issue is character motivations and attitudes; the key example is that early on, Violet mentions that she wishes to kill “every member” of humanity for turning her into that creature. Five minutes later, she... doesn't want to blow up a bomb in the middle of downtown because it'll kill humans?! I swear this is true.


The movie may have not looked so bad back in the day on a small CRT television... turns out, that viewing experience w/ no audio is far more palpable than seeing it in 2020 via a Blu-ray playing a DVD copy. It is full of CG and all of it looks atrocious. It's like an old videogame... a crappy one you are forced to see someone play. There isn't really anything else to say concerning a pile of dung I'll be happy to forget about for the rest of time, so one last anecdote: early in 2015, I viewed a movie on a cable channel that for some reason I confused with this, and not realizing the error until it was awhile into the movie: Aeon Flux. At least to me, both share a similar style and vibe; it wasn't great but at least that was better than this. By the way, Aeon Flux... isn't that the name of Elon Musk's new child?