Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever (2002)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: KAOS. Yes, that's what Wych Kaosayananda called himself

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Lucy Liu, Gregg Henry, Ray Park, Talisa Soto

From: Franchise Pictures

This movie is a stinker and not just for its goofy title: 

Among many questions... why aren't the mounties involved with this movie filmed and set in Vancouver, Canada?

I have actually seen this crap-pile before; it was so long ago that I had forgotten most of why I thought this was poor; last night reminded me exactly why this is almost universally-derided. For all the action, explosions, and bullets that are seen and used (at least the action was coherently shot), when the story is utter nonsense and you don't give a damn about any of the characters, that is a gigantic issue which is impossible to overcome.

You'd think the plot would be about wacky nanotechnology designed to secretly kill that is introduced early on, but it proves to be a minor plot point. Instead, Lucy Liu (Sever) kidnaps the young son of the villain. You'd think then that it'd be about Ecks (Antonio Banderas) tracking down Sever, but the majority of it was those two teaming up to take out the enemy, because... reasons. There is plenty of action yet it does not leave any impression because I did not care about the story and had no sympathy for any of the characters. There were many occasions where either lead should have easily been killed yet it doesn't happen. Of course, the trope happens at the end where crack shots suddenly screw up and couldn't hit the broad side of the barn... people laugh at the film due to its unwieldy title and how the director called himself Kaos, but this is just forgettable dreck.

Also, I just have to note an observation that is not meant as a slight or a demerit... the movie is amazingly of its time. Between the credits and the electronic score, this screams “early 2000's” and I am amused because films ceased being like that long ago. In addition, this movie is really stupid. As I mentioned in the opening line, the setting is Vancouver, Canada yet some FBI guy leads the “multinational” operation and yet it's a small deal and no one is identified as being Canadian, and even after things go south, no Canadian federal authorities are around; why didn't they have the movie set in Seattle or another major American city, as everyone else does? It's incredibly dopey.

I've heard the Game Boy Advance game this is based on is far better, as is the game sequel that is based on this movie; the script was around for years but it was only after it was turned into a game that the movie got greenlit, and I wish this would have stayed on the GBA, and I wish Banderas & Liu could have starred in something far better.