Birdemic: Shock And Terror!

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

Runtime: 93 minutes

“Directed” by: James Nguyen

“Starring”: Alan Bagh, Whitney Moore, Janae Caster, Colton Osborne, Adam Sessa

From: Moviehead Pictures

Yep, I finally got around to this, and it rep is not undeserved: 

What a perfect movie to talk about on (American) Thanksgiving, this gigantic cinematic turkey. Its toxic reputation is well-deserved and the two dollar special effects that are worthy of lulz is not the only reason this is so loathed.

The overall message of being pro-environment and humanity's pollution F'ing up the Earth is always a good one, but it's hidden in this atrocious piece of crap. The first half of the movie is two goofballs (Rod and Nathalie) meeting cute and falling in love; both are improbably successful... she gets a Victoria's Secret gig and he makes millions of dollars from an improbable sale of the low-rent company he works for to Oracle. That first half just about put me to sleep, and you only see the birds once. The second half, their constant attacks never stop being a knee-slapper due to how awful the effects look.

Everything about this movie aside from its message is wrong: the acting, overall direction, editing, sound mixing (there is often silence or the audio just goes quiet between characters talking to each other in a conversation), logic, the film's timeline, pacing, continuity... it really is as amazingly putrid as you've heard. Not to spout out a hoary cliché but the movie is better seen than described, as how inept the entire production is cannot be fully conveyed with only words, as the right words have not been yet invented to properly describe this experience.

There is a lot to laugh at with this film, although I'll say The Room is funnier and more baffling as an all-time bad movie experience. That said, I won't spoil most of the best bits, but I will bring up the LOL statement of Rod's Ford Mustang being “a plug-in hybrid”, as the iconic sports car has never been close to being a hybrid. There is also the brass balls move of the movie advertising and crediting Tippi Hedren as having a role when all it is... it's a few seconds of stock footage from some film that is on a TV in the middle of one scene.

I have seen the trailer for its sequel, and it appears to be what typically happens with motion pictures like this: the filmmakers are now in on the joke and thus them being terrible on purpose just won't be as entertaining or fun.