Battlefield Earth

Battlefield Earth (2000)

Runtime: 118 minutes

Directed by: Roger Christian

Starring: John Travolta, Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker, Kim Coates, Sabine Karsenti

From: Morgan Creek/Franchise Pictures

Yes I've seen this travesty before, and it is as putrid as I had remembered: 

This may be a total indictment of me but I have watched this horrific motion picture more than once now; at least I can say this will be the last time. I remember that even when this came out, there was discussion in my high school (at least with a few people) over how brutally vicious the reviews were. Once I saw the movie the first time, I realized how correct those critical reviews were. Recently, Netflix Instant added this film (yet another “winner” they've added to their service as of late) so it was time for me to discuss this here and talk about how such things as how stinky the movie is and serious behind the scene drama that is more interesting than the motion picture itself.

I am no fan of L. Ron Hubbard or Scientology; this review won't address him as a person or how awful I feel that “religion” is. I can say that if the first half of Hubbard's book (of which this was based on) is similar to the film's plot, then the book is also awful. The story being rather simplistic is not its downfall... the hero being named Jonnie Goodboy Tyler is laughable but the fact that the plot is utter nonsense, you don't believe it's 1,000 years in the future (even 100 years is stretching it) and there are so many dumb moments. Tyler leading humanity in an uprising against 9 foot tall evil humanoid aliens is not inspiring, in large part because those aliens-known “cleverly” as Psychlos-are portrayed as utter morons, who somehow think that dogs are superior to man because of a photo where a dog is in the backseat of a car and they don't know what humans like to eat... not to mention all the dumbass things that boss Psychlo Terl (Travolta in a performance where I actually felt a little silly for him, hamming it up while he and his compatriots have to wear garish-looking outfits) does for no reason which becomes incredibly advantageous for Jonnie.

In addition, there's plenty of discussion of Psychlo politics and how the species is obsessed with “leverage” over each other... and why should we care? Why should we care about a group of buffoons that argue about Psychlo politics and bureaucracy? I definitely don't. The film is just laughable, and while it did give me a few chuckles, overall this is just painful. It is not just the tale full of plotholes & baffling inconsistencies that is a problem, but the movie is not pleasant to look at. It is incredibly washed-out/desaturized and the director Roger Christian made some questionable decisions... much of the film is in Dutch angles and that's just goofy. Then there's the horizontal wipe that is used more than a dozen times; Christian (who did some work with George Lucas during the original Star Wars films and also The Phantom Menace) must have used one of George's wipes.

Franchise Pictures made this film and they had a unique method: they sought to bring pet projects from major stars to the screen, as long as the stars take a reduced paycheck; Franchise hoped the big names would result in box office success, but that rarely happened; in fact, The Whole Nine Yards was the only clear success, and they did a few dozen films over the years. What sunk them was that this was one of a few movies where German company Intertainment AG provided cash, but Franchise inflated the budget so they could pocket that cash. That ended up being a federal case and Franchise Pictures lost; no surprise they eventually declared bankruptcy. A production like this (even for the late 90's) needed a lot more money to not look shoddy and cheap like this did. No offense to the production team and I am sure they did their best with what they had, but those effects are so bad.

Considering that this is a film where there's another race briefly shown & they are known as Clinkos but in the book it's slightly different... and I won't repeat that term here as it's actually a horrific racial slur; there's a good reason to not like L. Ron even if you divorce everything about Scientology from the equation. The film really is as agonizing as you've heard; it's not the worst you've ever seen yet it's still a boondoggle. As I said at the beginning there is no need to subject myself to this ever again and perhaps you shouldn't either... even if-to borrow a phrase from someone-Forest Whitaker looks like a cross between The Cowardly Lion and George Clinton.