Nobody Speak: Trials Of The Free Press

Below, I talk about a recent Netflix documentary:

Oh boy, there's a lot I could say here... I'll try to not write a dissertation with this review or upset anyone by stating comments involving politics. Last night seemed like a good time to check this out, what with all that controversy over the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner and how it's yet another issue with the press. Now, cable news media I have a dim view of (and that is all the ones we have in America; I am not singling out Fox News, for example) as it's more entertainment than actual news reporting, and what is said there: usually inaccurate; otherwise, journalism is not the heinous thing that Trump says it is-and he is discussed in like the last 10 to 15 minutes of this film. The idea of billionaires influencing the news media so nefarious stories about them are not printed is an Orwellian nightmare, a scenario that is always frightening due to how it is an affront against the free speech rights that are guaranteed in the United States.

Besides discussing Trump, there's are two main stories covered, one at a time: Las Vegas billionaire Sheldon Adelson in secret purchasing the city's major newspaper, in effect so they wouldn't write any more stories that mention his name, as in the past when his name was broached, it wasn't always in a positive light... but perhaps he shouldn't have done those things that resulted in bad press being reported. The spotlight piece was Hulk Hogan vs. Gawker, and what an absurdity the whole thing was:

* Hulk Hogan sues Gawker because they published part of a sex tape where he bangs the wife of his close confidant doofus shock jock DJ Bubba the Love Sponge, who gets off on other men banging his wife

* Bubba was the one who leaked the tape; what a pal he turned out to be.

* The trial was a farce and it definitely was slanted against Gawker.

* Absurd dialogue happened, such as Terry Bollea stating that his claims of having a 10 inch penis were him in his Hulk Hogan character and Terry Bollea does not have a 10 inch penis.

* Allegedly, Hogan suing was not for the minute of the sex tape that was shown on Gawker, but rather another sex tape where he uttered racial and homophobic slurs.

* Oh, and Silicon Valley billionaire Peter Thiel funded Bollea's legal team as he had a vendetta to bankrupt the organization.

Now, I am not a Gawker fan; them covering stories that traditional media won't touch... that idea alone isn't offensive to me. I did not like the Gawker site nor the sub-sites that are now currently owned by Univision. To me it was a bunch of glib unfunny condescending p****s who usually were lousy writers and wrote the dumbest drivel and articles that were wastes of time. The fact that they publicly outed Thiel (among many other offenses) meant that I did not feel sorry for them that Gawker Media lose the case and in such spectacular fashion... even if it was totally unfair against them and it set a horrible precedent of rich tools going after traditional media due to negatives being reported against them-which Gawker and newspapers did... they covered the failures and gross acts that Thiel and his rich compadres were involved in.

Like I said it may have been more ideal to have those three topics discussed in three separate full-length documentaries as all are worthy tales. Alas... this at least did present the general point of how journalism should never be affected by how much money an individual possesses and it is an important message to present.

I'll close this out by mentioning how I hope the whole Gawker case is written about in books; aside from what I have previously mentioned, what a past 10 to 15 years Terry Bollea has had: he decided to have one of those awful fake "reality" shows created so it could be the launch of his daughter Brooke's singing career... which did not happen. The show may have increased tensions between him and his longtime wife Linda, resulting in a nasty divorce where he lost a lot of money... Hogan can't wrestle any longer because his body (especially his back) broke down due to all those years in the ring... and oh yeah, his son Nick was a dumbass one night and drag-raced, resulting in a crash that resulted in his friend John Graziano being injured to the point he suffered brain damage and will likely need to receive care for the rest of his life. That is why I say there should be books about a story that has such outrageous incidents & moments.

Another Update

The past few days I've ever been preoccupied with other things or rewatch older movies, including Iron Man. I still think that's pretty good; no I don't plan on ever seeing "that one film" which came out a few days ago... tomorrow things should be back to normal.

Sunrise: A Song Of Two Humans

Sunrise: A Song of Two Humans (1927)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: F.W. Murnau

Starring: George O'Brien, Janet Gaynor, Margaret Livingston, Bodil Rosing, J. Farrell MacDonald

From: What later became 20^th Century Fox

For awhile now I've known this to have received an incredible amount of hype among hardcore films fans; after last night, I saw that it was warranted: 

It was about time I watched another silent, so why not see one that is said to be among the best silents ever made? I now can confirm it is pretty great. The melodramatic story has themes as old as time itself but it's presented in an expert manner.

Things aren't much more complicated than a love triangle where a metropolitan woman from the city has an affair with a married farmer (he has a wife and a young son) out in a rural area and the mistress wants her lover to murder his wife. The rest of the film is his decision whether or not to do so, and the ramifications. It sounds basic and the plot isn't too terribly complex as presented, yet it's always riveting due to how the story is presented.

Around these parts I am sure I don't need to explain F.W. Murnau's credentials or why he's so highly revered even today. He brought his German Expressionist style to Hollywood in what was his first American picture; he was given carte blanche to make whatever he wanted by the studio that was to become 20th Century Fox, and the style he had honed over the years was used here to bring this fable to life. I won't spoil much of what was shown-and if you are familiar with Murnau you have some sort of idea anyhow as to the sorts of images that are here-but there is a tremendous tracking shot that is still impressive today; back in '27 it must have been mind-blowing. Visually, the movie is absolutely dazzling, with various tricks used to create a distinctive look throughout, not to mention all the flourishes that pop up.

There are few intertitles shown; the movie and how it was shot expresses the plot perfectly with only a few cards to explain things or note what someone is saying. As I sometimes say, this is another one of those movies better seen than described; all the hype it's gotten over the decades as a masterpiece worthy of viewing: that is indeed true.

Best Of Cinerama

Best of Cinerama (1963)

Runtime: 143 minutes

This is not only a documentary but it's a best-of featuring clips from the previous Cinerama non-fiction movies.

From: Cinerama Productions Corporation

This was something different that I am glad I got to watch last night as a breath of fresh air: 

A few months ago Flicker Alley put up a Cinerama release for streaming on Amazon; that was Cinerama's Russian Adventure, which was something I did enjoy as a film involving various sights & sounds of The Soviet Union on a simulated curved screen was pretty rad to me. Even if the offerings they put up on the streaming services are in mono instead of 5.1 DTS like it is on disc... just recently they put up this film for streaming; it was clips from the five previous productions done by Cinerama Productions Corporation.

Among the footage you get to see is: being on a rollercoaster, skiing down a hill, riding on a bobsleigh, various locations in Europe, seeing Pope Pius XII, a bullfighting ring in Spain (no, you don't see any of the bulls get killed or even struck by knives; it cuts away before any of that is shown), footage from what was Cypress Gardens in Florida, a train in Darjeeling that wasn't The Darjeeling Limited, a New Orleans brass band, and much more--along the way are cheesy obviously phony storylines; thankfully those only occasionally happen and they are pretty silly. The very end is pretty serious as various locations associated w/ Jesus Christ are seen from the perspective of a low-flying airplane.

There is some goofiness present and there's a condescending moment or two; in addition I haven't seen this footage in context to the original films they were a part of... yet I can still give this a nice rating. Plenty of pretty scenery from literally around the world is displayed and you also get to see not only the Vienna Boys Choir sing a song but a bit from the opera Aira is shown and heard. I can comprehend how in a production that lasts almost 2 ½ hours and is leisurely paced, some may think there were lulls; in contrast, I was always captivated by the wide variety of images I got to witness.

I did not even have to imagine what it must have been like for people back in the 50's and 60's to experience this movies in a world which was filled with mono sound and black & white TV's to be awed by these productions, but I am happy Flicker Alley restores and releases these curios.

The Enforcer

The Enforcer (1976)

Runtime: 96 minutes

Directed by: James Fargo

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Tyne Daly, Harry Guardino, Bradford Dillman, John Mitchum

From: Warner Bros.

This movie isn't bad yet there are better options if you want to see a Dirty Harry flick: 

Last July I rewatched Magnum Force, so it's been more than enough time for me to continue my revisiting of the Dirty Harry franchise. This has never been my favorite in the franchise and I'll explain why that's the case.

It starts off fine: what proves to be the villains do their first killings. They are Vietnam vets who dress like dirty hippies and they want a lot of money; that's pretty much it... you don't really get to know these cats or even spend a lot of time with them. The Scorpio Killer or a band of rogue vigilante cops, they ain't in terms of being memorable or even worthy of being followed closely. Dirty Harry also gets a nice introduction, going OTT in stopping a robbery. Amazingly, the police don't condone their officers driving into buildings as it's not only dangerous but they have to foot the bill in repairs.

The biggest plot point: both the movie and Harry are against affirmative action. Just mentioning such things I know could bring up controversy but that is clear to me when they had the “wackiness” of Inspector Callahan not only team up with a woman, but one who only got the position to meet a new quota and have diversity be seen by the public. Sure, that lady (played by Tyne Daly) has been a cop for years but it was a desk job and Harry's fears of having a partner who is woefully inexperienced is a valid argument. Of course at first she's not good in her new role and their professional relationship is not convivial at first... only for her performance and Harry's opinion of her to improve, but the movie seems to give off a certain measure about such things, and considering the ending I say THAT is a valid argument in of itself.

As I heard various people say here and elsewhere, the film is shot like a TV movie and visually, it definitely is not as dynamic like the first two even if there are a few crane shots throughout. Yet for me there was enough to where I can still say this is good. The Dirty Harry character and Eastwood's charm helps out a lot. There are moments that at least amused me, such as one guy getting shot in the balls, a few minutes spent in a massage parlor, a few quality one-liners are delivered, one scene has a sweet 70's van, and if you ever wanted to hear Clint be called “honky” and “whitey”, there's a black militant subplot-which was little more than a red herring. But the films in the series before this were better and I recall the ones after this were more memorable.

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III

Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990)

Runtime: The much-preferable unrated cut is 85 minutes long and that's what I saw

Directed by: Jeff Burr

Starring: Kate Hodge, Ken Foree, R.A. Mihailoff, William Butler, Viggo Mortensen (lol)

From: New Line Cinema

I know not many people enjoy this movie; maybe they'd like it more if they saw the unrated cut...

NOTE: The version I am reviewing here is the unrated cut as featured on the Warner Archive Blu that came out just earlier this year. I wish that was the one that could easily be accessed via streaming except the R-rated cut that is on sites like Amazon Video.

This was the second of two movies I saw yesterday, also the third movie in a horror franchise. The original TCM (besides being the film which resulted in my most popular review) is still a classic and TCM 2 took time for me to warm up to as it is rather bonkers and out there. Many people don't care for this entry and I feel awful the MPAA massacred it so it was rather neutered for an R-rated picture. My never hating this movie has nothing to do with how the rest of the entries in this franchise after this was released have been utter disasters for the most part.

I understand those that don't like this, as it isn't a classic and it isn't zany fun like the second, not to mention the first two are more memorable. This seems to ignore everything that happens in 2. The lead couple here are arguing fools and some of the dialogue is groan-inducing. Even in unrated form it isn't too terribly gory. Yet I don't think this movie is bad. It's an easy watch and none of the characters are so annoying that it's a turn-off. Viggo Mortensen having a supporting role is funny in hindsight but the true highlight was Ken Foree, both his skills as an actor and the role he played, a survivalist who has a glorious scene near the end... at least if you're viewing the unrated cut. I hope the majority of people who have watched and reviewed this have seen that version and reviewed that.

The ending is baffling, yet in a hilarious way-it reminded me of an alternate version of a movie that everyone hates, but I won't name here-and that in fact was the dreaded “studio interference.” I'll say that's part of the film's charm, along with the few moments of dark humor. I'll say this is fine as a horror film as there are some pretty intense scenes. The Blu's picture and sound are really good, which is nice as there are plenty of scenes set and filmed outdoors at night. The extras look to be ports from the original DVD release-which also has the R-rated version that the Blu doesn't have-yet I am glad I made this purchase.

Omen III: The Final Conflict

Omen III: The Final Conflict (1981)

Runtime: 108 minutes

Directed by: Graham Baker

Starring: Sam Neill, Rossano Brazzi, Don Gordon, Lisa Harrow, Barnaby Holm

From: 20^th Century Fox

As I saw Damien: Omen II on Saturday night, I figured this should be the one of the two horror movies I watched yesterday. This isn't as good as the first two but at least it's a different sort of story and there were some shocking moments, even if the movie wasn't as epic as you'd expect from an adult Damien Thorn (Sam Neill! That and the also in 1981 Possession was his first major roles) doing battle against not only a secret sect of priests wishing to kill The Antichrist but also the Second Coming of Jesus Christ.

I am amused that they paid no care to the timeline and there had to be a retcon that the first two took place in decades past, as this was set in the early 80's; it'd have been more amusing to see them try to figure out what the 2000's would have been from 80's eyes. Anyhow, Damien is a successful philanthropist and via dealing with the President, becomes the Ambassador to the United Kingdom. Between the talk of recessions, high-ranking politicians doing backroom deals and some people in real life thinking it ironic that The Antichrist is hanging out in The White House (insert your own jokes if you wish) and some parts of this are kind of creepy in 2018.

The movie's story does not finish on a high note and one major aspect seems like a major cop-out; plus, the ending itself was on the goofy side and was underwhelming, if I have to be blunt here. It's a shame-yet overall I can still say this is average. Having Neill as the lead definitely was an asset, and the character definitely does some evil things; his (or rather, its) solution to trying and find the infant that is Jesus Christ reborn is logical but wow... the movie is watchable even if it isn't something you want to scrutinize too closely when it comes to the plot being realistic or making much sense.

Not all the deaths in this are wacky over the top gold like in the last film but some are, and those kills made me laugh as they were over the top... although, not as over the top as Damien's rants against Jesus, or as he liked to call him, “Nazarene”. Much to my delight, he even had a sex scene; I only say that as the end of the last film strongly implied that Damien's ever-increasing powers meant that he became “more desirable to the chicks”, as in one scene he has a girl on each arm as he walks into a room, then like a true playa he talks to those two and also several other girls. Not surprisingly his sexual habits are not too dissimilar to Christian Grey...

While this is definitely flawed, I did not think this was heinously bad so I can give an average rating.

Damien: Omen II

Damien: Omen II (1978)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Don Taylor/Mike Hodges

Starring: William Holden, Lee Grant, Jonathan Scott-Taylor, Robert Foxworth, Nicholas Pryor

From: 20th Century Fox

This is a film that by horror movie sequel standards, is perhaps great. By the usual standard, it is not bad: 

I only saw one movie yesterday but I figured it was time for me to see the first sequel to a film that is one of the better horror flicks of the 70's. This isn't as good as that movie and in fact is on the preposterous side, yet manages to provide enough entertainment where I can give this a decent rating. The fact that this was a huge inspiration for the Final Destination franchise played a part in my enjoyment.

William Holden and Lee Grant provided the star power that Gregory Peck and Lee Remick did in the first time; they are the uncle and aunt of Damien Thorn; after the original's ending, Damien goes to live with them and he lives a privileged life. He and his cousin go to a military school. Meanwhile, Thorn Industries dabbles in many things, including improved agriculture techniques; one key person in power wishes to buy land across the world so they can make a profit by planting those crops in areas experiencing the worst famine. That subplot does not mean too much in the end but the entire scenario sounds sadly entirely believable in the world we currently live in.

The movie's story is not the best and many things about this pales in comparison to the original: the plot, the suspense, the terror, etc. Yet it is always watchable and by the standards of horror movie sequels, I can't really complain. The performance by Jonathan Scott-Taylor (Damien) was fine. What a variety of people in this film: the great Lance Henriksen, Lew Ayres, Silvia Sidney, and Meshach Taylor all in the same film. Plus, Jerry Goldsmith delivered as much of a bombastic film score as he did in the original, except that this had more electronic sounds; otherwise there's plenty of choir chanting you get to hear.

The most memorable aspect: the deaths you get to see in the film. For those that love the Final Destination franchise, you'll also love some of the kills you get to see here, as a few are rather elaborate and over the top. One involves a raven & a giant vehicle; another has Taylor in his place of employment that is especially ludicrous and it about made me howl with laughter but it was certainly something I'll never forget. Such moments helped make this movie tolerable despite the various story flaws.

An Update

The past day or two I've been suffering from a malaise so I haven't watched any films; just a random short that I talked about on Letterboxd. However, I feel better now so the next few days, the plan is to see at least one film a day.

Full Metal Jacket

Full Metal Jacket

Runtime: 116 minutes

Directed by: Stanley Kubrick

Starring: Matthew Modine, R. Lee Ermey (RIP), Vincent D'Onofrio, Adam Baldwin, Dorian Harewood

From: Warner Bros.

Yep, this movie is still great, and I am talking about all of it: 

No lie, for awhile now I've been wanting to watch this so I could review it here for the first time, as the last viewing was years ago. I was gonna do it pretty soon, then I heard the sad news that R. Lee Ermey had passed away, and that is why I decided to do this now rather than wait any longer. What a debut for Ermey, an ex-Marine who asked for the role of Gunnery Sgt. Hartman; Kubrick declined, but he barked an order at Kubrick and he complied, so he got hired. It is said that only R. Lee and Peter Sellers were allowed to improvise in a Kubrick picture; what a great performance from him. There is no doubting him being believable in the role as the drill instructor who is hard as a tick and tough as nails as he delivers amazingly profane rants and is a harsh disciplinarian. I imagine all drill instructors were like that to the new recruits in basic training, so they could be whipped into shape and those unworthy would be weeded out.

Anyhow, that role and R. Lee's performance was more than just all those creative insults; he was tremendous and he proved his talent by being successful as a character actor in many different genres and playing more than just “military man” before he passed away. Plenty of people say that once he departs the picture and the action moves to Vietnam proper, the film suffers and it's not as good. That is understandable as he was the most memorable aspect and delivered the best performance. Yet the Vietnam stuff is important as that drives home the main point of the picture, which is how “American patriotism” is a subject worthy of satire as those young men become dehumanized rather quickly and those that can't wait to “get into the shit” quickly realizes their thoughts were in error when they have to deal with hidden snipers, booby traps out of nowhere, and plenty of fire & smoke.

It is not just R. Lee who deserves accolades here for the job they did. The cast was real solid overall, from Matthew Modine to Adam Baldwin to Vincent D'Onofrio as Private Pyle, who was also great as a character that experiences a drastic change. The Vietnam scenes have a few relaxed moments but otherwise are pretty nightmarish due to what I just mentioned. I am sure I don't need to express that Kubrick did a tremendous job in terms of direction, as he did. “Abigail Mead” (actually, his daughter Vivian) did the score and I actually forgot this had a synth soundtrack; it was effective, all those low tones matching pretty well with the movie, where the characters get sucked into the maelstrom and experience the torment that was the Vietnam War.

While this is not the best that Kubrick ever did, that is not a slight being made by me towards one of the greatest directors of all time; I can still confidently give this a very high rating and a main participant recently passing away bears little on the rating.

Lionman

Lionman (Kilic Aslan) (1975)

Runtime: 87 minutes (that's the length of the print I saw today; more on that later)

Directed by: Natuk Baytan

Starring: Cuneyt Arkin, Bahar Erdeniz, Charles Garret, Yildirim Gencer, Cemil Sahbaz

From: Ugur Film

What a wild, wacky Turkish movie this is: 

Yesterday I went to a place I only recently discovered (and by happenstance): Grindhouse Video Tampa. The name alone was enticing to me but after visiting, I wish I had found out about the place much sooner. Besides it being a place where you can sell and trade movies in all sorts of formats (Laserdisc, VHS and even VCD), they sell titles from all the boutique labels: Kino Lorber, Arrow, Shout/Scream Factory, Vinegar Syndrome, Blue Underground, Severin Films, etc. There were even titles from obscure labels (like 88 Films) and import titles from the likes of UK label Indicator and Australian label Umbrella Entertainment, both region-free and region-locked. It was incredible to look at physical copies instead of having to order those titles from an online retailer or the websites of those labels. I say all that as this was one of the titles I picked up in a day where I did spend more than I wanted to.

For awhile now I've known of this movie so this title was one I was interested in getting. It is from Turkey and it is one of those insane Turkish flicks from the past. In Turkish it's Kilic Aslan and the release by AGFA was under the title The Sword and The Claw, as that was the name used for an English dubbed print that actually played in grindhouses back in the early 80's with a super-obscure South Korean kung-fu movie known in English as Brawl Busters, which is helpfully included on the Blu-ray. I'll always call it Lionman due to the late 80's pinball classic Swords of Fury having LIONMAN, LIONMAN being yelled sometimes.

The movie... like I said it's insanity. Amusingly, the disc has the wrong runtime for the movie; I presume as Kilic Aslan it was 109 minutes long, but in this 87 minute cut it is obvious that scenes are missing or edited down. Right away we start with an action scene that has zero context; it just happens. Then there's the awesomely bad dubbing where no matter what happens, many of the voices just sounded bored, or maybe stoned out of their minds. Even without all that, the movie was made as a wacky piece of crap; the plot sounds standard (a tyrant of a general overthrows the king in a medieval setting and the king's newborn son is hidden and as an adult that son gets revenge) but that kid ends up being raised by lions so he wears a loincloth and well...

Note that the hero is played by the legendary Cuneyt Arkin of such films as TURKISH STAR WARS and his fighting skills aren't the usual TURK-FU he does; rather, he logically fights like a lion! There's plenty of leaping and attacks with his hands, which he uses as if they were paws. The costuming and set design is fine and all, but there are plenty of moments that at least made me chuckle due to silliness, zaniness, or great moments such as: the YYAHOORRRGHHH that usually accompanies Lionman arriving on the scene, Lionman using a huracanrana as if he was a pro wrestler, and another character using bitchslaps as his main offensive attack. I was glad this movie made me laugh as much as I hoped it would. The high rating is due to the entertainment value and is definitely different than me giving a high rating to say, The Seventh Seal.

The Two Jakes

The Two Jakes (1990)

Runtime: 137 long minutes

Directed by: Jack Nicholson

Starring: Jack, Harvey Keitel, Madeleine Stowe, Meg Tilly, Ruben Blades

From: Paramount

Saturday night I rewatched Chinatown, which is still a bona-fide classic. Last night was seeing this for the first time; "classic" would be a rather inaccurate way to describe its quality: 

Parallels can be made between this and The Godfather, Part III; they were sequels to films that came out 16 years prior and those were hailed as among the best films of the 1970's at the very least. Trying to capture the same magic after all that time is difficult, not to mention trying to reach such lofty expectations that it will be comparable to a classic. I think the third Godfather isn't bad at all (it just has some bad elements), although it isn't an all-time great like the first two; this film I just saw for the first time last night as I had heard it would be beneficial to see Chinatown again right before I saw that. That is correct as this film relies heavily on the first tale told about Jake Gittes.

Unfortunately, this film just came off as a crappier, more boring version of Chinatown. The scheme is based on oil instead of water but it's pretty similar... just not as good. It starts off with adultery only for things to become much more complicated, people are looking to kill Gittes, there's a femme fatale, etc. While Chinatown was always captivating in its story, a lot of this plot is just dull and not too exciting to watch, and the leaning upon the original film was perhaps a little bit too much.

It's a shame as there were talented people in front and behind the camera. I can't complain too much about Nicholson, the director... even if there were a few odd moments. I can't say this movie was bad or unwatchable; the story is just not that engaging and it does not rise above mediocrity. A shame, whether or not you compare it to the classic original; the 1948 Los Angeles setting is well-realized and this should have been at least good. Alas...

Hell Ride

Hell Ride (2008)

Runtime: 83 long minutes

Directed by: Larry Bishop

Starring: Larry Bishop, Eric Balfour, Michael Madsen, Dennis Hopper, David Carradine

From: Third Rail

Is this the worst movie I've ever seen theatrically? Perhaps. I usually avoid wasting money on things I suspect will be awful, so that list isn't too lengthy. The Room doesn't count, as at least that is a laugh riot. Yes, I saw this on the big screen almost exactly 10 years ago; it was a double-bill I did with the midnight debut of Tropic Thunder... I'll review that sooner rather than later; just know that's a lot better than this crap. I stumbled upon this movie and as I admittedly remembered little of why this was so putrid, it would be fair for me to give this another shot and see if I thought any better of this. As you can see with the rating, “not really” is my answer.

To make another admission, I haven't really seen too many “biker flicks” in my life, especially any featuring Larry Bishop. After I first watched this, I did not want to check out any of his movies so I could experience more of his bad acting or tan leathery skin! This motion picture, what a waste of time. I'd rather not even talk about the story, as it's not only simplistic, but it's dreadfully dull. You don't give a damn about the plot-which is about a pair of biker gangs restarting an old feud-or any of the dirtbag riders you follow. They are all misogynistic cretins and that alone is not a deal-breaker, but when they are all so boring and spout vile dialogue that often contains the F-bomb, why should I give an F-bomb about them?

And the dialogue overall, it is TERRIBLE. There's acres of bad lines and I did laugh at times from how ludicrous some of it was... somehow I had forgotten gems like “whopper of a chopper opera” and a lengthy dialogue about a woman telling Larry Bishop a part of her anatomy is on fire and metaphors are sprinkled in and it's so crude and laughable, I don't even want to repeat it here... just note that it includes “burning bush”, “fire hose” and “fire marshal.” I felt so bad for that actress, and not just for having to act like she's horny for a middle-aged goofus like Larry Bishop! Regrettably, there's another dialogue which revolves around a sex act and it's just disgusting.

Then again I felt bad for all the women in this, who are nothing but sex objects and most of them are seen naked. Oh, and the movie is pretty inept all around; what a waste of some worthwhile people, like Michael Madsen, Vinnie Jones, David Carradine, and Dennis Hopper. Honestly, the only reason why this doesn't get the lowest possible rating is that the music was usually cool. It was tracks from OG biker movies that I presume aren't as intolerable as this, along with popular ditties such as Jenny Take a Ride from Mitch Rider & The Detroit Wheels, and Funkadelic's Maggot Brain.

There is also plenty of female nudity but I can find that in 30 seconds on Google so that isn't a big draw for me. Honestly, I am sure the original films from the late 60's in the biker genre are more worthwhile than this puerile vanity project.

Brainstorm

Brainstorm (1983)

Runtime: 106 minutes

Directed by: Douglas Trumbull

Starring: Christopher Walken, Louise Fletcher, Natalie Wood, Cliff Robertson, Jordan Christopher

From: MGM/UA

This is another example of a film where the torturous production is more well-known than the actual film. Natalie Wood passed away due to still mysterious circumstances (did she argue with husband Robert Wagner then that resulted in her failed attempt to get in a dinghy and her being drunk & on medication led to drowning? Who knows for certain) and because MGM/UA was in dire straits at the time they shut down production, only for Lloyd's of London to foot the rest of the bill so another studio couldn't buy the movie and possibly have a hit on their hands... well, this wasn't a hit but in modern times this is a curio and that is just based on the merits of this motion picture.

The plot: a device that can record the thoughts and feelings of a person OF COURSE has interest from the military. Christopher Walken is the quirky scientist who leads the project... picking him was a natural choice. Louise Fletcher is the gal he works with and she chain-smokes in practically every scene she's in, including those where she's surrounded by all that snazzy early 80's technology, and Natalie Wood is his estranged wife who he awkwardly also has to work with.

The movie does not always work; sure, all the issues during filming was a factor but the story itself is also at fault; the balls that are various plots in the film aren't always juggled successfully. In fact the story loses its way at times. Yet overall I'll rate this as being “fine”. Even if the story meanders at times or perhaps isn't as exciting as it should be, the main cast all does a nice job; I know not everyone cared for Walken playing the character like you'd expect him too but it wasn't too much an issue for me. Plus, I was amused by all that early 80's technology; there was even an early 80's version of texting.

The way filming went drove director Douglas Trumbull out of Hollywood and it was only recently that he returned. It's a shame as he worked on the effects on such films as 2001, Star Trek: The Motion Picture and Blade Runner. Instead, he used the 60 frames per second Showscan that he wanted to use for parts of this film on those motion effects rides that used to be out there back in the day. As special cameras were needed to show the movie that way, I am not surprised MGM/UA balked. Instead, this is still one of those movies with changing aspect ratios-I know some here at Letterboxd are huge fans of that-but the images that you see for the device are at 70mm Super Panavision while the rest of the movie is like at 1.7:1 as that was filmed on 35mm.

Some of the images you see in the movie are tremendous; James Horner did the score and he did a real nice job there. Such elements help this film out through its various struggles and helped me give it a decent rating.

The Adventures Of Pluto Nash!

The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Ron Underwood

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Randy Quaid, Rosario Dawson, Joey Pants (as I like to call him), Jay Mohr

From: Warner Bros./Castle Rock/Village Roadshow

While this isn't the worst thing you'll ever watch... that doesn't mean you should watch it: 

Yes, I decided to watch this film due to my recent watches of actual worthwhile films featuring Eddie Murphy and Pam Grier; yes, she's in this... for a few minutes as Murphy's mom; yes, despite her only being like 12 years older than he is. The film jokes about it but c'mon now. It may come as a shock to some when I say I've actually seen this before... it's true. That was like 15 years ago and truth be told, to steal a quote from someone, “the movie is the kind you forget about 5 minutes after you watch it.” Honestly I might as well have been seeing this for the first time as much of this I had no memory of.

It is another case of the production woes being a lot more interesting than the actual film. The script was from the mid 80's but was rewritten by who knows how many people until it reached production. Murphy ended up arguing with the producers and director Ron Underwood; Eddie ended up using some of his own money to pay for shooting to continue; well, an editor came in and realized that there needed to be lengthy reshoots, which happened (and Underwood had nothing to do with approving of the finished product as a lot of it was not shot by him)... but Eddie eventually lost interest. It then sat on the shelf for 2 years until it was dumped and became one of the biggest flops of all time, as the protracted shooting schedule cost at least $100 million, which even now is ridiculous for what is allegedly a comedy.

The finished product is an absolute mess; the titular Pluto Nash owns a successful nightclub on the moon in 2087 but Rex Crater (yes, that's a real name also) wants to own it as part of his plot to have gambling all over the area. Nash and Rosario Dawson are on the run from the goons that wish to kill them; oh wait, there's also Bruno, played by Randy Quaid. Lord, I felt as bad for him here as I do in recent years due to all the mental health issues he and his spouse suffer from. He's an android who is bald, has painted-on eyebrows, speaks in a synthetic voice, wears a suit that is supposed to look like metal, and usually has a doofy expression on his face. You can see why I felt sympathy for him.

The plot is totally forgettable; a bunch of nonsense happens that is not really worth recapping. Characters that you think may be important later just vanish with no further mention of them, and there are some lengthy exposition dumps. The movie also has a bizarre understanding of what cloning is & how it works. Just judging by what's on screen, giving this only 1 star may be a little harsh. Yet look at all the talent they wasted: besides all the names mentioned already, there's Joey Pants (as me and others like to call him), Jay Mohr, Illeana Douglas, Luis Guzman, Peter Boyle, Burt Young, John Cleese, James Rebhorn, Miguel A. Nunez Jr., and even Alec Baldwin in what amounts to an unbilled cameo. All those people involved and you couldn't come up with anything more entertaining?

While the effects look piss-poor, the actual look of “Little America” (what the colony on the moon is called) isn't bad; I wouldn't mind actually visiting it if I could. The movie did not really NEED to be set in a futuristic science fiction world, to be honest; I have no idea if the original script was ever worthwhile but what was presented: usually not funny. Sure, I laugh now that there was references to both Hillary (on $10,000 bills) and Trump (he even has real estate on the moon) and there are references to better science fiction films I'd rather watch again instead-the same goes for briefly seeing footage from Angels With Dirty Faces-and honestly, people shouldn't watch Pluto Nash even once.

Oh, and the opening of the movie is a harbinger of things to come as there is a TERRIBLE cover of Blue Moon, which made me want to watch An American Werewolf in London to hear the song done right; also, there's a crappy version of Dancin' in the Moonlight but worst of all was that Earth Wind & Fire (!) did a song for the movie; I say that as EW&F is awesome and are far better than this dreck. Besides, the song is far from all the tremendous 70's classics they created.

Beverly Hills Cop

Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

Runtime: 105 minutes

Directed by: Martin Brest

Starring: Eddie Murphy, John Ashton, Judge Reinhold, Lisa Eilbacher, Steven Berkoff

From: Paramount

This film isn't great... yet it's still pretty good: 

Here is another example of a movie I've seen a few times before (including as a kid) yet the last viewing was long ago. I figured now was the time for me to see again a film that was a massive hit in the '80's. It is not something I love yet I can say this is pretty good.

A lot of it is due to the charm of Eddie Murphy. I mean, the story isn't too terribly complex nor is the villain's scheme all that inventive. There is not a lot of action and what you do see won't blow you away. Much of the entertainment is seeing Axel Foley be a streetwise cop from Detroit have to interact in a strange place (for him) like Beverly Hills, where the law is strait-laced and by the book... OF COURSE his presence causes some of those police officers to change.

Some parts of the film have not aged too well-the main thing being Bronson Pinchot's small role as Serge, a blatant flaming gay stereotype-yet I still do enjoy the movie overall. It is simply fun seeing Foley use his gift of gab to his advantage, e.g. impersonating a federal agent at a warehouse or staying at a fancy hotel with no reservation. In addition, as I've said plenty of times before I prefer the older music and this soundtrack is tremendous. Such songs as Glenn Frey's The Heat is On, Neutron Dance from The Pointer Sisters and Patti LaBelle's Stir it Up are pretty rad, and Harold Faltermeyer's Axel F became legendary... not so much when Crazy Frog covered it, but the original is astounding.

Thankfully I still think the movie is a slick-enough watch and there are enough laughs and the supporting characters were usually interesting (especially the cop partners Taggart and Rosewood) to where I can say this is pretty good.

Woody Woodpecker

Woody Woodpecker (2017)

Runtime: 84 minutes

Directed by: Alex Zamm

Starring: Timothy Omundson, Thalia Ayala, Eric Bauza, Graham Verchere, Jordana Largy

From: Universal

Yes, this is a real movie and no, you should never watch it; track down the classic cartoons instead: 

Until recently, I had no idea that Universal released a live action Woody Woodpecker featuring a CG title character; the fact that most people got it DTV instead of theatrically did say a lot to me beforehand about the quality (or lack thereof) and some mutuals had some scathing reviews. Yet I still felt like this had to be viewed; when I was real little, I remember watching some Woody cartoons. I believe a revival TV show was on at the time but I also know my mom rented me at least one VHS tape that I saw. Until (Saturday) night (more on that at the end) I hadn't seen a Woody short in what may have been 30 years.

Truth be told, I am not sure if the people responsible for this movie have ever seen any Woody Woodpecker cartoons ever. The character you see here is not manic or screwball; rather, he comes off as psychotic, a monster that spouts “hip” dialogue, dumb one-liners and even references such things as Tinder! Good lord. As it's a modern feature for kids that is not by Disney, OF COURSE he both burps and farts. He also does such things as blowing up an RV with someone in it. Except for the trademark laugh, no way is this officially Woody Woodpecker. I'd start a #NotMyWoody hashtag, but it'd probably be a bad idea...

Anyhow, the “plot” has a rich buffoon, his attractive Brazilian trophy wife to be (I presume “Pica-Pau” is popular in Brazil, as it was one of the few places to get this in a theatrical release and there was even a Sega Master System game based on Woodpecker which only was released there) and his stereotypical dumb teenage son end up in the woods as buffoon wishes to build a property which he will flip for a profit. Woody does not like this so he causes havoc for the poor people who only wish to build a house, even if it is garish. There are other subplots not worth mentioning, except that there are also poachers and their look/demeanor is “PG versions of Rob Zombie disgusting white trash characters.”

This is just unfunny and not entertaining at all. I don't even know if children will enjoy this crap. As some of the old school cartoons are on Amazon Prime available for streaming (packaged with other cartoons done by Walter Lantz, such as Andy Panda; oh, and this movie has none of the other characters associated with Woody... you won't see Chilly Willy, Andy Panda, Wally Walrus, Buzz Buzzard, etc.) or you could just order DVD's of the OG cartoons, that will be enjoyed more by your children than this cynical creation. By the way, did you know that Universal released cartoon shorts featuring WW until 1972? That was a surprising recent revelation; I can't believe they lasted that long when by that point everyone else stopped making cartoons to show before feature films.

This does not factor into my grading of this but I was glad to see an actual Woody Woodpecker cartoon after the movie was finished; it was 1956's Niagara Fools; Woody tries to go over Niagara Falls in a barrel but a park ranger tries to stop him. Those cartoons aren't legendary like Disney or Looney Tunes but at least they are entertaining, which is far more than I can say about this poor motion picture.

Sunset Boulevard

Sunset Boulevard (1950)

Runtime: 110 minutes

Directed by: Billy Wilder

Starring: William Holden, Gloria Swanson, Erich von Stroheim, Nancy Olson, Fred Clark

From: Paramount

 If you did not realize this is still a classic... I can tell you that it is:

Last night I watched this on Turner Classic Movies, a film which not only by ratings is likely the best film noir of all time, but is a legendary film in general, one that should be seen by all film fans. It's more than just a story of how a poor schlub of a screenwriter named Joe Gillis stumbles upon a faded silent film star of many years ago named Norma Desmond and the toxic relationship that developed between the two as he tries to make it so that she has a (rather improbable) comeback.

This is a pretty dark tale about such topics as greed (ironic that Erich von Stroheim was cast in an important role) and narcissism. While Desmond getting to know Gillis is pretty bad news for Gillis due to her deluded viewpoints and how terribly she treats Joe, you still end up feeling sorry for Norma at times due to how she can't let go of how she was famous long ago before being discarded once “the talkies” began... and there's also the legendary final scene which is note-perfect in making her look like a pathetic figure woefully out of touch with reality. Plus, she has harmed herself in the past.

The movie says a lot about how Hollywood treated its former silent stars once the sound era began; many were indeed booted out. That is why there are a number of people from that era that were here, whether they were cameos like Buster Keaton, an important role for von Stroheim, or a famous director that started out in the era playing himself in Cecil B. DeMille. The cast as a whole does a bang-up job but the decision to cast Gloria Swanson as Desmond... that turned out to be perfect. She was a star at Paramount (the studio that made this film), although Swanson's career of course did not end once the silent era did. It was not only great as symbolism, but her performance was tremendous, totally captivating as she played such a tragic character.

Besides such a complex, thought-provoking story and the performances from the cast, it was expertly directed by Billy Wilder, and like I said this is truly a treasure of cinema, a masterpiece that should be watched by all serious film fans.

Grindhouse

Grindhouse (2007)

Runtime: 191 minutes

Directed by: QT/Robert Rodriguez

Starring: The likes of Rose McGowan, Kurt Russell, Josh Brolin, Jeff Fahey, Zoe Bell and Jordan Ladd

From: Miramax

I am catching up on posting reviews here. Tomorrow I'll post two and then everything will be back on schedule here. I did watch this last Thursday so I could talk about it on Letterboxd on the 11th anniversary of its debut.

As Letterboxd as this has a separate entry from the two films individually and I saw this all at once, onto this page the review goes. I did see this twice before theatrically back in '07; more on that at the very end. I did watch this last night as it was released on April 6 back 11 years ago. To think how different things are now for Tarantino, Robert Rodriguez, the brothers Weinstein, and Rose McGowan. I was able to put that out of my mind as I saw the whole presentation last night. I am not surprised this disappointed at the box office; the premise was just too weird and esoteric for most of America and I know people personally who were all “WTF?” at seeing a woman with a giant gun for a leg in the advertisements.

The fake trailers, they were all amusing in their own ways. Only one of which was turned into a real movie... I wouldn't have minded all of them being actual things by those actual directors. Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu would have been incredible, judging by the 10 seconds we got to see in the Werewolf Women of the SS trailer. Planet Terror, while it's not really a grindhouse movie of old (even if it was obviously inspired by Italian horror, especially Nightmare City) it was a lot of fun as it is SO over the top with its situations and graphic gore. A talented cast definitely helps there.

Death Proof is more controversial, at least when it comes to opinions on its quality. There has always been plenty of debate on whether it is good or not; the biggest argument is which group of girls is the most tolerable, if either even are. I can understand why some would be aggravated by both of them or wishing that they'd shut the F up. I imagine some feel that way for misogynistic reasons but many others aren't sexist and they also feel that way. Me, I prefer the second group but it's up for debate. I admit, QT slavishly making one of those films of old where it's a lot of figurative twiddling of thumbs until the electric moments happen... that definitely would not work for plenty of people in modern times.

Thankfully for Death Proof, Kurt Russell was tremendous as Stuntman Mike; he manages to pull off the drastically different way Mike acts in the film. There are some sweet musical cuts heard, and also, the final act is great between the old school muscle cars, the legit stunts, and the final minute. When I saw the movie at the drive-in, a group of guys were watching it outside their vehicle; when the final minute happens, all of them were loudly cheering and celebrating, which I'll never forget as it's awesome. The first screening for me (late Monday night) I'll never forget either... as some jackasses brought their infant kid! They left after Planet Terror, to further cement their dumbassness.

I wish this could have been more successful at the box office, but that's alright; at least I can still enjoy the movie and how the whole package makes it a very good three hours and helps mask the flaws that both flicks have.

Jackie Brown

Jackie Brown (1997)

Runtime: 154 minutes

Directed by: QT

Starring: The Great Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Forster, Robert De Niro, Bridget Fonda

From: Miramax

Before last night, I had only seen this once (many years ago) and I was “meh” about it. I now realize how mistaken I was. The second viewing was at the Florida Film Festival, an annual event I've talked about before. This screening was unique as there in person was PAM GRIER. After the movie she spoke for more than an hour; she did not sling any dirt or bury anyone she used to work with. Instead she spoke about her career and also gave advice to aspiring actors; it was nice getting to see that lovely lady in person and hear what she had to say... from living a rural life in Colorado (as she grew up in rural Colorado) to dealing with the likes of Richard Pryor and one night, a drunken John Lennon.

As for the movie, I now fully appreciate this tale of how the title character tries to get out of a sticky jam where she was caught running money from Mexico to California and this involves gun runners, a bail bondsman, and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco & Firearms. The cast is great and Grier was able to deliver among all the talent she worked with. It was also nice seeing her and Robert Forster get major roles in a major movie as they both had many lean years when it came to high profile work; the Sid Haig cameo was pretty great too. The main cast all did a swell job but the way that De Niro disappeared into his role as a guy who just got out of prison for bank robbery... and it was right to question how that buffoon character could even successfully rob a bank.

I have never read the Elmore Leonard story Rum Punch that this was based on but QT seemed to do a nice job adapting that into a compelling film. All the characters were interesting, including Samuel L. Jackson's (and his hair's) role as Ordell Robbie. Last night's crowd especially loved one interaction where Brown gets one up on Robbie and you can probably guess which moment I am referring to. Naturally, the soundtrack is tremendous and as it's mainly older songs, yep the soundtrack was quite enjoyable to me; The Delfonics especially get a nice nod as their music is a plot point.

What a fool I was for not liking this too much way back when; I can't even fully articulate why I was down on it before. This go-around I was more impressed and the 2 ½ hours flew by; plus, the movie being subdued concerning violence and everything else (at least by Tarantino standards) was fine with me. I do not know if it was the theatrical experience that won me over or not; at least I now have a positive impression of Jackie Brown and the entire evening of the movie plus seeing Pam Grier in person was great.

Cutthroat Island

Cutthroat Island (1995)

Runtime: 124 minutes

Directed by: Renny Harlin

Starring: Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, Frank Langella, Maury Chaykin, Stan Shaw

From: Carolco

Yes this is a film I saw once before... but that was soon after it came out on VHS. This isn't terrible yet it's not great either: 

Rare is it that a film managed to sink at least a decently-sized film studio but this is one of those; Carolco was hurting for awhile and woe is them for hoping beforehand that this would make enough money to save them. Instead it's still one of the worst bombs in Hollywood history. The behind the scenes and production horror stories ended up being far more interesting than the plot that unfurled on screen.

It was originally a Michael Douglas vehicle then when Geena Davis and then-husband Renny Harlin got on board, his part shrank so he left, and there went the one who could have been a worldwide box office draw. There were plenty of other calamities, such as Harlin not being on set right away, so sets were built, only for them to be destroyed once Renny saw them and did not approve. My favorite was how Oliver Reed was originally cast in a small role but he ended up doing Oliver Reed things... meaning he turned into Mr. Hyde after he started drinking, and not only did he get into one of what had to be hundreds of bar fights, but he either threatened to moon or actually did moon Davis, and there went his role in the movie.

Six credited people went into making the story (and I know there had to be at least a few uncredited ones) and that is amusing because the tale is a standard adventure archetype; sure, it's novel because the lead is a female pirate who leads a crew because her dad made that decree, but they try to search for buried treasure and Matthew Modine is the love interest; their relationship you can probably figure out how it progresses without even having seen this.

I feel it's a shame the movie is only average overall, as the score is quite good, Frank Langella naturally does great at chewing up the scenery, the locations they had representing the Caribbean (Malta then Thailand) were lovely, and this should have at least been a fine adventure. After all, it's not like any of the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels are any good... and I appreciate how unlike the Pirates film, this was not based in the supernatural. Unfortunately, the production issues were evident and the two leads were portrayed by actors who weren't the best for the roles, even if Modine actually knew how to fence and did use those skills. At least this wasn't horrid and felt like it was 6 hours long like the third Pirates movie.