Planet Of The Apes (Yes, The 2001 One)

Planet of the Apes (2001)

Runtime: 120 minutes

Directed by: Tim Burton

Starring: Marky Mark, Helena Bonham Carter, Tim Roth, Estella Warren, Paul Giamatti

From: 20th Century Fox

Yes, this infamous film was a first-time watch. I did not think it was unwatchably bad but it's definitely not good either, and now that I know the loathed ending in context... no wonder why most despise it. I talk about this below: 

Yep, yep... I've never seen this film in full until Thursday night. I only had seen the infamous ending, which out of context was rather goofy. Now that I know its context, I understand why most hate it. Perhaps it would have been better if there would have been a sequel that explained what happened, but as is, it looks pretty bad, especially compared to the twist of the original movie, which was like a cherry on top of a sundae as it drove home the important points the movie was making about society in general, a message still relevant today. The Tim Burton movie addressed things on a surface level but this is mostly a typical stupid Hollywood blockbuster, one where they started shooting without a finished script, usually a sign of doom. The ending likely came only for its shock value and I'll surmise the guess that they had no idea how to complete the story if a sequel would have happened. I am now sad there wasn't one... the leaping through hoops to try and make it feasible would have been great.

The first few minutes of this are OK, then Marky Mark goes after a monkey in a spaceship capsule... sure, the monkey takes “smart pills” so that's why a chimpanzee was being tested piloting a capsule, but Mark (OK, his character is named Leo Davidson) is adamant about saving his pal from the electrical storm he flew in. Instead, he ends up on a world ruled by apes, and at least the movie has great makeup effects from the legendary Rick Baker and that world looked pretty cool. He's helped by the ape known as Ari and he has to lead the humans in the fight against the apes, led by the evil General Thade (poor Tim Roth; that character does some rather degrading things). There are other characters... whether simian or not, most are forgettable. Unfortunately for the movie, the most memorable performance is from Paul Giamatti, who had to demean himself by basically being a used car salesman orangutan and it's way over the top and way not appealing or entertaining, so naturally we get plenty of this character.

I realize there's no real good way to say this, but the relationship between Davidson and Ari is rather unsettling. She looks uncomfortably like a human and she has a thing for him. We see far more of those two than Leo and Daena (Estella Warren, a human character... and while I understand she still acts, for all intents and purposes, there's someone who seemingly fell off the face of the Earth), and to be honest, I wonder if Leo and Ari engaged in off-screen romance! I apologize for being gross but that's what I thought the movie was strongly implying.

Anyway, this is a pretty blah film, a typical micro-managed and rushed at the same time soul-less Hollywood blockbuster, something that overall can't compare to the original despite some things I highlighted which were done very well. Heck, there weren't even any of the expected Tim Burton flourishes. At least this movie can be ignored now that the series was rebooted in 2011, and much to my amazement that set of films (the two I've seen and all the overwhelming buzz I've heard about the new one) are better than the typical blockbuster and are pretty awesome. Who knows, if Burton had a better script and he could be himself, maybe this would have been at least alright. As is...