Siren

Siren (2016)

Runtime: 83 minutes

Directed by: Gregg Bishop

Starring: Chase Williamson, Hannah Fierman, Justin Welborn, Hayes Mercure, Michael Aaron Milligan

From: Several low-budget companies

I saw this horror movie last night; it was average, as I'll explain below... by the way, if you ever do see this, you'll understand why it's called “Siren”.

I figured it was about time I saw this; I've seen V/H/S twice before, and the second time was so I could remember Amateur Night, a segment (a rare segment in the whole franchise that wasn't awful) which featured Hannah Fierman as Lily, a character who meets up with three young men in New Orleans and the men are horndog tools and it turns out that Lily... well, the men regret meeting up with her. This movie also features Fierman as Lily, and as I know it will matter to people, unlike the V/H/S movies, this is NOT found footage.

This story has some goofballs getting together for a bachelor party and as the biggest douche of the group said, they should have driven down to Tampa, Florida and visit one of a plethora of strip clubs they have down there (I live in Florida, but I've never been to one of those places... at least not in Tampa...); instead they go to the fictitious Garden City, Georgia, which is not exactly Paradise City... then they meet up with a weird dude, who takes them to a bizarre place in the middle of nowhere, and among other things, they also meet up with Lily.

The movie is not great but at least it's not unwatchable crap, as it very well could have been. The story greatly expands the mythology presented in Amateur Night (thus it's not required viewing before you see this, plus you'll be surprised once this film reveals what Lily is) and a lot is left unexplained-ambiguity is fine but in this case, some of it really needed to be explained as otherwise it came off as contrived-and some of it is really goofy. Oh, and as expected in a low-budget production, some of the CG doesn't look too great. Yet, at least I can say this is average. As in Amateur Night, Fierman did a swell job in her role. There are some real entertaining moments and there is some CG gore too. While I called those guys goofballs, at least they weren't complete asshats like the guys in the V/H/S segment.

In short, if you had to suffer through the first V/H/S but enjoyed Amateur Night, you might as well watch this too as you likely won't think it's bad. As an aside, I'll mention the strangest moment I had in a strip club; I won't name where it was but it was almost 10 years ago. A young lady danced to... MR. ROBOTO. Yes, the whole song, including the long intro. It was as incredible as it sounds.