Cop Out

Cop Out (2010)

Runtime: 107 brutal minutes

Directed by: That hack Kevin Smith

Starring: Bruce Willis, Tracy Morgan, Guillermo Diaz, Ana De La Reguera, Seann William Scott

From: Warner Bros.

I finally saw this movie in full; years ago I only saw the first 15 minutes or so then I shut it off. I gave it a chance and well, the movie is incredibly bad. I explain why below: 

Cripes, this movie... I have more than one story to share about this movie. The second one I'll save until the very end; I'll just say now that it features something which shocks me even today and I can't quite explain. But first things first, way back when, soon after it came out for rental, someone I know rented it so I decided to borrow it for a night. I could only make it about 15 minutes when I turned it off in disgust; what offended me was how unfunny and stupid the movie was. Still, I gave it another chance to see if it became better after the first 15 minutes.

It did not.

This was an agonizing experience the whole way through. Bruce Willis and Tracy Morgan are incredibly inept and irritating police officers. Bruce has money woes and he has to sell a rare baseball card in order to pay for his daughter's wedding, only it gets stolen... and a bunch of nonsense happens after that. The first scene of the movie, it may be one of the worst in cinematic history. I've never been a Tracy Morgan fan; I am sorry he got into that serious accident and he required months of rehab to get well again, but I still don't care for him. The character he plays here... all that screaming and mugging at the camera, it's unbearable. This first scene has him yelling movie lines to a suspect, and it's never amusing and it's way overlong... I am not sure how I made it past that first scene the first time I tried watching this. To my horror, the rest of the movie is almost as bad in how lame and excruciating it was. Truth be told, I did not even laugh once; there were a few mild chuckles but that was it.

I realize that Kevin Smith did not write this but between his directing and editing, he did nothing to redeem the movie either. Everyone has lamented how far his career has fallen so I won't repeat it here. I'll just say that not even Harold Faltermeyer's score was worthwhile; nothing comes close to being as great as Axel F. This movie failed on every level and managed to waste a decent cast too. Honestly, the troubled production and the feud between Smith and Willis is a lot more entertaining than what ended up on screen.

I know some people who actually saw this on the big screen and really enjoyed it; if that isn't astounding enough, their identity will be: my MOM and some of her similarly-aged friends! I swear I am telling the truth here. They saw it at random and the film's start time that night was the main reason they picked this. I have no explanation either, folks. Maybe that's what Smith should have done after this, more bad comedies for old ladies. This is truly the worst buddy cop action comedy I've ever seen and I'll be horrified both if I see another worse genre example, and if this is actually better than Yoga Hosers. I really did hate this pile of elephant dung, if my review did not make that clear enough.