V/H/S Viral

V/H/S: Viral (2014)

Runtime: 81 minutes

Directed by: 5 different guys! This is a horror anthology

Starring: A bunch of low-budget or microbudget actors no one would have heard of before

From: The Collective

I have seen the first two V/H/S movies before; in fact, I saw the first one again a few weeks ago so I could give it a better Letterboxd review. Yeah, those two movies I did not like at the time and still don't like now. Yet maybe I think I rated them too low after seeing this third and final installment of the V/H/S series. It was as bad as I had heard from most other people. I explain why below: 

Recently I watched the first V/H/S again so I could properly review it here. In that review I expressed how I did not like either of those movies (not even the much-heralded Safe Haven segment from the second one) and yet here I am, talking about how I saw this film, the third and (hopefully final) edition of a bad series of horror anthology pictures. Thing is, the first two at least had a segment or two that was at least halfway worthwhile. This, it doesn't even have that. This was a gigantic waste of time with nothing redeeming. Let me talk about the stories:

The wraparound story, known as Vicious Circles: Jesus H. Christ was this horrible. I mean, even worse than the horrible wraparound stories of the first two movies. This really made zero sense and had an asshat protagonist trying to chase after a DEMONIC ICE CREAM TRUCK (actually a 70's van, the type you might see “free candy” on) as it somehow has his girlfriend. As wacky as that sounds, it's no fun, includes filler to pad out the runtime, and it actually becomes moralizing at the end. Just horrid, and not as in the scares you're supposed to get from a horror movie. In addition, an especially bad moment involving a dog was the moment I said, “F*** this!” with V/H/S: Viral.

Dante the Great: Amazing subtlety there with the name Dante... it's nonsense involving a budding magician finding a magical cape. A big problem was that it was not even found footage; some handheld footage doesn't make it found footage when the other parts are either a traditional movie or a mockumentary.

Parallel Monsters: The idea of people in parallel worlds visiting each other sounded interesting on paper. In execution it did not quite work and plus, part of this involves something I presume is straight out of hentai.

Bonestorm: I am a rare person who did not like the directors' film Resolution, so no surprise I did not like this either. It's a bunch of asshat skateboarders dealing with Satanic people in Tijuana. It would have been better with characters you actually like, it being done in a traditional format instead of handheld and GoPro cameras; the latter makes it hard to make out what's going on. Then again, when the CG is as atrocious as it was here... throughout the movie the CG was probably worse than in the Sharknado films, but it was at its nadir here.

Note that I did not see Gorgeous Vortex, the short made for Viral but taken out at the last minute because it wasn't found footage. That's awfully rich considering that Dante the Great wasn't found footage either. Then again, I was glad this rancid pile of feces was short and additionally, Vortex sounds like pretentious twaddle so it's not something I want to track down and watch.

In the future I'll see more of the actual worthwhile horror anthologies from the 21st century, as most of the ones I've seen were not good. In my opinion, all these V/H/S movies were disappointing at best and were missed opportunities, even when it comes to the found footage genre. There's better recent low-budget horror to watch, for sure.

Apocalypse Now

Apocalypse Now (1979)

Runtime: The original version is 153 minutes long. The version on Amazon Streaming is a few minutes shorter as it does not have end credits. The Redux version is 202 minutes long.

Directed by: Francis Ford Coppola

Starring: Martin Sheen, Frederic Forest, Albert Hall, Marlon Brando, Robert Duvall

From: Omni Zoetrope

I've seen this movie before, albeit years ago. Due to reasons I explained below, this was a good time to see both the original and the Redux version. I talk about both below: 

Two important details before I start the review:

Yes, the impetus behind me finally seeing this movie again after many years was the news that came out of nowhere concerning how at this moment, on Kickstarter is a fund to help fund a videogame based on this film; that was something I never expected, let alone one involving some top videogame talent.

Thursday night I watched the theatrical version; I took a break on Friday and Saturday night I saw Apocalypse Now Redux; as there isn't a separate page for that, I'll be talking about both here.

I can't quite explain why but I've put off watching this film again. I mean, I hadn't seen it in many years, so shame on me for not getting around to it sooner. I know that after seeing both versions, this is a movie I appreciate more now than in the past. I presume everyone is familiar with the plot of how in 1969 Vietnam during the Vietnam War, Captain Willard has to go on a boat to Cambodia for Colonel Kurtz, who has gone rogue. So I won't dwell on that, nor how this was heavily based on Joseph Conrad's old novel Heart of Darkness, which many people probably read in high school like I did.

I will talk about the opening scene in particular. It is perfect in establishing the film. The mix of The End by The Doors, the jungle in flames, the blades of the ceiling fan being like the blades on a helicopter, Martin Sheen hot and sweaty in a Saigon apartment, artifacts strewn about, him being haunted by the war, him drunkenly punching a mirror (which was actually legit, as Sheen was drunk at the time; he had a problem with alcohol during this period).. it's excellent and prepares you for what is to come. The movie is a long surreal journey up the river to meet Mr. Kurtz, and along the way Willard meets strange characters, who have something in common.

There are many themes present in the film, but the one I'll bring up is how war changes everyone. There are a wide variety of different personalities that you see Willard run across, but all of them share the common bond that the war either has already changed them or it will change them during the course of the movie. It's not just Kurtz who has gone crazy due to all the time in the jungle. Regrettably, some of the people who worked on the film suffered a bitter irony of also being negatively changed by the experience of working on this movie. The excellent documentary Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse (which I will see again soon so I can give it a review) gives all the gory details but notably, Martin Sheen suffered a heart attack and almost died, and I am not surprised that Francis Ford Coppola has never directed a movie of this caliber again.

As for the Redux movie that added 49 minutes of footage, some of the additions were interesting but others were really better left on the cutting room floor. I am looking at all the time spent on the French Plantation, which was quite long and did not make the movie any better. I'd rate it a little less than 5 stars. Both probably should be seen so you can judge for yourself but I say that the original is a masterpiece... despite (or maybe sometimes because) the incredibly difficult shoot, an outstanding movie was made that combined great performances, an excellent score from the director's father Carmine, Francis himself and Craig Huxley, cinematography by Vittorio Storaro that may be the best of all time... all this and other factors came together to see a movie that is a must-see and is more than just iconic moments and phrases.

Tinker Taylor Soldier Spy

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

Runtime: 127 minutes

Directed by: Tomas Alfredson

Starring: Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hardy, John Hurt (RIP)

From: StudioCanal

While the reason I finally saw this was unfortunate, I am also glad I watched the film; I won't mention it here but in the future I'll see it again, as it's one of those motion picture. I explain why below: 

Before last night I wasn't expecting to watch this movie on Netflix Instant; regrettably I finally saw this due to John Hurt passing away. While the role he had in this was not large, I at least am able here to give my regards to him and all the things I've seen him in, whether or not I have them logged on Letterboxd. This is something I should have seen much sooner than last night... between the star-studded cast, the low-key plot about spy business being a 180 from the Bond movies but I was still intrigued... that and the director Tomas Alfredson being the guy who gave us one of my favorites in Let the Right One In... shame on me.

This is definitely a British take on the spy genre; things are measured and to use a cliché, “stiff British upper lip” really applies here. It's a layered nuanced movie which is probably best seen more than once, as things aren't spoon-fed to you. When I do see it again in the future, I likely won't log it here but on first watch it is still pretty rewarding. The plot is early 70's United Kingdom, and MI6 has a problem: a mole tied to the Soviet Union is pretty high up in the ranks, and ex-agent Gary Oldman needs to do a clandestine operation where he and some others need to try and weed out this person; along the way they come across some real characters and the task becomes that more difficult.

As I stated already, it has quite the cast: Hurt, Oldman, Benedict Cumberbatch-w/ great moptop haircut-Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds, Tom Hardy, Toby Jones... there is talent all around and they all do a nice job, especially Oldman. While not flashy, the story always held my interest as I tried to figure out what was going on and who to trust. It is a movie you have to pay attention to; it's not something you can just have in the background. To me, the journey is pretty rewarding.

I have never read the novel by John Le Carre that this is based on, nor the 1979 BBC miniseries that starred Alec Guinness. Maybe one day I'll see the latter. For now, I can say that if you want to see something smart which is not dumbed down for “the rubes” and presents many great subtle moments, please check this out. A movie where how two people deal with a housefly says a lot about them & their personalities... that's the kind of deft touch you get to experience throughout.

An Update

This month, I have seen a few movies again for Letterboxd; those weren't reviewed again here on this page, and thus that is why during January, sometimes I've not posted here for a few days at a time. Wednesday night I saw Spaceballs. Thursday night I rewatched one version of a movie and Saturday night I'll see the other version; both will be reviewed come Sunday. Tonight, I unfortunately has to be a John Hurt movie because of the fact that he passed away today. RIP to him.

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Alan Myerson

Starring: The usual Police Academy cast, plus Matt McCoy and Rene Auberjonois

From: Warner Bros.

It's been awhile since I've seen one of these. It's not great but I still think this one was watchable. The sixth and seventh ones... from what I remember those will be painful, but I'll review them in the (possibly distant) future. For now, some brief thoughts about this movie, as there isn't too much to say about it:

I hadn't seen a Police Academy movie since last June. It wasn't that I wanted to prolong seeing this... it was more like me not wanting to go through the franchise too fast... and being incredibly wary of 6 and 7, which I did not even like as a kid, which is why I only saw them once each, many years ago. While this was the first time that Steve Guttenberg was not part of the series, I can still say this is average. At least Matt McCoy was OK as the obvious stand-in.

The plot revolves around the whole crew going to Miami Beach, as Commandant Lassard is being honored with an award, although he also has to retire due to old age. Via circumstances straight out of a sitcom, he ends up with the wrong luggage and that's bad, as that luggage contains stolen diamonds, so the buffoon crooks want them back. The movie is exactly what you expect from all the main characters, from Proctor being as dimwitted as ever to Hightower displaying his great height and strength, Hooks speaking real soft until she yells real loud, people ogling at Callahan's large breasts, etc. The same goes for the plot and various events that typically happen in these movies.

It's all very silly and juvenile. Yet despite how dumb it is, I still found it to be watchable and thus, it gets an average rating. I laughed at some of the humor and the action stuff you see is not bad. It's a movie where a gun-nut cop that wears a Dirty Harry t-shirt pulls a gun on a shark approaching a beach... and the shark swims away. There's not a whole lot else you can say about such a motion picture, so I won't.

xXx: Return of Xander Cage

xXx: Return of Xander Cage (2017)

43% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of 89 reviews)

Runtime: 107 minutes

Directed by: D.J. Caruso

Starring: Vin Diesel, Donnie Yen, Deepika Padukone, Kris Wu, Ruby Rose

From: Plenty of different companies

I saw this movie Sunday afternoon, and I was surprised at how much I enjoyed it. Find out why below:

When 2017 began, I did not set a date in my calendar to see this motion picture extravaganza; after all, I hadn't seen the first two movies in the series. However, when people went wild for this movie and said things that were appealing to me, I figured it'd be worth a shot to finally catch up on what may be (depending on how it does overseas; the box office performance in the United States has not been “blockbuster”) a franchise. The first two movies were really stupid and yet despite their faults I could at least rate them average due to unintentional humor and some entertaining action scenes.

Well, if they were going to do something wacky like bring back a movie for its first sequel in almost 12 full years, they might as well “borrow” from the Fast & Furious playbook and how a few movies in it became a gigantic success. Now, two of the production companies are Chinese and I have noted in other reviews that this has become a more common trend with Hollywood movies as of the past few years. Whether or not that should be a thing... that's a huge topic which should be discussed elsewhere, instead of in this review.

For those that love Fast Five and Furious Six, this movie should be very appealing to you. It has an attractive multi-ethnic cast, over the top action scenes, a hogwash plot, lavish locations, a hip vibe, and plenty of comedic moments. This is right in your wheelhouse. The actual plot has to deal with a weapon literally named Pandora's Box-it can disable satellites and cause them to crash to Earth-& various people wish to have it, including Diesel and his squad. That's all you need to know. People everywhere have been posting big spoilers and many details about what happens in the movie. I won't be doing that as there are a few things I wish I did not know about beforehand.

This is the sort of movie where a rather attractive woman (Nina Dobrev) is an expert computer hacker because she wears big nerd glasses. And, there's someone whose main skillset is "being a DJ". It's absurd, yet gleefully so. It's greatly entertaining and while not all of the action is shot the best (a systemic problem all throughout Hollywood, as I've mentioned plenty of times before), the movie is a lot of fun and you shouldn't take it seriously at all. It's cool people doing a lot of cool things, and there are various references that old-school action fans should pick up on and love. As I've said before, I happen to be a mark for entertainment where disparate people get together and use their special skills to overcome the odds. In addition, everyone in the main cast has a chance to shine. Heck, former American football player Tony Gonzalez even has a memorable role.

The movie was a clear number 2 at the domestic box office but I hope it does well overseas, as I would enjoy seeing these characters again in the future. This was escapist entertainment; considering what happened on Friday, January 20th besides this movie being released... I imagine there were plenty of people who wished to have a good time on that day. I say that no matter the day or the occasion, those that love the over the top dopey action bonanza, this is a must-see. I say that Donnie MF'ing Yen is the highlight, but whether or not you agree is up to you.

xXx: State Of The Union

xXx: State of the Union (2005)

Runtime: 101 minutes

Directed by: Lee Tamahori

Starring: Ice Cube, Samuel L. Jackson, Willem Dafoe, Scott Speedman, Xzibit

From: Revolution Studios

You know, this movie isn't great but it isn't horrid like many people say it is... although the CGI in the final act is rather appalling. I talk all about it below: 

Saturday night I watched this movie in full. I had seen bits and pieces of it in the past but Saturday was the first full viewing. I understand that many don't like this movie at all; it certainly is not a globe-trotting adventure like the first film nor is it in your face about being XTREME. That is OK with me as I was fine with this being what studio execs would probably call “an urban action movie.”

The plot: The crazy MF'er known as Ice Cube is the new xXx agent and he has to deal with some people related to his past, who happen to be plotting an insidious plot involving the President of the United States; insert your own topical jokes if you so desire. I can say that this movie is just as dopey as the first one and is filled with wacky implausible moments. While not something I wish to see again anytime soon at least it was watchable and I did not regret checking this out. I was reasonably entertained so no complaints about the movie as a whole, aside from it being average by my grade.

However, the final act... it uses a lot of CG to bring the scenario to life. That is a problem when the CG is really terrible; I mean, especially in 2017 it looks so fake and saying it's something from a PS3 game is probably being too generous. At least it made me laugh uproariously, even though that definitely was not the intent of director Lee Tamahori. By the way, I imagine that he wishes he never would have accepted the job of directing Die Another Day, as that ruined his career. He had to pay penitence for that job-although I don't place all the blame on him for how that turned out-by directing this.

All that said, this movie wasn't painful to watch, Ice Cube was fine in his role, old pros like Samuel L. and Dafoe, and it had some rollickin' action scenes so I can't carp too loudly.

xXx

xXx (2002)

Runtime: 124 minutes

Directed by: Rob Cohen

Starring: Vin Diesel, Asia Argento, Marton Csokas, Samuel L. Jackson, Michael Roof

From: Revolution Studios

Would you believe I had never seen this before I gave it a spin last night? 'Tis true. It was even more hilariously 2002 than I expected. I talked about this nonsense below: 

Or: The Steve Buscemi “How do you do, fellow kids?” meme in movie form.

If I did those popular one sentence reviews here, that would be the one I would use Wow, was it an experience seeing this for the first time in early 2017, 15 years after it was released. “Dated” doesn't even begin to describe this. Then again, I am sure it came across as silly even when it was released in August of 2002. Yet, the new movie in the series has gotten some enthusiastic praise, albeit for how stupid it is. Thus, I figured I should be brave and finally check out a movie I expected to be eye-rolling, and I was not disappointed there.

The plot... who cares, really? It's a bunch of nonsense about how Eurotrash dudes want to destroy the world, pretty much, although them being Russians is unfortunately pretty timely now. Xander Cage is recruited into the NSA as he's so EXTREME as an extreme sports star who is a rebel because he's anti-authority... yes, the movie tries very hard. There's also Asia Argento, who as an actress here... was nice to look at.

The movie has some hilariously over the top and goofy action scenes, I can give it that. The story itself, it's for the birds. I saw the theatrical cut via an Amazon Video rental; I know there's a longer unrated cut out there and maybe that has what appeared to be entire scenes not present in the theatrical version that advanced the plot or connected one point to another. As is, talk about disjointed and confused. It doesn't help that Xander is an asstagonist, a not very likable protagonist. Another problem is having to see Vin Diesel actually act; sometimes it's heinously bad. He sometimes made Argento look like Meryl Streep. But, I can say that the CG was the worst thing of all. I think it was even worse than what we saw in Die Another Day.

Speaking of that movie, they have some uncomfortable parallels, not just the general idea of trying to be “hip” and “cool” for “the kids”. Both are incredibly “of their time” but Die Another Day is worse as it comes across as an old dinosaur and it's more cynical how they are trying to grab a certain market. XXX feels older due to how its shot and all the terrible nu-metal on the soundtrack (I can proudly say that even at the time, I thought most nu-metal was atrocious. Limp Bizkit, no thank you. Having to hear that garbage in the college dorms was no fun. I was thankful when I heard actual good music, like the Stop Making Sense version of Life During Wartime or some Bela Fleck) but at least it has some different and exciting action beats, even if it's surrounded by what is pretty much white noise. Anyhow, it's probably due to movies like XXX that the Bond franchise made such a drastic turn and we have the Daniel Craig films.

Normally I'd hate such a dunderheaded and misguided film where a bunch of old white men in Hollywood (and director Rob Cohen, who was an old white man in his 50's himself at the time) try to grab money from a market they barely comprehend, but as this movie has some entertainment value in the same way that things like 80's Southeast Asian action movies or Miami Connection is entertaining (those movies are a lot more stupid fun, though) I can give this hogwash an average rating. Hopefully Xander Cage returning is more akin to the stupid fun I prefer.

Deepstar Six

Deepstar Six (1989)

Runtime: 99 minutes

Directed by: Sean S. Cunningham

Starring: Greg Evigan, Nancy Everhard, Cindy Pickett, Matt McCoy, Miguel Ferrer (RIP)

From: Carolco

Yes, I saw this due to Mr. Ferrer passing away yesterday. At least this movie is passable. I talk about it below:

RIP Miguel Ferrer. Yes, this was the main reason why I watched this movie last night, hours after I heard he passed away at the too young age of 61 due to cancer. I've known of the movie for years but hadn't thought of watching it before. This is one of a few nautical-themed movies that came out in about a year's span during 1989 and 1990. Discounting Abyss, the rest were low-budget and the rest weren't well-received, although personally I am fond of Leviathan, even if it's incredibly derivative.

The plot of this involves an experimental U.S. Navy facility which also has some nuclear warheads about to be installed. Various stock characters inhabit the facility, and not all of them act professional. This includes sexual harassment. Then again, this is an outfit where in one scene, a woman is obviously not wearing a bra... anyhow, they encounter a large sea creature and due to contrivances, they have a difficult time against it.

This movie, is pretty stupid. Some incredibly dumb things happen, especially one moment that happens where the crew can't leave. How the person responsible did not realize what they were doing, I still don't understand. That said, I did not think this was an awful movie; someone I know who isn't a Letterboxd member said a few years ago that this movie was “a piece of crap”, in so many words. To me that's too strong. While this definitely was “inspired” by Alien and isn't entirely original either, it could have been far worse.

While this isn't great I can say that at least it was average. I can't complain about the miniatures, the score from Harry Manfredini that was different from what he did with all those Friday the 13th movies, the general plot aside from the dopiness, nor the cast; there are either familiar names or “that guy” sort of people. Besides Ferrer there's Greg Evigan, Cindy Pickett, and Nia Peeples. Plus, it was provocative seeing a character having a mental breakdown and them deteriorating as the plot progresses.

For the horror fans, there are some gory moments and the monster certainly is interesting, although compared to the deep sea creatures that were captured by that Russian fisherman Roman Fedortsov and whose photos went viral around this time last month... while much smaller than in the movie, those real life critters are more bizarre, as if they escaped from the mind of H.R. Giger. Anyhow, I was glad this movie from Sean S. Cunningham was watchable, although I was disappointed that the character who looked just like Hugo Stiglitz wasn't actually played by the famed Mexican actor.

The 14 Amazons

The 14 Amazons (1972)

Runtime: 117 minutes

Directed by: Kang Cheng, Shao-Yung Tung

Starring: Ivy Ling Po, Lisa Lu, Lily Ho, Yueh Hua, Chen Yen-Yen

From: Shaw Brothers

Monday night I watched Alien again; it's still an excellent movie, whether it's the original movie or the Director's Cut. Last night I watched this for the first time, as it's been too long since I've seen something from the Shaw Brothers. Well, I saw a pretty good one here. All the details are below: 

As it's been since late August that I last saw a Shaw Brothers movie, I figured it was about darn time I saw another one. This is one of the free offerings that are available for free on Amazon if you have Prime, so that is what I streamed last night. I had heard of the movie before so that is why I selected it in particular. Now, this is a dubbed version and and judging by the odd opening involving a narrator delivering a big info dump, at least the beginning is cut. Alas... I am still glad I saw this.

The film is based on old Chinese folklore; a group of women in a clan seek revenge on the enemy army that killed their General-along with other soldiers-that left only a single male heir left (more on him later). Due to a corrupt A-hole, the Emperor's army being borrowed was out of the question, so they have to scrounge together a ragtag group of people to help them out, basically.

One odd thing, which I am glad I heard about before I started watching... that male heir is played by... Lily Ho. Yes, a woman. The character was supposed to be under 18 years of age so I guess that's why they did it, but Ms. Ho otherwise dressed and looked like a female, complete with pigtails; it was pretty odd. But nevermind that... the movie is a lot of fun. It is larger in scale than the typical Shaw Brothers movie, so plenty of their regular players appear. The action scenes are also big in scope; in a typical Shaw Brothers joint, they usually quality stuff with plenty of moving parts. Here, they are even larger than usual and involving such things as fire and rope bridges. The film certainly isn't afraid to abuse the women and even have them bleed.

I had a real good time watching this movie and appreciated that among the wackiness and elaborate setpieces, there was some nice military strategy too. While it's not as well-known now as the more famous movies from the legendary studio, this film is more than just a distaff gimmick, I thought it brought the goods.

Sleepless

Sleepless (2017)

11% on Rotten Tomatoes (out of a whopping 19 reviews)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: Baran Bo Odar

Starring: Jamie Foxx, Michelle Monaghan, Dermot Mulroney, Scoot McNairy, Gabrielle Union

From: Open Road

I got to see this yesterday; it was in the Orlando area and I made it a double-shot with a revival screening of Aliens, as it's one of my favorites and for years I've been anxiously awaiting to see that theatrically. The experience was awesome. Sleepless... not so much. I explain why below: 

Yesterday I was at a cineplex and I saw a pair of movies. The second one was a revival screening of Aliens; I've given it a nice review before so I'll just say that it's one of my personal favorites and I've been wanting to see it theatrically for years, so I wasn't going to turn down this opportunity. The first movie was this one. It may not even be common knowledge around these parts but it's a remake of a 2011 French movie called Sleepless Night, which I had seen beforehand as someone on a messageboard I frequent LOVES that film. I don't swoon over it like he does, but it is a pretty entertaining picture which-while ridiculous-is fun and has quality action scenes. I say it's well worth renting from Amazon Video if you are able to and you are an action fan.

The plot: it revolves around dirty cops and one of them is Jamie Foxx, who makes a big mistake and the result of that is that his teenage son is kidnapped and he has to go to a Las Vegas casino to exchange something in order to get him back... but Michelle Monaghan is part of Internal Affairs and she has her eyes on him so it quickly becomes complicated. Now, while this isn't awful and I am sure it's better (at least quality-wise; I am not sure about the unintentional humor factor) than dreck like Monster Trucks or The Bye Bye Man... Sleepless Night (while preposterous on its own) did it a lot better. That goes for such things as the action scenes and how they're shot-both have the camera shake around too much and yet it was done better in the original-the characters and the plot. I don't remember Sleepless Night having such telegraphed "good guys are actually evil" moments. To steal a phrase from a random Letterboxd user, the score seemed like leftovers from Sicario; it was fine but not exactly revolutionary.

There are talented actors in this movie (besides the names mentioned), such as Gabrielle Union, Scoot McNairy, Dermot Mulroney, and David Harbour; they all deserve better than this generic nonsense which isn't even great as a B-movie. As I did not have high expectations going in and heard beforehand from reliable people that this wasn't even good, I was not let down. Then again I expected this to be a typical American remake of a worthwhile foreign movie, meaning that the remake would be lackluster, as many of them are. Even with some gleefully stupid moments and random wanton violence, this movie isn't pulse-pounding excitement (although it's not so dreadfully dull that its title becomes bitterly ironic) and if you feel like you MUST watch this, wait until it becomes a rental, and the original should be seen first.

The Autopsy Of Jane Doe

The Autopsy of Jane Doe (2016)

Runtime: 86 minutes

Directed by: Andre Ovredal

Starring: Emile Hirsch, Brian Cox, Ophelia Lovibond, Michael McElhatton, Olwen Catherine Kelly

From: Several UK companies

This is a horror film that's gotten a lot of praise as of late, so I rented it last night. I say it is worthy of the attention. I explain why below: 

I feel it's important to start off this review with a warning: if you decide to rent the film from Amazon, try your best not to read the plot description they have provided for the film. Regrettably, it's a situation where it reveals too much about the movie. What a rotten thing to do for all the people who haven't seen the motion picture yet, which will be “most people.”

On Letterboxd and elsewhere I saw a lot of praise for this picture. I figured it was worth spending a few extra bucks to rent it and stream it right away. Thankfully this was a good decision on my part. As I've seen said elsewhere, various low-budget horror films of the past 5 or so years are relegated to VOD and yet (apparently) atrocious “masterpieces” like Incarnate and The Bye Bye Man get wide releases... what a shame. I imagine horror would have a better reputation if it was the other way around.

I know better and unlike Amazon I'll be vague in the plot description and won't let any big plot points slip: Brian Cox and Emile Hirsch are not only father and son, but both are coroners. They receive a Jane Doe for autopsy; Jane and John Doe are the official designations by law enforcement for suspects or corpses which at the time have an unknown identity. Odd things start to happen as they do the autopsy, and I'll leave it at that.

I can say that I never wanted to be a coroner; it's not the type of job for me. Cutting open corpses like that, no thank you. I am glad that the actual autopsy stuff was to the point and did not revel in being over the top gross. Cox and Hirsch made for a nice team. Aside from the good performances, they were a nice father and son who weren't cliché; they had their disagreements but it wasn't the “I hate you, dad!” or overdramtic silliness you get too often in movies. In addition, I should mention that Olwen Catherine Kelly does a swell job as the corpse Jane Doe. That is not a backhanded compliment, by the way.


I saw director Andre Ovredal's previous movie Trollhunter and that was an enjoyable found footage movie. This is definitely different. The setting is naturally creepy as it is and with what happens, it becomes pretty terrifying. There are effective scares throughout, even though it is a tale of two different halves and I understand those who did not like the second half as much, what the source of everything is, or the ending. I am not sure myself if the movie quite stuck the landing as well as it should have. Even if it didn't, I still say that this is worthy of having the attention of all horror fans, and they should at least give it a shot. By all accounts, this deserves people's attention more than laughable dreck like The Bye Bye Man does.

Jason Lives: Friday the 13th: Part 6

Jason Lives: Friday the 13th: Part 6 (1986)

Runtime: 86 minutes

Directed by: Tom McLoughlin

Starring: Thom Mathews, Jennifer Cooke, David Kagen, Kerry Noonan, Renee Jones

From: Paramount

It's been a few years since I had reviewed a Jason movie for this page; I spent last year revisiting the first five movies for Letterboxd and this was the perfect time for me to finally seeing this installment; it's been a long time. As you'll read below, this is among the best in the franchise if not the best:

What better movie to talk about on Friday the 13th than one with Jason Voorhees; I rewatched the first five last year and the fifth movie was seen by me late last August so this was the perfect time to get that started again. I hadn't seen this in a long time and shame on me as this is a pretty entertaining film.

We all know this is where “Zombie Jason” began and this is the third & final appearance of the Tommy Jarvis character. Tommy and Horshack from Welcome Back, Kotter accidentally revive Jason a la Frankenstein's monster (i.e. lightning) and Jason heads back to Camp Crystal Lake, while Jarvis unsuccessfully tries to convince Sheriff Michael Garris (a nice reference for the horror fans) of what's about to happen.

The movie is nicely directed by Tom McLoughlin and an asset is how this installment has more humor than usual. It's not always hilarious and some of it is odd (this is the only media that has both a Jean-Paul Sartre reference and the word “farthead”) but it is a step above the comedy we usually get in the franchise. It is self-referential without being overly annoying about it, which I feel is a problem in too many movies these days. You know what sort of movie this is after seeing the opening titles, which actually rip off the James Bond opening titles. It is cool that there aren't too many camp counselors we have to follow so there's a good balance between following them & the kids at camp and the storyline where Tommy and the sheriff's daughter Megan tries to stop Jason.

I do have to mention that “the disbelieving adult” trope in movies isn't one of my favorite by any means. More often than not it's dumb and lazy. Here, I had little problem with it. I was glad that Sheriff Michael Garris wasn't cartoony evil or a buffoon. I probably would also have trouble believing a psychologically damaged Tommy Jarvis if out of nowhere he proclaims that a dead murderer is suddenly alive again; it's easy to understand how Tommy would look like he finally snapped from what he saw Vorhees do years ago. Sure, the sheriff is an overprotective father and a bit of a hothead but otherwise... I was glad he was not a crappy caricature like we got too often in the horror genre.

Anyway, there are memorable kills (if not exactly the best in the franchise), the score from Harry Manfredini was typically solid, and there are some bitchin' Alice Cooper songs... the movie's a lot of fun and if it's not the best in the series it's one of the best.

Days of Heaven

Days of Heaven (1978)

Runtime: 94 minutes

Directed by: Terrence Malick

Starring: Richard Gere, Brook Adams, Sam Shephard, Linda Manz, Robert J. Wilkie

From: Paramount

I don't love this movie like many do; however, I am glad I saw it. Read why below:

I saw this movie late last night on Turner Classic Movies; I actually had never seen this before and I figured it would be a wise idea to see an HD version of it. I was definitely correct there. As everyone else has remarked, the cinematography is beautiful. Filming a lot of it after the sun set but before it became dark gave it a unique look; both Nestor Almendros and Haskell Wexler did an excellent job with that. I have no idea who filmed what but I certainly feel bad for Almendros... during filming he suffered the brutally ironic curse of starting to lose his sight; having to use Polaroid photos and a magnifying glass to try and compose shots... wow.

As for the plot, I can see how there was a lot of improvisation going on and how things were so disjointed from a difficult shoot that Malick had to use the narration from the Linda character to try and tie things together. Linda Manz (the Anna Kendrick of her generation), I otherwise have no complaints about her performance, except that she uses a rather strange accent; if it's supposed to be “a Chicago accent”, I can say as someone who grew up in the northern part of Illinois, I never heard anyone sound like her. As she's also the narrator... it wasn't a deal-breaker to me. I just thought it was odd, that's all. Anyhow, the story of how a guy, his young sister, and his girlfriend end up in Texas in the years before World War I and how a scheme to marry a sick rich man so his money can be inherited goes awry... while things are kept at arm's length, I was never bored and was always engaged.

The film doesn't exactly have a smooth narrative and the narration doesn't always fix that, yet the movie manages to be compelling nonetheless. I don't love the movie like many do (I'll presume that those people love it because of its flaws and how the story is told in a different way) but I can still give it high marks.The difficulty of this production is likely why Malick didn't make anything else until 1998; I can't explain why he only now became prolific late in life, but Lord knows he's not the only talented director to be at least a little weird.


Anyhow, this movie should be watched by everyone due to its visuals (and also quite good musical score from Morricone), and you can make up your own mind concerning the story's effectiveness. I can say that the use of locusts here was better and more terrifying than in Exorcist II: The Heretic...

The Green Slime

The Green Slime (1968)

Runtime: 90 minutes

Directed by: Kinji Fukasaku

Starring: Robert Horton, Richard Jaeckel, Luciana Paluzzi, Bud Widom, Robert Dunham

From: Both MGM and Toei

While I had seen some clips of the movie before, me finishing watching this minutes ago when it played on Turner Classic Movies was the first time I had ever viewed it from beginning to end. Oh, I should clarify that for years now I've known of the AWESOME theme song, from Richard Delvecchio. Hearing that groovy tune in the movie certainly made me happy.

The plot: to quote a fellow Letterboxd user, the first act of this is basically the plot of Armageddon. Thankfully, this movie is far better than that pile of crap Michael Bay picture. It could also be argued that this was an inspiration for Alien, which is definitely far better than this film. Anyhow, some astronauts blow up an asteroid because it's headed straight to Earth. The astronauts unknowingly bring back the titular green slime to a space station; soon, there are plenty of one-eyed tentacle monsters running around, although thankfully this doesn't turn into a hentai...

The movie overall is pretty goofy yet I found it pretty charming. I enjoyed its kitschy 60's sci-fi stylings, along with all the miniatures; it allowed me to put up with the cliché “astronauts feuding with each other” storyline; after all, the story overall isn't terribly original, and it also has 60's sexism involving the lovely Luciana Paluzzi. When it's people dressed in goofy suits running about which dispense electricity, I won't take things too seriously.

To think that this is a co-production between MGM and Toei, with a (mainly) Japanese director and crew and filmed in Japan but otherwise it's all American... plus the director being Kinji Fukasaku (who went on to such things as co-director of Tora, Tora, Tora, various Battles Without Honor and Humanity movies, and of course the beloved Battle Royale), all of it is a real trip, and that's why I found it to be enjoyable despite all its faults.

In The Mood For Love

In the Mood for Love (Faa Yeung Nin Wa) (2000)

Runtime: 98 minutes

Directed by: Wong Kar-Wai

Starring: Maggie Cheung, Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, Siu Ping Lam, Rebecca Pan, Lai Chen

From: Several different Chinese companies

Yep, I finally saw a beloved movie, and it does deserve its high reputation. See why by reading below:

I realize this may be shocking on a site like Letterboxd, but not only had I never seen this movie before I watched it real late last night on Turner Classic Movies, this was my first Wong Kar-Wai period. As I've heard so many strong things about this motion picture, it seemed like something I should see.

A serious reserved drama set in early 1960's Hong Kong where a man and woman (both leading monotonous lives) meet and befriend each other and they realize they share another, more unfortunate connection with each other...... it doesn't sound like something typically in my wheelhouse (and it isn't) but it's greatly compelling the entire time-nuanced the whole way-and with deft skill from Kar-Wai, you're always interested in seeing how Chow and Su get to know each other through plenty of short but succinct scenes. You feel bad for them when they realize the unfortunate situation they are both in, and you wonder what the relationship between those two will evolve to.

To reveal much more about the plot would be criminal so I'll leave it there. I'll just say that it's a beautiful movie in every way which has so many subtleties, it is something I'll revisit in the future for sure. The important thing is wondering how things would be if they were only slightly different, or if you arrived somewhere just minutes earlier. I certainly have wondered about such things throughout the years. Maggie Cheung and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai, both were outstanding in those lead roles. Cheung was more than just a lovely figure which wore a bunch of dresses (usually colorful) although she was striking in those outfits.


It's a haunting movie about how a pair of characters react and manage a tragic situation for them and thankfully it's not the cliché nonsense you'd get in most movies and instead it's something more mature. This is definitely a motion picture best experienced in person rather than me trying to describe it; watching it for yourself you can understand its magnificence and why me giving it the highest possible rating is not an overreaction on my part.

Easy Come, Easy Go

Easy Come, Easy Go (1967)

Runtime: 95 minutes

Directed by: John Rich

Starring: Elvis, Dodie Marshall, Pat Priest, Pat Harrington, Jr., Frank McHugh

From: Paramount

The 8th was the birthday of Elvis, so watching a movie of his around this time was the natural thing to do. It was not great but I managed to be entertained nonetheless. See why below: 

It's been about 6 months since I've last seen an Elvis movie. I thought that Speedway was pretty aggravating so I decided to keep a break from that scene. However, today is the birthday of Elvis Presley, so what better thing to do last night than see one of his flicks last night so the review would go up today? This isn't the best movie that The King did but it certainly did give me some things to talk about.

The plot: Elvis is a frogman (i.e. a member of the Armed Forces who does scuba diving as part of the job) in the Navy who discovers what appears to be buried treasure. Once he's out of the Navy, he has a hell of a time trying to dive again due to circumstances. It's contrived and a goofy sitcom plot but boy are there some odd elements. I mean, the movie being a total square and making fun of such things as yoga (yes, really), “beatniks” and performance artists isn't the half of it. I imagine that Mr. Presley himself was seen as a “square” in 1967 and maybe not even the '68 Comeback Special could erase that from the mind of some youths.

Regrettably, Elvis does not do what I call KING-FU (his version of the martial arts) but at least he gets into a brawl with a real heel who is one of the obstacles to getting that treasure. There isn't too much else to say about the threadbare plot but at least I was able to laugh at a few things:

* The Captain Jack character. He's an old dude who acts like a sea captain... but he's afraid of water and he only played the part for a kids TV show. He comes off as a dottering old fool, to be honest.

* Elvis not only attempts to do yoga, he sings about it too! His duet with poor Elsa Lanchester known as Yoga Is As Yoga Does was likely the nadir of the careers for both. The songs in general are only acceptable, and that is you're being generous.

* My personal favorite highlight: Elvis has a nightclub owning pal known as Judd. Now, he plays the trumpet, knows some things about the sea... and while not outright said, is a pimp! How else am I suppose to interpret the scene early on where Elvis and a few Navy pals come into his club and Judd brings out a wheel for the men to spin which contains pictures of more than a dozen girls (w/ their measurements helpfully displayed on the pictures) and wherever the wheel lands, the dude gets the girl? Nevermind the gross sexism of it all, Judd is a pimp!

Overall, not the best Elvis movie I've seen but I've definitely ones that are worse/not as amusing to watch.

Princess Mononoke

Princess Mononoke (Mononoke-Hime) (1997)

Runtime: 134 minutes

Directed by: Hayao Miyazaki

Starring: A bunch of Japanese voice actors

From: Studio Ghibli

I saw this movie last night in a theatre and I am glad I got to see this for the first time in such a fashion. The movie is a classic, and not just of animated movies, but of all movies. I wax poetic about it below: 

Last month I had the opportunity to see Spirited Away on the big screen. I had the controversial opinion that it was not a movie I warmed up to. I was hoping things would be different when I watched this last night on the big screen, on the day that happened to be Miyazaki's 76th birthday. Well, people can put away their pitchforks and torches, as this is an excellent movie.

I thankfully went into this not knowing anything about the plot. I'll try to be vague here for those not familiar with this movie. We have a young hero (Ashitaka) who is cursed after a battle with a demon. He needs to go West to try and find a cure. From there he runs into a bunch of memorable and awesome characters, both human and otherwise. The story is mature and the characters aren't black and white; all are layered and you can understand all their viewpoints, whether or not you agree with them. In addition, what you may think early on, your opinion could flip-flop.

It's a story set in feudal Japan so you get such things as samurai, beautiful forests... and some graphic things that you expect to see in other samurai movies. This is definitely more violent than a typical Studio Ghibli picture. But alongside the typical feudal Japan stuff is various mystical creatures. Various themes are present (such as being anti-war and pro-environment) but they aren't hammered home in an obnoxious overbearing manner.

This is a magnificent movie that is not just a great animated picture; it's a great picture period. I understand the dubbed version has its issues with the voice cast but at least I got to see it subbed and that version can easily be watched. Watching this theatrically with the spectacular images in your face and the incredible score from Joe Hisaishi made this a great experience. This is something that I should watch multiple times in order to fully appreciate all its subtleties, but I say everyone should see this at least once.

Riot On 42nd Street

Riot on 42nd Street (1987)

Runtime: 89 mnutes

Directed by: Tim Kincaid

Starring: John Hayden, Kate Collins, Michael Speero, Frances Raines, Jeff Fahey!

From: Several no-budget companies

Yesterday I saw a pair of movies. One was legitimately great; this was not it. Yet it is entertaining in a bad sort of way, a la Miami Connection. I try to explain why below: 

This was a movie reviewed by a mutual earlier in the week. I had never heard of it, but I certainly knew of the director (Tim Kincaid) and his other movies. No, not the hardcore gay pornography he's done for much of the career, but rather the few mainstream things he's done, such as... Robot Holocaust and Breeders. Yes, an illustrious filmography. I have to clarify right away that the rating is due to sheer entertainment value. At times I see awesomely bad things (you know, like Miami Connection) and sometimes I give them high ratings for that reason. Well, if you love things like Miami Connection, this is a must-watch.

The plot: Vietnam vet-but of course-Glen Barnes (w/ incredible full mustache) gets out of jail on a manslaughter charge and he opens up his old club on 42nd Street in New York City. Note that this is still NYC before it was cleaned up in the 90's, so seeing the neighborhood and how bad it was provided plenty of laughs for me. Anyhow, a rival club owner (Farrell) tries to stop this in over the top ways, and Barnes is out for revenge.

Here are some highlights:

* 42nd Street was smut-filled (grindhouse joints, X-rated theatres and legit places all right by each other; I laughed at seeing which movies were playing at which places. The people there may be awful but I'd love to see the double-bill of Vampire Hookers then Dolemite).

* People randomly rollerskate.

* A guy who looks exactly like mid 1970's Burt Young asks for a free handjob from a hooker. She responds in an appropriate way.

* Two punk rockers are randomly seen; one of them acts like he's strung out on heroin, or maybe it wasn't an act...

* We see a place called THE SUPER-FLY BOUTIQUE but never go in it. For shame.

* The soundtrack... always amazing. It's solid gold 1980's.

* The film has some names of note in the cast. Kate Collins, she is mainly known for once acting on the soap opera All My Children... and being the daughter of Apollo 11 astronaut Michael Collins. No kidding. 70's martial artist Ron Van Clief briefly appears... as himself. But everyone will laugh when I say that a supporting role is played by JEFF FAHEY, and this is after Psycho III! It's not a big or important role for him.

* This movie, it has about as much sleaze as you'd expect from a porno director, meaning “a lot”. After all, the club that Barnes reopens features illegal gambling and women cavorting around on stage naked. Farrell's clubs also have naked women strutting around on a stage-in front of men who look like total degenerates-along with peep rooms... and he forces his girls into prostitution, basically.

* The movie is pretty inept: Not only is Van Clief only seen for one scene (always shot from a wide angle talking to someone, and he's never identified by name. What a wasted cameo), a scene is literally out of order! We see someone escape then two minutes later we see how they escape.

Technically this is pretty bad-there are plenty of moments I did not reveal here-yet I was so entertained by everything, I had a good time. Between the music, the at times terrible acting, the few moments of graphic gore, and them delivering on the promise of a riot (even if some of the participants are children!), this will be a hell of an experience for certain film fans.

The Big House

The Big House (1930)

Runtime: 87 minutes

Directed by: George W. Hill

Starring: Chester Morris, Robert Montgomery, Wallace Beery, Lewis Stone, Leila Hyams

From: MGM

Here is an obscure prison movie that I say is well worth seeing for those in the genre... if you can catch it on TV or order the Warner Archive DVD, that is. I'll talk about it below: 

As I sometimes do, I watch a random movie on Turner Classic Movies that is otherwise difficult to track down. This one is part of the deal they are doing this month (January, 2017) where each Tuesday they'll show some prison movies. This one sounded interesting as it was one of the earliest examples of its type and I recognized a few of its stars from other films I had seen, such as Wallace Beery, Robert Montgomery and Lewis Stone. I am not sure how many prison movies I'll see this month, but at least I will have seen one.

The plot: Robert Montgomery is sent to prison; he not only got arrested for DUI, he killed someone. That'll typically result in a conviction... unless you're a celebrity... anyhow, even back then overcrowded jails was a thing and Montgomery discovers that the slammer is a very rough place to be, especially for a “nice guy” like him. Various compelling things happen and as this is a Pre-Code movie, it means that things are hard-hitting and the rough edges aren't muted for the censors.

While it's not the most realistic look at prison and how things are done (in 1930, were prison meals so neat and orderly?), the general themes are still understandable and relevant to today. Cigarettes are a big thing, prisoners wish to leave and ask their lawyers to try and get an early release, the convicts hate the food, and yeah, to try and get time shaved off their sentence, they'll drop the dime on their “pals” and give information to the prison wardens.

The movie's always entertaining, it's shot quite well on expansive sets with plenty of extras and the main characters are memorable because the actors do a swell job bringing them to live. The final act, it ends up being explosive and quite exciting, with a lot going on; I'll just say that action fans should enjoy it. Everyone that enjoys the prison genre of cinema, this should not be ignored because of obscurity.

Blade Runner

Blade Runner (1982)

Runtime: 117 minutes

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Starring: Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Sean Young, Edward James Olmos, Daryl Hannah

From: Warner Bros... and The Ladd Company and even Sir Run Run Shaw

Yes, I have seen this a few times before but the last viewing was from even before I started this blog, meaning "years ago". I am glad I finally saw this again. I explain why it's a classic below:

It needs to be said right away but the version of the movie I saw last night was 2007's The Final Cut, which Ridley Scott said is the definitive version of the film. Back even before I was a teenager I had seen the Director's Cut and I was too young and not well-versed in film to fully appreciate it. Even seeing the International Theatrical Release as a young adult was not enough for me; it was not until I saw The Final Cut on the big screen that I realized the movie's greatness. Yet I hadn't seen it since then. As the sequel is coming out in October (who knows for certain if it is worthy of being connected with this movie; while the talent involved is of high quality, I have a sinking feeling that like with the original, the studio will interfere somehow and foul things up), I figured it was about time I gave this a spin and reviewed it for the site.

As everyone should know the plot about hardboiled cop Deckard going after some androids known as Replicants who are raising hell in 2019 Los Angeles, so I won't dwell on that. I will instead message that even know it's a smog-choked world where it rains all the time, I'd love to live in that world. It's colorful, has an awesome aesthetic, the Japanese control everything (not too far a stretch from how things are now) and it'd mean that Atari, RCA and Pan Am Airlines are around and still big deals...

I am surprised that the movie was not loved at first. It's a moody and introspective piece which is not a slam-bang action film but rather is a neo-noir science fiction piece that takes its time telling its story about what it means to be human. Since viewings I became more familiar with the film noir genre so I now better appreciate that aspect of the movie. Also last night I was able to skim through the International Theatrical Release and I heard the Deckard narration. While that's a definite noir nod, the narration was not only not good, but it overly explained things and really dumbed down the movie for “the rubes”.

The story is compelling (although it's mood and atmosphere that is stressed the most) and the entire cast does a swell job. It certainly is the finest hour of Sean Young and also Brion James. The ambiguity of it all has to be noted; ever since it came out it has been hotly debated: is Deckard a Replicant? There's evidence which suggests either and when the star and filmmakers don't have a definitive answer, it's up to the viewer to decide. Considering that Harrison Ford is in Blade Runner 2049... but there are a number of possible explanations for that. I just hope that the sequel isn't overly explanatory or simplified for “modern audiences”.

The movie still looks great today, it's hauntingly beautiful, the villains are chilling (especially Rutger Hauer as Roy Batty) and Rachael is a different type of love interest. But to me a key aspect of the movie is the amazing score from Vangelis. It's the appropriate type of futuristic ethereal and considering that for the past few years the synthwave movement has been going strong as a cult thing and it not only cops the look of this movie but Vangelis's score is like the grandfather to the entire movement... it was appropriate for the movie.

It was a movie that almost did not happen (the original financial backers left at the last minute, so several different groups and Sir Run Run Shaw had to provide the dough) and people did not get it at first; through the passage of time, it has shown that even today it's incredibly influential and is filled with unforgettable moments, including Batty's “Tears in the Rain” speech) so even if it takes a few viewings for you, this is a must-see film. Even if the sequel does not live up to its promise, that won't diminish this picture.

Manos: The Hand Of Fate

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Runtime: A long agonizing 70 minutes

Directed by: Harold P. Warren

Starring: Harold P. Warren, Tom Neyman (RIP), John Reynolds, Diane Adelson, Jacky Neyman Jones

From: Sun City Films

This is in fact something I've seen before, both MST3K and in its original form; what a horrible movie this is. I talk all about it below: 

Lord, what a “the first movie of 2017” this is for me.

Of course I have seen the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode which lifted this from the pits of hell that rest all the low-fi movies from the past that are probably comparable in quality to this and made it one of the worst movies ever made that has some renown and has been seen by enough people. Hell, this is not the first time I had seen the original movie without Joel and the Bots. But I imagine it will be the last time.

I imagine many are familiar with how the movie came about: Harold P. Warren was an insurance salesman in El Paso, Texas and also sold fertilizer. He was a bit player on the TV show Route 66, where he met famed screenwriter Sterling Silliphant. Warren thought that movie-making was easy and he could do it himself. He made a bet with Sterling and while he technically won because he made something that got released, he discovered how difficult is is to make any sort of motion picture.

The plot revolves around a couple, a little girl and their small dog who are on vacation and they end up stuck at a weird lodge which is populated by some very weird people; turns out, it's a cult led by The Master (Tom Neyman, who just passed away less than 2 months ago) who has multiple wives... I imagine many have seen the MST3K episode-which is the ideal way to see this, really-and know how putrid it is between the performances, the editing, and overall filmmaking; all the sound was done in post-production and “continuity” is a foreign term. I know all these people tried their hardest with what little they had but that said, this is still horrendously bad and a long 70 minutes filled with random non sequitur moments, long scenes of driving, and overall ineptitude.

In recent years various people have tried to make sequels and even a prequel to this but it hasn't happened. I wouldn't mind a remake myself; maybe if done competently the general story could make for an alright watch. It may be nice for the Warren family as well. As is, at least this isn't the most excruciating movie I have ever seen or one that inspired the most anger; yet, because of sheer incompetency I still have to give it the lowest possible rating.