Road To Revenge

Road to Revenge (1993)

Runtime: 89 minutes

Directed by: John De Hart

Starring: John De Hart, Wings Hauser, William Smith, Pamela Jean Bryant

From: Monarch Enterprises

I have finally returned and thanks to Letterboxd I was alerted to a film that'd be better known if someone like the Alamo Drafthouse showed it and it received a lot of attention (a la Miami Connection) but as is, shows that you can still find bad filmmaking gold out there. The Letterboxd review is below and I'll return tomorrow night.

I realize that as of late I haven't really been watching movies. I've just been preoccupied with other things. But, now my schedule is more clear and I should be able to do them more often than I have the past two or so weeks. What better way to do this than watch some obscure movie I hadn't even heard of until someone I follow here reviewed it last week and gave it a glowing review... he loved it but compared it to The Room!

Yes, this is one of those “so awful it's hilarious” films, a la Miami Connection or Birdemic. I then skimmed through the movie and between that and finding out the character name for WINGS HAUSER was HUCK FINNEY, I knew I had to watch it as soon as I could. Believe me, the rating is due solely to entertainment value and not on a technical critical scale.

To sum it up, this was the passion project of some random guy named John De Hart, a dude that looks about 50 years old and with his mustache comes across as a high school shop teacher, even though he's apparently a lawyer in real life. Yet he's our hero, an ex-cop/country music singer/”martial arts master” who hangs out with his buddy Huck Finney as they do battle with their former co-worker, an ex cop turned judge (William Smith, as of course he'd be in a film like this) and the following takes place:

Plenty of bare breasts
Country music, most of it quite bad; hearing the same few songs over and over got old pretty quickly
A coven and devil worshipping! Yes, the judge does this, along with some drug dealing on the side
Sleaze
Some acting that's about the level of what you expect to find in a porno
Random quoting of Shakespeare
Several incredibly bad jokes
Hilarious fashion choices
Gross sex scenes with the old star and a much younger blonde; of course the star would have himself dating and making out with the former Playmate known as Pamela Jean Bryant
And so much more that I won't ruin here

The movie is indeed amazingly inept. I won't break down all the ways this is so but many basic errors and missteps are seen and heard. The story is threadbare and laughably goofy. The auteur known as John De Hart has the karate skills, acting acumen and charisma of a kumquat, but what's worse is the musical number you see him perform early on. His stage presence is even worse and more awkward than that of Lana Del Rey! It's like he was threatened with death if he didn't perform, it's astounding.

William Smith is a great veteran so he does the best that he can, literally growling his lines. But it is Wings Hauser who is the real highlight. His character is that of a loose cannon who loves drinking and acting crazy. Not to besmirch his name but I wonder if he was drunk for the entire duration this was filmed. It would describe his over the top performance and all the wacky things he does.

At least I can give credit to the movie for not only using the term “guttersnipe” but also have its opening credits song be the version of Who Do You Love by The Doors. The tune is great in general and I dig the version that Jim Morrison sang in concert, several versions of which can be found on various albums. After the film was over, I was wishing I could have heard more Doors songs rather than the crap we got sonically!