Cold Steel

Cold Steel (1987)

Runtime: 91 minutes

Directed by: Dorothy Ann Puzo (yes, her father IS Mario Puzo)

Starring: Brad Davis, Jonathan Banks, Sharon Stone, Adam Ant

From: Cinetel Films

Here's a random movie I found out about from a few people on a messageboard. It was a "so bad it's good" sort of thing. Once again much of this review is from Letterboxd but I've expanded upon it. It's another movie I discovered online, nevermind how or where.

Directed by a woman, this thriller with action elements is about a loose cannon cop (Brad Davis) who is looking for revenge after an old friend turned enemy (Jonathan Banks) kills his dad. Loose Cannon doesn't seem that devastated by pops dying, but alas...

Oh, and due to a nasty throat injury Banks-known as ICEMAN-speaks with a talkbox voice as if he's Ned from South Park, to steal a phrase. Iceman's partner... Adam Ant! There's also Sharon Stone as-shock of shocks-a femme fatale. And, there's the real-life Popeye Doyle (Eddie Egan) as a lieutenant.

I don't want to make fun of someone who had AIDS at the time and likely got it due to his drug use, but Davis did not look well in the film. He looked old and strung out, to be honest. It's unfortunate, as he got acclaim as the lead of Midnight Express. However, he (as a bisexual) decided to take some homosexual roles and with how times were back then... that and his drug problem definitely had a negative impact on his career.

The movie is pretty bad... in a way you can enjoy laughing at. I'll list some bullet points:

* There's a wacky speeding cop car scene which starts off the picture & it involves jumping over a train, for what proves to be silly reasons, not to mention being a possible danger to the public.

* Iceman and Adam Ant have a rather homoerotic relationship. But, there are also homoerotic relationships with other characters.

* Phrases such as "C'mon, squirt!" and "I'm so horny, I'd f*** a toad!" are uttered. The former is more innocuous than it sounds.

* The partner of Brad Davis is only known as COOKIE and vending machines give him problems. He shoots one with a .45 with a silencer to get sodas!

* The soundtrack is mostly either 80's ballads, smokey sax for the scenes of romance between Davis and Stone, or songs that describe what you see on the screen.

* There's also a car chase that happens in the middle of the film and it looks like something straight out of Hal Needham with all the wackiness that happens, including cars destroying buildings and other structures on a local racecourse and vehicles that explode for no reason.

* Someone's killed with a poisonous fish.

* The finale is rather goofy, to say the least. A mask is used for a special effect and it doesn't look good.

There's definitely more but I don't want to give everything away. I have no idea how those people found this movie... if you can find it and you enjoy laughing at wacky/silly/sh*tty 80's films, then you might as well watch it, as I did enjoy seeing this after having heard about it months ago.

I will return tomorrow night.