I, Blair Russell, will review/talk about a wide variety of movies, whether they be in the theatres or on tape/DVD/whatever. My tastes will be varied so hopefully you'll end up enjoying the huge mix of flicks that will eventually be discussed here.
No,
it's not an important announcement. It is just something related to
Letterboxd, the site I am a member of and you can view my profile
here. As of late, various members of that site did a “30 movies in
30 days” deal where they watched by their own choosing (not
everyone watched the same movies) 30 different foreign films, rated
them, then talked about them. That seemed like a good idea so in June
I'll mainly (if not entirely) watch foreign movies, but not 30 of
them. Who knows how many I'll watch but it'll be a variety of
countries, I do know that.
Earlier
in the week I rewatched a movie that I hadn't seen since I watched it
on the big screen in March of '11. It was Drive Angry, which I reviewed here. When I saw it,
I really enjoyed it despite how I noted at the time that various
things did not make a whole lot of sense. This time while watching
it, I still enjoyed it but not as much. The movie trying SO hard to
be a cult classic was grating at times and when I saw it in 3D I must
not have noted the quality of the special effects; in 2D, wow do many
of the special effects (the CGI) look atrocious. I mean, I was
shocked by how bad it was. But like I said I still like the movie
overall, for the reasons I mentioned in the original review. I still
enjoyed Heard's character and how the relationship turned out between
The Accountant and Milton.
Starring:
Amy Steel, John Furey, Kirsten Baker, Stuart Charno, Lauren-Marie
Taylor
From:
Paramount
I
was thinking about watching something of high regard today, due to it
being Memorial Day and all. But then I changed my mind and decided to
watch a pair of cheesy but fun movies that I've watched both when I
was a youngster and as an adult. The films are low-budget and goofy,
but most of these Friday the 13th movies are great
entertainment.
You
know the plot of the first one... in the late 50's a young mongoloid
named Jason Voorhees drowns in a lake at Camp Crystal Lake (or so was
thought) as the people who were supposed to watch him were having sex
instead, and the next year a pair of counselors are killed. After
some more oddities happen at the camp, it is closed down until 1980,
when it is reopened. Several people are killed and it turns out... it
is Jason's mom Pamela Voorhees, who has gone crazy ever since the
accident happened.
I
agree that the movie is slow at times, but otherwise it is still
entertaining to watch, and to think that this little effort launched a big franchise and made a big hulking dude who ended up wearing a hockey mask into a popular pop culture figure. It is amusing to see some of the characters
act rather horny (and I don't think any of the ladies at camp were
wearing bras) and do things like smoke some pot, and lol to Kevin
Bacon being in this. There are some wacky and cool minor characters,
like DORF the strait-laced cop who appears in one scene, Sally the
old waitress, and Enos the truck driver. Bing Crosby's son Harry
appears in this, and well, the popular story is that in real life old
Bing was a mean old drunk who treated his kids poorly. That's
unfortunate.
The
final battle between Alice (King) and Ms. Voorhees (Palmer) was what
I'd call “realistically awkward” but it ended greatly and the
gore effects by Tom Savini were great; I saw the unrated version for
the first time and it only has some more footage for a few of the
deaths, but it is still nice to see those deaths in their original
format. If only they could do the same for the rest of the series
(the MPAA really raked the sequels over the coals) but I understand
that if the cut footage survives, it's in horrid quality and can't be
fixed to include it in any unrated cuts of the sequels. A shame.
I
then watched the sequel, where 5 years later (and that time
difference messes up the timeline for the series; I've seen several
different timelines for when the movies actually take place) a camp
near Camp Crystal Lake opens, and turns out that Jason never died and
he's lived in the woods since then. He saw his mom get killed so that
caused him to put on a sack over his head and start killing people at
that camp.
I
say that this film isn't as strong as the first one, but it's still
entertaining. You have some quality kills and a bunch of horny
teenagers, their horniess being quite amusing. My favorite bits were
Mark (the dude in the wheelchair) being asked by Vickie (a cute
brunette) if it's just his legs that are paralyzed (see what I mean
about them being hormonal?) and when she goes to her room to get
ready for sex, she sprays cologne on her body... including her
vagina! There were some pretty ladies in the cast, I say.
I
do have to say that the long opening prologue brings up a number of
questions as to how Alice was discovered, but it's hilarious that
after the kill, you see the teakettle taken off the stove, as if
Jason decided to have some tea!
And in real life, I have a sad tale
to tell about Marta Kober, who played Sandra. She seemed to vanish
for years and a few years ago she reappeared and went to a few horror
conventions and besides the fact that the past 25 or so years hadn't
been kind to her, unless she put on an elaborate act just for her own
amusement, she is dealing with mental health issues; in interviews
she made really bizarre and nonsensical comments and it was just sad
as she obviously wasn't right in the head. No matter the specific
mental problem, it is unfortunate and while I haven't heard anything
from her since those horror conventions, I hope she has gotten help
for those issues.
Starring:
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, The Rock, Luke Evans
From:
Universal
Yesterday,
I finally got to see the movie, and it was a special occasion as I
made the long drive up to Jacksonville, as that's where the hosts of
the BMFCast podcast live and they were having a big get-together with
everyone who wanted to watch this film with them, as they all loved
Fast Five and they wanted more of the same. Including me there was a
little more than a dozen people. It was at the city's Cinemark
theatre; it wasn't their biggest screen but still, it was a pretty
damn big screen. I wish that they had more people working the concession stand but I am getting off-topic. Anyhow, onto the non-spoiler thoughts.
The
plot: After the events of the past film everyone went their own
separate ways and living the good life, but it just wasn't the same
as they were all on the run and all. Hobbs (The Rock) finds Dom
Toretto (Diesel) and says that there's Owen Shaw (Evans), a bad bad
dude who has a heist gang of his own and he's looking to acquire a
vicious bit of technology and in short, it could really cripple an
entire country if it falls into the wrong hands. Hobbs wants the gang
to come back together and stop the bad guys, and Toretto is enticed
as it's discovered that his old girlfriend Letty (Michelle Rodriguez)
is now working for Shaw's crew. So off they go to London and
elsewhere.
I
thought that the last one had a whole lot of preposterous and
hilariously implausible (if not impossible) actions and events. This
film has that, only to a higher degree. No exaggeration. Me and the
people around me couldn't help but laugh at the most ridiculous
stuff, as you can't believe it. Yet, it's still awesome, as it's
thrilling to watch and it's pretty awesome. What happens in the
climax was full of incredible moments, but don't think too much about
it too much in terms of logic.
The
story doesn't always make sense and there are plotholes, but when the
action is this incredible (there are some great setpieces), who
cares? I don't always think that way, but when you see the movie with
a rowdy (in a good way) crowd, it's a tremendous experience as there
are many things that would cause various reactions, from happiness to
sadness, joy to anger, and all the rest. Who am I to carp about the
story or the acting? What an astounding climax, too. Oh, and more
than one element from Fast & Furious (the 4th one) are
mentioned in this one, but it's mostly explained for those that don't
remember the 4th one.
Basically,
if you loved Fast Five you'll love this; while it's definitely
different from the 5th installment, it still has a lot of
excitement and gleefully over the top action and situations, so I do
give it a recommendation for series fans. Stay after the credits
begin, as pretty quickly you get to see a short bit that sets up the
7th movie (coming out summer '14) and for sure it'll get
the series fans to lose their mind and get their engines revved for
the next installment.
Starring:
Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil “No Relation To Ben” Affleck,
Keith Knight
From:
Paramount
I
figured it was time to go through the big pile of DVD's I have and
watch something from there tonight. I went with this film, as I've
seen the remake a few times and even talked about it last year. Now,
here's my chance to talk about the original, a slice of
Canuxploitation from Canada that has a fervent fan base and in a rare
move for me, I have to praise Lionsgate for pulling the strings and
convincing Paramount to have them release an unrated version rather
than the R-rated version that was rated during one of the times that
the MPAA cracked down on the horror genre. Sure, it's obvious when
watching the unrrated version what the cut material was as the print
for those scenes are of obviously poorer quality, but it's better
than nothing and it's nice that a more true version could finally be
seen by that fervent fanbase.
The
plot isn't too dissimilar to the remake: In 1960, there's a
Valentine's Day dance (an annual tradition) in the fictious town of
Valentine Bluff, Nova Scotia. On that day, there was an accident in
the mine that killed four people (due to the error of two men who
left too early to go to the dance) and once Harry Warden was dug out
of there... well, he was in bad mental shape, as you see him eat the
dead people to survive. The next year he got revenge by killing the
two guys who made that error; he also cut out their heart and left
the message that there should never be another Valentine's Day dance,
or else he'll keep on killing. The dance was cancelled and Harry was
committed. Suddenly, in 1980 you see a bunch of young miners and
their ladies (some of them real asstagonists; there's also a love
triangle involving a dude returning to town; here, he's the son of
the mayor) as the dance is brought back... only for the killings to
start again and Harry to be found missing from the insane asylum. Is
he the one doing the killings?
Like
I said, there are some asstagonists you get to spend time with. The
last film this director did before MBV was Pinball Summer, a movie I
saw and reviewed last year after a podcast did a scathing review for
it, mainly because they hated the A-hole protagonists and called them
asstagonists, a term I have gleefully used ever since. And yes,
several people from Pinball Summer have small roles in this movie.
Sure, those guys in this film are annoying but eventually I was able
to put up with their goofball immature ways and I was able to laugh
at how dopey and silly they acted, and their love for Schlitz and
Moosehead beer; you see plenty of advertising for the latter.
Overall,
this is a pretty fun slasher. It's always an interesting story and
there's a real mystery as to who is doing the killing. There are some
fun characters, such as Hap, the bartender who is like Crazy Ralph
from Friday the 13th; you know, “You're all doomed”,
warning the kids of trouble, and all that. I also have to note that
Axel looks like Not Aaron Eckhart and I have to give props to Hollis,
who looks like Not John Candy with a giant mustache and a “Kiss My
(Donkey)” hat. And yes, I enjoy the kills. You get to see in the
unrated version... they are pretty nasty and gruesome. So, you'll
likely enjoy the kills too if you are a slasher fan. The intentional
and unintentional laughs help balance out all the horror stuff,
making this quite a bit of fun for me.
I'll
be back Sunday afternoon, where I'll talk about what I hope is the
glory and majesty of Fast & Furious 6.
Starring:
Steve Bond, Dona Spier, Hope Marie Carlton, Harold Diamond, Roberta
Vasquez
From:
Malibu Bay Films
Yes,
after more than 5 months, I've finally watched another Andy Sidaris
film; I've been doing it in chronological order and this was right
after the infamous and hilarious Hard Ticket to Hawaii. From what
I've heard, after that one the rest of these wacky silly movies that
Sidaris did just weren't the same.
The
plot... double agent Picasso Trigger (named after a fish; really, the
Lagoon Triggerfish is sometimes known as that, as its look makes it
appear to be painted by Picasso himself; there's also a painting of
the fish and it's part of the plot) is gunned down by Miguel Ortiz, a
bad guy. To make a long story short it involves Ortiz's brother being
dead so understandably Ortiz is pissed and he (along with some other
people) guns down those who he felt responsible for his brother's
death, mainly being those in “The Agency” (the group of people
represented in Hard Ticket to Hawaii and Malibu Express). The Agency
gets together and they go after those bad guys. That includes a
cousin of the Abilene boys you saw in the first two movies, and like with them, his shooting is so bad he couldn't hit the broad side of a barn.
It's
more convoluted than that but by the middle you'll figure it out...
not that the plots in these goofball films really ever matter. I
thought it was strange that in the first half of the movie you only
see one pair of bare breasts but soon thereafter in the 5 minute
section where several different couples make out and bump uglies (and
also you see more after that), suddenly you see pair after pair after
pair... it does take time to get going; the second half is for sure
better than the first. You get plenty of explosions, for sure.
So
yeah this isn't as great as the last film old Andy did-like I said
already-but it's still entertaining if you're willing to watch such
programming. There's wacky 80's music, fashion (one guy always has on
a shirt that is almost completely unbuttoned), and aside from the
boobs there's such plot elements as a sex/slave trading ring and
weapons like a shotgun crutch and motorized toys that blow up, such
as cars and an airplane. I also laugh that one of the good guy agents
is an attractive Hispanic lady known as PANTERA and an older guy in
the agency apparently has the code name UNCLE LONG DONG. Tremendous.
Oh,
and there's a fight between two buff bad guys and a girl/guy combo
where the bad guys do pro wrestling moves on the dude, including the
Boston Crab and the old Hart Foundation Hart Attack finisher.
Seriously. I marked out. Like I said, the second half definitely is
better; it's more action-packed and wacky, at least. I'll be back
tomorrow night.
Starring:
Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez
From:
Universal
Finally,
I am caught up on what I've watched as of late. It hasn't been
movie-watching time the past few nights, so that is why I am caught
up. It was my first time watching this film, one that apparently
people don't like... as if the rest of the moveis in this series are
high works of art or are beloved by everyone.
The
plot is that Dom Toretto (Diesel) and the rest of the gang return as
he and Brian O'Conner (Walker) are both looking for the same big-time
heroin dealer who operates along the Mexico border in California and
in fact uses drivers to smuggle drugs via an underground tunnel;
O'Conner is looking for him because he's now an FBI agent; I know, I
know. Dom is looking for him as his girlfriend Letty (Rodriguez) is
said to be killed while working for the drug dealer. I say it's not a
spoiler as hey, you know from the advertising for the 6th
one that an important plot point is Letty returning. You never do see
her dead body in the 4th one, so that would explain it...
although that sort of ruins the motivation for Toretto, in hindsight.
It
seems like that this gets a mixed reaction, with many saying it's the
worst of the series. I disagree. Sure, it pales in comparsion to Fast
Five, but many films in the action genre do, to be perfectly honest.
I say that this is comparable overall to the first one, which means
it's fine enough for me and an entertaining time. The band being back
together is nice, and there being high stakes due to an important
character (apparently) dying is important in adding drama. And, the
action and the driving scenes are all nice and fun to watch. So that
was enough for me to enjoy it and I did not think it was a waste of
time or anything of that sort; I didn't need to see it when it came
out but I did not hate watching it in 2013.
Also,
I did not mind seeing Gal Galdot! She first appeared here and since
then she's been a part of the series. I usually don't prefer
model-thin ladies but looks-wise I think she is quite attractive.
That is what I thought in Fast Five and it was nice to see her debut
here.
Starring:
Paul Walker, Tyrese, Eva Mendes, Cole Hauser
From:
Universal
On
this random Saturday night where I'm also watching a free UFC event
at the same time (it's been average overall), I figured I should
combine the first two movies in this franchise into one entry. I
still haven't watched Tokyo Drift yet, but as it has little to do
with the rest of the series, that'll be viewed sometime in the
distant future, probably. It should be noted by me that I've never
thought highly of the car culture presented in the franchise... you
know, stupid lame-ass modding of your car, illegal dangerous street
racing-which has killed innocent bystanders-having your car use NOS,
and all that nonsense. I've always thought it was extraordinarilly
stupid, to be honest.
Still,
I always thought that the first movie was entertaining-enough. Sure,
it's easy to poke fun of but it's fine. It's a standard old hot rod
tale of a cop, Brian O'Connor (Walker) going undercover into that
culture to try and find out who is heisting trucks with modded cars.
He doesn't want to believe but turns out it's the group of people led
by Dom Toretto (Diesel); the fact that Brian has fallen in love with
Dom's sister Mia (Brewster) complicates things. A rival Asian gang
led by Johnny Tran (Yune) is also involved.
Like
I said, I always thought this was fine. All the driving is fine to
watch and aside from the whole hijacking and illegal racing thing,
Dom and his crew really are not THAT bad... as long as you're able to
at least tolerate the culture depicted here, then this is inoffensive
entertainment. I never imagined back then that the series would still
be going on and it would lead to something like Fast Five.
I
also saw 2 Fast 2 Furious back in the day, and I never really cared
for it. The plot is that Brian O'Connor is now an ex-cop and on the
run for letting Dom go instead of arresting him. He ends up in Miami
and he has to help the feds on a case to bring down a drug lord; this
is all done via a simple drug shipment with a pair of automobiles.
Monica Fuentes (Mendes) also works for the feds and has been
undercover for the past year. Brian enlists the help of his old
frienemy Roman Pearce (Tyrese).
Even
now, this movie was eh for me. There are some fun moments but
everything just seems slight and inconsequential. There are plenty of
stupid moments, too, and usually in a bad way; I don't even want to
get started on the scene with the rat, an upside down bucket on Mark
Boone Junior's stomach, and a blowtorch. There's plenty of CGI and a
lot of it... not so hot 10 years later. I don't know what to make of
the incredibly homoerotic relationship between Brian and Roman. Roman
takes his shirt off when he's around Brian for no real reason, and he
disapproves of the budding relationship brewing with Brian and
Monica. He does not like it... is it because he wants Brian for
himself? That's fine with me, homosexuality and all that; I just
imagine that wasn't what the filmmakers were going for.
I
know that some like this film; it's not for me. Maybe the title being
so goofy is a sign as to its quality. I'll be back Monday night.
I
have seen this classic spoof movie before but the last time I saw it
in full was years ago, and on Wednesday night before I went to see
the Star Trek doubleheader; that is why I went to Cinemark in Orlando
rather than any other place that had the double header; for the past
few Wednesdays they've been showing older movies on the big screen,
like Raging Bull and Alien, the latter of which I saw on the big
screen a few years ago. This upcoming Wednesday, Cleopatra. I've
never seen that before but it's 4 hours long! I doubt I'll be
checking it out. I've heard about the massive problems with that film
and that may be more interesting than the actual film itself.
Anyhow,
you should know the plot to this already, as I hope that most people
have seen this, but in short... a corrupt politician (Korman) gets
the inept governor (Brooks) to appoint the African-American Bart
(Little) to be the sheriff to Rock Ridge in the hope to get all the
citizens to leave as it would be cheaper for him to do it that way.
Turns out, after some hesitation they end up liking him and his pal
The Waco Kid (Wilder).
I've
always enjoyed this movie, even as a kid (yes, I saw it when I was
under 18). Sure, it's absurdist and anachronistic but it's often
hilarious, with many quotable lines and memorable moments. I am sure
that Spike Lee hates the film due to all the times that “the N
word” gets uttered, but hey that's how it was during the time
period and this is a satire so that is OK; you don't always have to
be politically correct; it just depends on what it is, and I imagine
there would be trouble getting a movie like this made today.
Anyhow,
the crowd I saw this with was bigger than expected, so it was nice to
watch a very funny movie with a crowd that laughed at all of the
humorous moments. Good times. Speaking of humorous moments, I wonder
what it would have been like had John Wayne accepted the offer to
cameo in the movie, as was offered to him. He promised to see it but
needless to say this was way out there for a conservative guy like
him. I laugh how a few years ago someone said that Wayne was offered
the Taggert part, played by Pickens. I think someone was confused
there, but it would have been amazing to have heard The Duke utter
racial slurs, been in a scene where many people pass gas due to
eating beans and using phrases like “Kansas City fa****s”.
I
was glad to see that movie in that way. I'll be back tomorrow night.
Starring:
Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Benedict Cumberbatch, Karl Urban, Peter
Weller
From:
Paramount
Yep,
here is me talking about the two latest Star Trek films. I've already
talked about my history with the whole series so I won't recap that.
Sad to say I ended up coming across some spoilers for Into Darkness
and one of them was me stumbling onto a webpage and that may have
been a dumb error on my part; the other spoilers, though, it was
people being blabbermouths and I am not happy about that as I would
have preferred not having that knowledge beforehand. When I talk
about Into Darkness I'll be non-spoiler then I'll hide my spoiler
thoughts with white text so you have to highlight it to read it.
As
for the '09 film, there are several things I could carp about but
overall it's minor stuff and I happen to enjoy the film. It certainly
opens in a strong way, with Nero's ship from the future destroying
the USS Kelvin and Kirk's father being brave and giving up his life
to save the lives of many, then you see how the crew got together and
met each other, and this establishes that these movies are in an
alternate universe from the original series and films, so they can do
whatever they want to, like Spock & Uhara being lovers, or what
have you. It's fine big-budget entertainment that's also part of a
legendary franchise and I say it works fine in both realms.
Last
night at midnight I saw Into Darkness, and sad to say it's a typical
sequel, meaning it's inferior. It isn't awful; it's just that with
the pluses and the minuses, it turns out to be average overall. I've
seen some sequels this year that were awful (I'm looking in your
general direction, A Good Day To Die Hard); this isn't that but I was
hoping it'd be good. At least there are exciting scenes... you know,
big action setpieces and all that, and there are other sorts of
entertaining moments. But it's the script and story that let it down.
I wish they wouldn't have made some of the choices that they chose to
make, I'll put it that way.
Like
I said, it's not awful; it's just disappointing due to the missteps
they made. At least Cumberbatch was cool as... well, whatever villain
he was. I'll be back tomorrow night. Now, onto MAJOR SPOILERS, so
don't highlight and read it unless you don't care to see the movie at
all or you're just that damn curious.
Of
course Benedict Cumberbatch is Khan, despite not looking like he's
from India nor even looking Mexican like the original Khan. This is
never explained. The whole thing with Peter Weller's character being
an important member of Starfleet and yet ends up being the villain...
I have little problem with the general idea. How it was executed,
though... doesn't always make sense.
But boy do they do a lot of fan
service for the hardcore Trekkers, but real obvious things so I don't
know how they would feel about all the references or how entire
blocks of dialogue and plot points are taken from Wrath of Khan but
modified so that it'd be different and it would surprise people...
yeah, I could have done without that. But the deus ex machina that
gets introduced late in the movie to bring back someone from the
dead... it just seems lame and unneeded, as if the death ended up not
meaning a whole lot if he wasn't gone for long before being revived
in a contrived way. Wrath of Khan, this isn't, that is for sure. Too
much stupidity and I wish the script and story would have been more
solid.
I did make a post last night where I stated I wouldn't be back here until Thursday night, but I do need to mention a few things:
I should have mentioned while talking about Star Trek IV that the original idea was to have EDDIE MURPHY be the guy who assists the crew in 1986, not a lady. I've heard different reasons why this wasn't to be. It's probably several different things, but Eddie ended up doing The Golden Child instead, a movie not well-received and he's regretted it since then, as I know from comedy shows he did before 1986 that he's a legit Star Trek fan; who knows how that would have turned out... it either would have been amazing or atrocious.
Regarding that punk song I provided a video for last time... it was actually a song created by the movie producers and crew as the original song they had was deemed "not punk enough". How about that?
Finally, last night I was looking at something not even related to Star Trek Into Darkness and I have a feeling I got spoiled on something pretty big that I did not want to be spoiled on. Figures, but I am not happy about it. It happened 48 hours before I was to see the new movie, too. At least Thursday I'll be talking about that film, but in vague terms of course as I won't be spoiling anything.
Starring:
William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, the rest of the main crew of the
Starship Enterprise, and there's Catherine Hicks too
From:
Paramount
Yep,
here is the way out into left field entry in the original Star Trek
movie series, one that understandably divides people due to how
different it is. What a bold choice, but I suppose fortune favors the
bold, like longtime actor Jonathan Goldsmith, a.k.a. The Dos Equis
Guy says as The Most Interesting Man In The World. Yeah, he's a
longtime actor and one of these days I need to watch one of the movie
he is featured prominently in. Awhile back I did see a decent amount
of this on Ion TV one Saturday night while killing time waiting to go
to a club in downtown Orlando. I hadn't seen it in full in who knows
how many years.
Anyhow,
you likely know the plot already, but to explain anyway... as the
Klingons are looking for Kirk to be prosecuted for what happened in
the last film (and they showed footage from the last movie to show
what happened, including the ship blowing up from the outside... um,
how was that footage captured?), a strange probe heads towards Earth
and wreaks havoc; it's odd how the idea of something mysterious
heading towards Earth is quite similar to the first Star Trek movie
with V'Ger. This time, the probe is from some mysterious civilization
and they've talked to humpback whales for many thousands of years.
When they became extinct in this century in this universe, they
became curious so they went to Earth to try and find them... and they
end up causing a lot of havoc with the oceans and all electricity and
possibly ruining the planet forever.
Meanwhile, Kirk and the crew are
chillin on the Vulcan planet for 3 months, as they're apprehensive to
go back to Earth to deal with Starfleet's punishments. I imagine the
Vulcan planet isn't so much fun due to how logical Vulcans are and
all... they decide to go back just as the probe is causing all that
havoc. They decide to save Starfleet's ass once again, this time by
time travelling in the Klingon Bird of Prey they hijacked, resulting
in a really bizarre sequence that must be a blast or a terror to
watch while high on drugs. They're in 1986 and they have to try and
bring back humpback whales so that they can give the 411 to the probe
for it to leave.
Sorry
for the long plot description but it is easy to poke fun at the film
even if you like it, and I do like it. Once they get to the 80's, boy
is it wacky. It's a fish out of water story as the whole crew stands
out for being weird in that time period with the way they act, their
dress, and all that, and Spock is trying to get back to “normal”
after what happened in the last film. There's a lot of comedy, and
not all of it works. Still, despite some flaws, it is an entertaining
popcorn movie as hey, it still has the characters I enjoy and it has
a wacky tale to tell of how they would act in such a setting, and
everyone has a chance to shine. It is hard to rate with the rest of
the series due to how it stands out, though.
Before
I gave it a view, I looked on its IMDb page and someone there asked a
simple question, and to paraphrase, it was “Um, in the 60's show,
it was established that the Earth of the late 20th
century was definitely different because in the 90's, it was said
that Khan was a ruler of a decent amount of the planet. Yet, in this
movie, 1986 San Francisco is like how it was in real life. Insert the
meme .gif of Ernie laughing while Bert looks up from his book with a
blank look on his face. Yeah, there are some things with this movie that make me wonder, but it doesn't really affect my enjoyment, mind you.
One
thing I did not remember from viewing it as a kid... this movie is
not subtle. They lay it on thick with the ripping of how humans were
in the late 20th
century, from their pollution to how they use vulgarities often, from
how “primitive” they are and how bad the idea of nuclear power is
to how they don't give a damn about the environment. I don't want to
say there's an agenda, but well... still, it is a nice message for
humans not to abuse the environment and not eradicate entire species.
Oh,
and amusingly, the punk song you hear during the great scene of Kirk
& Spock dealing with the punk rocker on the bus (after the punk
gives them the finger, Spock uses his Vulcan Neck Pinch to knock him
out), the entire song is on YouTube. Awesome.
I
won't be back until Thursday night, but I plan on writing about more
than one movie with the next post.
Starring:
Nick Stahl, Johnny Galicki, Lukas Haas, Rachael Leigh Cook
From:
Many different companies, including Motion Picture Corporation of
America and Gemini Film
Yep,
after way too long I watched another Rachael film. I figured today
was an appropriate day to do so; today is Mother's Day and well, this
past Tuesday it was announced that she and her husband Daniel Gillies
(they've been married since August of '04) were going to have a kid
for the first time in the fall. Congratulations to the couple.
Anyway, as she's going to be a mom in a few months... I've had the
DVD for awhile but tonight was the time to give it a viewing.
The
plot: A trio of college kids on a ficticious campus in New York are
bosom buddies; there is Toby (Stahl), a straight A student from high
school; there is also loudmouth brash Jude (Galicki), and there's
bookworm wallflower Casey (Haas). They all enjoy the thrill (and
agony) of gambling on sporting events. Well, Jude gets the idea that
they should become bookies themselves for the students on campus,
despite there being in the area a pair of mobster types who handle
that racket already (longtime character actors David Proval and John
Diehl; both guys are “That Guy” sort of people you likely have
seen before even if you didn't realize it, as both have been acting
for a few decades now). Things start off fine at first and they enjoy
the fat cash they get for the operation, and Toby is enjoying the
budding romance with Hunter (Cook). But then problems happen,
including Jude enjoying the nose candy, and the mobster types start
to get angry...
Overall,
this is not a great film but it isn't bad either. It's simply good
and a fine way to spend an hour and a half. There aren't too many
surprises... and it still is entertaining, even if you can tell at
times this is a low-budget thing. At least the movie doesn't suck or
is aggravating. Sure, Jude is a D-bag throughout and becomes an even
bigger one after he gets money and becomes a cokehead, but that was
the point. It is a rainy afternoon sort of movie if you do manage to
track it down or actually see it play on TV somewhere. At least
Rachael looks pretty hot as usual, IMO.
The
most interesting thing about the movie to me is that it is set in
America and all the characters are American, so the movie was
actually filmed in... Cologne, Germany, disguised as a random city in
New York state. I imagine someone or some company got them a really
cheap deal to film in the city and use such sites in the city as the
giant indoor arena now known as Lanxess Arena, which among other
things held a UFC show, WWE house shows, and many concerts. The
exteriors of that fancy-looking building was used to represent the
college basketball arena on campus.
Like
I said, this is a standard film which at least isn't bad, even if
there's cliches and it could have been at least real good. I'll be
back tomorrow night and I'll be back with talking about Star Trek. It
turns out I won't be watching V or VI, but that is OK with me. At
least I can start sooner on seeing the Fast & The Furious movies.
Starring:
William Shatner, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, Christopher Lloyd
From:
Paramount
Yep,
I have gotten back to doing the original Star Trek series. For sure I
know I'll see IV before Wednesday night, where I'll be watching both
the '09 Star Trek and the new film on the big screen back to back.
After that I'll try to watch the previous 5 Fast & The Furious
films (the fifth I of course won't review as I already reviewed it)
before I see the sixth on the big screen Memorial Day Weekend. I'll
be back tomorrow and I will actually pick a movie themed for Mother's
Day, but don't worry it's different from what you're probably
thinking.
Now,
onto this movie, one that of course I saw who knows how many times as
a kid and more than once after I had gone through Pon Farr, so to
speak. The plot you probably know already, but... Spock dies at the
end of Wrath of Khan while fixing the ship. His body is placed in an
empty photon torpedo and launched onto the planet just created by the
Project Genesis device. Turns out, being on that planet caused Spock
to be reborn; I always thought that aspect was pretty wacky and how
the growth of the unstable planet matched the rapid growth of Spock
from child to what he was before he died. Anyhow, a rogue Klingon
Captain (Lloyd) finds out about Project Genesis so he goes to the
planet to get the weapon for its destructive power, as Kirk and gang
hijack the Enterprise to go to the planet also as before he died,
Spock mind-melded with Bones and left all his memories with him.
While
I think it's wacky how Spock was reborn and how both Lloyd and John
Larroquette were Klingon's, I think this is an entertaining-enough
film, even though it definitely isn't as good as Wrath of Khan. It
doesn't seem as epic and the deaths you see here (including that of
Kirk's son David) don't seem as impactful as you'd expect. Still,
it's a fun movie to watch as there's still drama and cool moments
(such as the idea of the whole Genesis project failing, as you
probably shouldn't try to mess around with Mother Nature and
evolution, you know), and Kelley gets to shine as a different version
of Bones than usual. It's certainly better than Star Trek V. I do not
know yet if I'll get a chance to watch that and VI. It depends on
what's available at the videostore, which I'll probably go to
tomorrow.
Starring:
Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez, Lou Taylor Pucci, Jessica Lucas,
Elizabeth Blackmore
From:
TriStar
My
apologies for getting this up real late Thursday night when I wanted
to do it much earlier; at somewhat late notice I decided to go to St.
Petersburg to see the Tampa Bay Rays play a baseball game and I had
no time to finish this and post it before I left in the afternoon. My
apologies. I will be back Saturday night.
Here
is the second half of the double bill I saw Tuesday night along with
Pain & Gain at the drive-in. Ever since I heard there was going
to be a remake of the classic original film (which I reviewed back in2010) I thought it was an extraordinarily stupid idea, as while the
original is super low-budget and goofy, that is a big part of what
makes it so great, the low-fi quality and how awesome things were
done despite the minimal cost. It's just a blast to watch and the
special effects still work for me more than 30 years later. A
remake... what a stupid idea as how can you improve on such a classic
horror tale?
Well,
turns out that despite all the hype it's gotten from the D-bag
hipster festival known as SXSW and from horror websites/people in the
community I usually trust, I ended up HATING this movie. More on why
after I say that the plot here concerns 5 young people who are at a
remote cabin and in this version, one of them is a drug abuser so
they brought her here to make her go cold turkey, so when the fit
hits the shan, at first they thought she's just going through withdrawal and yeah, I wasn't a fan of that aspect.
Sure,
this movie has a lot of gore, more than usual for a big studio horror
film, at least in recent times. That's all well and good, but I
really wish they would have focused as much on the script... what a
terrible nonsensical script this is. I could go on and on about it
but it's total crap and that was a huge turn-off for me. For example,
to give a minor spoiler, the necronomicon (the book of the dead; it
allowed for the evil to come to the cabin in both the original and
this) is found in the basement of the house. In the original, it
makes sense why that book would be in the cabin as the person who
used it last disappeared after getting possessed. In this version,
it's different. There is a cold open which tells a different tale and
based on that, it makes zero sense why it would be found there...
covered with a garbage bag and barbed wire, and random curse words in
English written on the pages. Besides that making zero logical sense,
why wasn't the book just hidden so that a long-haired bearded dude
couldn't come across it and read the magic words that bring the evil
there?
Then,
there's the characters. Among the five, the bearded guy is the only
one who I did not despise. The rest are total asstagonists. They are
rude selfish stupid characters, especially the brother (Fernandez) of
the drug user (Levy). There's conflict between he and his sister, and
it's definitely understandable why she'd hate that douche. Besides
that, he seemingly always does the wrong thing, and the stupidest
thing at that. And somehow one of the stupid things he does...
somehow works? Yeah, I got quite upset at that moment. I just don't
get why this has gotten love from so many places. At least I know
that some segments of the community think similarly to me in that
it's vastly overrated.
Starring:
Mark Wahlberg, The Rock, Anthony Mackie, Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris
From:
Paramount
Last
night I went to a drive-in in Lakeland. Yes, some are still around,
and I've been to the Silver Moon a handful of times since I moved to
Florida. They've been around since the late 40's, if you can believe
it. I decided to see this film and another one. I'll talk about the
other one tomorrow afternoon, but I did not enjoy that as much as I
liked this, that is for sure.
The
plot: It is based on a true story-how much of it was true, I don't
know; I hope it was almost all factual as how could you make up such
bizarre details unless it was true?-of a trio of bodybuilders
(Wahlberg, Rock, Mackie) who decide to kidnap a rich A-hole
(Shalhoub) in order to get a quick payday, as all three feel they are
entitled to be rich and famous, and while they are quite ambitious,
their intelligence does not match their ambition at all and that
results in many complications and there's a comedy of errors as they
end up in really strange situations.
I
understand why this motion picture isn't for everyone. This is a real
sordid tale and as told, most of the people you come across are
various degrees of D-bag and A-hole. Ed Harris and his private
detective character at least is a normal old guy who is dedicated to
his job and doing it well. I am able to get over the characters but I
do get why that would be an issue for some people, if not a lot of
people. I was also entranced by the story as before the movie I had
no knowledge of the true story so I was always interested in seeing
where it would end up and why at the beginning you see part of the
ending and Marky Mark running away from the cops.
I
also get why people wouldn't care for the over the top way this was
told. It's in your face and crazy but to me it seems to fit the
story, between all the narration you hear from the characters (as if
it was Goodfellas or something) and the graphics that sometimes
appear. It seems to be appropriate for this kind of over the top
story. I usually don't care for Bay's films (to put it nicely; most
of them aren't worthy of being seen by me) but he and his bombastic
nature seems like a good fit for this real life horror story.
Again,
I get why this is for acquired tastes. The story you see told here is
quite horrifying, as the bodybuilders end up doing some repugnant
gross things to try and make it rich and keep their dough. But for me
and how I tend to dig darkly comic tales (even the real dark ones), I
happened to enjoy this quite a bit, a surprise given what I think of
Michael Bay in general. There are nice performances all around (Marky
Mark, The Rock, and Shalhoub stand out the most to me) and now I am
going to start to read this epic-length article on the true story.
My
apologies for this being a few hours late. I was tied up with other
things.
Here's
something random; a movie I am pretty sure was just added to Instant
(under its alternate title of Blood Waters of Dr. Z), and one that is
so bad it was on MST3K way back when. It is a movie that was filmed
in Jacksonville, Florida, and as of a few years ago it was shown more
than once on the big screen in its home city. Recently, the director
has said he wants to do a sequel to this movie! I'm not so sure about
that. I did see it a few years ago when TCM Underground showed it. I
decided to watch it again, for a reason.
The
plot says it all: An angry scientist dude gets pissed off as his
contemporaries so in his crazy mind-and oh yeah, he's a Nazi too!-he
decides to enact his plan to turn people into a human-catfish hybrid.
Yes. He injects the serum himself and turns into the creature. He
goes around killing people, and yada yada yada. Actually, there's
also the presence of walking catfish, a legit animal from the Congo
or Southeast Asia that actually did invade Florida and is still a
part of this state's wildlife. At least one thing with this was
scientifically accurate...
Yep,
the movie is total amateur hour and it is hilariously bad. There's
goofy narration where I suppose it's like Vincent Price, but it turns
out to be a pale imitation. It becomes campy almost right away and
there is much unintentional humor... along with its share of slow and
dull spots. Actually, I'll be honest: a lot of it is dull! It is a
LONG 15 or so minutes before the dude turns into the human-catfish
(and what a goofy costume, too) and that's the first 15 minutes of
the movie, mind you.
The humor comes from such thing as the guy in
creature form using a marker to scratch out and highlight something
on a giant piece of paper, and the critter spraying crap in nature
with his formula for the sprayees to go crazy. What wasn't so funny
was to hear the old redneck sheriff refer to an African-American man
as “boy”. Hmmm, not something I really needed to hear...
Yet,
something with this movie is actually legit awesome to me: the score.
No, not the traditional parts you hear, nor the regular song in the
opening credits. It's how a lot of it was electronic, and it just
sounds weird. I have no idea how it was created with early 1970's
technology but to me it's so unique I think it's great. If only
there'd be a soundtrack release of it... I know the music was from
Jamie DeFrates and Barry Hodgin; both only worked on this movie and
that was it. Odd. At least something with this crap-pile is
worthwhile.
Really,
the film is probably best viewed while just listening to it on
Instant rather than watching it, as what was filmed with the camera
is just pure atrociousness. No surprise it was on MST3K. I'll be back
Wednesday night.
Starring:
William Berger, Ira Von Furstenburg, Maurice Poli, Edwige Fenech,
Teodoro Corra
From:
P.A.C.
Here
is another Instant watch and another film from Bava. I'll be honest
here, I picked it because it featured the quite hot Fenech, a lovely
brunette dame who appeared in quite a few European films in the 70's.
I understand she was in Hostel 2 just a few years ago and even at
almost 60 when she was in that, I know from photos that she looked
great for her age. Anyhow, I figured it was time to see one of her
movies.
The
plot: A rich industralist named George Sagan (the American version
has him named George Stark; it should be pretty easy to figure out
what they were referencing; how appropriate for this weekend) has
various people on his private island, including a professor scientist
who created the formula to something, and it's worth a lot. The guys
on the island all want to buy the rights to the formula in order to
make a crapload of cash but he refuses. Suddenly, killings start
happen and you don't know who it is; yes, it's a version of Agatha
Christie's Ten Little Indians, otherwise known as And Then There Were
None or the original book title of Ten Little Ni... yes, the N word;
it was based on an old British nursery rhyme, way back before that
word was deemed to be offensive. Unfortunately, the factoid I just
delivered was more interesting than too much of this film.
I'll
say that this was average overall. The story had too many dull
moments and it seemed like it took too long for it to get going. It
seemed longer than 81 minutes, for sure. The story became convoluted,
which was fine as it became amusing. By the end, though, it became a
mess and it seemed to not make a lot of sense. From what I hear, Bava
was contracturally obligated to make this-usually not a good sign-and
he had little time to prepare this movie. It does explain a lot.
Still,
there definitely are moments. The house that much of the film takes
place at is a futuristic and mod house, totally dating it to the late
60's and early 70's. That makes it hilarious in 2013. There's a
groovy jazz score. Despite the constraints it at least was shot well
by Bava. I coudn't explain the title of this film, though; then
again, I know that some giallo flicks have rather lengthy and
apparently nonsensical titles.
And
there are some quality lines/moments. For example, a character
washing his hands with J&B whiskey, or the victims getting hung
in the giant meat locker in plastic bags! Most importantly to me,
there were a bevy of beauties in the cast. It wasn't just Fenech who
was easy on the eyes, but Edwige was shown to nice effect, whether
she was dancing while not wearing a lot, in a bikini, in red
underwear, or while she's showing off her bare breasts.
If
you want to read a full review which gives away the entire story, you
can read something I found at random, which is Mad Mad Mad Mad
Movies, read it here. What an odd movie this is. I certainly need to
see more Bava movies from this time period, and ones that are rated
higher than this one by hardcore fans. I'll be back Monday afternoon.
Starring:
Leticia Roman, John Saxon, Valentina Cortese, Titti Tomaino (believe
it or not, a guy's name)
From:
Galatea Film
Here
is what I watched on Netflix tonight; a film that I saw identified as
the first-ever giallo movie, the start of a popular sub-genre of
horror in the 70's. I figured that I should watch more in the genre
and there are some of those flicks on Instant so I might as well
start off with the first one, right?
The
plot: Nora, a tourist from New York (Roman) visits Rome to hang out
with an old relative. Almost right away she croaks. She runs out of
the house and panics and after she gets her purse stolen, she sees a
woman get murdered. Most people think she's crazy or dreamt it up due
to her love of murder mystery novels; that includes a handsome doctor
she befriends (Saxon). She tries to solve the murder on her own but
runs into complications...
This
is definitely a Hitchcockian story more than anything else. It is
more about the real good way it was filmed rather than the story,
which was nonsensical at times but did have twists and turns. As it
is a black and white movie the way that light and shadows was
used...creative. Don't expect a lot of violence and killing in this
story; it's more of a mystery as Nora tries to figure out what is
going on. You can see how the sub-genre started here, with it growing
and maturing into the stylized bloody movies you got in the 70's.
I
was amused to see John Saxon act here as the earliest I had seen him
was 10 years later in Enter the Dragon, and I also remember him from
80's movies like A Nightmare on Elm Street. Seeing him look the same
except younger... something I thought I wouldn't see. I also thought
I woudn't get to see a glimpse of him wearing a Speedo on an Italian
beach, but that was the case. You do get a much better look at Nora
in a bikini; I am glad they did it that way rather than the other way
around.
So,
I thought this was an entertaining-enough flick. I mean, "marijuana cigarettes" is actually a plot point! I'll be back
tomorrow night.
